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So tired

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I'm totally exhausted today. I've got no real reason to be - I should have gotten about 8 hours of sleep last night, I think. I think it's because I'm cramping and spotting again (sorry, TMI, i know). I can't wait for this to stop - it's been almost 2 months that I'm dealing with this. Hopefully when I go to the doctors next week he'll give me something to either stop the spotting or help it along, clean things out so to speak.

I'm actually starting to psych myself up to start exercising. I'm hoping my DH will workout along with me (without complaining too much!). I told him I want to try and get about half and hour to 45 minutes in a day during the week. I want to eventually up that, but first I need to get through a whole 30 minutes, y'know? I know that's another area I run into problems in - endurance. The second my chest starts hurting (thank you asthma!) or my legs start aching, I want to back down. I really do try and push myself through it though.

Of course when I do that, I usually end up feeling lightheaded and dizzy by the time I step off the treadmill. :\

What I really want to do is join the Y down here in FL. I was a member in WA and I loved the yoga class I went to once a week. I love yoga period. It's the sort of exercise I'm good at (lol). I've always been pretty flexible - well until I started having serious back issues that resulted in lost feeling in one leg, but that's beside the point. Before I gained (what I think is) 100 pounds in the last ... what, year or maybe a little bit less - yoga was my stress relief and I loved it. Now I get so discouraged when I try and do simple stretches that were fairly easy last year but now are difficult or impossible. I'd also want to take advantage of their gym and free 'training' program they have.

I just have to get off my butt and find out how much it's going to cost. Hopefully it'll be reasonable enough that I can afford it. Otherwise it's the gym at our complex for me. Least until we can afford the Y.

I just really, really hope that it helps. I know I'm eating right so there's no reason the weight shouldn't start coming off, right? I think I'm going to look into adding chromium to my daily pills, since I think that might help. The last time I was able to drop a large amount of weight was when I went vegetarian, started taking a chromium-based diet pill (I know, I know, bad girl) and exercising about half an hour most nights. Between that and when I moved out of my parents' house and thus wasn't eating a whole lot (what? we were broke!), I dropped (I think) close to 100lbs.

I know the not eating part isn't really an option, but I'm hoping the other pieces will be what I need to make this work. Well, that and whatever else the doctor is going to give me/have me do.

I will say this - if he comes back and tells me that the only reason I'm not cycling is because I'm fat, I will either walk out or give him a piece of my mind. I KNOW this isn't because I'm fat. I've *always* been fat - seriously. Even when I was at my first goal weight, I wasn't a thin by any stretch of the imagination. Yet I had regular cycles and wasn't putting on tons of weight. I started putting on the weight when my cycles started going south and skipping here and there until they finally went away totally. I'm at almost 9 months since I had a period - it was within those 9 months that I ballooned up. My wedding set fit me 3 months ago - now it doesn't.

I just want my rings to fit again :( I think that right there will be a HUGE accomplishment.

Okay, enough whining - I need to go refill my water bottle.


And we're off

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Well, not really. I've been doing the South Beach diet for about a month now. As far as I can tell, I didn't lose anything on Phase 1. I'm not sure if I've lost anything on Phase 2 either, but I'll find that out next week when I go to the doctors.

My exercise plan will hopefully start next week (9/1), since I'll be going to a new schedule at work and be able to fit in a workout before we leave. I've got to make the effort, I know. It's just so hard, especially when I'm so exhausted all the time. Getting up in the mornings is hard enough as it is, the idea of cutting into my precious sleep by getting up earlier is ... not real pleasant. Unfortunately I don't see any other option. The new schedule has us working for 1pm until 10pm. Theoretically I could hit the treadmill after work, but will that do me as much good? And really, how long will I be willing to do it for? I can see it now - it's 10:30/11pm and we're finally getting home. I need to be up by 11, so if I try to work out, I won't be done until midnight, possibly after and won't be in bed until close to 2 or so.

If I do it before, we get home around 10:30/11pm. Stay up for a little to unwind and relax and then go to bed by 12:30/1am. Then, set the alarm so I'm up by 9:30/10, down to the gym and workout for at least 30 minutes, possibly 45. Then head back to the apartment, take my shower and eat breakfast and get ready to leave by 12pm.

I guess looking at it that way, I'd probably get more sleep working out after work, since as long as I'm in bed by 2, I can still get 8 to 9 hours of sleep in.

Gah! Either way it seems exhausting to me right now. :( Why can't there either be more hours in the day or fewer hours at work?

I think this is going to be the suckiest part of the whole deal. Easier once Lena gets down here and I have someone to workout with, but still.

Least I've got my eating under control for the most part.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LI_OZ1 8/27/2007 9:12PM

    I know exactly how you feel. It may not seem like it, but after a while, the exercise will give you much more energy, its just getting over the hump of the tiredness. I hope you can make the plan work, it will pay off in the long run!

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