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Journal Entry 3

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

It's a new day! Last night was a little shaky, but I survived it with much help. THANK YOU FAMILY 4 UR SUPPORT!!!!! I could not ask for a better support system. Yesterday's biggest accomplishment was not going into the fridge right after that zipper broke..... It wasn't easy, but I made it through. A victory that seemed so small was so huge for me!!!!

My goal for today, is simply to stay positive.
Get some workout time in.
Water...Water See ya soon.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONIQUE138 5/19/2009 12:29PM

    That's great, I'm proud of you. When you fall you just get right back up and keep going and don't look back at what made you fall.

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EAT_MOVE_LIVE 5/19/2009 10:30AM

    Alright!!! You are going to have a great day today! Congrats on staying away from that fridge!!

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Embarrassing Moment

Monday, May 18, 2009

Okay, so I am in this play and it's a really nice size production so to speak. Tonight we had to try on wardrobe and the dress for one of my scenes could not fit and they were unable to get the zipper up. As a matter of fact part of the zipper broke off. The great part is that no one made me feel unconfortable, but I felt so sad within myself. The whole ride home I battled in my mind whether to go straight to the gym and work out until I couldn't or just go home and eat something just to make me feel better.

Instead I came straight in the house, passed up the kitchen, and sat at the computer to be with my sp family. I know someone else has felt the way I feel right now. As I type the tears are welling up in my eyes, because I don't want to allow myself to be defeated. I must do this for the better me to come forth in every way, because my health is important..... Thanks for allowing me to blog myself right out of messing up my great day on the right path.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONIQUE138 5/19/2009 12:26PM

    Oh sorry to hear that. Don't worry about the dress because you are going to be fantastic in the play.

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EAT_MOVE_LIVE 5/19/2009 10:29AM

    I'm so sorry! What a bummer...I'm glad you did the right thing though and didn't turn to food for comfort. Keep up all the great work!

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JENN20030 5/19/2009 9:20AM

    Hey There!

I think every one of us are familiar to a humiliation at one point and time regarding our weight... When I went dress shopping for my wedding gown... holy crap was that an eye opener!

Girl, you're not alone!! I too have a much longer road to struggle down, but I have my SP family to keep me going and to bust my booty when I need it! We can do it!! You can do it!! I know you have faith, just put that faith in yourself because YOU ARE WORTH IT!! I wish I had listened to my own advice a while ago!! I hope today is a better day for you!! Best of luck and if you ever need some support, your new Ohio buddy is here!!! emoticon

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SHAWTEE4YA 5/19/2009 5:07AM

    Hey Girl...

I know the feeling, trust me. A similar incident is what caused me to get my booty on Sparks and get this journey started!!

I was trying on dresses at the bridal shop, (I'm going to be maid of honor in my sisters wedding in Oct)... so anyway, there was only a size 10 in a dress she liked. Well... I was NO size 10. But, I agreed to try it on.. force it one more like. So when I tried to take the dress off, it was stuck. I had to have my sister and best friend come into the dressing room to help me take it off.. while hearing small rips as it was coming off. Talk about humiliating....

Anyway, I was the butt of jokes for the day... and of course I laughed along with them.. but inside I was just wanting to curl up and die of embarrassment!!

But hey... were doing something about it right? Baby steppin all the way!! So things will be fine Girl, U just take it one day at a time and make the best of every opportunity to make good choices and move your body every chance you get!! You'll see wonderful results and one day you'll be able to look back at this incident and be glad for all your hard work and dedication!!

Huggs and Feel Better, Chris

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SQUIRRELLEE69 5/19/2009 12:11AM

  I have been right there with you!!!! I feel every tear that you shed!! We can't give up and yes it is hard when this stuff happens. I pray so hard that I will wake up thin but in the end I know that I am on this journey for the rest of my life. I get so mad at myself when I wonder how I let myself get this big!!! We need each other and I am glad you are reaching out and not hurting yourself by over eating or killing yourself at the gym. I believe in you...yes, you will make it!!!! emoticon

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MZSASSY 5/18/2009 11:38PM


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NIKIANDMICHEAL 5/18/2009 10:19PM

    oh sweetheart! I have sooo been there. When I was in theater I had to have my costumes special made, but even more than that is that defeated feeling. That make tears well up want to give up feeling. So as of last December I had lost fifty pounds. I was smaller than I had ever been in my life. I still had forty to go, but hey, if you been there, you know how good half way feels!!! I have since gained back 20 of those pounds. I had to buy bigger jeans for the first time in almost a year. That alone was depressing, but then one of my dogs ate my new fat jeans. I was going out to 4-wheel with my boyfriend and had to squeeze into my skinny jeans. It was awful. I wanted to cry, i think i did a little bit. They are SOOO tight right now. Everything that doesn't fit in them, bubbles out of them on the top. My boyfriend (we live together) wanted to know what was wrong. And I was so ashamed I didn't want to tell him. I just wanted a doughnut! LOL or ice cream, or.... I didn't have any. I adjusted my attitude, admitted what was wrong and he shared that he had been feeling the same way. The next day I joined this site.

