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Getting back to life - with VEGGIES!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Me RAMBLING:

Okay...I'm not really telling many people that I live near about me Juicing Veggies. At least not yet. But I shared it with you..so I'm going to keep you updated on my JOURNEY...if you will let me.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
That is how I have felt since this stupid surgery mistake 2 years ago.
Sad, depressed, and FAT!
emoticon I gained 40 pounds in the last two years.
emoticon I dance - barely. Just so hard even 5 min after we start.
emoticon emoticon I'm wiped out..and in pain. And I hate it emoticon emoticon

I have tried - counting calories - I GET HUNGRY - BAD (some of it was because of the meds I was on). And I just feel like a sack of potatoes.

emoticon THEN Jen heard about the JUICE...and I tried it and love it. (Been juicing ONLY since Sunday).

emoticon Changes I see - only in the last 4 days.

emoticon #1. I WANT to drink water. Seriously I have had more WATER in the last 4 days than I have drank in the last month. I CRAVE water (WHO AM I?)

emoticon #2 Chocolate - my all time LOVE...I really don't crave at all.

emoticon #3 After Dinner snack - I usually love to "CHANGE THE TASTE" in my mouth after I eat. I always want something to help with that. NOT SINCE I JUICE DINNER.
I like the taste in my mouth. No bad after taste. I don't even want a snack.

emoticon #4 Tues night band - I'm usually EXHAUSTED when I get home. Exhausted and grumpy. I haven't enjoyed band in a long time. LAST NIGHT. I had so much fun. I had so much energy I came home ...did dishes...finished laundry. Made my Juice dinner for WED...cleaned the juicer and still wasn't tired. (that's a HUGE difference).

emoticon #5. My emotions are different. Usually when I hear something like MY BROTHER ISN"T COMING HOME in JUNE or even DEC ...I would usually be crushed and go find some CHOCOLATE. Today...I'm a little sad. But NOT DEVASTATED..and still don't want chocolate. (I hear Juicing can help mood swings?? Maybe?? Maybe not. For today it is helping)

emoticon emoticon emoticonI am WAITING NOW emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon Waiting to see how the scale reflects
emoticon Waiting to see how the measurements of my body reflects
emoticon Waiting to see what my blood tests will show in August
emoticon Waiting to see - HOW I FEEL

emoticon If I had to VOTE NOW!! I would say MY LIFE HAS CHANGED.
and....I AM ENJOYING THIS CHANGE.....

emoticon I will ride this JOURNEY with you and keep you updated on how I am doing.

emoticon emoticon Thanks for letting me SHARE this journey!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REALITYCHECK86 6/19/2014 8:08AM

    I love juicing! I've done juice fasts in the past, and I do more smoothies these days, but juicing is great! Good luck, and can't wait to see your results!! emoticon

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HEARTOFCHRIST 6/18/2014 8:11PM

    I am so excited for you! I love hearing the joy in your posts!

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MZLADY77 6/18/2014 1:52PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PEGGYO 6/18/2014 1:52PM

    Great idea Steph

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Hope-E Joy in the middle of my STRESS!!!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

It's been a long difficult two months. Pain that won't end...doctor visits with no solutions....and sometimes LOSS of FAITH that I will EVER be NORMAL again!!!

But...in the midst of all this...I think GOD has blessed me.

I have a little white 8 lb fluff ball. She is a Maltese and next month will be 2 years old. When she was a baby everyone including the VET thought she was Crazy..we called her CRASH...because she loved to RUN around the room and just BAM into things.

Thankfully she no longer CRASHES (well almost never..there are still times)!!!

But...she is a constant joy!! AND TOO CUTE FOR WORDS!!!

Last night - through sobs of stress and pain..and finances..I just didn't know what to do but CRY (which..crying is a GOOD THING....so I let it happen).
HOPE-E was UP ON MY LAP - sooo glad she is only 8lbs - and she was LICKING all those tears off my face. I take it she loved me and wanted to show she cared....My roommate said "NOPE..SHE JUST LIKES THE SALT!! HA HA HA"!!

