Tuesday, December 03, 2013
Today is December 3rd and I get out of the inpatient hospital in a few hours. Itís almost 6:30 am now. Vision is still kind of messed up and right side kind of weak and this is slow typing but Iím making some progress. This hospital is in Dallas, about 40 minutes from my sonís home in Fort Worth which is better than what I had for visiting when I was in Phoenix to get medically stabilized. At his house I will do a day program to help me regain more skills which is about 10 minutes from my sonís house. Iím looking forward to it. My son and dil have room for me and between them and my sonís mil they are going to make sure I get there. I really am blessed to have this help in a place where there is the type of help I need.
I have 5 grown kids, and they are divided on the care Iím getting. My 2 grown daughters and their grandkids in Silver City NM are upset Iím not coming back and mad at my oldest son because Iím over here. But they actually want me to support them and really donít have any idea what I need right now or that resources are not available anywhere around there to do the best they can for me. My youngest son, had gotten his own place over there and I think he has mixed feelings. My middle son, in Oklahoma, and my brother and his family in Sacramento are really happy Iím out of there and over here. My oldest son and family, here, are also really happy. Sometimes we donít realize what we live with until we are out of it.
I know my fitbit I was wearing when this happened is in the stuff they now have at the Fort Worth house, along with the charger, so once I get to their house Iím going to charge it and start wearing it again. I know I wonít rack up the miles and floors I did, but will look forward to tracking my progress and recovery. Still on a walker right now but hopefully within a month or two will be off that. Fort Worth doesnít have hill, which Iím not quite ready to climb anyway, but there is a flight of steps in his house I will be working on. Weíve been working on stairs in therepy here and in outpatient therapy. Life is good!
Saturday, November 30, 2013
I know most donít know what that means so Iíll tell you. In the inpatient facility Iím in right now, yellow socks means there is an alarm around your bed and you canít get up without a staff person with you. That could be nurses, aids, physical/occupational/speech/recreational therapists or other. I had those till yesterday afternoon. Believe me, you havenít lived until someone follows you to the bathroom! Blue socks mean you canít go in the hall by yourself or take a shower by yourself, but you can do things in your room alone otherwise. Such awesome freedom!
If you donít know, I had a stoke/brain bleed on October 31 about 8:30 in the morning. I remember going for a walk early and then taking the grandkids to school and driving back home. I felt good. I was eating some cottage cheese while my oldest daughter was almost done getting ready for me to take here over 2 hours away to pick up 14-year old granddaughter and bring her home after she had tried to commit suicide the week before. All of a sudden I felt so dizzy and held on to the refrigerator because I was convinced it was going to turn sideways if I didnít hold it up. There was an air mattress behind me and I got them to help me lower to it.. I kept thinking in a few minutes I would be fine. After about10 min I still couldnít open my eyes and had a headache spreading up the back of the right side of my head. I let them call the paramedics then and still couldnít open my eyes because I was so dizzy. But I remember one saying something about blood pressure being 260 over something, which is way way high. I told my daughter to tell them on the phone I was having a stoke before they got here. I donít remember much after that, and apparently by that evening I was on a vent, intubated, and the doctor and my oldest son agreed on a doctor who would treat me right in Phoenix AZ. I was there from Halloween night until Nov. 21st when I came to Dallas for inhospital therepyk,
Maybe more tomorrow. Iím tired now but will make a full recovery with time. Love all of you!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
The past week has been really really hard. Both my daughters and their kids live with me. One of the kids is my 14 year old granddaughter. A week ago she tried to commit suicide by taking a lot of Tylenol. She spent the night in the hospital, to make sure her Tylenol levels were controlled (Tylenol can cause severe liver damage) then was transferred to an inpatient adolescent behavioral health treatment center. The closest one to us is about 2 1/2 hours from our house. It's been so hard to know that this beautiful young girl with so much potential didn't want to live. And so hard to see my daughter and the rest of the family go through the pain. I don't know what I would do without my faith in God and prayers and support of some of my friends here and on Facebook that have been a safe place for me to "talk". For a few days, my granddaughter didn't even want to talk to her mom on the phone. But she seems to be doing much better now, and her discharge is set for tomorrow morning it looks like. My daughter was just on a phone call meeting with the her daughter and staff and she is excited to be coming home. They started her on antidepressant medication and she opened up and talked some finally with them and was taught some coping skills and will follow up with counseling here. I am so very very grateful that she wasn't successful. I've been in that deep dark place before in my life, where it seemed too painful to live. I never attempted suicide, mainly because at the time I was going through it my kids were little and I couldn't leave them behind. But I know what it feels like to be in so much pain and my heart breaks for her.
We still have a road ahead of us to try to help her and also for both my daughters to make some changes in their own lives. Me as well. (Yeah me, I'm not perfect LOL). I've heard promises from my daughters before, as they have a lot of issues, but hopefully this time will be different. My faith is strong that good things will come out of this.
Keep my family in your thoughts and prayers for healing spiritually, mentally, and physically. Hopefully the Tylenol is all out of her system and no damage will show up later.
Thanks to all who have been there for me. I didn't share this with everyone sooner, as it is hard to talk about sometimes. Suicide is a very scary subject but also something that needs to be talked about. Things are never so hopeless that they can't get better. I'm so glad that when I felt that way years ago I hung on and got some help because I would have missed out on so many good things and my family would have been devastated. Weeping endures for a moment but joy comes in the morning.
Monday, October 21, 2013
I hadn't been hiking in a little bit. Seems like something always comes up or I get lazy when I could. And this is the best time of year for hiking around here, when the weather has cooled and the rains have stopped.
