Thursday, August 01, 2013
On Tuesday I took a half-hour long walk on my lunch break. My back was killing me so I didn't do more, but it was nice to get a little exercise on a beautiful day. Yesterday I took the day off from exercise as I had homework. I slept poorly last night- Spencer kept waking up throughout the night and that means so did I.
I've been doing ok. Not perfect, but definitely being more mindful. I told Sam I want to lose 10 pounds in August, she looked at me like I was crazy. If we didn't snack so much at work it wouldn't be a problem! Definitely need to come up with some solutions for the mindless snacking. I've not been doing terribly at home in the evenings- last night I had a few pieces of pork tenderloin (they are small) for dinner, a few strawberries, and some cheese... after dinner I snacked on a cookie my mom made and some roasted chick peas. Nothing after dinner on Monday or Tuesday, and dinner is usually around 5:45 for me. It's just at work, I think due to boredom that my snacking is getting the better of me. Gum has lost its appeal. Maybe I should get some sugar-free hard candies.
Anyway, definitely a coffee kind of morning. Planning to exercises tonight, might not get to the gym but will do fitness videos. And possibly another walk on lunch if it's not raining, as I have nothing to do today.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Ughhh. I've been awake since 4:30! So drowsy. And I can't sleep in because I need to make lunch for both Spencer and myself.
Yesterday I didn't go to the gym but I did 35 minutes of fitness videos OnDemand. Ate pretty well with the exception of a gelati from Rita's Water Ice that Sam bought me (Sam is my assistant at work).
My plan had been to wake up early today around 5:45 (usually up at 6) and do some arm stuff, but since I've been tossing and turning the past hour and a half trying to sleep, I vetoed that. Will do it after work!
Happy Tuesday all.
Monday, July 29, 2013
I HAVE to get on track. I just feel so awful about myself. This week my goals are small and simple- eat well, and work out.
By eating well I mean not snacking at work (unless of course I brought the snack with me) and being mindful of what I eat all day long. I tend to slip in the evenings. I do need to refocus my efforts with the Abs Diet. If I'm not counting calories or sticking to a specific plan, I'm not accountable.
I'm going to the gym at least three nights this week (more if I can)- no excuses, no regrets. I am going to resume my T-Tapp workouts and start doing some of the simple strength training exercises in the Abs Diet book. I also discovered that OnDemand has a bunch of free workout videos I can do that vary in length, so I might look into some of those too.
I need to make this a priority in my life. I absolutely hate my shape, how I look naked, how I look clothed, how things fit (or don't fit) me... and I'm sick of it. I can eat salad until the earth stops rotating on its axis, but if I don't start exercising I'm not going to change my body in the way I want. So, end of story, I'm going to stop being lazy, step away from the computer, and just carve out time for myself every day to work towards my goals.
I do need to start blogging again daily. It does help me. And, I think journaling my food is a must even if I'm not counting calories. So, I will implement those changes this week too.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
So, last night my best friend (I'm just going to start referring to her by name since I mention her a lot, lol) D and I went out to the movies. We saw R.I.P.D which was ridiculous but funny. Loved Jeff Bridges in it- so silly. Anyway, it was a pretty late showing and afterwards she asked if I'd want to stop by this place called Steam Pub that she likes because some of her friends were there. I said sure, even though I'm not a club kind of person, nor am I all that social. I knew she wanted to go and she was driving so I didn't mind. Anyway, the place is okay, I went once before for her birthday... it's in a building that looks like a train, and it's a bar but they have an area for dancing and a decent menu. Anyway, there was of course a DJ...
I am not a dancer. I am not social. I don't like drunk people, I don't like men grinding all over me. Etc. BUT D's friends, a girl and a guy, were nice enough- the guy kept buying us drinks and trying to get me to dance with him. FINALLY I gave in because it was just easier than putting up my normal "don't come near me" wall. And I actually did have a good time. At one point D and the girl (Drea) went to the dance floor and left the guy (Chris) and I at the table. Right by us, a bunch of guys were dancing and they were so good! D came back after dancing with a few of them, and told me "They think you're beautiful!" so, that was kind of nice to hear. Anyway, they started this dance circle and we ended up watching them dance, then they found an empty beer bottle and started using it to play Spin the Bottle- but whomever the bottle landed on had to go dance in the circle. A lot of people joined in, it was a lot of fun, and they were such good dancers! I had fun just watching, D went in and did her thing in the circle- she loves to dance. Once the circle broke up a guy that was across from us tried to get me to dance with him, but I declined... I felt sort of like we were with Chris and Drea so dancing with them was alright. But yeah... Chris kept telling me that I needed to break out of my shell and he asked if I'd go back with D sometime so I agreed.
Because he's right- I do put up walls around strangers, for no real reason. So I don't think I'm sexy or pretty- guys obviously do, and chances are I'll never see any of those people again so if I go out and have fun dancing poorly, who cares? So, as I work on getting into better shape I'm also going to work on not being such a wet blanket. Because it feels awkward to be the one standing on the sidelines when everyone else is having fun, or not talking to people just because I don't know them. I'm certainly not trying to "meet" someone but there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting to know people. Just because they're at a bar doesn't mean they're all bad- after all, I go to bars, right?
So, last night was a lot of fun. I ended up staying up until about 5 in the morning- needless to say I've been kinda lazy today. Got a lot of cleaning done and have been watching movies most of the afternoon and evening because my parents are out. My mother is mad at me and EMAILED me about it, so I sent her a snarky one in return. They went out and didn't even say goodbye to me. I'm so sick of these stupid little rants my mother gets on and her immaturity in just addressing issues- no wonder I suck at communicating healthily! I learned from her.
Anyway, I didn't eat well yesterday or today, but I'm going to do some menu planning and possibly accompany my mom to the grocery store tomorrow if she's pulled the stick out of her bum by morning, and get back on track. My coworker (my assistant in my room) Samantha also wants to start eating healthier so we are going to try to keep each other on track at work. She's like a size 4 so I really don't have much sympathy for her, but I guess she used to be fitter, and, everyone is entitled to body image issues. lol.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
I just can't seem to shake the doldrums lately. It's been wicked hot, I'm tired all the time, I cannot stop thinking about Mike- literally everything makes me think of him. Name a topic. I bet in some way I can relate it to him! It's pathetic. It's definitely over. But I'm struggling to let go. I KNOW this is a time I should be focusing on myself. Rebuilding my family unit, figuring out how to proceed with the situation with Joe, getting healthier... but I cannot get my mind off this one man who doesn't want me. Maybe it's true what they say... we want things the most when we cannot have them (did I already say something to this affect in another blog? Seems redundant...)
I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow with my best friend. Had planned to go tonight but I've been doing stuff for work and my back is hurting... plus it's just hot and I'm tired. I didn't eat much today, but what I dd eat wasn't horrible...
Anyway. Just wanted to blog for the day. Nothing new to say, really.
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