LITTLETEAPOT17   13,383
SparkPoints
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints
 
 
LITTLETEAPOT17's Recent Blog Entries

Job Interview was Poor--Lessons Learned Are....

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Ok, I thought I was prepared; studied my content area for 3 days but I wasn't prepared at all...this was by far the worst interview I have ever done and here's why:

First off, I got there at 4:00 and stood outside the door while another candidate was interviewing. I peeked in the door and saw a younger lady smiling and sitting very confident and speaking to the group of 10 committee members and they were all smiling back at her laughing with her and all seemed to be having a great time.

Right then, I knew I was in trouble.....then my stupid heart started racing and I begin to get nervous. I tried to focus on my breathing....in-hold, count 1, 2, 3, 4 then out 1, 2, 3, 4...in-hold, count 1, 2, 3, 4 and out...I focused on my heartbeat and did the imagery exercises where I placed my mind in the most relaxing place I could think of--down by the lake watching the ducks move slowly across the water. 4:15 came and then 4:25 and my appointment was for 4:30 so I was close to going on to do my "sell." 4:30 came and went and they were still in there, I hated to interrupt, but I began to wonder if I was going to be late and had just assumed that the person in the chair at the end was interviewing. Maybe she was just part of the committee, I thought. I almost opened the door and interrupted them to check when all of a sudden, a man at the back door knocked for me to let him in. He was in a tie and looked professional so I let him in the building. As it turned out, he was on the committee and went inside the room where he told the others I was outside, I guess. Because right after he went in, the main person came out to greet me and tell me it would be just a minute.

Whew, I thought! That was a close one. I almost interrupted an interview session!

Oh, did I forget to mention that on this day it was in the 30's? We had been having 80 degree weather for weeks and on this one day this? My allergies were driving me crazy too--not only was it extremely cold it was very windy and raining to the point of almost sleeting. Now in Texas in April, we don't usually have that kind of weather---that was a bad sign too, I thought. Because of all the weight I have lost, I didn't even have a coat!! Had to drive to the nearest town and go to Burlington's Coat Factory to get a dang coat!! Would have looked stupid to show up without a coat, I thought.

Lessons learned from the interview:
1. Do not let them ever trip me up with the trick question "tell us a little about yourself." From now on I will have a memorized statement ready to go. It will never include anything personal--just set the stage for the interview with my best strengths and accomplishments. It will be to hook them as to why I am perfect for the job.

2. Never interview in the afternoon/evening if I have a choice to do it in the mornings. I'm tired and my energy is waning--they are tired and want to go home. All anyone is thinking about is "what's for dinner."

3. I will have a better response for the "what is your greatest weakness; what is your greatest strength" next time...I have a good greatest strengths answer but need a better answer for my greatest weakness and how I can take measures to improve in that area.

4. I will be prepared with the "do you have any questions for us" question. I always have a standby I use, but yesterday, it was answered in the main persons response before he got to the end, so I couldn't ask the same question again--I looked silly because I was caught off guard. Next time I will have 3 or 4 ready to pull out and use for that one.

5. Finally, I am done preparing and studying for these interviews. I know my content and have done the jobs and am very familiar with what I would be doing. The questions they asked me were situation type hypothetical question anyway and had nothing to do with the content of my field. Reason? They don't know my field anyway....only someone who is actually in my field knows what I should know and this group of people....clueless.

The positives are:

in 3 months, I have had 2 interviews. I have a friend who has a similar degree as I do that has been sending in applications since 2010 and has yet to get one single interview. That tells me that my paperwork is catching someone's eye and that my background and experiences are intriguing at least enough to want to know more about me.

I am getting experience in the interviews. Just like yesterday, even though it was a disaster from the start from the way I answered the "tell us a little about yourself question" which open all kinds of cans of worms. I will be prepared next time and this will never happen to me again.

I am not in this alone. All the decisions we have made as a couple are shared and I take 50% responsibility and DH takes 50% responsibility and just because he is retiring and will be getting a monthly retirement check, he is still responsible to contribute to our situation since he is partly responsible for it as well. I will no longer try to shoulder the whole responsibility of our finances and feel guilty because I have failed, gotten older, can't get hired, or whatever. It is causing me great stress and because I feel desperate to get a job, I am applying for jobs that I really don't want just because of the money they pay.

