Sunday, June 13, 2010
Jumped on the scale and I'm already down five pounds. That's very encouraging. Soda has always been my biggest weight gainer so stopping cold turkey is what caused that initial drop. I already feel the different in my jeans which were getting just a little tight. And of course, I'm eating very healthy right now - lots of salads, lean meats, fruit, and healthy snacks (no more chips out of the vending machine). I even had pretzels the other day for a snack.
I haven't been tracking my food simply because I haven't known how. The stuff I've been eating has had so many ingredients I don't know how to record them. When a salad has lettuce, tomato, 2 different bell peppers, celery, mushrooms, and carrots it's a little hard to calculate the calories. The more ingredients the harder it is for me to put them down. For the curious though, here's a breakdown of the items I've eaten:
Breakfast: Red grapefruit 2 servings
Lunch: Salad with Italian dressing 2.5 servings
Bologna sandwich (out of turkey)
Snack:Pears 3 servings & 2 pretzels
16 oz of water
12 oz of diet dr pepper
planned for dinner: honey mustard chicken, pico de gallo with baked chips, and fruit
Breakfast: 2 servings of red grapefruit and a diet dr pepper
Lunch: Mongolian chicken with mushrooms, carrots, peppers, onions and rice(leftover from day before). Cooked in a garlic/teriyaki sauce
Snack: celery sticks and water
Snack: Cheese crackers
dinner: 3 oz of steak, salad, and peaches
snack: cherry tomatoes
Lunch: Mongolian chicken stir fry
Snack: Celery and water
dinner: hamburger with salad
Evening snack: carrot sticks and grapes
Planned for tomorrow
breakfast: grapes and everything bagel
snack: pretzels, water
lunch: sandwich and fruit
dinner: leftover honey mustard chicken
Dental Surgery - liquid diet - lots of water
Dinner - possibly macaroni and cheese or ramen noodles
Jello & Mac and cheese or ramen noodles
Thursday - Saturday
Unknown - depends on how my mouth feels
I don't know about anyone else but for me, now that I'm eating healthier I seem MORE hungry, rather than less even though I'm eating how I should be. And I'm once again constantly craving sugary things. Having been here before I know it will fade in about two weeks but until then it's going to be a definite battle.
I'm still jogging up the stairs at work and for now that's my exercise. Hopefully this time next week I'll be back down to 168 again and working on decreasing from there.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
I spent all day today dealing with trying to get dental work scheduled. Two of my wisdom teeth came in with cavities and they've gotten to the point that I'm in pain. I now have dental insurance after four years without it and the money to do it, so next Tuesday I'll be having them removed. I also discovered another reason I've been having such horrible headaches. Two fillings decided to take an extended leave of absence without notifying me (i.e. they are MIA now). I assume they don't plan to return so I'll be having them replaced (ha! take that fillings!) as well. In addition, two cavities decided to join the wracking-pain inducing party currently being held in my mouth so I'll be having those filled too. Such Fun.
To top it all off I'll be also undergoing a full mouth debridement (which means they scrape at all the plaque and chip it away - never had to have one on my whole mouth but my bottom front teeth always need it and that's never fun).
Suffice to say, at this point, I wish I didn't have to eat. Ever again. It's really not worth it. Between the pain in my body and the equal agony in my wallet, I'm sitting here wondering why I bother to eat at all. I mean, I get fat from it too. So that's like a triple tax on one task. Not only that, but I have to work out in order to keep from gaining the weight from eating the food that I have to pay for, which then damages my teeth, that I then have to pay to fix. ARGH! Is anybody else with me here?! Anybody feel my pain (figuritively speaking of course)?
*sigh* Of course, on the other side I'm faced with starvation, and subsequent death so I suppose I have little alternative really. In any case, I can be sure to be eating better (or not at all for at least two days) next week so maybe that will help me get back on the right track. I thought I ate really terribly today but I was below my maximum calorie count which surprised me (man, those sodas are a killer!) more than a little. You mean, I can actually eat food I like? Wow!