I wasn't sure how much I could hike, because I had done a 6 1/2 mile walk in town earlier, up and down hills. I had already done the equivalent of 40 floors according to my fitbit. But the bug bit me to go out anyway. Usually I can only do one or the other. I headed out to the Little Walnut area, a series of forest service trails a few minutes outside of town. I've been here many many times, and have posted a number of blogs on this area. But I'm going to go ahead and do it again.
I decided to climb Gomez Peak, at the very edge of the recreation area. I don't know why I had to climb the peak, but that's the thought that stuck in my head. It's not a lot of mileage (my total mileage was 4.25 miles for the hike) but it has a pretty good climb to it.
But first as I was heading out of town I noticed McDonalds. No I didn't stop to get something to eat there LOL. But they just did a lot of remodeling and finished less than a month ago. One of the things they added was this huge Ronald McDonald (which I thought was hideous). I noticed that in such a short time, Ronald is now leaning way over. I thought before it was a solid figure, but it was kind of bobbing yesterday so maybe it's a balloon that needs air.
So now on to the hike. I start out on the trail. Here is the peak I am going to climb.
The grasses are turning brown now, since the rainy season is over and the weather is getting colder. We've had some nights down in the mid 30's. It was very green for a while when we had a lot of rain. But the weeds are still high, which left stickers that got in my shoes and on my shorts at times. Still a very nice hike.
They have these nice signs at various intersections along the trail to help you decide which way to go. I've been hiking these trails on and off since the late 90's, and used to hike here when the signs weren't here. There are 2 ways up to Gomez peak. One is a trail that winds around the mountain as it climbs, until it gets probably about 3/4 of the way up. Then it joins the trail that goes straighter up the trail at marker 6 on the map. Points 5 to 6 (if they show up on this picture, is a steeper, shorter trail. But much better than the old trail back I the 90's that is now closed off. This one has more switch back making it a little easier. Way back there was just one way up. The trail around didn't exist, and neither did the newer trail from points 5 to 6. The old trail was a very steep, straight up the face of the mountain, and very treacherous. Hard going up, worse coming down. Lots of good sized rocks and growth on the side of the trail that made it hard to get off the trail. The trail was narrow, steep, and lots of loose rocks on it. Going up was very steep and sometimes you almost felt like your face was close to the ground LOL. Coming down was really hard because of the steepness and loose small rocks on a hard packed ground that made it really easy to have them roll under your shoes and cause a fall. I only did that trail a couple of times back then because it was really scary to me. I had a doctor once though who thought I should exercise more and suggested I run up that trail every morning before work. Apparently there were some people who did that. He didn't stay my doctor long.
I started on the trail that climbs up the peak winding around it.
The trail is still not and easy one, although it doesn't climb as steeply. Lots of rocks. And the growth by the side of the trail was taller and got more dense as I climbed. It wasn't growing on the trail itself, but was tall and leaned over the trail from both sides much more the higher I climbed. I'd never seen it this tall and over the trail this much before.
As I wind around I being to see parts of Silver City down below. I had started on the side more toward the north, away from town. As I wound around toward the west and southwest it came into view.
The trail is kind of technical with a lot of rough places on it.
Not many flowers left but I did find a few. And of course different kinds of cactus.
This is a Century plant, an agave plant. They only bloom every so many years. It was once thought only every 100 years, which is where the name century plant came from. Actually they say it's closer to every 10 to 30 years. When they do bloom, they have a yellow and orange color to them that looks kind of like fire. I've seen them bloom like that, and when the sun hits them in the early morning or late afternoon/evening they really do look like each of those pods is on fire and it is really beautiful. But each year you only find a few if you are lucky. There are lots of them around here, but they don't all bloom at the same time. They also die shortly after they bloom. Some people also take these and decorate them for special times, such as Christmas or other times. Usually after they've fallen and are dead. When I worked on a mental health unit, someone brought in one that that the patients used to decorate for any different holiday or event that came up. It just stayed there.
I'm still winding around and am on the south side now, probably about 2/3 of the way up. I will wind a little more before catching the trail that climbs up to the top of the peak.
The trail turns into solid rock for a little while now.
Way off in the distance is a monastery. It is said that the monks climb to the top of this peak sometimes for sunrise services. I'm not sure how often but they have a ring built at the top of the peak I will show later.
Now I come to the junction in the trail where I can either go down the mountain or turn left and climb to the peak at point 6 on the map.
Found some different flowers here.
More rocks to climb over
Through here the trail was really narrow, rocky, and tall grasses and other things (I would call some of them weeds) kept me occupied as I climbed up to the top. I didn't take any more pictures until I got to the top after this one. The trail felt more treacherous than at other times because of the heavy growth that made the trail more narrow than usual. Sharp drop offs on one side, and a few places where the edge of the trail had been washed out by the unusually heavy rains this year. Passable but lots of caution required from here.
At the top now, looking down on Silver City.
Here is the ring that I mentioned that I think is made by the monks. Last time I was here, last March, it was a little different and had a fire ring in the middle of it. The peak is a very small area, and doesn't have much area around this ring at the top.
My camera batteries died here so I didn't get any pictures on the way down. I went down the trail that goes more straight down, and not around the mountain. But first I sat on the top of the peak for a while and read some of a book on my phone and just enjoyed being up here. I was reading a book about someone who hiked the Appalachian trail. I spent about half an hour just relaxing up there. Just as I was getting ready to leave, another woman climbed up to the top. I left her in peace up there and started down the trail.
Hope you enjoyed going along with me on my hike.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Love this that I found today! Are you inspiring others? And most of all want to thank all my friends here who inspire me! You are all successes!
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