Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Well, I just realized I'm 20lbs from where I began last year. I was wearing a size 12, now in a tight size 14, and slowly creeping into a size 16. As I was looking at my eating habits from last year, and I realized nothing really has changed except I used to exercise more then I do now. As much as I will love to blame my husband for being unsupportive, he never held a gun to my head to eat those foods I knew wasn't good for me. Then life happened, almost everything you can imagined hit, and now I need to regain strength and recommit. But this time I want to change my eating habits for the better instead of binging and exercising like crazy. I don't want to keep abusing myself and body. One day at a time can hopefully be a consistent motto. I overate today but hopefully tomorrow I can start anew and be gentle and loving with myself. I want to nurture myself to a healthy lifestyle. I apologize to myself for being so negative and hateful towards me. I went back to Stage 1 and pay attention to the strategies given to us. When I first started I was so excited about finding the site, I never completely followed all the steps in Stage 1 and just started dieting which meant eliminating or reducing food instead of finding a balance. Now I'm starting from scratch and when I look at my food diary in the future from 6/18/2009 (my current starting point) to the future, I hope to see definite changes. I was reading my blogs and I remembered how long it took me to reach the 170's and how hard I worked to get there and I'm there now and I can't go back to 192. I never created a healthy foundation for my weight loss, I just dieted, and now that is what I will set out to do. Create consistency, self-control, and wiser choices with my selection of food.