Thursday, August 08, 2013
Nightingale and me...
Wow I have been telling everyone how I am pregnant in the Lord, and I am in a state of expectancy and birthing a new destiny and being promoted! Wow little did I know I was prophetically speaking that out!
Myself and my friend Celebrate arrived safely in Tulsa and was picked up at the airport by Surrender and Flutter (we all get covenant names of how Papa sees us...I am Lightheart)
We arrive at Nightingale's lovely huge home and there are 5 of us on fire for Jesus women!!!!
WHOOT!!!!!!!!! Nightingale is a bit frantic because she is getting ready for a date with her friend now boyfriend Media....Her first date date....whoot! Celebrate and I settle in and relax and unpack and get our rooms set up....
Fast forward the next day and we are in deep worship...waste of time to put make up on Lightheart...oh well all cried off...lol...Then the conference starts and what is the first thing they begin with is now is the time we are Birthing Our Authority!!!! What.....The whole conference was about the womb and new birth...wow I was meant to be there!
The week flew by with prophetic painting, flagging, shawling, worship, lots of new teachings,
Shabbat Dinner together, new connections, friends, love, healing....prayer....sweet sweet sweet..and very HOT....wow Tulsa is hot and humid....good thing for air conditioning!
My favorite parts was going to ICU which was soaking for an hour to beautiful music and kids and people would come up and give me a word from the Lord....Day one I was a hot mess with a whole pile of tissues from tears and grief overwhelming me...but all that got healed...thank you LORD....The second amazing favorite part was going to my prayer app....(appointment)
It was similar in some ways to the healing room with 3 people praying for me, but the difference was there were lots of intercessors in another room listening to the Lord and texting the person receiving the texts and giving it to the lead person...Major healing...all about trauma in the womb!!!! Yup I had to be there a divine appointment for sure!
The biggest surprise was being Ordained as a Minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I can now marry people, bury people ....wow ... lots of people spoke into my life as I sat with a group of other ordained ministers!!!!
So overall it was supernatural and over the top in everyway....All I had to pay for was a few meals all else was paid for and provided! God is so Good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad to be back in Seattle at a cool 80 degrees....ahhhhhhh....Not a big fan of Tulsa, but I will miss my Blue Flame Family!!!
Kids and Adults painting during worship
Flagger in training
Love you Sparkies out in Summer Sparkland
W H O O T!!!!
Sunday, July 07, 2013
So today July 6th is our 1 year wedding anniversary...what a joke...Our meet up today got cancelled because coward was still working and in eastern Washington...it' s all good. I had stuff in my car of his and dropped it off at his Aunt Hazel's house...she look stunned when she answered the door...not friendly at all???? I told her Richard and I were to meet but he texted me he was out of town and is it ok to drop his stuff off at her place? She said ok...I asked her about her health and she told me she fell down, and pulled up her pant leg...omg her knee was so swollen...I asked if I could pray for her knee and reluctantly she let me and I asked if I could give her a hug...another oh ok...the vibe was strained...Richard has told her something that makes her not trust me...
Fast forward to me in my car driving home and I decided to call Richard since we couldn't meet...I NEED CLOSURE...ANSWERS...ANYTHING...OMG he actually answered his phone for the first time in a month!!! He chatted about his work and how everyone is quitting...blah blah blah...Then I said I called to get closure...I asked Richard what really went wrong? And of course it was ...well you stole $2,100 from my account and wiped me out!??? WHAT ?
Ummm how about the truth...$125 + $125 rent and 300 food...that does not add up to $2,100
no wonder Aunt Hazel looked at me funny he is telling I stole $ from him....OHHHHHH I wanted to print out multiple copies of my May banking statement and send it to his entire family of my transactions...but today's sermon was on Vengeance is the LOrds...so I was ticked...
My next question was is this relationship salavable...HIs answer No...and He Was NOT WILLING TO DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THINGS BETTER....Hmmmmm interesting...I said ok...Just want you to know this conversation is being recorded in Heaven. He said he wants to MOVE ON...AND NOT BE MARRIED... I said so you are saying you refuse to do anything to improve our relationship, no mercy, forgiveness, grace......his answer Stop Nan I am Done...I said then why did you Marry me?