Which brings me to my final point. As part contributor and not responsible for our entire financial situation, I will only be applying for jobs that I would really like to have. They pay much less, but I don't care. I would rather be happy than have the money anyway. After all, DH can make a dollar or two as well. We are after all a team, it's we, us....not just me! I!

So there you have it....poor interview, but great lessons learned. I will be prepared next time and it will be for a job that fits me and that I really want!
Lessons learned!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERRIKATE 5/2/2013 6:52PM

    Seems I need to resubscribe to your blog each time I find it, Paula -- sorry not to have seen this brilliant one when you first posted it several weeks back: it is AWESOME. You completely expemplify the wisdom of consciously 'transforming poison into medicine' or using a tough, toxic ordeal to uplift you along the path you wish to pursue. WOW! Now that you have seen your 'worst,' that is so 'done' - forever. On to your True Blue best, and I suspect you've already proven that to be so since April 11.

Amazing Woman, You. Yup, you inspire me, in so VERY many ways, Dear Friend!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KRZYKAT3 4/18/2013 10:48AM

    I am not familiar with who you are overall but am freinds with Boonie and saw she replied to you.

Sounds to me like you are returning to the work force after time off. If you have a local communit college, you should see if they have any classes or assistance for "returning to work". THey can help yuo with interview processes today, how to set up your resume etc. Many times this is a free service.

I know if I had to start over right now, I would be mortified because now they interview over the phone!! How can you make a decision about me by tlaking to me on the phone? I hate talking on the phone and get all stiff and formal! YIKES!

Keep learning lesssons and you WILL find the job for you. I love Bonnie's advice!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BEAUTIFULLYMADE 4/18/2013 9:18AM

    I know this is going to sound really weird, it did to me at first also. My uncle told me this trick to help me with being nervous. He is a very outgoing person and never met a stranger in his life, lol. He said walk in a place not thinking how you need this job, but how they need you. Treat the interview like your showing up doing them a favor, not in a snooty way but in a i'm here to help your company be better way. I wish I had this advice during my last interview! He says use this technique with anything your wanting. If you go to buy a car for example, don't be over excited about the one you like and treat it like your doing the salesman a big favor for buying it. Because you actually are, they get commission. So you will be able to get the deal your wanting. I tried this yesterday and it worked. The home on the lot we were buying was furnished for show, I absolutely loved the bar stools but I would have to find a similar set and buy it. Well I told him I wanted the bar stools and that would really make me happy with the buying of the house. He wrote on our paperwork that the bar stools stay with the trailer. He just gave them too me, no extra cost or anything. lol.
Wow I didn't plan on writing such a long comment, what I was originally going to say before my uncle popped in my head... It may not seem like your doing well, but you are doing great, your very motivated and look at the positive. I just think that job wasn't a good fit. They don't deserve you if they didn't consider you for the job, because they clearly don't see what we see in you.


Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSILENE 4/13/2013 9:16AM

    Lets Skype and practice. We can get all dressed up and have fun.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BBAMMOM 4/12/2013 10:51AM

    I really believe that you took more away from your interview than had you walked away feeling more confident. I'm a firm believer in that things happen for a reason. The perfect job is out there waiting for you. Keep learning. Keep being positive. Keep having faith in yourself. It will happen, I am sure of it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEWHITE1109 4/12/2013 12:34AM

    Hey Paula -- I haven't been on Spark enough lately to read many blogs, but am so glad I saw the title of this and read it. It's true that lessons learned are always a positive, so you've got a wonderful attitude about that....it's also true that what we feel is horrible sometimes isn't...and what we think is great sometimes isn't! emoticon

Back when I first found out I was being laid off in 2011, I interviewed for a job with a semi-competitor of my then-employer. I thought it was the best interview I ever had!! Really - I was soooo psyched about it. LOL

I was stunned when I didn't hear anything right away from the recruiter, so I called to check on things. She told me they weren't interested in me. Imagine my shock! They didn't realize it was my BEST interview ever! Ha!

God knows what you need, and when you need it, and all will be well. Trust your heart and your gut, and the right doors will fly open for you!

And...yes, the weather here in Texas nas been absolutely whacky this week, hasn't it???

