Friday, July 27, 2012
Well, I am going through a lot of stuff right now.
I changed my user name because it is not really appropriate anymore, because of some other life changes.
Anyhow! I wanted to repost this thing I said about my absence:
Hi! I am so sorry everyone that I have been away from Spark, but I am a lifer so I will always lurk back! I got so busy that it was all I coudl do to just go to the gym and focus on some of my relationships... BUT I tell you, the time I spent on Spark day after day for almost a year REALLY made it easier to stay on track! The tools I learned on spark have been able to carry over into my non-spark life, and will always bring me back :-)
**I have even lost more weight since I was away, and I am usign the tools I learned here daily!
I am determined to not only keep off that baby weight (boy, I learned a LOT about how not to have that happen again, if it does!) but to also get rid of this back injury weight!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
While I must admit, I have gained back a little weight, I am not sunk. Some of my older Spark commrades may recall my struggles with chronic pain, and the discovery that at under 30 I had already started to suffer arthritis. It was horrible for me, I had just picked up a LOVE, and I mean L O V E, for running, thanks to spark. After I got accepted to my "dream college," at the end of 2011, I realized that I was on teh fast track to serious weight re-gain. All the stress of aplication and grade perfection, on top of the physical issues, had threatened a lot of my progress. But, old habits, even the good ones, die hard; thanks to spark.
I must admit, there has been a scale on my kitchen counter the whole time, even when I was overeating in the same room. There were whole grains, vegetarian treats, and plenty of balance in my food choices. I just kept slipping toward the end of the day, or going on streaks of "I failed and I have lost SO much weight that if I let myself gain 10 pounds under this life stress, I can just take it off in no time." WHAT?!?!? Yes, I actually told myself silly stuff like that. It is like my weightloss was money in the bank or something, like over 100 pounds of weightloss somehow afforded me 100 extra pounds of wiggle room if I wanted to just let go. Um, no. I guess I should be grateful that I even lost enough weight to haev such a silly thought, but caught it before I undid all my progress.
I have a list of things that I have learned during the last few months. I know that I started to realize this last time I was absent for a while, but it is SO clear to me now, I need to track my food. No matter what I am doing, I just need to set that time aside. i started to feel a little guilty because someone in my life had put down my food tracking, like it was selfish. Taking the time to do it was not much extra, but when I mentioned it I think this person thought that I was playing around on the computer instead of taking care of a commitment with them. I have tried to reason with this person, and some others, that my health is the core issue here, that this is not about vanity. Anyhow, now, I know. I cannot let even the most well meaning jibes to my food tracking and weight maintenance (and goal completion) drag me down. I am in so much more pain now, and after having lost so much weight I know that 1. I wiill be in a LOT more pain if I do not work at this again, and, 2. I have to do it, while the pain is still less than it coudl be.
Anyhow, I am always good for rambling. Always. But, I just wanted to get this little bit out of my head. I have a lot of homework to do. There are some other little things I learned, but I cannot jot it all down oline now. The main thing is that I am back again. Even if I cannot always post I know that I need to keep that tracker in reach.
The sparkpeople app does not work on my phone anymore, I guess my android version is too old (2.2) but I have a Kindle Fire now, thanks to the neccessity of school... The Sparkpeople app works great on Kindle Fire. I use it to track and I can get it done very quickly. The screen is much better than on my cell phone anyhow! Just gotta get it in, no matter how.
Oh, and I am excited that i am checking out the sparkpeople cookbook now. I was hoping it would have an index section for the less than 30 minute meals. It did!
Be successful! Make it happen!!!! If you are just back after a while, stick around and congrats! Teh habits you learn here really WILL stick. The basic, online, pre-spark book program has set me up with healthy habits that I come back to again and again. I am so grateful. Even when life gets hectic and my health is questionable, I know there is a way to get on track, and thankfully so much of it is still near second nature! Just gotta put it in action!