So...despite the sad tears..there was laughter...."IT's NOT THE SALT...HOPE-E LOVES ME".!!!
"NOpe, it's the salt"!!

And on and on it went!!!

This little dog is a joy. NO matter how my day has gone..when I come through the door she is there..(TOY IN MOUTH)...barking HELLO - PLAY WITH ME....HI..MOM..PLAY..IT"S PLAY TIME!!! MAWWWWMMMM!!!!

I pet her on the head...unload the lunch box...take off my shoes, change into comfortable clothes and then SIT ON THE COUCH!!!
Which to HOPE-E means...."PLAY TIME IS ON"!!!!

Toy in my lap she RUNS away and as I toss it, she tries to CATCH it in her mouth..it's a HARD KEY and I'm sooo afraid it will hurt her, but she still tries..and sometimes succeeds in catching that toy. (I tried to buy her a baby cloth Frisbee thinking....oh she wants to catch toys...try this - SHE HATES IT..REFUSES TO GO NEAR IT)!!! So..I'm stuck throwing this little puppy toy key!!!

Occasionally she will lay down on my lap and watch a show with me..and at bedtime she always follows me into my room. THANKFULLY SHE LETS ME SLEEP!! Bedtime at NIGHT - means TOYS ARE A NO NO (i didn't teach her that..she just knows???).

BUT....at 6:30 in the morning when the alarm goes off....GUESS WHO IS IN MY FACE WITH TOY IN MOUTH!!!!??? Yep....morning means TOY TIME!!!

I set my alarm to go off early..so for the next 20 min I can lay there and throw the toy..she gets it..brings it back..and on it goes!!!

Time to GET UP!! You would think my little TOY MACHINE Is done??? Right??? 20 min and we should be good to go!!! NOPE....She follows me around the house...kitchen, living room, bathroom (OH THE BATHROOM IS HER FAVORITE TOY PLACE...she sneaks in there..and while I'm on the toilet she gives me her toy - THROW IT MOM - THROW IT!!! I guess I'm at her disposal there!! HA HA HA....

So into the bathroom I go to brush my teeth....the toy is left on my foot....I bend down and toss it...she brings it back. OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!

I step in the shower..and she waits right outside..as soon as I open the shower door when I'm done...she puts her toy inside the shower and backs up..waiting for me to toss it.!!!!

Yes..this continues..until I feed her her breakfast (no toys while she eats)...and then It's time for me to leave for work!!

She climbs up on the couch and looks at me - sometimes with her head cocked to the side....she knows I'll be gone for awhile...but when I come home.....

She and the TOY will be waiting!!!

I love that little girl...she is my joy!! She loves me and plays with me..and cuddles when I need it the most!!!

Praise GOD for my little HOPE-E!!!!
A breathe of fresh air in the midst of a season of maddness!!!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FERRETLOVER1 9/27/2013 7:00AM

    How wonderful your little doggie is! So glad you have her to be there for you whenever you need her.

emoticon

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2BLEAN_N_FIT_AZ 9/27/2013 12:33AM

    Steph
She is your angel, you can see it in her face especially in the last picture. She is a treasure and knows she is needed by you, now more than ever.
Thanks for sharing Hope-E with all of us.
Hugs

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NEVADAPP 9/27/2013 12:23AM

    Doggies can be so very theraputic!! You are lucky to have such a sweet little buddy!

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JCGALSHERE 9/27/2013 12:05AM

    That is a very sweet blog, very sweet adorable blessing of a dog you have!!! emoticon to you sweetie. Stay strong and you are so lucky to have her love lift your spirits at all times. And I agree with you....it wasn't the salt....it was the love emoticon

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GRACIEC 9/26/2013 11:29PM

    She is definitely a cutie and I'm so glad that she brings you so much joy! I'm looking forward to the video!