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHUBRUB3 4/12/2013 12:24AM

    Paula you did great!
Think of all you have learned from this and really all you accomplished.
What a great learning tool this was, if nothing comes of the interview. But don't sell yourself short my friend you are amazing!
Love and hugs,
Angela


Report Inappropriate Comment
PURESTILLWATER 4/11/2013 11:14PM

    Paula, I am so proud of you. This was not the right job anyway and you learned so much. As someone who conducts interviews a TON (maybe over 100 last year alone). The candidates who are really really relaxed and come in with confidence ALWAYS do best and are the most liked. As you said, you know this stuff, you have the skill, you just need to go in there and make them see how perfect you are.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEEMAH2013 4/11/2013 9:53PM

    Today I was reading a quote and I just posted it to my status. I thought of it as I was reading your blog. You ARE the winner in my mind because you took the time to reflect, learn from the experience and put ideas into motion! Oh....the quote......

A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them. --John C. Maxwell

Again I must say that I feel you are the winner!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
F1TFOREVER 4/11/2013 9:53PM

    I love your positive thinking! Interviews are by far the worst, but everything happens for a reason -- and you see right on track! I am sure you will get the job for your next one :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRYINGTOLOSE64 4/11/2013 9:39PM

    Hope you ended up doing better on the interview then you think. Also, I've found that what helps me with having questions prepared. Instead of relying on remembering them I have them printed out on a piece of paper and I scan through them picking out questions that they haven't already answered.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Job Interview was Poor--Lessons Learned Are....

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Ok, I thought I was prepared; studied my content area for 3 days but I wasn't prepared at all...this was by far the worst interview I have ever done and here's why:

First off, I got there at 4:00 and stood outside the door while another candidate was interviewing. I peeked in the door and saw a younger lady smiling and sitting very confident and speaking to the group of 10 committee members and they were all smiling back at her laughing with her and all seemed to be having a great time.

Right then, I knew I was in trouble.....then my stupid heart started racing and I begin to get nervous. I tried to focus on my breathing....in-hold, count 1, 2, 3, 4 then out 1, 2, 3, 4...in-hold, count 1, 2, 3, 4 and out...I focused on my heartbeat and did the imagery exercises where I placed my mind in the most relaxing place I could think of--down by the lake watching the ducks move slowly across the water. 4:15 came and then 4:25 and my appointment was for 4:30 so I was close to going on to do my "sell." 4:30 came and went and they were still in there, I hated to interrupt, but I began to wonder if I was going to be late and had just assumed that the person in the chair at the end was interviewing. Maybe she was just part of the committee, I thought. I almost opened the door and interrupted them to check when all of a sudden, a man at the back door knocked for me to let him in. He was in a tie and looked professional so I let him in the building. As it turned out, he was on the committee and went inside the room where he told the others I was outside, I guess. Because right after he went in, the main person came out to greet me and tell me it would be just a minute.

Whew, I thought! That was a close one. I almost interrupted an interview session!

Oh, did I forget to mention that on this day it was in the 30's? We had been having 80 degree weather for weeks and on this one day this? My allergies were driving me crazy too--not only was it extremely cold it was very windy and raining to the point of almost sleeting. Now in Texas in April, we don't usually have that kind of weather---that was a bad sign too, I thought. Because of all the weight I have lost, I didn't even have a coat!! Had to drive to the nearest town and go to Burlington's Coat Factory to get a dang coat!! Would have looked stupid to show up without a coat, I thought.

Lessons learned from the interview:
1. Do not let them ever trip me up with the trick question "tell us a little about yourself." From now on I will have a memorized statement ready to go. It will never include anything personal--just set the stage for the interview with my best strengths and accomplishments. It will be to hook them as to why I am perfect for the job.

2. Never interview in the afternoon/evening if I have a choice to do it in the mornings. I'm tired and my energy is waning--they are tired and want to go home. All anyone is thinking about is "what's for dinner."

3. I will have a better response for the "what is your greatest weakness; what is your greatest strength" next time...I have a good greatest strengths answer but need a better answer for my greatest weakness and how I can take measures to improve in that area.

4. Finally, I will be prepared with the "do you have any questions for us" question. I always have a standby I use, but yesterday, it was answered in the main persons response before he got to the end, so I couldn't ask the same question again--I looked silly because I was caught off guard. Next time I will have 3 or 4 ready to pull out and use for that one.

The positives are: in 3 months, I have had 2 interviews. I have a friend who has a similar degree as I do that has been sending in applications since 2010 and has yet to get one single interview. That tells me that my paperwork is catching someone's eye and that my background and experiences are intriguing at least enough to want to know more about me.

