Friday, November 18, 2011
I have gotten so lost the past few months! My depression reached an all-time high as our finances took dip after dip. Everything we got was a denial...I was denied job after job, my husband was denied disability and compensation, our application for home loan modification was denied....I fell into a pit and I could not get out. I even stopped going outdoors for fun and I stopped painting. In short, I got really lost. I would sit on the couch and zone out. I think I would be looking at the TV but seeing nothing. The worst part is, I knew exactly what I was doing...and I knew the depression was pushing me down even further, but I felt powerless to stop it.
Things are starting to turn around now. Against all odds we were able to keep our home, we qualified for unemployment, my husband just starting receiving disability payments, and our worker's compensation is processing. Just today we went out looking for a new couch, that's how good things are!
I'm just so thankful to God for carrying us through.
So now it's time to GET OUT OF THAT PIT. No more feeling sorry for myself...no more zoning out. Time to buy a new bathroom scale. Time to take it step by step until I'm reaching upwards again.
I revised my goal so that I will reach my goal weight by March of 2013. This way I can eat up to 1900 calories a day, for now, until I get back into the swing of things, then I may consider dropping that down a bit.
For now I'm off to do the Wii Fit and get my jiggly butt moving. More exercise means less depression.
We can do this!