LILLIPUTIANNA   20,822
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LILLIPUTIANNA's Recent Blog Entries

Playing Hooky

Thursday, August 07, 2014

Today I will be playing hooky from work.

I'm not going to get in trouble or anything.

I just can't handle people today.

I've told you in previous posts about my coworkers, my "friends." They are difficult to handle when I'm in a good mood. Today, I have no ability at all to deal with their weirdness.

Especially after yesterday, with the strangers and new workers asking me what I want to be when I grow up, as I was standing in front of them, knee deep in technical, and highly specialized equipment that most people don't know how to use. It made me doubt myself. So, with insecurities nagging at me, the thought of accidentally running into one of my "friends" sounds absolutely horrifying.

Yes, I know if I'm saying things about them like this, they probably aren't really my friends. Well, that's no fault of mine. I treated them with respect and kindness. In return, I got a bunch of their weird hang ups about weight (though they would say "fitness). I got to sit and listen to their messed up relationship situations. I got to relived all the high school drama I could possibly handle. Now, being a grown up, I have decided that I'm done with it.

So, like a mature and responsible grown up...I'm going to play hooky.

  


A Butcher, A Baker, A Candlestick Maker...

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Today is the day when complete strangers give me the "what do you want to be when you grow up" speech. Never mind that I'm a grown adult, with a union job, who has to wear nice shoes to work, has to sit through meetings, or that I'm in a field that is in high demand. Apparently, something about me today is giving off the "unsure young adult" vibe.

I figured by now that people would start treating me like a grown up. I have tons of white hairs. I have some wrinkles. I'm not a size zero anymore. I'm not sure what signal they are receiving.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILLIPUTIANNA 8/6/2014 6:43PM

    VIADOLOROSA,

Maybe I was unclear. I am happy I'm old. I love my white hair. I love my wrinkles. I love that I don't get cat-called when walking down the street. I love that I have a union job.

Today, for some unknown reason, everyone treated me like I was the intern. I haven't been the intern for twenty years.

I fought hard to get to a place where people are supposed to treat me like a colleague. Instead, they were asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up. (I grew up twenty years ago.) These were complete strangers. One was the new guy at my work. I have tons of seniority over him.

The whole thing was mind-boggling.

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VIADOLOROSA 8/6/2014 4:42PM

    Seasons of life... We enter wearing diapers and we leave wearing diapers. I'm almost there, too! Hang in there hon!

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The Case Of The Missing Data

Monday, July 14, 2014

I'm starting to think it's strange that I can't find long-term success rate data regarding Spark People. I can find it for Weight Watchers. I can find it for AA. Heck, I can find it for Biggest Loser.

Surely there's been a study done on this.



(I ask this, because I'm not feeling so Sparky, and I'm think for all the talk of a lifestyle change/not a diet, that this is just one more diet, dressed up to look like something more.)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILLIPUTIANNA 7/14/2014 6:00PM

    I have a friend who lost a LOT of weight with Weight Watchers. He's kept it off too. But I can't point to him and say that Weight Watchers MUST be effective because of his results. In fact, I get the impression that his results are a-typical.

I just find it shocking that no external, scientifically motivated organization (a university or some such thing) hasn't collected and recorded the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of the Sparky way. Often, scientists will set up experiments with control groups and the like, and have participants use WW or AA or some behavior modification system like Spark People.

The complete lack of data seems unlikely to me. Someone somewhere MUST have the data I'm looking for.

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ICEDEMETER 7/14/2014 5:35PM

    I haven't seen anything about the long-term success rate, and I would be very surprised if I did. I also wouldn't trust it much, since all of the data is self-reported (and most folks aren't all that honest about it). I can see WW having the data from their public weigh-ins, and am not surprised at all at the low success rate.

My personal take on all of the different programs and options are that they all can be either diets or lifestyle changes - it all depends on how the individual uses them.

I didn't follow any "food plan" or make any "goals" or read either of the Spark books - I just used the tracker to see what I was eating and to get data to make some changes. I also haven't used the fitness trackers - I treat that as something completely separate (and haven't hit on anything that I can see incorporating as a regular thing).

For me, it seems to be a lifestyle change in that I can't see changing back to how I ate before - primarily because I enjoy what I eat now more than what I used to have! I now cook 90% of our meals, whereas we used to eat in restaurants more than 70% of the time (and honestly, I can make better tasting food than most of the restaurants that we used to frequent).