I am getting experience in the interviews. Just like yesterday, even though it was a disaster from the start from the way I answered the "tell us a little about yourself question" which open all kinds of cans of worms. I will be prepared next time and this will never happen to me again.

I am not in this alone. All the decisions we have made as a couple are shared and I take 50% responsibility and DH takes 50% responsibility and just because he is retiring and will be getting a monthly retirement check, he is still responsible to contribute to our situation since he is partly responsible for it as well. I will no longer try to shoulder the whole responsibility of our finances and feel guilty because I have failed, gotten older, can't get hired, or whatever. It is causing me great stress and because I feel desperate to get a job, I am applying for jobs that I really don't want just because of the money they pay.

Which brings me to my final point. As part contributor and not responsible for our entire financial situation, I will only be applying for jobs that I would really like to have. They pay much less, but I don't care. I would rather be happy than have the money anyway. After all, DH can make a dollar or two as well. We are after all a team, it's we, us....not just me! I!

So there you have it....poor interview, but great lessons learned. I will be prepared next time and it will be for a job that fits me and that I really want!
Lessons learned!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSILENE 4/13/2013 9:14AM

    So sorry about this interview . Maybe u should turn this around and work for the hr dept and let them be on pins and needles and squiggle in THEIR seats. And you just look pretty and poised.. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MKRETIRED 4/11/2013 9:32PM

  Great story. Best of luck with your future interviews and job search.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SYLPHINPROGRESS 4/11/2013 9:29PM

    Sorry it was so disappointing and stressful. That they kept you waiting for quite a while after your appointment time was poor and, perhaps, deliberate to stress a candidate to see how the candidate presents herself after that. Interviewing with a full committee is also designed to be stressful or, at least, to test how well the person can "dance" in public speaking situations or running meetings (if those are function of the job).

You did learn lessons about what you want as well as handling interviews. And your DH is on your side....an agreement between you seems to be easy to work out.

xoxo

Report Inappropriate Comment


Today I Re-Focus! I don't want to be a FAT LAPBANDER!

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

YOU WOULD THINK THIS IS GREAT!

I have lost almost 100 lbs and most would say that I have done very well with my weight loss.



THE TRUTH!

However, I know the truth. The truth is that I have not met my goal and I've gotten very lazy about watching food portions, times that I eat and I've become complacent and satisfied about where I am at this point in my journey. I weigh exactly the same today as I did 1 year ago. Not good. No changes in measurements--just stagnant!

CHANGE IS COMING SOON!

I know that when I get back to work, after awhile, I will be exhausted just like before and I will spiral out of control if I'm not very careful and mindful of my weight and lifestyle choices. See it's like this.

ONCE YOU GET OUT OF FOCUS, YOU'RE IN DANGER!
You get tired, you have to keep going, so you eat a little something you shouldn't cause you tell yourself it will be ok just this one time. Then you feel worse and your body feels bad cause you didn't fuel it properly and the spiral out-of-control cycle has begun. Before long you stop weighing yourself because you are afraid of the truth--you know you've gained cause your clothes are fitting tighter. But the spiral downward continues. ...you gain 5 and then 10 lbs but the stress of the job is drowning you and there are so many deadlines and responsibilities that you come home after work and fall asleep with no energy--you are exhausted!

Wrong fuel for the body, no exercise, no focus on yourself and before long you've gained another 10 lbs then 20 then 25. You say you will start again with your plan at the break or on vacation only to be more and more depressed about the situation and your failure to keep the weight off.

Then before long you have gained all your weight back over time and failed this time with the lapband too, leading to further depression and sense of failure even with having surgery.

THIS IS MY PLEDGE TO ME!

I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MYSELF!! I AM WORTH IT AND I WILL NOT FAIL!

So see, I must shape up now. I must get serious, I must focus now. I must get back into a strict routine. I have to do it now--today! I don't want to end up as a FAT LAPBANDER. NOT ME!! I REFUSE TO QUIT!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CASE4GRACE 3/5/2013 7:32PM

    AMEN SISTER!! I started to board this same ship recently, and yesterday decided to jump back off. I will swim back to shore if I have to...I refuse to take the slow boat back to my starting weight again. Ever. Period. Not gonna happen!

Thanks for your honesty and transparency!!