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BECKYSKEL 9/26/2013 10:47PM

    She is adorable!!! God has blessed you with a cute, adorable, and wonderful playmate. Praying for you friend!

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MASTERCARE 9/26/2013 8:20PM

    God's creatures

and how lucky we are to have them

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HEARTOFCHRIST 9/26/2013 8:14PM

    She really is the cutest thing.

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NINETOZE 9/26/2013 5:53PM

    What a sweet puppy! Thanks for sharing. It is wonderful to have unconditional puppy love. emoticon

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SAASHA17 9/26/2013 4:07PM

    Steph
U are lucky for having angel with u...so precious..i was imagining her pkay time..
Manasa

Ps: here if u need a human friend to just listen...hope u feelbetter soon..hugs


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SAASHA17 9/26/2013 4:07PM

    Steph
U are lucky for having angel with u...so precious..i was imagining her pkay time..
Manasa

Ps: here if u need a human friend to just listen...hope u feelbetter soon..hugs


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PEGGYO 9/26/2013 3:09PM

    It's great to have such a friend as you have.

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ROMNEY3 9/26/2013 3:08PM

    Believe it or not I have a kitty that does the same thing, Part of the reason we call her a dog in the cat suit


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Where is My Faith?

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Growing up was hard for me. But I always had GOD. He was near by, He was "safety, He guided me through many many trials".

I had years of therapy and healing....and praise God I have come out on the other side of things a NEW PERSON...one filled with LIFE..and HAPPINESS and just a "NOTHING KNOCKS ME DOWN..I WILL PRESS THROUGH".

At least that is what my friends have always said. I am STUBBORN...(in a good way)...and that no matter what struggles I came across I would always keep pushing forward and I would get through them. I was a DOG oN a BONE....I was willing to TACKLE anything to get to the OTHER SIDE.

I want to know where THAT "ME" WENT?

Last year 2013 I had a flare up of my Gall Bladder. (MAY 2013). It was my first of many surgeries. I haven't found ME since. From one surgery to the next....from one problem to the next. Doctors are still trying to help "SORT ME BACK TOGETHER".

And for some odd reason...I don't have that "FIGHT" in me that I use to have. I don't have that..."BRING IT ON I CAN TACKLE THIS". I don't FEEL like fighting it anymore.

Is it all the pain??? Doesn't make since...I was in PAIN for years when I was younger..but GOD was always CLOSE.....how come HE feels so far away now?

Medications and me...we don't mix.....are they the reason I don't FEEL that fighting? Did they steal my STUBBORNNESS? Did they remove the FAITH that I will press on and get better?

I wonder if I'm too tired?? I was tired before....never slept always had nightmares...but it never stopped me. WHY DOES IT NOW?

What is so different now?
Why is THIS CHALLENGE So much harder for me?

Is it just the drugs that make me feel loopy, and wacky and like I need a padded room? Is it just the drugs that make my body feel like it's being Experimented on by Alien invaders?

Why can't I find PEACE in the midst of THIS STORM?
There were worse storms (at least I felt they were worse)...so why does this one feel like a HURRICANE that has NO END?

Is it the DRUGS that make me feel so all alone in the midst of this TURMOIL? I know that I know that I'm not alone...I have friends and people who care.....so why does the darkness feel so dark?

Why do we let Doctors "PRACTICE" Medicine.....because it might help?? or do you realize it might make us worse.

When I was 19....for 7 months the doctors tried to heal my headaches. I was on numerous drugs ..test after test...and I finally gave up on the docs and walked out. Went through withdraws and took care of my headaches on my own. I pushed through that. I am okay.

There is part of me that wants to say "FORGET YOU DOCTORS...YOU ONLY MAKE ME WORSE"...but what is going on inside my body is not as simple as a headache that I can just learn to live with. This is different, this is more dangerous and something I cannot do on my own.

So I ask....Where is my Faith? Where is my HOPE that there will be an end to this struggle. Where is the LIGHT in the midst of this darkness?

