Wednesday, January 02, 2013
So, today went swimmingly, I think. I ate well, got in a good 30 minutes on the elliptical (machine read 320 calories) and got some homework done! Drank just about 3 liters of water too and I'm not asleep yet so I'll be finishing up my bottle before bed.
I have a calorie-related question. For dinner, I made a bunch of roasted veggies and had about 1 1/2 cups of cooked veg with some beef roast (Hormel microwavable- DELISH). I used up about a head of cauliflower (minus some browned icky bits, it was kind of old), 1 smallish red pepper, a stalk of celery, and about half a pack of sliced mushrooms. I just sprayed the pan and then the veggies with a bit of Pam and sprinkled them with garlic salt. I weighed the meat so I know the info for that aspect because of the packaging, but I'm really not sure what to count the veggies as. I'd like to tally out my day and see where I stand, but it's tough without knowing how to calculate the veggies.
I had one full cup left, so I ate about half with dinner. My question is, how do I go about figuring out a semi-accurate calorie count for the veggies? It was mostly cauliflower. Should I just count for 1 1/2 cups of cauliflower florets and not worry about the pepper, celery, and mushrooms? I know they're all relatively low in calories. What say you, Sparkies?
Even after a yummy dinner (so yummy the DOG ATE THE MEAT OFF MY PLATE), I've been hungry this evening. I had a Special K snack (100 calories) and finally caved to the tummy growling at me and made a smoothie with 1 c. almond milk, 1/2 an avocado, a cup of mixed fruit (mango and berries), a kiwi, and 1 tablespoon of chia seeds. It was yummy, but very thick and had sort of a weird tang to it (I think it was the berries). Filled me up though!
I love chia seeds. I am going to put them on everything. They are super filling or at least, I feel more full after consuming them. I just wish I had a mortar and pestle or something I could grind them with, since they are, well, seeds. You should look them up if you haven't heard of them! I've been on a smoothie kick and tossing in a tablespoon of them just seems to boost the full factor. I even had them on Special K cereal yesterday. Heh.
Anyway, time for me to tidy the living room since the kids trashed it. Then more Prison Break and some casual arm exercises with my light weights.
Have a super evening, Sparkers!
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Ok, I'm a bit behind on my daily updates. Friday was okay. I did go to the gym and count calories for most of the day. The only thing I didn't really count was Starbucks, because I was too lazy to check online for the NI. I had an apple cider and a cookie. Acknowledged that the calories were probably fairly high, and moved on. Enjoyed some time out with friends on Friday night (at Starbucks).
Yesterday was my baby's 2nd birthday!! I cannot believe it. I honestly feel like it was yesterday that I found out I was even pregnant. I was horrified and so upset that day, I never wanted kids, least of all at 23 and unmarried. Now, I would never change a thing. I cannot imagine loving anyone the way I love my son, I adore him, he is the sun that my world revolves around. Being his mother is the best gift that life has ever bestowed upon me.
And, after a day free of calorie-counting yesterday, I am even more determined today to get to a healthy weight and live a fit, active, and healthy life. My son deserves a mother who is healthy, energetic, and happy, and I owe it to him to teach him how to be healthy. Childhood obesity is my worst fear for my children, even though they're not, currently, at risk. Chloe is the size of a 2 year old, she is just very petite, as her mother is. Spencer is totally within the normal range for his age- just about middle of the road. Perfection. And Joe and I are not morbidly obese nor do we follow insanely unhealthy habits. However, it's still a concern. I never want my children to experience the stigmas I felt as a somewhat chubby child. Never want them to have to sit in a high school classroom thinking "I'm the biggest girl in class." Never want them to feel like the "fat friend."
I still feel these stigmas. I still compare myself to others. I still feel like the ugly duckling in a room full of swans. I missed so many experiences because the emotions attached to my weight held me back. Didn't date as much as I could, even though there was interest, because of my weight. Didn't take as many pictures of times I wish I could remember, because I didn't want photographic proof of my weight. Haven't laughed, loved, or lived as much as I could have because of my weight. Am a worse wife and mother because I have such a negative outlook on life- because of my weight. When I think of my life, I don't see any accomplishments. I don't feel like a married, 26 year old mother with a respected lead position at work. I feel like a child, lost at sea, and desperately hoping for a savior.
I need to be my own savior. I cannot get back the years or experiences I have lost or missed. But I can make sure that I do not miss any more. Weight is just a number, but it's a number that has defined me, and I don't want that life anymore. I'm not saying I'm not going to weigh myself, or let that number keep me accountable. I'll never be someone who throws the scale away. I need the numbers to anchor me to my reality- to when I've gained, and lost. But I won't let it define me. I am done.
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