Anita

Report Inappropriate Comment
PURESTILLWATER 3/5/2013 7:27PM

    We can do this. I am with you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MERRIKATE 3/5/2013 5:57PM

    So grand to read this today, Paula -- amazing, really. Yesterday, our Writing Workshop assigned us a topic based on daring HONESTY, and I have been mulling over this or that possibility. Till now. YOU have set the compass for me by showing True North right here, and that is a gift of timing and of your candid heart and courageous self-study.

HUGE hugs of thanks ... confess that I was about to sneak an off-plan snack 'just to tide me over' till supper, but not now. I will straighten my spine, lift my chin and take Care of Me by choosing something less convenient but sooooo much more in line with my values.

Adore the way we SPers can so uplift each other, and how it makes no diff to the goodness of this sharing that we need it again and again along the road.

emoticon I mean, WE WILL DO IT.

Fact is, at this instant, I AM doing it, thanks to your blog, and now I can stick to the path with greater commitment than a few minutes ago. YES YES YES!!

emoticon and emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/5/2013 5:58:25 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
SYLPHINPROGRESS 3/5/2013 5:57PM

    Hey, I'm the fat lapbander. I'm so happy that you are recommitting and recalling why you started all of this in the first place. You've gone too far to turn back now. I'm doing my best to get back there with you.

Keep on keepin' on.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHUBRUB3 3/5/2013 3:46PM

    Awesome Blog and Commitment Paula!
I am so proud of you. Of what you have accomplished and what you will accomplish.
You inspire and motivate me, as well as others.

Heres to seconding your pledge.

"I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MYSELF!! I AM WORTH IT AND I WILL NOT FAIL!

So see, I must shape up now. I must get serious, I must focus now. I must get back into a strict routine. I have to do it now--today! I don't want to end up as a FAT LAPBANDER. NOT ME!! I REFUSE TO QUIT!! '

Hugs,
Angela

Report Inappropriate Comment


It all started with just 1 bite.....

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Right now, I am sicker than a dog (have no idea how that phrase was started) and I caused it all by myself.

It never ceases to amaze me after all the information I have learned about Paleo, after 2 years of having the lapband, and after losing almost 100 pounds that I still mess up big time every once in awhile.

It all started with just 1 bite.....

You see I am a food addict and I'm addicted to sugar. Food is my drug of choice and has been for most of my life. All it takes for me to fall off the wagon is just one bite. I know this and do very well most of the time, but if I ignore the rules about eating excess fat, sugar, and salt, then I'm toast. pardon the pun.

It all started with just 1 bite.....

I had just spoken to a friend yesterday afternoon and told her it was ok to eat a little extra carbs when her body needed them for energy. I meant healthy carbs, of course. Because I know better. Yeah, right.

After we finished our conversation, it was dinner time and I hadn't prepared anything for me to eat. I didn't even have any leftovers. My DH did have some canned salmon patties that I had prepared for him and I thought because it was mostly prepared with the foods I allow myself, I would eat just 1 pattie. (He loves canned over fresh, go figure and I haven't gotten him to change yet).

It all started with just 1 bite....

The only difference in the way I cook it for him and myself is that I put bread crumbs in his and I use fresh salmon for mine. For me, I try to never eat bread or wheat or any grains for that matter, and I hardly ever eat anything out of a can, but I thought just a little would be ok. It couldn't be that bad, right?

Wrong.

Just that one bite threw me into a tail spin. First, it was the canned salmon and after I ate it, all I could taste was the salt. It felt as if someone had opened a box of salt and poured it directly into my mouth. I mean it was nasty.

Then this morning, I was still off my usual plan and began to get hungry before my normal lunch time so I decided to eat a little more packaged salmon and had some light mayo.

What the H***!! Why did I do that AGAIN??? Yuck!! the salt--I never knew that stuff had so much salt in it before I quit eating packages and cans.

After I went Primal/Paleo last year and started eating as fresh as possible, I got all that junk out of my system and now even though it made me sick to taste the salt the first time, I ate it anyway! AGAIN!

Then I was really hungry--the cravings were full force at that point and I ate some snackwell cookies my husband has for his snack stash! Double yuck!

Then, I ate a carmel apple that DH had left in the kitchen....what a sugar rush that was. Then, I ate 3 more slices of carmel that i had left over that were from a kit to be used for more carmel apples.