Funny..my lava lamp burned out a few weeks ago...so now I sleep with it off..in the dark. I kinda feel like my light has gone out with it.....

Is this harder because I am NOT IN CONTROL at all? My body is doing things I wish it were not. I cannot control it. I cannot TELL The doctors GOODBYE...I don't have that choice either.

Is it because I feel at the MERCY Of so many others that is causing such a torment of pain inside?

I just wish I could FIND my FAITH...the Believe that SOMEONE cares...Something I could hold onto during these dark days!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XXMILAXX 9/18/2013 12:06AM

    I'm so sorry that you are going through so much. Let go and let God, he is there, sometimes it's just hard to see with so much going on. Sending emoticon & emoticon you're such a strong person, you will get through this!

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WATERWEEZE 9/14/2013 4:15PM

    Sweet Steph, I know you've always found comfort in blogging about issues that are confronting you and I hope that by writing the words you have come to feel somewhat better. I cannot fathom all that you have gone through, yet I do know that God is still very much with you and that your FAITH is still very much there, if somewhat dimmed right now.

It's the not knowing why that has you in such turmoil! And, it probably also has you quite scared as well, that I can very much understand, the FEAR! I firmly believe that God has so much more planned for you here on this earth and although you may not understand why, this may be a test of that unfailing FAITH you've always had.

I don't presume to have any answers, truly wish I did, but I believe those doctors that saved your life a few months ago will definitely NOT allow you to suffer like this needlessly. Please have some FAITH in them to discover the reason for all your pain and return you to My Sweet Happy, Pain Free Steph!!!

Love, hugs and prayers ALWAYS!!

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ROMNEY3 9/13/2013 8:20AM

    Steph - been trying to come up with the "perfect" advice for you all night. Can't seem to think of a thing. Except "let go and let God". Hang in there sweetie, Think of Job. God is still out there in control, but then you know that.

We love you girl.



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JHOPPER 9/12/2013 9:36PM

    My dear, sweet Steph! Oh how I wish I was there to give you the biggest hug - just like we did last October!! I think you need to borrow a lava light from someone and get that back on in your room! The light in your heart, in your smile, in your soul, is still shining brightly to all of us - for you, the pain is clouding it TEMPORARILY! Discuss ALL this with your doctor - ASAP - perhaps you need an adjustment on your meds! Give this all to God and stop trying to take it back!! We're all rooting for you and I know you will be shining brightly again real soon! Need you to be like the post on facebook today - you need to be so full of Christ that if a mosquito bites you it flies away singing "There's power in the blood!" Love you girl!

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HEARTOFCHRIST 9/12/2013 8:38PM

    Steph, God is not in your gallbladder. He didn't go away when it was taken out. You are in pain, it is perfectly normal for you to feel depressed, upset, frustrated, lost, in the dark. You don't know why you are in pain and neither do the doctors. They are still trying to rule out everything else so they can find out what remains and try to fix that. The doctors have to do that, you cannot. Therefore it si NORMAL for you to feel frustrated, out of control, annoyed, angry, upset...

You are still Steph. God still loves you. God is still in your heart where you have always found him. Your light is still there, it is still shining. Your joy is still there, it is just hidden. Your peace is there. Your HOPE is probably licking your toes. It will be okay. They will find the problem and will fix it and you will once again be stronger than you were before!

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GRACIEC 9/12/2013 7:23PM

    Steph, I know that you're suffering and struggling but you've also come a long way! Your journey just isn't over yet. Stay strong - we're here for you and HE is there for you! Hold on to your faith! Hugs and prayers!

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JD394471 9/12/2013 6:40PM

    Steph,
i have always known you to have a lot of faith.
i can't believe ylu don't have it now, or are questioning
Take it easy, dear, and i will continue to pray for you.
Wish i could make you well.
lots of love,
Donna

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ELSAT137 9/12/2013 5:52PM

    Praying for you! Do you remember the Footprints poem? God is carrying you now, even when He feels so distant. He loves you so much and will never leave you or forsake you. The enemy wants you to feel like there is no end - like you can't do this - but YOU CAN! Keep calling on God! Keep reading your bible! Keep seeking Him in any way you can! And when you are through this you will be able to look back and see how far God has brought you!

