Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I was going to title this entry addictive relationship but, some how the word abusive relationship seems more appropriate. For over 30+ years Iíve been in an abusive relationship. An abusive relationship with my scale. I know, I know, just throw the da** thing out. But, like all abusive relationships what a person is supposed to do is quite different than what actually happens. For a while I did get rid of my scale. For one year, I did not step on any scale what-so-ever. For whatever reason I bought a new scale. At first I limited the number of times I would get on. It started out just once a week, than it was twice a week and it just got worse from there. That number that I see totally determines the day I will have. If the number went down, I would have a good day. If the number stayed the same or worse went up, my day was crappy. How can three numbers have that much control over me. My self-esteem is often tied to those three numbers. But, today something happened.... I had an aha moment. The light bulb went on! I'm ending the relationship.
For the past three weeks Iíve been at a plateau. Those three numbers on the scale have not changed. Theyíre not going up but, they are not going down. Iím doing everything possible to get the scale to move. Nothing, Nada, Zip, Zilch. It is not moving. So this morning, I weigh myself and of course, itís the same number that Iíve been seeing for the past three weeks. But, I did something different this time; I took the time and took my measurements. When I first started my weight loss journey over a year and a half ago, I was taking my measurements once a month. For unknown reasons, I stopped and instead was relying on the scale. Well, you know what; I went back to my true friend, the tape measure. This friend tells me the whole truth Ė it told me that Iíve lost close to 26 inches of my body. Holy Frigt Batman, how awesome is that? I need to work on my relationship with the scale. I truly believe that we can work something out together but, for now, Iím thinking Mr. Scale is going into the back of my closet and my new bff will be the tape measure. I also need to remind myself of other things that I can do. I can run 5k's, I have more energy, my skin is clearer from eating healthier, I sleep better at night. I know it will be a struggle to end my relationship with the scale but, for my self-esteem, I need to do it.