Saturday, October 08, 2011
I wrote a blog a year ago called 'I can feel it' in which I was feeling extremely motivated to begin my weightloss journey, and felt unstoppable and like I knew I could do it and that this time it would be different. Well, look what happened - I've been on this journey for just over a year now, and all I have done is maintain my weight, which is very disappointing. I've lost a few kilos, then gained a few kilos, again and again, my weight has been see-sawing up and down. I am the sort of person who doesn't do things in a rush, outside of caring for the family, I don't do a lot in a great hurry and get around to things when I get around to them. But one thing I have been doing over the past year, is gathering information from sources like Sparkpeople articles and particularly Spark blogs, reading health magazines and reading other articles online. Its like I'm a hunter gatherer, I need to have all the appropriate information before I start. I know that is crazy because there is never a perfect time to start, and if we wait around for the perfect moment, it will never happen. But I'm getting there - I'm now taking exercise more seriously, Its Spring here now so the weather is perfect, I've joined a gym, I bought some kitchen scales to measure every ounce and some calorie food reference and food tracking books (since I've never counted calories before). Today my husband took me shopping to buy some working out clothes and a new sports bra so that I can look and feel the part when I exercise. So I feel I'm ready to start over, I have all the tools at my fingertips and no excuses anymore. Plus I have the unwavering support of my husband, always have had, but even moreso now, who is starting to notice my attitude change and is being even more encouraging. He has a lot of drive and just gets out there and goes running and does what he needs to do to be fit and healthy, so he's a good role model for me and doesn't just talk the talk, but walks the walk also. So I'm using his strength and his belief in me, until I fell confident enough that I can do this on my own. Of course not that I will need to do this on my own, but you know what I mean, I won't need to lean on him once I get my groove. So its not a matter of 'if' I get to my goal weight, but 'when' will I get there.
I borrowed this from EMFRAPPIER's blog of 7 October in which she wrote 25 reasons why she is afraid to be fit, and then counter balanced that with 25 reasons why she is determined to be fit. I've modified it to 10 reasons I want to lose weight, because I found it difficult to come up with much more than 10 that were really meaningful to me. Here they are and I hope they might inspire you:
10 reasons why I am afraid to lose weight:
1) because I'm afraid I will put the weight on again
2) because its difficult trying to lose weight
3) what if I don't like myself once the weight is gone
4) what if I don't change on the inside on this journey
5) because the weight loss serves as a great distraction in my life
6) what will I put my focus on once I meet my goal weight
7) My weight is like my security blanket and keeps me safe
8) I'm afraid of having no where to hide
9) Because then I have to start doing all the 'right' things forever to maintain my weight
10) I'm afraid of the expectations that others and myself place on me
10 reasons I am determined to lose weight:
1) So that I can run 5km without stopping
2) So that I wont look so frumpy
3) So that I can wear beautiful clothes again
4) It will give me a huge confidence boost
5) It will be healthy for my mentality
6) If I'm healthy on the inside, it will show on the outside
7) I can start living my life without my weight being an excuse
8) I can be a great role model for my children
9) because I deserve to be admired
10) My family and friends will be proud of me
11) I will be proud of me
okay so there is an extra one at the bottom. But the last one is probably the most important, that I will be proud of me. That to me counts for everything and I think if I am proud of me and believe in me, then happiness will resonate from me and everything else will fall into place. Thats the dream anyway......
Saturday, October 01, 2011
I found this on someone elses blog and thought it would be fun!
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
No, mum liked the name in general and so changed the spelling to make it more unique!
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
At the theatre 2 days ago
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I used to, but being on a computer all the time has left me with chicken scratch instead of good penmanship.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Ham off the bone
5. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
6. Do you have kids?
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Sometimes, but in a humorous way.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
No they were taken out with my adenoids when I was three
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Yes and I have, when I was 21 at Kawara Gorge in New Zealand
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
co co pops
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Only when I take on the kids!
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Anything super chocolaty
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their laugh or smile
15. RED OR PINK?
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My mother, she died 13 years ago. She's my Guardian Angel now.
18. WHAT IS THE PAUL MCKENNA TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A homemade Cornish pasty, made with love by my mother in law (and a delicious salad)
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The movie Die Hard is on in the background. There, I've just switched it off!
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Freshly brewed coffee, lime and lemongrass, the smell of a roast dinner in the oven, my perfume of the moment
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Mountain hideaway in the winter with a crackling fire and a glass of red. The Beach house in summer for the kids to play on the sand and in the sea.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Its a toss up between soccer and Rugby Union
27. HAIR COLOR?
salt and pepper now - mixture of dark brown and grey. I haven't embraced the grey yet because I'm too young and luckily I can cover it up with hair dye!