No more rambling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
So, here I am again! This semester has been pretty tough. I applied to Mills College in Oakland www.mills.edu and I was accepted. It was not easy, but about 30 pounds later I am going to be a Mills woman! lol. This has been one of teh most stressful periods in my clean and sober life. Not just because I am an almost 31 year old mom with serious family issues who is transferring to a competitive college, but because I let myself indulge in unhealthy food behaviors during this transitition. By allowing food to be a temporary coping mechanism I created a subtle undercurrent of self-loathing and self-defeat which has broken me down over time. Now that I am almost done with my time at this junior college, with final exams the last step, I am trying to plan for the next thing in my recovery. I have to. I am gaining weight, too much weight. Recovery for me is not just about being clean and sober, but about being in recovery from my food issues also. I was in the best shape of my life here on sparkpeople, it is almost unbelieveable, but I have the pictures (and the treadmill) to prove it. The investment in the treadmill was an investment in my not letting go of my physical activity despite my owrsening physical problems. But i am over it, emotionally I mean. I am tired of sitting around and "eating to feel better" which I already KNOW only makes me feel worse. Pretty much as soon as it comes out of the microwave lol. Or whatever I make it in. lol. At least I have been eating healthy, that is one thing I kept up!
Ok, so that is it. I jst remembered I am a leader on another team that probably has a glaring "inactive team leader" message, so I need to get over there. Teams are good, I tell you it really does cause accoutnablity. I wanted to come back but I could not get here with finals. As it is, I have to study. When I am done with finals, I wil be able to spend more time on here. BUt, in the mean time, I will just be tracking and tracking my food. It is a good thing I type fast now!
Monday, October 24, 2011
So, I am super late writing about this. But, I am also super busy! On October 11th, 2011, I lead a spark rally for the San Francisco Bay Area Sparkpeople team. Well, I tried! Most of the people canceled, things came up, or else I could not do it at the same time as people could participate. It was on a tuesday, so this caused a little trouble. However, I got it together!
I rallied a time keeper and a witness, both right there at Golden Gate Park, well, kinda right there! It was across the street. I developed a pitch, and I went around to gather participants at the last second also! It was a little crazy, but it was SO worth it in the end. I did not think it would have been so fun. When we started to jump we all started laughing also!
It was overall a crazy and fun time for me. I stuck around to get in a little walk.
I set it in Golden Gate Park, at Stanyan. It was a great little event, and I only wish that I would have gotten some Sparkpeople here for it, but I understand the schedule.
The girls who jumped with me all got little prizes from Sparkpeople too. It was pretty neat. I even gave the Lead manager over at Whole Foods and the time keeper (a parking lot attendant!) Sparkpeople prizes.
I would do it again!
So, if we ever have a Spark Rally for our Sparkpeople San Francisco team, you better come on out!
Yep, I woudl do it again.... Here are all of us who jumped.
Friday, September 30, 2011
I thought I would add a little note to this blog of mine. It has been awhile again. I have gone through some stress adjusting to the new school year, but I am getting back on track again. With stress, of course, came poor eating habits. But, today was a good day, I am on track. I have been more physically active lately also, though I don not always track it.
Today I went on a bike ride. I spend so much time at the computer for school that it is important for me to just go out and move, even if it is not some rigorous exercise. I know that I should not push myself right now, I have been sick. But, there are other reasons too, to just take it easy.
Anyway, I guess that is all for now. I am just trying to have positive and healthy stress management be a part of my life, and to learn how to handle a busy lifestyle without snacking away anxiety. I guess I could say one more thing, I realized that with my schedule it is more important to invest in things to use my time more efficently (like paper plates) than to tough it out. Environmentally speaking, I have no dishwasher, so the trade off is awfully fair. It is a "loss" either way. I mean, running the water endlessly, or tossing a plate. It is much deeper than that though, I mean, psychologically, it weighs on me and becomes a real downer. When my schedule does not allow me time to wash all the remnants of whatever it is because of a demanding study schedule, unless I take a break to do it... It makes more sense to really take a break, rather than make doing dishes a break.
Anyway, I guess that was it. Not sure why I went off on that tangent anyway. Maybe I am just relieved. No, I KNOW I am relieved. I hate having dishes in my sink!
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