Then I ate some canned soup and canned corn--oh yeah, the whole can of both!

Now I am so sick and feel so dejected about the whole thing. I have managed, with just 1 bite, to completely ruin about a week's worth of progress plus now I have to get all of this sugar out of my system again which will take a while to do.

My body feels like I have just shot sugar and salt straight up into my veins and I feel like I could drink a lake of water. Plus now I am bloated and swollen.


MY TAKE HOME LESSON:
I just can't take 1 bite....it doesn't work that way for me. Maybe other people can eat in moderation but I am a food addict and I must abstain completely. Right now I am kicking myself in the butt for sure. But right after I post this blog, I am going to plan my grocery list and get to the store.

I'll be back on track starting right now.

It will take a few days or weeks to get the sugar out, but I will. You see I have to because this way of eating makes me sick. I don't like the way this type of food makes me feel now. I don't like eating from cans and packages. Eating real food is the only way to feed my body now--no wonder our country is killing itself. It's what most of Americans eat: The Standard American Diet (SAD).

I will probably mess up now and then because I'm not perfect, and there are situations that we can't control sometimes, but I will get right back on track. Why?

It's because I can't stand the taste of salt and sugar anymore! My body can't stand it! .....it has more to do with that then losing weight for me at this point.

Ok, enough.

Now I will pick myself back up and start again. And next time I am tempted to eat something that is not in my plan, I will remember what happened with just 1 bite.

I think I will have a new motto now, when in doubt, don't eat it.

I will feel better tomorrow....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETYOUNGTHING 9/27/2012 5:32AM

    Sounds like you've got a bad case of 'being human'. At least you are aware and that's a great defense right there. Keep on keepin' on and try not to beat yourself up when you mess up; we all do it. Grab hold of the proverbial reins and get back on track. I've come to the conclusion that I will be in this struggle the rest of my life - everyday must consists of discipline, awareness and tracking.

You're doing GREAT!! emoticon Pat emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAKONOLADY 9/15/2012 9:00PM

    thank u 4 sharing!!It helps to get it out in the open!!I think your food choices were way better than mine would be !!Imthe same way with chips/salt!!I can never have just 1 and if I do than on comes the cravings and vicious cycle of feeling hungry all the time!!hugs and u will be back on track in no time--Crystal emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PURESTILLWATER 9/15/2012 12:07PM

    Great blog my friend. It is a good reminder that just like an alcoholic where they can't have just one drink.


Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSILENE 9/14/2012 8:15PM

    Well Paula. I truly am sorry to hear of this. Now you know why I abstain. It is kind of easier that way. Ok, now it is over and tomorrow is another day. RIGHT?????
I want you to to count how many pounds you have lost in the year we are Lapband Rulers,
Count the inches gone, count the sizes you've gone through. That's what you need to think about. Tomorrow is another day.

ITS OK....HUGS MOMMA GROK SAYS ITS OK. LET IT GO. emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MDGARDENGIRL 9/14/2012 7:26AM

    Hugs Paula! I have been there as have many others here. The good news is that you now associate what used to be delicious with "YUCK"!! You're not going to crave it and keep eating it.

Knowledge is power and you have the power. Now forgive yourself and move on!

xoxoxo Marg

Report Inappropriate Comment
ADELE66 9/14/2012 3:38AM

    When I gave up smoking - one of the things that really helped me was to remember what the first cigarette after a long haul flight used to taste like - it was VILE! Every time I craved a cigarette, I tried to visualise that experience, tasting the cigarette in my mouth, and remembering my disappointment that it didn't match my expectation.

Perhaps you can convert this experience into a really positive one. Try and store that feeling you have now - not the guilt - just how nasty that food tasted and how horrible it made you feel. Really concentrate on it, and the next time you get an urge, focus on that recalled memory.

I wish you very well - and thank you for sharing your story.

Adele

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHUBRUB3 9/13/2012 11:39PM

    Hugs to you my dear friend Paula. I am lending you a hand to pick yourself up and a shoulder to cry on. All will be well and you will be even better for it tomorrow.
Love,
Angela

Report Inappropriate Comment
BBAMMOM 9/13/2012 10:30PM

    I've been where you are, most of us have. The difference is that now we're able to stop, think, reflect, and move on. In the old days, our "binge" would have probably lasted a lot longer than yours did, and would probably have included a lot worse stuff!

Be kind to yourself and move on.