Could you be struggling with some depression? Is that a side effect of any of the medications you are on? Talk to your Dr about how you are feeling. I have struggled with depression and it is hard! Here is my blog about my struggle http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
ublic_journal_individual.asp?bl
og_id=5428506.

I WILL be praying for you and cling to God with all that you have!


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SINGER73 9/12/2013 4:14PM

    1 Peter 5:7 (NKJV) - casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

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PEGGYO 9/12/2013 3:48PM

    When you think of the darkness think of all of us with our candles of prayer lit and together we form a big circle of white light around you. You will come thru the darkness. We are all pulling from the other side.
You are Strong!!!!

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The Garden - semi before - and semi unweeded!

Monday, June 17, 2013


Side yard - BEFORE I dug up the weeds.


2 hours clearing weeds - and that's all I got done!


Most of the back yard has been DE WEEDED (except that last corner).


My geraniums! That survived the WEEDS ATTACK!


The only plants on the back shelves that SURVIVED the KILLER WEEDS!! (YAH for now the weeds are gone.....will NOT plant anything new until I can be sure the KILLER VINES DO NOT RETURN!!!!)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIVWIG 6/17/2013 10:57PM

    The side yard woul be a nice place for strawberries. Just saying!! Lol!!

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PEGGYO 6/17/2013 10:20PM

    wow you did a lot of work

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2BLEAN_N_FIT_AZ 6/17/2013 9:15PM

    Job well done! emoticon What a difference without those pesky weeds!

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HEARTOFCHRIST 6/17/2013 9:07PM

    Great job! I hate weeding. I am anxious to see what plants/flowers/fruits/veggies you plant!

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GRACIEC 6/17/2013 6:24PM

    I hate weeding! Lately I've been covering weedy areas with a layer of newspaper ad then throwing dirt over it until the weeds die - I read that the newspaper is biodegradable and will act as a good much. I just dig it in when the weeds die. You will have so much fun planning your yard - just enjoy the process!

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SARIANEC 6/17/2013 4:25PM

    Will it be grass or a garden? We started using a permeable black plastic in our veg garden. Still have to watch the weeds right around the plants, but it certainly helps to keep it manageable.

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SUSANELAINE1956 6/17/2013 4:03PM

    Boy, can I relate. I've been battling my acre of weeds for a couple of weeks now. Good job!

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MILLISMA 6/17/2013 3:40PM

    Steph, looks good and you have some nice areas to work with. Looking forward to seeing what you do.

hugs...Mary Anne

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HELP - ADVICE FOR A CA YARD! THE WEEDS MUST LEAVE!!!

Thursday, June 13, 2013


emoticon Advice emoticon

Background: I have what is considered a Duplex. (Two houses that make one building). I have a front yard/patio. Then a fence....then a LONG thin side yard. Another shorter fence....and a small back yard (Big for California). 75% of the back yard is a concrete slab. The back of the yard is walled off and there are like two layers of dirt for plants etc. along that back wall.

The front yard I think I posted pictures of. I removed the grass (mostly weeds). I have a HUGE avocado tree. So I covered the yard in black covering. Dug holes and planted some pretty white flowers in the back area. I made a path of stones around the tree and filled with wood chips...and then there is a place where I filled with white rock!

Okay...my QUESTION: WHAT TO DO WITH THE SIDE YARD and BACK YARD.

The Side yard (which is by the front door and the BBQ -that sits on the sidewalk). And the BACK yard (99% filled with HORRIBLE TERRIBLE MAN EATING WEEDS) - I'm SOOO NOT KIDDING!!!

I have over the last 4 years CUT down the weeds..only to have them grow back and ATTACK ME - BIGGER THAN LAST TIME. GRASS DOES NOT GROW...GRASS HATES ME!!

