Monday, November 26, 2012
so, today I'm not focusing too much on my diet aside from the fact that it is mostly low-carb and all healthy. I packed a small lunch with a few snacks. Have two packs of gum in my bag to help staunch the craving to eat when I'm not actually hungry, which I've found I do often. My trigger is if other people are eating, I want to eat. I need to break that habit in a big way. I'm not saying it will happen overnight, but it's something I'm going to focus on.
My main plan this week is to get back into the gym and really kick ass. I've lost so much of the pride I felt in myself after continuously working out every day, and I want that feeling back because it kept me going. This week my plan is cardio during every lunch break, and M/W/F after work for strength training too. Last time I did strength training (on Tuesday) I didn't keep track of how much weight I was using, so I couldn't track it in my fitness log. I think I'll try to use my phone's memo pad to keep track today. Or I could just bring a little pad of paper and a pen with me.
Anyway, shooting for 4 liters again today! Didn't come close yesterday...maybe drank 2. Oh well. Today is a new day and my final start!
Mini goal is to weigh 185 by Christmas. Roughly 10 lbs...maybe a little more after this weekend! I can do it.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
I went through and cleaned out my friends' list here. Too many people that are no longer active, and sorry, that's not what I need. I have a hard time keeping my momentum going as it is. I need to start using my friends' list as a way of keeping in touch with those that still do use the site frequently. I'm setting a mini goal for myself to spend some time each week touching base with my SparkFriends. So often I add someone because they added me, and never interact with them. SparkPeople is a valuable source of advice, inspiration, motivation, and learning resources, and I need to be a more active part in this community if I want to succeed, since doing it on my own has proved to be unsuccessful.
I have eaten entirely too much in the past four days that wasn't healthy. Even though I've gained less than a pound as of yesterday, I'm starting to feel the affects of such poor diet choices. Today I'm going to focus on getting back onto a healthy diet. I'm not fasting, persay, but am planning to limit my food intake and really up my water intake- shooting for 4 liters today! I don't drink nearly enough on the weekends or in the evenings so it will be a challenge. And when I do eat it will be mostly veggies, today. I just feel the need to have a day that is free of so much processed and heavy foods.
this weekend I spent some time cleaning out the kids' toy boxes and seeing what we can get rid of. on my plan for today is to go through their clothes and see what can be donated. We have too much stuff and with Christmas coming they'll be getting even more... I've made arrangements to donate some things to a family in need next weekend, which feels nice. Usually I just drop stuff off in the clothing drop-box at work, but it feels nice to have a face-to-face connection. I'm planning to go through our kitchen as well to see what can get tossed or given away. We already have a big bag of clothes from Joe and my closet that we're donating, too.
Sometimes I complain that I don't have enough, and want more, want better for myself and my family- but it's on weekends like this when I'm getting rid of so much that we don't use that I really realize how fortunate we are. Yes, I want my own home and to stop renting. Yes, I want that home to be bigger than a trailer and I want enough space so that if we have extra stuff, we can store it without worry. BUT, I'm fine until those things happen.
Something else I've been considering is changing my major. I really, really want to be a grief counselor for children who have lost a parent or been through some sort of trauma, so right now I'm working towards a degree in Psychology. BUT that job is so specific that it seems unlikely that I'll find a position doing exactly what I want. Furthermore, when we do move out of NH it'll be when we have finished our degrees and can find jobs, and it seems like wanting to do something that specific will really hinder where we can move to. I've been toying with the idea of just going for a two-year certification; dental hygiene or an LNA or something, so that I might have better luck finding a job when we do move. Or maybe learning to do medical billing and coding. Something that I can do anywhere. And then I can continue working towards my goals of being a counselor.
Another downside of wanting to become a counselor is that I've lost so much compassion in recent years...I've become so much more hardened to everything and everyone around me (except my son). I don't even know if I'd be a good counselor because... at this point I've lost a lot of faith in people and humanity. Anyway... getting off the point now.