Love ya!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CASE4GRACE 9/13/2012 10:13PM

    I am so sorry to hear that you are so miserable. I have been there myself before, and I know I likely will be again. You are so wise to have the insight that you do, and I know you will get back on track again quickly. Sending you a hug.
emoticon emoticon emoticon


Report Inappropriate Comment
MERRIKATE 9/13/2012 10:01PM

    "Welcome to the Human Race" again, Love -- you are still a member of our special 'sorority' of compulsive overeaters whose food addictions truly are just that -- as OA always says, "One bite is one too many and a thousand aren't enough (borrowed from AA, of course)."

One of the magnificent features of being an honest recovering addict includes the HONESTY you share here, and the WILLINGNESS to start over immediately. We learn and learn and learn, over and over, one dang day at a time. You are quick to recognize that beating yourself up accomplishes next to nothing good. A self-hug and a brave step forward -- that what you're showing us with this blunt story of stepping off the healthy path. All that icky salt and other yuckiness -- reading your words reminds me so powerfully how that goes and how long it takes me to get re-tuned to eating wisely.

Almost (!) every time I slip like this, though, I find it's a bit faster to get back on track -- with renewed commitment. Back on the familiar Good Path again, YES!! The lessons have to be repeated for me ... and I do learn 'em a tad more quickly (usually) every time. May it always be so. Perfection is not in it, ever.

Seems to me you're still a strong model member of our sorority, my Dear Friend!!

THANKS for this wonderful blog -- love and admire you much!

emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/13/2012 10:05:18 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBBIEANNE1124 9/13/2012 7:49PM

    You will feel much better tomorrow once you've moved on.

what would do me in is the corn. that's a no no

Report Inappropriate Comment


Bypass Patient said to me 3 years Post Surgery...

Saturday, September 01, 2012

I am gaining all my weight back! I still can’t get the hang of this weight-loss thing!” I went to the football game last night and saw a friend who lost 100 lbs in 1 year after having bypass surgery and is now gaining her weight back just 2 years later.

She is depressed, confused, deflated, and can’t believe it is happening again and eventually she will probably be included in the large group of people who fail to get to, and maintain, a healthy weight with Weight Loss Surgery.

I also have lapband friends who have not lost any weight with their bands at all and who are still on the yo-yo dieting system of losing a pound or two or five, maybe, and then gaining back eight. They are constantly changing from diet to diet and eating out all the time and they really haven’t changed their old ways of doing things since surgery. And just like my friend above, “They still can’t get the hang of the weight-loss thing either.”

My own primary care physician said to me when I first started thinking about surgery and said, “I have seen many of my patients do very well with the lapband and kept their weight off but then I have a male friend who got the lapband and lost 200 lbs at first, but he stopped doing the work he needed to do and started putting stuff like chicken fried steak and gravy in a blender and drinking it! He gained back 250 lbs!! My Dr. told me this example so that I would know full well that I would have to be willing to do the work and change my lifestyle or having surgery wouldn’t work for me either.

I thought to myslef: OMG! CFS with gravy in a blender!! Are you freaking kidding me? Why would you continue to do things the old way that got you fat in the first place after having surgery?

Most people who have surgery are doing it because they think they don't have any other choice and this is the last chance of living a thin healthy life. I was one of them.... I was so fat at 265 and had lost a million pounds and gained a million plus more back over 40 years, that I had given up the hope completely and at 5'2" I was on my way to 300 lbs and death.

And so, here I rant and shout to myself and others for us to wake up!--It makes me very sad that even with having surgery and being laid out on a table and having a Dr. cut your insides out and re-route your innards or having a band unnaturally placed around your stomach with a tube running to a port that can be filled with fluid like a car that gets gas, some people have not been successful. WHY…?

It’s NOT the surgery that is going to take or keep the weight off people!! Initially the band just forces us to re-learn new habits. After a while, we are expected to learn, follow the rules, and change.

If we don’t change our stress levels, eating and exercise choices, and overall personal lifestyle choices, we will be right back into the same boat that we were in before surgery. OBESE!

The surgery is a tool to help us but We HAVE TO CHANGE! It is not a "magic pill or magic wand." WE HAVE TO CHANGE.

If I give up or diminish my resolve to lose weight by saying passive things like “I’ve done the best I could” when in reality I have not, then I don’t have a right to complain that my surgery didn’t work.