I had a recent 3 week stint of traveling, and "indulging", and the resultant "weight gain" (water) disappeared within a week of getting home and getting back to our normal way of eating. It really IS our normal now - and it takes less thought and effort to continue with it than it would to change back.

I've only been maintaining for a few months, though, so time will tell whether I'll be able to say for sure that I made a lifestyle change or followed a diet...

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DUKEFAN86 7/14/2014 11:41AM

    Personally, I use SP for the online support, but I've had more weight loss success using the Weight Watchers app.

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LILLIPUTIANNA 7/14/2014 11:35AM

    But have you ever seen an article about long term success by people who use this site? I can pull up ten scientific articles right now regarding Weight Watchers (for the record their success rate isn't very good). I can pull up articles on Jenny Craig (also not good). I can pull up success rates for Alcoholics Anonymous (shockingly not good). I can pull up data for all manner of organizations and business designed to help you break bad habits...and they rarely have impressive success rates.

Strangely enough, Biggest Loser has something like a 75% success rate for long term weight loss. That goes counter to what we are told in the media, and when we sit around chatting about such things

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CHARITYAK 7/14/2014 11:27AM

    I don't use the SP Diet. At 54, I know what my body responds to and what it doesn't. What I am finding SP helpful for is the support, accountability and journaling while I do my own thing... :)

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More Fun With Mommy Dearest

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Today will not be a good day.

You know how you wake up some mornings and you just KNOW it will be a bad day?

That's today.

I didn't lose any weight this week.

I have to spend the day with my mother, for her birthday. If you have read any of my other blogs, you know that spending time with my mother is a bit like spending time in a nest of angry rattlesnakes...but less cuddly. She wants to go out to eat. It's an Italian place she wants to try. There will most likely be nothng there I can eat. She will then make snide comments about me, my life, my weight, my house, my politics, whatever she can until it's time for me to come home.

I shouldn't put up with it, I know. But she's my mother. Both of my parents were terribly dysfunctional. I cut my father out of my life because he was so bad. My mom is bad, but in a different, sneakier way. She wears away at your defenses. She looks for chinks in your armor.

This is is same woman who, when I ended up in the hospital, because my grandparents pressured her to admit me, got mad because she was going to have a hospital bill to pay. (And I think because I was sloppy enough to get caught in my disordered behavior. I wouldn't make that mistake again, for the record.)

And do you see? This all starts with me feeling stupid for not having lost weight this week. Now I have to stand in front of my mother, who always pressured me to be thin. She taught me that thin was never thin enough. This is the same person who, when she went through treatment for breast cancer was happy that she was finally able to get down to her "normal weight."

So, today will be a mine field for me.

I will think of all you shiny little Sparkers while I stare mournfully into my plate of pasta.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMAVISION 7/13/2014 12:45PM

    With my own "tendency to tell the truth" or "to point out the truth" --- bottom line, you do not have to give over the minutes of your life to anyone with whom you do not care to, that includes your mother. Everything we do comes down to a choice made.



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LILLIPUTIANNA 7/13/2014 12:31PM

    Thanks KESTRYLL!

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KESTRYLL 7/13/2014 12:13PM

    Salad is always a good choice and I know how you feel, my bbf's mother did that to her all the time. Even as she lay dying. Sad. Have a great day anyway!

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Lucky Level 13

Monday, July 07, 2014




Today, I hit Level 13 here on Spark People.

I'm writing this blog to remind myself that in order to see progress, to "level up," all I have to do is show up, drink my water, enter my food, do a tiny bit of exercise. Pushing myself harder and going to extremes does not bring about progress faster. It only leads to a crash and burn.

In one week I have...

1. Lost 2.5 pounds. (Yes I was hungry. Yes I was lightheaded at first. Now I am not.)

2. My skin feels younger. (Water + Exercise = The Fountain of Youth! I don't mind getting old, but I don't want to feel like every time I move my skin is cracking.)

3. My mind is clearer. (The stress and depression that haunts me isn't gone, but I can deal with it better.)

4. I don't feel like a tick about to burst. (Gaining all that weight back is just too much stress on my body. I have tiny bones. They can't carry a lot of weight. I don't want to feel like a water balloon when I walk.)

Keep moving. Keep logging in. Stay focused.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ICEDEMETER 7/7/2014 3:21PM

    Nice to have the tools here when you want them, isn't it?

Kudos on getting past the hunger and feeling better!

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JLAMING263 7/7/2014 12:31PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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