Relationships take work they are snarly, difficult, give and take...Sounds like you were not ready for a relationship, because you haven't forgiven your 1st and 2nd wife and your daughter...His pattern is to put a wall up and bale out..And he wants nothing to do with me as a friend...I said thank you because I can now close my heart to you and the hope I had and move on....That felt complete finally....A new life I felt free because I did all I could do on my part and God's knows I tried...
So the good news I did my show...it was awesome...I sold a bunch , had a ball and had people interested in Private Art lessons and kids camp!!! I made $210 in a short 2 hrs...awesome with great contacts...I will be there the next 3 Sat...My friend Michael helped me with my tent and hanging my show...what a great friend.
So it is a new beginning...I wish I didn't take his name Gorman...thinking of inventing my own name...I will be praying about that. MaYBE a G name for GG's sake...as in Nana GG...any ideas...
So here is a couple of shots and stuff sold...
Love you sparklers...
Loved my fun Cat painting ...lots of smiles on this one....it will be painted again...
Lion of Judah and the Holy Spirit
A series of Abstracts
Friday, July 05, 2013
Happy 4th of July!!!!
Had a serious melt down....My roommate decided she was NOT going to move in...omg! But I think the LORD saved me from her...she I saw when I went to get some of her stuff she is a full on HOARDER! Yup crap all over her floor, papers, clothes...rug filthy....so what I thought was a great match was not...now $650 in the red....Jesus help me!
This Sat will be our 1 year Anniversary....yippy...NOT...I need closure....I don't want a divorce...an Annulment would be better...Then I might get to claim Joel's social security...as it is now my status is married...don't think SS is going to give me Joel's SS with that status...
Met with the coward Richard last Sat...I had his mail and found more stuff...He looked worn out...he is NOT sleeping and NOT eating well...but why should I be concerned? Well because I still love the fool..Why should I love him? Only God knows I should be raging angry at this man who left me high and dry, who never returns my texts or messages, who is selfish, prideful has to be right, has unforgiveness, makes decisions that hurt others and are not loving, abandoned me. I should hate him, yet I pray for this man....I cry for him, my heart aches for him to turn back to the LORD...I mean who just ups and leaves without talking issues over...
It is criminal....Esp. since he knew full well I was making a lot less $$$ and would not be able to keep my place without some other income... The words "Get a JOB" still ring in my ears...
Well Mr. Perfect I am looking and scrambling because of your unloving, non commitment, and cowardly way of just abandoning your WIFE! Gee Mr. Communication is my specialty...yeah right... Do you sense a little frustration here....That's after this morning I was on my knees crying my eyes out asking Jesus for H E L P!!!! I am so done with men that can't step up and be the men they are supposed to be..Women out shine the men....Every Christian conference more women, in Healing Rooms for Volunteers...women...Intercessory prayer...women....Where are our men our covering....Will there be men in Heaven???? (That was a joke)
So he got his stuff I said I missed him asked him how he was doing ...and all he talked about was work....Work...Work...Work...that is his life...really it is...the guy is worked to death...but work is his god small g.
This weekend I asked to have a meeting...urgent...I just need to know where he is and what the hell happened to our marriage...What his next steps are...I need closure. My head still is in unbelief a person actually did this behavior....
The Good news God has my back I just found out in my area there is Jazz night and they welcome artist for an art walk...so the next 4 Sat. I will be selling my paintings and promoting my kids classes...My dil made me a website and cards. AND I got a call from an artist friend from Seattle Revival Center my new church she needs a sub for her art camp this next week
$22 an hour...whoot! That would help soooo much....God is so good and here is more...
This is why I love my life....
My Mimi's Passport pix...she and mama is going to Israel in two weeks
Jaren and Miral...too stinkin cute....
Dad my son Justin and Jaren at Great Grammas pool....
Red Neck Jaren on the 4th...he is out of diapers...whoot
And finally my MIMI passed out on the 4th of July...
Happy 4th....and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!
I love you Sparkies...keep me in prayer for finances!!!!
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