The main point is that changes are coming... yes, indeed they are.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Wednesdsay and yesterday were not diet days, but that's okay seeing as it was a holiday... back on track for today. Yesterday's dinner was actually not that unhealthy and we only have chicken leftovers and some potatoes that I will save for the kids who love them. I
m getting back on lower-carb. Tomorrow I have a dinner with friends at my fave mexican restaurant. really want taco salad.... might just have to be another splurge. I haven't decided.
Anyway. time to do math homework before venturing to town later this morning for an oil change appointment and possibly some shopping IF the shopping center we'll be in isn't obscenely crowded.
Happy Black Friday, all!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
and two pounds down this morning from yesterday's weight! Yippee. I want to do South Beach but am not quite well enough stocked with groceries right now to dive in fully, but I figured I could get a start by trying to stick to a lower carb menu.
Yesterday I had such yummy food... a tasty little lunch salad, lots of veggies, some greek yogurt (which did have fruit), and a huge salad for dinner that might not have been entirely low-carb; it had 85% lean ground beef with a bit of fajita seasoning, chick peas (more than 1/2 cup lol), black olives, fat-free cheese, and salsa on top. So yummmmmy. And really filling. I also snacked on a few spoonfuls of peanut butter (off a toddler spoon because that's the one Chloe brought me...but it was a good portioning aid lol) and half a 100 Calorie pack of almonds. Two bites of Spencer's Fiber One bar was dessert. For breakfast I did cheat a bit and had a Jimmy Dean Delights sandwich. Drank a ton of water (close to 3 L) and only one cup of coffee with 1/4 c. 2% milk yesterday too.
I did this weird elliptical/stair stepper machine yesterday; I call it the bouncy elliptical, lol. My legs were so sore after. It's trickier than the regular elliptical to maintain a consistent stride. Burnt 344 calories in the gym and on our walk yesterday. Today I'm doing strength training. There's this one machine that targets triceps that I want to try. Plus my legs are my most fat, least muscley body part so I really want to focus on them when I strength train.
off to get ready for work and feeling positive. I can have another awesome day. PS- anyone have a Fitbit?!? I'm thinking I want one for Christmas from Joe but not sure. Our budget for each other is $100 not counting little stocking stuffers and I saw that they start at around $60. I just want to make sure I'd use it all the time so I wanted opinions from people who have them...
Monday, November 19, 2012
My weight yesterday was not something I'm proud of. I've basically gained back the 5 pounds I'd lost a month or so ago. I just haven't cared. Joe and I did go to the gym for some serious strength training on Saturday- we're aiming for 3 days a week of strength training either together or on our own. I'm still going to go to the gym on my lunch breaks for cardio as well.
I'm not happy with myself for gaining, but I think part of the reason that I'm failing is because I'm putting so much pressure on myself. I'm trying so hard to be perfect that one little slip derails me completely. I need to stop because honestly, I'm human, and I'm far from perfect.
Thanksgiving is on Thursday...we don't do much. Since Joe and I moved to NH our tradition has been to have a simple chicken dinner (neither of us are wild about turkey) and he watches football. I don't mind. This will be our third Thanksgiving in NH which is crazy... time is flying. Our fourth one together. I am thankful for our time together and making new traditions. :) Anyway, I have Thursday off obviously and Friday as well so I'm going to do my best to stick to a healthy plan on the days I'm not working.
I'd like to start doing South Beach because in the past, it has worked for me. But I need to do a major grocery shop first so it won't be happening until December. Until then I'm going to count calories and just try my best to not let myself get so far off track that I give up.
Starting is easy for me, but it's keeping up the habit for long enough to make lasting changes that I struggle so much with. Now is really an ideal time because we're not going anywhere for Christmas this year, either. Not a lot of temptation around when we're just having low-key and somewhat healthy meals. Plus, it would be so nice to start the new year a little lighter...
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