LIGHT1112   4,628
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Sunday, July 13, 2014

I read an article about people who choose a word to focus on for the year. Instead of making a New Year's resolution they pick a word. That word then becomes not only the focus for the year, but their guidance in making decisions. People pick words like "kindness" or "open". It's not New Year's, but I am picking the focus word "consistency". Any goal can be achieved through consistency. It is such a better word than "perfection". It leaves room for real life to happen while still working towards my goals. And if I have a day where I struggle with eating or tracking, or exercise it gives me the permission to move past mistakes and start again. That is what all the spark streaks are about. So I'm taking the focus off of perfection and onto consistency.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIGHT1112 7/15/2014 11:40AM

    Thanks PATSYB7!

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PATSYB7 7/14/2014 8:51AM

    I like this idea! Thanks for sharing.

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The good, the bad, and the future

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The good.....

Wednesday is my weigh-in day and the scale showed that I am down 2lbs. I am very happy with that. Efforts are paying off. I am trying to revel in the success and not give in to the fear that next week the scale will show me up 3lbs. I am focusing on the positive, but somewhere deep inside I am scared to the core that I will fail and that I cannot do this. Coming to sparkpeople and seeing all the success and encouragement is really vital to me taking a chance again. I wish I could personally thank everyone here for that.

The bad..........
Yesterday I was overcome with the urge for fattening food. The compulsion was so strong and I gave into it. It was like a pressure valve and if I didn't release it I would explode. I ate fattening food yesterday. It certainly wasn't my biggest binge ever and I was aware of it the whole time instead of going into that numb, mindless state. And it left me wondering why.....which brings me to:

The future..............
I have to discover why I do this. I have to figure out why I sabotage myself and do things that are clearly not in my best interest. Why does the desire for that food outweigh any logical argument, future goal, nutritional fact, warning, hope, motivation, or promises? What is this? I know that it has to do with feelings of self worth. But how do I fix that? How do you get self worth?

I need to find out.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELFMABV 7/13/2011 9:13AM

    OMG! This is all so true and speaks about myself and my "Bads". I am also working on figuring out why the urges are there and how to overcome them. Good luck to you and congrats for the acknowledgment of the urge!

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I didn't know what was missing

Friday, July 08, 2011

Motivation - it is a word that we "dieters" hear often. You just need some motivation. Just do it! What are you waiting for?

All those words from others - some well meaning some not - were meant to shake me out of my fog and get me going. If I could just find my motivation then everything would be full steam ahead.

But the problem was that when I looked deep inside myself for that motivation all I found was a big empty hole. I found shame, sadness, loneliness, and defeat. There was no motivation in there, and the fact that it wasn't there was just one more fault to add to the list of my many faults. It was one more failure.

The last few days I have spent a lot of time on sparkpeople looking at people's pages, reading blog entries, looking at pics, reading articles, looking at teams and this morning I realized something. This is where motivation lives.

I am not defective for not having a bottomless resource of motivation in me. The failures I have experienced in the past are too great. As I have my own successes that intrinsic motivation will build and grow. But for right now, for the beginning of my journey when the successes are small and the mountain seems too high I have sparkpeople and the many successes to be found on these pages. I can look at them, read them, and know that it can be done.

And that I can do it too.
In the past I was missing the motivation because I thought that I had to come up with it all by myself. Now I know that it is here - shared freely and for the benefit of everyone who needs it, motivation and hope.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I see you added me as a friend!THANKS! I added you too.

You are so right about motivation living at Spark. I used to think when I fell off the healthy-eating/exercising wagon, I was done for. But now I find all I have to do when I am struggling, is come here and I find motivation everywhere. Whether it's writing my own blog, reading others, or the myriad of articles and recipes and messages that are here, it all renews my dedication to my goal--and that is to stay healthy forever.

If I can help you, let me know. I will do the same!

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Good Morning Possibilities!

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

I'm sitting at the computer drinking coffee, eating my breakfast and contemplating my day. Anything can happen today and that is an exciting prospect. Today could be like any other day - fast food for lunch, lots of computer and TV time, plans for exercise that never happens, excuses, and going to bed feeling defeated.....or
Today could include a trip to the grocery store for healthy food, lunch that is healthy and delicious, exercise, maybe a walk with the dog, doing some tasks around the house that I have wanted to do.....
Many things could happen today - some are completely out of my control, but some are things that are entirely up to me. If I watch "just one more episode" of my favorite show (which turns into 3) or I get out and walk the dog that is entirely up to me. If I go grocery shopping or sit around and watch daytime TV that is up to me. If I go to the gym instead of watching summer reruns that is up to me.
I go through these phases where I feel so helpless, like the whole world is against me. I'm trying to see in my world around me that there are many things under my control. So many thing in my life I can change if I just do it. I do have power, I am not a victim of circumstance. My life is my own.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COMEONMA 7/7/2011 5:19PM

    Love this blog! Great way to look at things!
When I go home tonight and get ready for Criminal Mind reruns till midnight, this will finally help me shut the darn thing off!
It's up to me!
Thank you!

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Coming at this issue from many angles

Friday, July 01, 2011

I don't know if other people have had this experience, but I have tried to lose weight many times before and I have always used a single approach. One time it was a special diet that was going to be the answer or a new fitness program. This time I am attacking this problem from many fronts. Food: I have done a lot of reading on eating clean and this method of eating really speaks to me. It is drastically different from how I currently eat, so I'm going to introduce the principles of it one at a time and work towards being fully following that program by January 1st. I actually enjoy exercise, but I seem to have trouble staying with a program consistently. Reflecting back on the past six months I am accepting a few things about myself - 1. I can't beat myself up about missing a workout. It is counter-productive and just leads to me skipping more workouts. 2. I need variety - I need to change up my activities frequently to keep me interested. The third and perhaps most important piece of this that I have never included in my efforts before is the emotional piece. I am working through a book called "A Course in Weight Loss" by Marianne Williamson. It walks you through a series of writing exercises that gets to the root of the problem and requires that you reconnect with your spiritual relationship with God. I might not have noticed it before, but my spiritual life has declined as my weight has increased. This time I am going to use an approach that covers all the bases. I will be turning to friends, family and sparkpeople for support. Each day will bring new challenges and I will be prepared to face them.


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