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Hilarious!

Friday, February 17, 2012



The 'Middle Wife'
by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my
own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a
few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness
and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet
turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like
that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on
them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing
kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with
a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother,
and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then
Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there.
He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not
to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are
watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!'
Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the
house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical
duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't
have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie
down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in
case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed,
like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands
miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden,
out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.
When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in
there in the first place.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's Show-and-tell
day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOROTHYBERO 2/18/2012 7:42AM

    Too funny - thanks for sharing!!

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VICIOUS421 2/18/2012 12:01AM

    That is Hilarious and Adorable!!!!!
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ORGANIC811LFRV 2/17/2012 5:49PM

    This is precious!

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SUECHRIS50 2/17/2012 5:29PM

    Bestest story ever,I felt like i was there!!!LOL

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MORTICIAADDAMS 2/17/2012 4:12PM

    LOL!!!

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TRAVELNISTA 2/17/2012 10:18AM

    This was so funny! I actually felt like I was there watching her tell her story. emoticon emoticon

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DEERLADY45 2/17/2012 8:30AM

    This just is so-oo Hilarious! You are right!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonIt just made my day! Thanks for sharing!BONNIE ( Kids are so-o funny)

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Wisdom Wall Plaques

Thursday, February 16, 2012

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOROTHYBERO 2/17/2012 6:01AM

    emoticon

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BOVEY63 2/16/2012 2:16PM

    Wonderful plaques!

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GREENIESTIME2 2/16/2012 1:53PM

    If I could copy that first one I would, thank you

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VICIOUS421 2/16/2012 12:07PM

    emoticon Thanks for the positive Start to my Day!!!!!
emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 2/16/2012 8:45AM

    Excellent!!

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REJ7777 2/16/2012 7:15AM

    It reassures me that the Sovereign Ruler of the universe is also the Sovereign Ruler of my life. In spite of all the plans of mice and men, He'll have the final word. I trust Him, even when I don't understand "why".

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TWEETYKC00 2/16/2012 6:55AM

    So true!

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Wall Plaques

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VICIOUS421 2/15/2012 11:53PM

    Adorable!!!!!!
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BLUEBIRDSFLY 2/15/2012 8:31PM

    Those white cats are really funny and very true to the nature of cats from what I see going on here. They are big babies!

Comment edited on: 2/15/2012 8:32:18 PM

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TWEETYKC00 2/15/2012 2:36PM

    So precious!

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BOVEY63 2/15/2012 2:05PM

    Cute!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 2/15/2012 11:18AM

    LOL. The grass is always greener. LOL.

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Wall Plaques

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOROTHYBERO 2/14/2012 8:22PM

    emoticon

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BOVEY63 2/14/2012 4:34PM

    Great ones!

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EXCUSES-BE-GONE 2/14/2012 2:12PM

    emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 2/14/2012 1:35PM

    Fantastic plaques!!

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DAISEYTWO 2/14/2012 1:27PM

    emoticon

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Thank you!

Monday, February 13, 2012

I just wanted to say thank you to all my sparkfriends who diligently support me throughout the year! This is truly appreciated!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 2/14/2012 1:34PM

    You are welcome! I love this picture!!

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PEPPYPATTI 2/13/2012 6:51PM

    The support goes both ways! Thank you!
ps-love the pic! emoticon

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BOVEY63 2/13/2012 5:04PM

    That's what friends are for - thank you to you too!
emoticon
Awesome picture!

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TEENY_BIKINI 2/13/2012 3:38PM

    emoticon

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SUECHRIS50 2/13/2012 2:59PM

    You are so welcome,thank you back!!

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VICIOUS421 2/13/2012 1:12PM

    emoticonThank You Too emoticon

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GREENIESTIME2 2/13/2012 1:05PM

    I missed your cool pictures you make me laugh or smile every time.

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CHUBRUB3 2/13/2012 11:48AM

    Works 2 ways! Thank you too!
Hugs,
Angela

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DOROTHYBERO 2/13/2012 8:45AM

    That is why we are here!!

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NANCYRUBIO 2/13/2012 7:30AM

    Sums it all! emoticon

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