And yes, I was bad and at Chik-fil-a but it was a kid's meal so that's not too bad right? It's a start at least. Next time I'll try to convince myself to get 1 strip instead of 2.
In any case, my head is killing me and my mouth is trying to help so I've taken some pain medicine and I'm going to try and go to sleep. If my toddler will let me.
Special thanks for my wonderful new friend Bakertwin for reminding me about not posting my food - I fear that will not be the last time someone has to remind me (by all means - I may need a kick now and again - I'm so busy it's not even on my radar sometimes). I blogged tonight as a reminder of what I'm trying to achieve amidst all the chaos and that it can be done. I know it can - I've done it through worse than this.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Okay it's June. Bikini season is here. And my goal of being one piece ready was not reached. In fact I've gone backwards (which somehow in my heart I figured I would). I have gained all but about 2-3 pounds of my prior weight back. I would say it happened without me realizing it but I can't. Because I KNEW what I was doing. It was a conscious lack of caring. I allowed it. Each day I thought "I'll do better tomorrow" and then I would be weak the next day until finally I became weak every day. Mind you I still make healthy choices but the bad ones far outweigh them. I'm back to drinking Pepsi (not even diet!) once a day, hardly any water, fast food two times a week, and not tracking my calories (not that I really did that anyway). I'm so disappointed in myself I can hardly see straight.
I allowed myself to make up excuses - too stressed, not enough time, I don't really care what I look like, I'll lose the weight in six months after all the changes stop. The reality is I know "later" will never be here if I can't do this now. When I'm the busiest and most stressed is when I NEED the energy and optimism the most to keep going. Because more often than not I'd rather just take a nap every day and I'm consistently tired.
Mind you, I'm not being overly harsh on myself. I realize that I've gone through a huge amount of changes in a very short period of time: moving cross country, getting a full time job again for the first time in almost two years, re-enrolling in online classes at a local community college in May and immediately taking a three week course. I also have several clients that I work for independently on my days off and in my spare time. And most importantly, there's my daughter who is the reason I'm doing all of this. I am busier than I've ever been and I love that! I thrive on the stress but at the same time it wears me out too. It's a necessary thing right now while I try to make ends meet and finish my AA degree in the fall. Hopefully after that I will start attending paralegal school full time in the spring and go part-time at work.
Now that things are settling into a more regular routine and I know what I'm faced with, I need to come up with a plan that works for me to be able to still lose weight and be healthy. I mean really, if I eat better the weight should fly off. I walk up and down 3 flights of stairs five days a week six times a day. That's 360 steps in a day - I know, I did the math. And I don't just walk them - I jog them. Usually by the time I get to the top of the stairs talking isn't much of an option cause I'm panting (although after a month that's getting easier).
I know part of my problem is my schedule. Here's a typical workday in my life.
Wake up: 7 a.m.
Get me and Libby ready, leave by 7:45 a.m.
At work and ready for calls by 8:15 a.m.
1st break 11:30-11:45 a.m
Lunch 1:30 PM - 2
2nd break 5:00 - 5:15
Work ends 6:45
Pick up Libby and head home for dinner
Eat dinner, do evening routine, Libby in bed by 8:30 p.m.
8:30 - 10 Do some virtual assisting orders (about 30 mins a night), study if necessary (homework normally done on days off or weekends)
Rest and relax til 10 p.m., then bed.
Now mind you, I have Tues, Wed, and Sunday off so four days of the week are a hectic rush but three days of the week are a little slower paced (or non-paced if I choose). Right now those days are filled with personal errands and such as I catch up from being unable to do any of that for over a month. Soon that will ease up and those days will be freer.
So how do I manage to fit exercise and healthy meals into the equation with a schedule like that and still stay satisfied during the day? Because of the lateness of the meals (I've eaten at 11:30 a.m. for lunch and 5-6 for dinner for years) I find myself constantly hungry even if I've eaten well. I'm not allowed to eat on the "floor" because it's a call center so small meals are tough and a 15 min break is really short. I've taken to trying to fit healthy snacks in my purse - Nut clusters and crackers so I can grab my purse, walk downstairs, and wolf them down.