Short on funds for now...so looking for a way to "dig up the grass/WEEDS and keep the yard "okay" without allowing the weeds to come back. AGAIN!!!
AND...to NOT just be left with DIRT!!! I hate Dirt!!

I have a friend who suggested a few options:

#1. Put gravel down. The dogs can go on it and pee and there would be no problems. (It would be CHEAPER than buying FAKE GRASS.)

#2. Put in Fake Grass...BUT the Really good stuff is a lot of money so I would need to get the "not so good stuff"..and it looks icky!! (NOT THINKING I LIKE THIS IDEA) NOPE!!!

#3. Fill the ground with sand and cover it with INDOOR / OUTDOOR carpet!! Which will look just like grass...the dogs can still pee on it..and it goes right through! (Another Cheap way to handle it).

emoticon For those that have amazing yards (and mow forever)...forgive me for thinking of "FAKE GRASS".....But it's CA....and for the next few years...I don't have the funds for a gardener..I don't have TIME to pay more attention to the yard....and well I HATE THOSE WEEDS THAT KEEP SHOWING THEIR UGLY FACE!!!

emoticon So do any of you have suggestions?

emoticon P.S. I do have RED geraniums in the back along the fence!! They look great and will stay. And I have some Red flower Bush thing (okay see I'm not a gardener)...on the Back wall shelves that look great..so I'm not ANTI plants!!! LOL

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SSDOWNS 6/16/2013 4:04PM

    Spray with weed killer then cover with newspaper about an inch thick. Water this down to keep in place. But dirt over paper and plant grass or whatever you like.
We use newspaper in stead of the black paper cause it is cheaper.
emoticon

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BEBARB149 6/14/2013 1:36PM

    The black plastic that was suggested will cook/kill the weeds. If you can get it down before the weeds go to seed, they won't return. If you have things planted there that you don't want to lose, you might want to use landscape fabric instead so water and air can get through.

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ROMNEY3 6/14/2013 12:16PM

    Well Steph wish I had some helpful suggestions, but you know how much sun we get in WNY (NOT). Like Kathy said go ask either Home Depot or do you have a local nursery tht might be a asssistance? Most of the Mom and Pop places love to pass on there knowledge.



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WATERWEEZE 6/13/2013 7:39PM

    For now, until you really have the funds and time, kill the weeds, lay black plastic (agri cloth) over and put the rocks down. That will really take care of the weeds and still allow the dogs to have a pee place. Plant more geraniums, different colors and put in a sun loving bush. Just check with Home Depot or Garden Store for a good hardy sun loving bush (holly, lilac, even hardy rose) would be good bets and not expensive.

Wishing you luck, Sweet Steph!!

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LIGHTONMYFEET7 6/13/2013 5:55PM

    Oh..I have poured DOZENS of weed killers on these things....Dug them out of the ground...and dossed them in MORE WEED KILLERS.....Home Depot YES!!

I had a garden when my brother lived with me...all kinds of herbs....they were DROWNED IN WEEDS..and ALL OF THEM KILLED.

Don't want to mess with GARDEN until I get the Weeds handled!!
But thanks for the suggestion!

P.S. OOODLES OF DIRECT SUNLIGHT!! ROASTING HOT SUNLIGHT!!!

Comment edited on: 6/13/2013 5:55:58 PM

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PEGGYO 6/13/2013 5:50PM

    Beats me. but seems like you should kill the weeds first or they'll come back

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MERRYMARY42 6/13/2013 5:46PM

    go to Home Depot and buy some week killer first, and get to the roots of your weeds, buy some fertilizer and work it into your area beside the house, does it get plenty of sun? plant yourself a small garden, tomatoes, zucchini, pepper, just water and weed and a lot less water than a nice lawn, and who can afford the water bills anymore. and a few flowers, I sure don't have a green thumb, but do enjoy a few vegies, another thing is strawberries, low growing god ground cover and tastes good besides

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