Bad week - but didn't let it get to me!

Friday, February 10, 2012

What a week so far. Sunday night I got a call at 10 p.m. daughter-in-law taken to emergency - heart racing - couldn't get her breath etc. Took her for EKG - put her on a heart monitor and on oxygen etc. Hearing your 38 yr old son in tears - scared he is going to loose his wife - is there anything more heartbreaking? So I immediatley got dressed (was in my pjs) and off down to emergency. Luckily her heart calmed down - was able to breath again. It seems she may have arythmia - they are going to put her on a monitor to test.

Then last night - call again - now my grandson is in emergency - he is not quite 14 mths old. Very high fever - 106 - they put him on monitors and put him on a cold saline drip to get temp down. This has happened to him before last summer and he spent 4 days there - they couldn't determine the cause and now it is happening again.

So off to the hospital again - couldn't see my grandson but took my son back and forth from hospital/home to get stuff for them to stay with him. We have a great hospital in our area - one of the best in Canada for children - McMaster. They let the parents stay overnight with thier kids - supply them with some food, coffee and a place to eat. Chairs in the room convert to beds for the nighttime.

Hopefully they figure out what is happening so he and us don't have to go through this again. It is so hard to see a child lying there in discomfort with needles and monitors stuck all over him.

So, It hasn't been a great week for me. But, for once, I didn't use it as an excuse to let my health go - to stuff my face and blame what is happening. Something I've always done in the past. I need to get healthy and I need to lose the weight to be healthy. I have to still take care of myself even with everything that is out of my control is going on in my life.

We can be there for others but we have to remember to be there for ourselves as well.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ARCHERS33 2/10/2012 8:27AM

I'm so sorry for everything that's happening in your life! What a nightmare of a week. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. Report Inappropriate Comment

b`day cake at work - again!

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Most of the time I`m okay without having the sweets - limit myself to my treat of 2 lifestyle cookies with my tea at night`and I`m good...

But... it was another staff b`day today - so we all gather in the boardroom for chocolate cake - or apple struedels for those that don`t like cake. I would have usually opted for the apple struedel but before I went in there I looked up the calories on-line.

Almost 400 cal for one so even half of one was way too many calories for me to splurge on for something that I really didn't crave/want anyways so I said No Thanks! and just had my coffee.

About an hour later I opted to have two rye krisp crackers with some low fat cream cheese - total of 105 calories and quite a bit of fiber. Much healthier and more filling. Also no sugar let-down as others had.

I'm happy with the choices I made today - will help me when next b'day comes around - next week!

S

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JKANT88 2/11/2012 9:16PM

Great job sticking to your guns! I went through the same thing during our last staff meeting when the principal brought in doughnuts for everyone (and no other options). I didn't take one and felt great after I left knowing I made a good choice. Report Inappropriate Comment

KURS10B 2/7/2012 6:48PM

Hard to pass up that cake sometimes. Good job making a better choice! Report Inappropriate Comment

how come when I lose - I see myself fatter??????

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Today I did the dreaded - I went through my summer clothes as I'm leaving for a week in Cuba soon.

Even though I weigh less than I did last year the reflection in the mirror looked even larger. For some reason when I start to lose weight I feel like I'm even bigger than when I started.

Is it because I think the weight loss should show even more than it does - that I should suddenly look lke the person I want to look like? Instant gratifcation of a job well done?

One month does not mean my thighs are going to be thin without the loose skin/folds or that my tummy roll will disappear. In fact even when I went too thin (people thought I was becoming anorexic) I still had the roll and the thighs. Maybe that is why I started to go to the extreme.

I will have to keep that in mnd this time - that the goal is to be healthier - not to try to look like I'm 30 or 40 oh heck even like I'm 50 again. I will not ever look like that again and I have to realize that is okay. I just have to be healthy!

BH will be looking at the young girls in the bikinis - but then again I will be looking at the guys as well - it's human nature. Looking is okay - just can't judge yourself by others.

Good news - I fit into some shorts that I didn't fit into last summer! Also a couple of pairs of dress pants for work - so I have to take that and use it to keep me going.

I am winning at this!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LESLIESENIOR 2/5/2012 9:56PM

Ahhhhhhhh.......we women are victims of the media and all the surgically enhanced, super thin, photo retouched stars that mess with our heads. Don't let your head run riot. When I started Spark last June, I just wanted to lose the 6-7 lbs. I had gained when I started walking and running consistently. Yes, I gained weight. But, as I have continued to get my body, mind and spirit healthier, I have deleted my weight ticker and replaced it with a fitness ticker. At almost 60, I now look at all my cellulite, scars, broken veins, and wrinkles as awards for a life well lived. You are so smart to evaluate the "body image" problem that we all have. It is only destructive and has nothing to do with our value as a person or our fitness and health. Thank you for sharing so honestly. It gave me a chance to reflect. Awesome. Leslie Report Inappropriate Comment

PMFISH 2/5/2012 2:52PM

Sounds like you are on the right track and doing well by the clothes fitting. Keep up the good work and just love yourself right now and love getting healthy! I don't see my size so much, just my physical limitations which is due to bad lungs. Just happy that I can take care of myself. Have a great weekend and great trip. Report Inappropriate Comment

RMNA2607 2/5/2012 12:49PM

ITs because, when we are big, we lose our hability to see how we really look like. When u start loosing weight you come back to earth and see how you really look like, so you think your too big even though you loose weigh. That happened to me before. We just need to be patient and go for a healthier life. Kisses Report Inappropriate Comment

SMURFETE09 2/5/2012 11:40AM

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you know you shouldn't... but you really, really want to

Saturday, February 04, 2012

Saturday - decided that today I would eat whatever i wanted for supper- have a splurge day. Hubby does all the cookng - gives him a night where he doesn`t feel bad about maybe not cooking something I can't eat - or eat very much of.

But - guilt kind of eats at you - you know you shouldn't but you really, really want to...

So I compromised... ate real light all day and for dinner - even though not really what I should be eating - so concessions were made to at least make it a bit healthier. Smaller portion of meat (all fat removed) - low fat cheese - lots of veggies (for me!). But the roast potatoes.... I can't resist so I will eat them - just a bit less than I would have before I started on this quest to health.

Still recorded all that I'm eating - can't cheat there - only cheating myself and the scale will rat on me anyways next Friday. Made sure I did my exercises and weights as well.

All in all - bad yes.... but I can live with this - tomorrow is another day and allowing myself to indulge now and then keeps me going on the diet longer - which is a good thing.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMLILA 2/5/2012 1:10AM

I'm seeing a lot of people having FREE days today me included... remember this is a lifestyle, not a "Diet" and we can't be on it everyday, we still have to live... just setting priorities. Report Inappropriate Comment

PMFISH 2/4/2012 9:41PM

Consistency is what you want. Most people will have a cheat day, but like you do it in moderation. Keep up the good work! Report Inappropriate Comment

just wanted to say thank you!

Friday, February 03, 2012

thank you to everyone that read and commented on my blog - Cancer - a very, very ugly word.

Your kind words and thoughts really help. And to those that are going through this in their lives - my thoughts are with you.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 2/4/2012 10:45PM

Sweetie, you're welcome. The only way to get through this disease is with faith, hope, support, encouragement and determination. Prayers help too. Report Inappropriate Comment