Monday, July 07, 2014
Today, I hit Level 13 here on Spark People.
I'm writing this blog to remind myself that in order to see progress, to "level up," all I have to do is show up, drink my water, enter my food, do a tiny bit of exercise. Pushing myself harder and going to extremes does not bring about progress faster. It only leads to a crash and burn.
In one week I have...
1. Lost 2.5 pounds. (Yes I was hungry. Yes I was lightheaded at first. Now I am not.)
2. My skin feels younger. (Water + Exercise = The Fountain of Youth! I don't mind getting old, but I don't want to feel like every time I move my skin is cracking.)
3. My mind is clearer. (The stress and depression that haunts me isn't gone, but I can deal with it better.)
4. I don't feel like a tick about to burst. (Gaining all that weight back is just too much stress on my body. I have tiny bones. They can't carry a lot of weight. I don't want to feel like a water balloon when I walk.)
Keep moving. Keep logging in. Stay focused.
Monday, June 30, 2014
I don't eat McDonalds fries. I don't eat McDonalds anything. However, this picture makes me wonder just how many strawberries I could eat before feeling sick and never wanting to eat another strawberry again. I'm fairly sure I wouldn't make it to 114.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Water weight is so weird. Losing three pounds in three days is deceiving. I usually carry about five pounds of water weight when I'm stressed. I understand biology and metabolisms...but that water weight thing is always baffling to me.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Today's my birthday. It's been terrible.
For months now, I've been pushed and prodded into doing more work, into promoting myself, into doing things that make me uncomfortable. I thought that maybe the people who have been demanding would at least show me a little appreciation on my birthday. Nope. Most of them forgot. In fact, today seemed like an after-thought to my husband.
When it comes to everyone else's birthday, I have to be the super-party planner rock star. If I don't bake them a cake, fill their car with balloons, and make them feel like the best person on the planet, then I'm a bad friend, sister, daughter, or wife.
I know there's still time for some sort of awesome surprise, but trust me, there's no awesome surprise. My husand works nights. My family hasn't even called. My friends all forgot (except those on Facebook, but I won't be seeing them in real life today). I have class tonight. So, like I said…there's no chance at all of surprises.
So, I'm just going to sit here and throw myself a pity party. Today sucks.
Also, in the future, the chances of me being the super party planner rock star are, statisically speaking, around zero.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Twelve pounds. That’s it. Just twelve. That’s all I need to lose to reach my goal. I’ve been staring at that goal for years.
When I log into Sparkpeople, I see articles about people who lost 50, 100, 250 pounds. I read about their horrifying health issues that prompted them to lose that weight. I recognize that my twelve pounds is pretty pathetic. I feel guilty for being so petty. Twelve pounds is nothing.
There are people here on SP, who if all they had to lose was twelve pounds, they’d be deliriously happy. Yet, here I am...beating myself up over it. I just read about a woman who lost 65 pounds and before she lost the weight, walking felt like stepping on shards of glass. I can’t imagine that. That is terrifying. My heart absolutely breaks for anyone who experiences anything like that. Yet here I am, fussing over twelve pounds.
“But twelve is just a number!” you say. (You are a good little Sparker. That is the right thing to say.)
It is just a number, but it’s a number that keeps causing me trouble. It shouldn’t cause me trouble. I should be happy that it’s only twelve pounds...not 50, 100, or 250.
My husband was shaming me in front of a friend the other day. “She thinks she’s fat,” he laughed. “She’s always going on about how fat she is.”
I know he means well, but I felt like crawling into a dark cave and hiding there forever.
Yes, my weakness is feeling like I’m fat, no matter how thin I am. I will probably always be that way. I know it’s irrational. I know that there are people out there who have a much harder time at this than I do. I know that twelve pounds is nothing compared to 50, 100, or 250.
Those of you who struggle against health issues and much more imposing goals inspire me. Your strength amazes me. When you see someone like me whining about twelve pounds, pay us no mind.
Stay strong Sparkers.
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