Wednesday, July 25, 2012
I'm so uninterested by the idea of counting calories again because it's such work, but it's really the only thing that works for me. I've got to accept this and just start doing it so I can start seeing some weight disappear.
I'm going to combine some of the simple diet tactics into my diet plan though; I like the ready-made shakes in the morning and I actually really enjoy having an entree with some added veggies for lunch; simple, filling, and easy to control portion size. I just need more variety, the restrictions that TSD comes with make it almost impossible for me to not stray. I like SNACKS, not just fruits and veggies. I'm sorry, but when you're craving a piece of cheese, freggies just don't cut it.
anyway, I'll probably start counting calories tomorrow. right now, I need to get get the baby up because he's crying. :( Have a great Wednesday everyone!
Monday, July 23, 2012
first: this week I'm planning to do the simple diet as we are low on groceries but I still have shakes and meals and frozen veggies. it makes the most sense. I am getting back into the gym and starting up my couch to 5K training today again as well. I'm actually really looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. I've been so disappointed in myself lately and I know I can do better.
The weekend was good, but busy. It is hard traveling with the kids, especially eating out every day- Spencer gets sooo naughty. And Chloe was totally spoiled by Grammy and acted like a brat most of the trip- at one place (Yankee Candle) she refused to even hold Joe's hand. Oh well. It was nice to see my parents and do something different. Magic Wings, the butterfly garden, was really neat and we also stopped at this little hole-in-the-wall Rock and Fossil shop, and in the backyard there was this big dinosaur setup. It was fun.
Anyway...I have to go to work today and feign happiness for a coworker of mine who is pregnant. I do not support teen pregnancy at all (she just turned 18) and she is NOT in a position to have a child- she doesn't work full time, her parents just kicked her out of her house so she's living with her boyfriend, she isn't even enrolled in college yet, etc...
Yes, I think she'll be a good mom. In a few years. Sorry if this offends anyone, but I simply don't think kids should be having kids.
It wouldn't be such a challenge except she works in my room...so I'm going to be around her every day. And her pregnancy isn't something I can very well ignore. I'm not going to bring it up, but, if she asks me how I feel about it I'm going to be honest.
Her sister got pregnant at 15 and she has always said she didn't want kids young, so I'm not sure what's going on in her head now. I guess she's just happy she made it to "adulthood."
ANYWAY. Time to get ready for work. yay. I wish I could have another weekend to relax from the one that just ended.
Oh, and I'm reading this book called Thrall... young adult fantasy I guess would be the genre... I got it as a free download from Amazon and it's much better than most of the other free downloads I've gotten. Well-written, captivating, and an interesting and unique storyline... looking forward to reading at the gym today!!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
everything has been ridiculous lately. Joe and I are fine, but I've been given the complete runaround by everyone I contact about this whole false statement business. Can't get through to the trooper I spoke with originally, left 3 messages. Was told I can only speak to him. The court told me to call Joe's public defender. She told me that she couldn't give me advice since she doesn't represent me and that since getting a public defender would be a conflict of interest, I'd need a private attorney. Someone from victim services or something called me, I explained the situation to her via voicemail. Have yet to hear back.
It's so frustrating. I just want this over with. If I'm taking the bullet I don't want to be staring down the barrel of the gun for the next few weeks waiting for someone to pull the trigger- I just want to get it over with NOW.
My diet has suffered. I am not in the right frame of mind for losing weight. My parents are visiting and taking us to Mass. this weekend...I'll try to get refocused on Monday after our weekend away. It's been so hot, I'm so tired... I just want to run away from NH and everything that's weighing me down and escape. But, sadly, one can't escape from life...
enough with the emo-ness. i'm off to get ready for work. Joe didn't wake up with me this morning and it's lonely... haven't been awake by myself in the morning in a long time. Spencer slept in my bed so I slept poorly; he kept rolling closer to me so I was just laying in a tiny little space. He's so sweet when he sleeps, and he'd had a night terror, so we let him lay in our bed- for some reason he never has a bad night when he does. But, I'll be feeling sore all day probably from sleeping wrong.
Blah... I'm so depressing, and probably heading down the hill to depressed.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Life has been... stressful. Joe is home, which is wonderful, but we're constantly looking over our shoulders for state troopers to nail him on any little thing. The state wants to press charges, which could land him in jail. The best way for us to avoid that is for me to recant my statement, which would mean a misdemeanor for me. I've already contacted the trooper I spoke to on Wednesday and left a message with him saying I wanted to go down to the barracks and file a new report, but haven't heard back (I called on Friday evening) so I'm going to phone again today. I would rather have a misdemeanor on my otherwise clean record than have Joe in jail for 3-12 months.
We have also agreed that Joe is going to seek help for his drinking; he is going on Wednesday to a substance abuse evaluation and they will point him in the right direction as far as help goes. And we are going to go to marriage counseling to try to learn more efficient and healthy ways to deal with our problems and with each other.
The weekend was pretty good. On Saturday I had a yard sale with friends...made $40 bucks and donated everything I didn't sell to the Salvation Army (they got a ton of kids' clothes!). My friend Diana came over to babysit for us and Joe and I went out to dinner, a relaxing drive through one of the neighboring towns, and played mini-golf. It was our first time being out without Spencer since he was born aside from one time when my parents watched him for a few hours so we could do some shopping over our Christmas stay with them. It was nice to reconnect with each other without the kids.
Yesterday morning we took the kids to the lake for about 40 minutes, they love the water, but Spencer is fearless...he needs a float or something because he will just walk way out into deep water and go under. Luckily Joe stayed near him. Then they napped and I got some cleaning done. Chloe and I went to the store and bought some storage bins (decorative ones) for our bathroom towels- they have lids so now the cat can't lay on the towels and get them all covered in fur or cat puke. I bought the only two they had, I'll have to check back in a week or so, I would like one more.
Today I'm getting back on a diet and exercise plan since that basically has gone downhill since Wednesday night. I'm going to try low-carb for a week and see what happens, then my parents visit this coming weekend so I'll just have to try for healthy choices when we eat out with them. Today I hope to resume my C25K training, my ankle has been hurting but I should be fine once I'm in sneakers.
I appreciate all the positive and thoughtful comments left on my previous blog(s). I'm sorry I haven't been around much to thank people personally, but, thank you!
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