It wasn’t the surgery that didn’t work—we didn’t do our part and use our tool. Who says that having wls is taking the easy way out? It’s NOT an easy way out—we still have to do the same work as everyone else who wants to get healthy. It is just a tool to help us do the hard work, that’s all it is.

If you don't lose weight with WLS then maybe you need to go back and evaluate what YOU are doing that needs to CHANGE. At least go back and follow the basic guidelines you were given post-surgery and start again. Get that spark back; don’t just lie down and say, Oh Well, it is what it is…..fight back!

It’s your life that we’re talking about here! Don’t settle for mediocrity. Achieve your goals—all of them. You CAN do it! Don’t give up! And for heaven’s sake change your lifestyle--don’t become a statistic of the wls failures.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KLOE23 9/7/2012 3:05PM

    AWESOME and very well put! These are all things that people need to be reminded of on their journey...not matter what weight loss journey they are on. It's all about you and how you chose to react to the situation. Thanks for sharing this. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PLMITCH 9/3/2012 5:53AM

    AMEN!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEWHITE1109 9/2/2012 2:16PM

    FANTASTIC BLOG!!!! I have to learn over and over...everyday, that living at a healthy weight is about living a healthy lifestyle. Eating healthy food in the correct portions, and staying active with exercise. The solution is permanent behavioral change.

I so understand the struggles of the person who put a CFS in the blender...I hadn't thought of that idea, but with my history of food addiction and compulsive eating, I certainly wouldn't put it past me to do the same thing when I was having a bad day!

Addiction to food is a real and deadly disease. I know that everyone who has bariatric surgery is not necessarily suffering from the disease of food addiction, but many of us are, and the steps to recovery require a willingness to get really honest, ask for help, and use the tools of recovery on a daily, lifelong basis!

Thank you for sharing this blog Paula - I feel sure it will help alot of people who read it! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/2/2012 2:18:06 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
DRB13_1 9/1/2012 10:02PM

    wishing you and anyone who did have WLS all the best...
thanks for your perspective, helps me affirm to keep trying and not put WLS on my list

Report Inappropriate Comment
PURESTILLWATER 9/1/2012 6:24PM

    Amen sis. So well said. It is a tool and nothing more. You have to work your tool. And BTW, CFS in a blender. Super gross thought. Yuck!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PJC19671 9/1/2012 1:03PM

    Very well said blog. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DAWNDMOORE40 9/1/2012 12:07PM

    You said it! In everything we do regarding weight loss, you have to be able to change your ways or nothing is going to work! It's that way with any addiction! If you aren't willing to have the ability to believe in yourself as a person, then you need to work on changing what you don't like inside before you can change your body! I hold stead fast to the truth that God made us! He wants us to take care of our bodies! I'm not saying in any way that I am perfect, but I do my best! I wake up with the attitude I need to workout and have been that way for years! I wake up believing I can eat my best, but don't always do that. I just have to committ to it! We are all here on this site for a common purpose and we help each other, but you have to do the work too! Amen and thanks for sharing! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CASE4GRACE 9/1/2012 12:01PM

    YES, YES...A MILLION TIMES YES!!!!! This was stated perfectly. I wish that everyone who has already had or is considering weight loss surgery could read this. Thank you Paula for sharing this blog. You are the best!

Anita

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHUBRUB3 9/1/2012 11:38AM

    HERE HERE!!!!
Fantastic words of advice!
Enough to make anyone sit up and listen, whether they had WLS or not.
Stand up & be heard.
BE ACCOUNTABLE!!!
Awesome Paula!
Hugs
Angela

Report Inappropriate Comment
MDGARDENGIRL 9/1/2012 11:13AM

    WOW !!! Said only the way you can say it Paula!!! This can be said for anyone who chooses a specific diet and loses 100lbs and gains it back. If your commitment isn't to a better life, then you aren't going to make it. My surgeon told me, "I can fix your stomach. I can't fix your head."

Slow and steady wins the race.

This isn't a race..... it's LIFE!!

Awesome Blog GF!

Love you..... Marg

Report Inappropriate Comment
SILLYLILME 9/1/2012 11:06AM

  Nothing worth having is easy. I too have seen what you have and unless people get their eating habits under control NO surgery is going to help them. It's not a diet or a quick fix, it's a lifestyle change.

Report Inappropriate Comment


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Last Page