Wednesday, February 16, 2011
This is a beautiful poem.....
A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.
When broken bodies lay about
And blood was everywhere,
The sirens screamed out eulogies,
For death was in the air.
A mother, trapped inside her car,
Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
Oh, God, please spare my boys!
She fought to loose her pinned hands;
She struggled to get free,
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.
Her frightened eyes then focused
On where the back seat once had been,
But all she saw was broken glass and
Two children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
She did not hear them cry,
And then she prayed they'd been thrown free,
Oh, God, don't let them die!
Then firemen came and cut her loose,
But when they searched the back,
They found therein no little boys,
But the seat belts were intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
And was traveling alone,
But when they turned to question her,
They discovered she was gone.
Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
In beseeching supplication,
Please help me find my boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
Their jeans are blue to match.
One cop spoke up, They're in my car,
And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them there
And gave them each a cone,
Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.
I've searched the area high and low,
But I can't find their dad.
He must have fled the scene,
I guess, and that is very bad.
The mother hugged the twins and said,
While wiping at a tear,
He could not flee the scene, you see,
For he's been dead a year.
The cop just looked confused and asked,
Now, how can that be true?
The boys said, Mommy, Daddy came
And left a kiss for you.
He told us not to worry
And that you would be all right,
And then he put us in this car with
The pretty, flashing light.
We wanted him to stay with us,
Because we miss him so,
But Mommy, he just hugged us tight
And said he had to go.
He said someday we'd understand
And told us not to fuss,
And he said to tell you, Mommy,
He's watching over us.
The mother knew without a doubt
That what they spoke was true,
For she recalled their dad's last words,
I will watch over you.
The firemen's notes could not explain
The twisted, mangled car,
And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.
But on the cop's report was scribed,
In print so very fine,
An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
I decided to pick up this handbook that I was given in my grief recovery class. It had been a long time since I had read it and I thumbed through it to try and jog my memory a bit. A particular chapter stuck out to me and I flipped right to it. I just had to share what I found. I really identified with this certain chapter and thought that it really pin-pointed how I was feeling. Remember when I said that I felt like I was losing my 'umpf'? Well I think I figured out why! I've paraphrased some of the reading from this point on and am getting my information from "The Grief Recovery Handbook", by John W. James and Russell Friedman.
Almost everyone in our society has some kind of inadequate and inappropriate information they've stored in their mind concerning death and grieving. It's only natural for a griever to seek solace from those around them. However, in a short amount of time it becomes clear to the griever that friends and associates are not of much help. Even though they mean well, they often say things that can seem inappropriate to someone who is dealing with a loss.
--They don't know what to say
--They're afraid of our feelings
--They try to change the subject
--They intellectualize (ex. "He's in a better place." "You'll find somebody else." "God will never give you more than you can handle.")
--They don't hear us
--They don't want to talk about death
--They want us to keep our faith
All of this teaches us to "act recovered." Understanding this aspect of grief is enormously important. A false image of recovery is the most common obstacle all grievers must overcome if they expect to move beyond their loss. "Academy award recovery" is it's name.
The vast majority of comments a griever hears appeal to the intellect, thus discouraging the expression of feelings. Such intellectualizing increases a griever's sense of isolation and creates a feeling of being judged, evaluated, and criticized. In a short amount of time, the griever discovers that he or she must indeed "act recovered" in order to be treated in an acceptable manner. We want the approval of others. We all like praise and compliments. We all want to be seen as strong and mature. We all want to feel like a part of the group. Since approval is such a powerful aspect of our social skills, we try to conform to the ideas suggested to us.
As a direct result of living in the deception of academy award recovery, many people experience a kind of false recovery based on their convincing performance. This can lead to a loss of aliveness and spontaneity. Many people fall into a quiet desperation--sometimes feeling good, sometimes feeling bad, but never being able to return to a state of full happiness and joy.
It's all starting to make sense now....
The end of the chapter told me to please read on and that this was the book for me...so we'll keep you posted! Hopefully reading this through a second time will help!
Please don't think I've felt discouraged by any of your comments in the past!! This isn't what I was referring to! I appreciate each and every one of them and feel honored you take the time to listen. This all pertains more to the comments I have heard in my day to day life.
Friday, February 04, 2011
I have so many things to be positive about, it's hard to pick some specifics! One thing I'm particularly grateful for today is that I work with someone who is dedicated to living a healthy lifestyle, just like me! This helps so much in keeping me accountable on a daily basis!
Just to give you one example from many, yesterday we were given SIX dozen doughnuts from a customer! I was being tortured by having to sit by them for a couple of hours as I did some work in the back. Guess what she did? She walks back there and says, "Wow, that has to be hard!" I looked at her with big eyes and was like, "YES, it is!!" She then comes and puts them nicely in a bag and scoots them away from me. She didn't say anything as she did it, she just nicely stashed them away and walked off. It was a relief to atleast get them out of my eye sight and out of smelling range! How cool was that?!! Thanks THATS_LOVELY101, my waist appreciates you!
Another positive is that my eyeliner hasn't smudged in four years!! Yep, that's right! I've got permanent eyeliner, (it's a tattoo), on my eyelids and therefore, I hardly have to spend any time doing my makeup! I just throw on some foundation and mascara and I'm good to go! I never have to spend another dime on eyeliner or worry about smudging it. It saves me so much time in the morning, plus I don't look like death when I wake up, lol!
One more positive for the day is that I have such supportive parents! When school is cancelled, (which it has been nearly all week due to the blizzard), they step up and watch the kids for me during the day while I go to work. Not only do they watch them, but they meet me in the parking lot at work to pick them up in the morning. When it comes lunch hour, I go to their house and enjoy a home cooked meal by Mom and some precious time with my kids. Then, when I get off work on these days, they are sitting there waiting for me in the parking lot with the kids. I couldn't ask for anything more!
Here's a couple pictures of my daughter and her Papa, enjoying a dip in the hot tub yesterday! Never mind that there's over a foot of snow on the ground, that doesn't stop our family! I remember being out there with him as a kid, growing icicles on our hair as the snow would be falling around us. Ahhh, such great memories!
Get An Email Alert Each Time LESLIES537 Posts