28. EYE COLOR?
Brown with a bit of hazel mixed in
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No I have 20/20 vision luckily
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
A hearty steak cooked medium-rare with a healthy salad to accompany it
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Always happy endings. I try to avoid anything sad or scary.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
An Australian movie called Red Dog. It was a feel good movie.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
I hate being cold. Definitely Summer, so I can entertain outdoors and also use the pool with the kids! Oh and exercise outdoors also.
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs for those close and air kisses for everyone else!
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
I like a nice lemon gelato to cleanse the palate
37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
Too much time on the computer - just ask my husband!
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
None, I'm more of a weekend paper girl or magazine reader.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I don't have one at the moment, am just using the wood from the computer table
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
The sound of silence. We have a very noisy household, so when its silent, its bliss.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
I'm fairly well travelled.....farthest is probably England where I lived for two years in my early twenties
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can speak like the Darlex of Doctor Who
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Paddington in Sydney, Australia
47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
Killarney Heights in Sydney, Australia
48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
cream with grey-green window frames/gutters
49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
Yes because with my hectic life it made me stop and think about myself for a change
Friday, June 10, 2011
Short but sweet one from me today. Well I finally have it, that internal force required to get me to where I want to go. You know when it happens, that motivation where you feel you can achieve anything. Well I have it at the moment and I'm going to go with it for as long as it lasts! I always eat healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner, its the snacking in between and after meals that is my downfall. So for the past week I've stopped the snacking - and feel lighter and a real sense of achievement. Okay so its only been a week (and I did have one evening of binging a bit - thanks to Aunt who gave me a huge packet of sweets when she visited) , but I believe in small steps and setting mini goals that are achievable. I have a new Sparkbuddy who seems quite driven and very motivated to exercise so hopefully she will rub off on me a bit! lol! As I strive to incorporate some exercise into my week, my motto is "do what you can, with what you have, where you are". So I'll do just that, I'll make the best of whatever situation I'm in by making healthier choices. Wish me luck! Spark on.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
So tonight whilst I was watching the movie Juno on TV, I was craving food. Sweet food, but other food too - any food really. And I was craving the food when the movie was in a moving part and my emotions were bubbling up. Problem is that I had already eaten dinner only and hour earlier, followed by an ice-cream for dessert, so I wasn't hungry at all. Then I had a lightbulb moment and realised that I'm an emotional eater. I don't even fully know what it means to be an emotional eater, but I figure it's something to do with eating to block out the emotions you are feeling, or to seek comfort in food. I'm wondering if anyone in Sparkworld has any advice or information on eating emotionally? Now that I've made the connection, I can hopefully work towards nipping this habit in the bud before it gets any worse. Any advice appreciated.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I've stopped Sparking properly for the last month or so, mostly due to lack of time and planning. I can feel it coming on again though, I just have a couple of major changes to get through first, before I can fully dedicate myself to Sparking again. We are in the process of moving house, the full move takes place in 2 weeks, but we are sifting through our stuff already.
One great thing I have been doing in place of Spark is "decluttering" (my New Year resolution to get rid of junk and other stuff that I don't need anymore) and moving house is giving me the perfect opportunity to get rid of the junk I've accumulated over the past couple of years and am sick of tripping over. Once I've decluttered my house, I figure I can then concentrate on decluttering my body. I know exactly what to do to get there - drink plenty of water, cut down on my calories and begin to exercise. Sounds good in theory, but I know it will take lots of hard work to get to my goal of losing 50 pounds, but If I can get prepared properly (and mostly mentally) then I know I can do it. I'm just waiting for the perfect opportunity to start, once I'm settled in the new house and have settled the kids into their new schools and I have returned to work again after a year off on maternity leave. (I know I can begin to make small changes now, but I'm in an "all or nothing" kind of mood. And yes I know there will probably never be a perfect time to start - but I just feel that I will be in the right place in about 2 weeks) For some reason I need everything to feel settled so I can concentrate on getting ME back on track since I'm almost back to my heaviest weight of 4 years ago.
Whilst I've slackened off on the healthy side of things, I have been reading plenty of blogs and have a few favorites that I tune into each week and sometimes daily. My hubs suggests that if I spent as much time exercising as I do on Sparkpeople, I'd be halfway to my goal weight by now! lol. Seriously though, I'm amazed at how open and honest people are with sharing themselves and their journey and it makes me want to open up a little and share myself and my journey.
So I'll be back in about 2 or 3 weeks with some good news and my plan of attack for Sparking once more! I'm feeling so confident I might take some "before" photos, no matter how embarrassing, giant muffin top and all, showing me at my heaviest, so that I can compare them as I head towards my goal. And I wish you Good Luck with your weight loss journey between now & then!!!
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