LILMAC79  
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Wow.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

My last entry was written in June. I cannot help but shake my head... at that time I was complaining about hurting my ankle and gaining 1.5lbs...
here I am.. almost gaining the whole 16 that I had lost...
1 turns into 2.. 2 turns into 4.. 4 turns into 8...
Yes, the dr said that I couldn't run with my ankle.. nor do p90x.. but I could have walked..
woulda. coulda. shoulda...
I have learned.. I feel like sht about it.. and I should have been at my goal in a week. Instead, I am starting over... from the weight that I was at in FEB!!!!
It makes me sick that I may not be at goal until the spring...
I will have to just track everything... do the treadmill.. p90x...
Try to keep positive...
Sometimes I wonder if I can reach the goal.. how did I let myself get to this weight??? Did I ignore myself for that long???? It packed on so quickly... it freaks me out.
I never was one to run out and eat McDonald's etc. Do I just eat larger portions? WAs stress murdering my body??
I refuse to be any larger than this. It just seems like a lot to lose. I will have to focus on 10lbs at a time and treat myself as I hit the goals...
I am just overwhelmed right now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNFORFUNNOT 11/9/2009 12:46PM

    Go for it. Life tastes better when you've lost weight.

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update...

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

so i am still injured..
my ankle feels better but once in a while it will be very tender and sore.. when i rotate it, it cracks like crazy. doctor didnt see a break in the xray.. so i dont know. chiro says it's sprained...
i've gained 1.5lbs which isn't anything seeing as i havent been able to workout for approx 6 weeks or so now. im going to try to get back on the treadmill this week and keep icing it..
i really want to do p90x!!
i feel jiggly and soft but i obviously havent gained that much.. but i feel SO different.. and i need to get back to jogging for stress relief.
i neglected my food diary after the long weekend.. so im getting back into it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARYELLEN75 6/9/2009 10:53AM

    Seriously! I just looked away for the whole weekend - and I'm with you on the injury frustration. Since I hurt my back I haven't been able to do anything either, and it's so frustrating because I feel like I was really coming along in getting that rhythm in place (eat, workout, feel good, sleep better, repeat).

But just 1.5 pounds in light of all that's going on for you is AMAZING. I surely would have put on 15 and not even blinked an eye. Well done, girlfriend.

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Afraid

Thursday, April 30, 2009

So here is my story as to why I'm disappointed.. and scared.. let's be honest..
In Feb. my ankle almost felt like it had to crack.. it was really stiff.. then from that point on it would periodically give out.. like I would try to walk on it and I'd step and my ankle would almost feel like it was twisting and give out. it was a couple times a day initially.. then spread out to almost once a day. i didnt want to go to the doctor because i wasnt in PAIN.. it was just annoying..

so last sat i was wearing wedge sandals and fell and killed it.. it's still swollen and i couldnt walk on it sunday.. so i went to the dr today and she said i might have broken something.. so she sent me for xrays which we dont get back for a week..
my cousin who works at an orthotics place suggested that it could be a stress fracture... so she gave me a strong tensor bandage to wear and an ice wrap..
i am so disappointed.. from jogging ive lost almost 13lbs so far.. and i wanted to kick it up with p90x.. and now i cant..

This is the first time where I felt organized and like this might actually work to lose this excess weight.. no, it's not dropping fast.. but it's dropping..
but that came with working out... I was even going to increase my workouts to either 30min morning, 20min nights.. or P90X and treadmill...
now.. nothing :(
I hope I don't gain it back.. even if I'm eating clean..
This blows. I hope I keep my focus too...

  


when will i learn....

Saturday, April 25, 2009

to just weigh myself once a week!?!??!? my weight has slowed down A LOT the past 2 weeks... so of course i hop on the scale again and im up 2.8 and haven't cheated...
it does frustrate me that people will go and binge drink or eat chips or ice cream and still lose.. and im being hardcore and gain.. UGHHHHHHHHHH

a part of me wants to just avoid the scale.. and maybe go on once a month.. and another part of me knows that i cannot do that as i need to keep on top of it all...

a part of me wants to say eff it and have a panzo and drinks galore...
but i've worked too hard to spoil it..

it's just frustrating.. im being so disciplined and it should come off faster / i shouldnt gain that much!!!!

blahhhhh

  


How I've changed..

Friday, April 24, 2009

I've been trying to change my lifestyle since March 16th.. it hasn't been that long.. however I have realized that I need to workout to keep myself sane. I am going through the most stressful time that I ever have gone through.. I thought that time was 3-4 years ago..
at that time, stress took over my body.. I'd break out into hives once in a while, feel like I had a ball of negativity in my chest, and was super emotional.. probably from the lack of sleep..

Sure, I want to lose weight.. more than anything.. but I'm finding that workout is getting all of this anger and frustration out. I honestly don't think that if this working out and eating better didn't happen a month ago.. I would be a huge mess right now.

Last time I had to deal with a huge stressful situation.. I drank with my friends, went out to eat, vented, and was just negative...

I'm slowly learning......

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAVON27 4/24/2009 4:30PM

    Great job on finding a better and healthier alternative to getting rid of stress and negativity. Keep up the great job!

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SALINA78 4/24/2009 12:45PM

    A WONDERFUL change!!!

I find working out when upset, stressed, etc is a GREAT outlet!
I LOVE it!
I've had some of my greatest workouts during these times.
In fact, I'm about to have one now... UGH!
And I'm thrilled to let it all out on the treadmill in a few minutes!

Sorry for the tough times right now!
But, I'm proud of you for learning the right way and healthy way to deal with it!
emoticon

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