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Another day gone awry

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I was supposed to be off work today. My plan was to get back into the gym when it was quiet, to ease into it. Well, at 7:30am work called and could I come in. So I did. And the gym was left at the wayside, yet again. I know I will complete my task/goal for the week of getting there once, perhaps tomorrow. It's frustrating. Anyway, I did dance around for 25 minutes-that is something I guess. I didn't go for a walk like I planned. I was even wearing proper shoes. I am frustrated with myself. I want to become the person I dream of, but something holds me back. Fear maybe. Fear of success more than failure I think.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSBLANK913 4/3/2007 9:38PM

    I feel for you, and just wanted to tell you to keep your chin up, and the longer you stick with it, the easier it will become!!

The quote that has kept me going the last week is "Fake it til you make it!" which is something Dr. Phil always says, but that's really what I've been doing. If someone came to my house and overheard me, they would think I was crazy, but I literally tell myself "I'm thirsty, I need water. I love water." And, it's worked so far. The biggest thing for me, though, I think, was making a PUBLIC blog everyday, and putting in there when I mess up for all the SP world to see. I also put in the blog "I forgive myself" because it's something that I've had a hard time with.

I always had a reason before to fail... if my husband wasn't as supportive as I thought he should be, I said "screw it. he doesn't care, why should i?" and I'd quit right away.... but this time, I have made a commitment to myself that no matter what happens, no matter how many bad days I have, I will continue the fight. Because I am worth it. Period.

Wow, okay, I just rambled. Sorry... Just want you to know that YOU ARE WORTH IT, and it will get better and easier.


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MY PERSONAL GOAL for April 1 week

Monday, April 02, 2007

I am going to try not to eat any of the hersheys mini's or peanut butter cups I have left over that I bought last week for the rest of this week. I know I can do it. They will be my Easter treat. Once they are done I am going to try very hard not to give in to temptation and buy them. If I do find myself craving chocolate, as I am sure I shall, I will go a different route and buy 1 chocolate bar, instead of a bag of minis because I seem to have no self control around chocolate whatsoever.


Another step back

Monday, April 02, 2007

April 2, 2007
I went to work today and had a busy day. There is no work tomorrow_I am on call, and who knows when I will get called back again-this week or next. So I stressed, and instead of tying on running shoes (my gym bag was in the trunk of my car), I headed home, doing a detour at the local tim hortons for a box of timbits. They are almost gone. The thought crossed my mind briefly to go for a walk, but I couldn't motivate myself. I decided tomorrow is going to be the day I get back into the gym-during the day it will be less chaotic and I can ease back in. I am excited to get back on the equipment, yet anxious at the same time (people phobia). I am not a lost cause, everyone has moments of backsliding. I am sure I will have others.


IT's Tough

Saturday, March 31, 2007

I am not making great strides to lose the weight i so desperately want to lose. I knew my weight was creeping up, stress over work and junk food helped do that. I want to be the fit, not out of breath after running, healthy looking woman, and not afraid people are always looking at me. I shouldn't be like that because after all, I look at people the same way they look at me-questioning, idealizing. Today I have eaten junk with little exercise. I indoor walked on the spot for about 30 minutes to an upbeat CD, but dont feel like it actually did anything, even though I know it was better then doing nothing at all. Breakfast started good with a scrambled egg and toast and of course milk (it is my caffeine). Lunch consisted of one of those Stouffers Bistros, and supper consisted of 4 tacos, and I couldve eaten more. I had milk then too. Then I popped popcorn, added butter and a diet pepsi. Oh ya, don't forget the chocolate I ate, two hershey miniatures, and three hershey peanut butter miniatures. Giving up chocolate would be hard. It is in the house right now because of Easter but I can't get rid of it. I just need to stop from buying it, or just do single bars once in a while as a treat, not as a stress reliever.


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