The point of that long story :D is that anyone that has been overweight has felt that way. I am so proud of you for making it past the kitchen! That's really hard. You did fantastic and some day you will look back on this and say...yeah, I've been there, but I didn't let it stop me. I had a life to live and I kept living it!


Comment edited on: 5/18/2009 10:20:15 PM

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ALABAMA01 5/18/2009 10:16PM

  I can feel your pain. At least you didn't allow yourself to eat to make yourself feel better. Just keep doing what you are doing- and remember everybody has embarrassing moments like this. emoticon

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    As they say, this too shall pass...I'm so sorry for that happening to you.
One day you will look back and laugh...don't beat yourself up about're on the road, so keep going. Take it one day at a time, one little victory at a didn't hit the kitchen and binge, you instead wrote about your feelings and that is a step in the right direction on this long road. You keep your head up and KEEP moving forward. One good decision leading to the next.
Hang in there girlie!

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Accountability - Journal Entry 2

Monday, May 18, 2009

Yesterday, wasn't too bad and I'm excited. No, I didn't fully reach yesterday's goal but I did however accomplish some.

Today's Goal:

Drink water (8 glasses)
2 Veggies w/ dinner
Stay within Caloric Intake

Check out results later..... Love you all..... Thanks for your support.

Okay so I have mid-day update, because I am so excited.
I have had breakfast, lunch and 2 snacks so far today. Do you know I have only used a little over 500 calories so far..... Dinner is going to be sweet.... see ya

TODAY's Results;

Still working on my water right now.
Got one veggie in.
I actually had calories to spare.

Awesome...... Day three approaches and I will be ready.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MZSASSY 5/18/2009 3:49PM


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Accountability- Journal Entry 1

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Today marks the first day of my "focused" journey into my life change. I am without excuses from this point forward and I am making myself accountable. So I decided to use my blog as a public journal to make myself accountable for my own eating habits. I can talk all day long and receive the greatest of encouragement through the many faces I've met here, but the only thing is I have to muster up the will power to walk it out on a daily basis. Knowing that there will be days that are not as great as others, but also knowing the "ONLY" way I will fail is if I don't continue to try.

So today, I congratulate myself on first day that is going to be grand.

Today's goals:

Eat at least 1 fruit
No eating past 8:00.m.
Drink 8 glasses of water.

Until later, sending my love and appreciating yours in return........ Devon

TODAY's Results:

Had an orange
Had 1 table spoon of weight watchers ice cream at 8:08 p.m. (Not bad)
Only got in 4 glasses of water.

Not everything accomplished, but I am proud of the results....... See ya tomorrow

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EAT_MOVE_LIVE 5/18/2009 10:18AM

    Awesome! I love this idea and I think it is going to help you get to that goal! Have a great day, keep up all the great work.

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ILUE422 5/17/2009 3:09PM

    Good Luck Devon! We all know you can do this, stay strong and keep the focus going!

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MCLYMORE 5/17/2009 12:46PM

    Congratulations and best wishes; I know you can do it if you try. I am on your side as I am on a tough journey myself. Let's take it one day at a time as as you mentioned! NO EXCUSES.

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DELTANUPE 5/17/2009 12:05PM

    Good luck. You can do it.

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DANIELLE68 5/17/2009 12:00PM

    Awesome commitment to your own well-being.

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Falling off and Feeling Sad

Saturday, December 06, 2008

The worst experience ever. I am trying so hard to stay motivated to get this weight off and it seems like nothing is working. I have falling off the train and feeling unmotivated to pull myself out of the pit I've fell in. I went shopping yesterday due to the cold weather and I just wanted to grab a few pieces. Everything I tried on looked so bad and I became so disgusted and I still am. I don't know what kind of approach to take with losing this weight and it seems that all I've tried has failed. When I looked in the mirror I was like are serious? Did you really allow yourself to pack on this weight to where clothes are not fitting?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRUCIFIED1 12/8/2008 11:30AM

    The best approach to take is to take this thing day by day. You must realize that this is a life change - it won't happen quickly or overnight. But every day you wake is another chance. So start setting small goals for yourself and celebrate those small victories. For instance, you might vow to only drink water for 7 days straight.

Just remember that you are worth the effort.

Stay Blessed!!!

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68TOGO 12/6/2008 7:31PM

    When you got a bad grade in school did you stop going to school? What about if you made a mistake at work did you quit going to work? If you bad meal that tasted horrible, did you stop cooking? YOU are the most important person to YOU. You dserve a healthy, beautiful life....There is a song which says,,, we fall down but we get up......You just fell and now you just have to get up.

I gained back all of the weight I lost this past year because I was lazy and wasn't paying attention to what I was eating. I looked at the scale and said, ok, I deserve to be healthy so I am back in the swing of things.

It is not a easy thing to do but YOU deserve it.

Don't worry, there will always be new clothing to purchase, just believe in yourself and you will look GORGEOUS......

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JLTHIN4EVER 12/6/2008 1:48PM

    I know how you feel - since March 2008 I have rapidly gained weight. I kept thinking that I could get it under control before it got too out of hand. Now - 50 pounds later and having no clothes that fit I am depressed and very discouraged. But, we can do it!! I know we can. Go back and read your blog from 11/21/08 and think how you felt when you wrote that! Hang in there!

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