Does anyone have any suggestions for managing meals with a schedule like that? Do you pack lunches for the whole week on a particular day so you can grab and go in the morning? What kinds of things do you pack? Frozen Smart Choice tv dinners are getting old and I find myself eating in the cafeteria more often than not. The meals aren't really bad but I have no way to know calorie count. Not to mention Pop tarts and a Pepsi for breakfast are definitely not a healthy breakfast!
Also, is it enough to work out on Tues and Wed mornings for an hour? Will that have any impact, especially if I am doing the stairs at work? Is that enough of a work out?
I guess the worst part is, now that I know I've let myself do this, how do I get motivated to start again? The last time I did this without asking for help. I enjoyed encouraging and cheering on others but because I was successful so quickly I didn't really reach out for help. Now though, I desperately need encouragement, (maybe even some sympathy), and a gentle kick in the pants to figure out what to do and make it happen. The excuses have to stop but so does the mental berating and guilt. It happened, I allowed it to happen (gee, guess I'm human huh?), but it's not the end of the world and it doesn't mean I won't ever lose the weight. Chalk it up to a lesson learned, right?
I appreciate any and all suggestions, thoughts, and prayers.
Stay healthy everyone!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Well, it's the middle of February and while I haven't been blogging much, it's for good reason. Libby and I finally moved to Texas and I've spent the last couple of weeks handling everything from packing (and unpacking - yuck) to finding a daycare to completely outfitting an apartment. It's been a wild but very successful journey these last few weeks. While I haven't been logging any hours at the gym, I've been getting plenty of exercise - lifting, pushing, pulling, hauling and rearranging not to mention walking endlessly through stores, climbing the apartment stairs and lifting my daughter who is too scared to climb them. Who needs a gym when everyday is a workout?
Fortunately things are settling in. I'm anxiously job hunting as I've been almost two years without a J.O.B. and while I have a business, I'm too new to the area to expect it to be able to sustain me successfully financially. It's kind of like starting over. So I'm job hunting furiously (about 200 applications in 2 weeks) and have some possible interviews coming up next week (I hope). Once that starts I'll feel a lot more secure.
I'm still watching what I eat, as best as I can, but not closely so I'm still hovering between 165 - 170 which for now I'm okay with. I want to lose more and I will but right now I have to focus on other things. The good news is I'm starting a balcony garden and will have plenty of fresh fruits, veggies, and herbs to eat healthy with this spring!
Good luck to all of you in reaching your goals and remember, no matter what might set you back, as long as you stay focused on your goal, eventually you'll get there!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Okay so I haven't blogged since Thanksgiving and I'm sorry about that but once again, Libby and I are undergoing some huge life changes. Not long after Thanksgiving, Libby was denied for her medical insurance and food stamps renewal because of paperwork not being submitted by my college on time. As a result, I knew I could not attend college - we simply wouldn't survive. Not only that but there are no jobs here. Knowing I was going to be getting a large settlement check after a 9 year worker's comp lawsuit, I decided it was time to do something I'd been talking about for two years. We're moving to Texas at the end of the month.
I fly out on Monday for four days to make arrangements then return on Thursday to get Libby, pack up everything and drive south. I've been in a flurry of activity ever since deciding in mid-December that that's what we should do. I've been hard at work with my business since 1/4. In one week I met with or worked with 16 families, which is my highest level of activity ever in my business.
Through all the stress and changes I've managed not to fluctuate much. I'm still sitting at a steady 168 pounds and have managed to avoid my previous bad habits for the most part. I'm hopeful once I get to Texas to be able to pick back up on healthier habits and start exercising again. Until then it's just maintaining.
So I won't be back again until sometime in February or March, hopefully will news of more weight loss. Until then, keep exercising and making healthy choices everyone!
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