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I'm so lucky to have an angel who would do this!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

This is a beautiful poem.....


A drunk man in an Oldsmobile

They said had run the light

That caused the six-car pileup

On 109 that night.


When broken bodies lay about

And blood was everywhere,

The sirens screamed out eulogies,

For death was in the air.


A mother, trapped inside her car,

Was heard above the noise;

Her plaintive plea near split the air:

Oh, God, please spare my boys!

She fought to loose her pinned hands;

She struggled to get free,

But mangled metal held her fast

In grim captivity.


Her frightened eyes then focused

On where the back seat once had been,

But all she saw was broken glass and

Two children's seats crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen;

She did not hear them cry,

And then she prayed they'd been thrown free,

Oh, God, don't let them die!

Then firemen came and cut her loose,

But when they searched the back,

They found therein no little boys,

But the seat belts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad

And was traveling alone,

But when they turned to question her,

They discovered she was gone.


Policemen saw her running wild

And screaming above the noise

In beseeching supplication,

Please help me find my boys!

They're four years old and wear blue shirts;

Their jeans are blue to match.


One cop spoke up, They're in my car,

And they don't have a scratch.

They said their daddy put them there

And gave them each a cone,

Then told them both to wait for Mom

To come and take them home.


I've searched the area high and low,

But I can't find their dad.

He must have fled the scene,

I guess, and that is very bad.


The mother hugged the twins and said,

While wiping at a tear,

He could not flee the scene, you see,

For he's been dead a year.



The cop just looked confused and asked,

Now, how can that be true?

The boys said, Mommy, Daddy came

And left a kiss for you.

He told us not to worry

And that you would be all right,

And then he put us in this car with

The pretty, flashing light.


We wanted him to stay with us,

Because we miss him so,

But Mommy, he just hugged us tight

And said he had to go.

He said someday we'd understand

And told us not to fuss,

And he said to tell you, Mommy,

He's watching over us.



The mother knew without a doubt

That what they spoke was true,

For she recalled their dad's last words,

I will watch over you.


The firemen's notes could not explain

The twisted, mangled car,

And how the three of them escaped

Without a single scar.

But on the cop's report was scribed,

In print so very fine,

An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PCOH051610 3/1/2011 2:07PM

    All of us who have our own guardian angels know that this stuff does happen. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.

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STFY31 2/25/2011 3:58PM

    I loved this....Thank you!!

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SHERLYN-WILL 2/25/2011 3:50PM

    LUMP in throat and tears in my eyes!

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TRANSFORMWE 2/22/2011 9:44PM

    So beautiful. And tear-inspiring.


Comment edited on: 2/22/2011 9:49:38 PM

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WINNIEVIOLA 2/21/2011 8:16PM

  I believe in angels absolutely. I've got a book of incidents that couldn't have happened any other way but angelic influence.

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FLOWER1967 2/19/2011 5:57AM

    That is so lovely.....

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OPALMOON 2/19/2011 3:03AM

    Hi Leslie,

i have come across this one a number of times, and it is great to be reminded of it.
Thanks so much for sharing it - and yes, angels seem to be there for us when we most need them!

Blessings and hugs, Nattacia

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MOMFAN 2/19/2011 1:30AM

    emoticon

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GWENAEL 2/18/2011 10:43PM

    Awesome!

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ACCEPTMYSELF 2/18/2011 2:19PM

    How beautiful! I have chills! emoticon emoticon

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ABB698 2/18/2011 1:39AM

    Powerful! All I can say is (sniffle) and Wow!
I have a son who is an angel, and my Dad got in a really bad accident, and as weird as this may sound, I swear I saw my son sitting on my Dads shoulder in the hospital. He should have been so much worse off, and Nicky watched over him, I'm 110% sure of that!
Hope he and Chris are playing catch, watching motocross, something fun up there!
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SHERRY257 2/16/2011 11:14PM

    Thanks for sharing this. I believe there are angels among us. emoticon

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IUHRYTR 2/16/2011 9:35PM

    I believe there are angels among us to guide and protect us. I think of the car crashes others caused that resulted in my wrecked cars and physical injuries, but know how much worse they could have been. Someone was watching over me those times. -- Lou

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ANDREWS_MOM 2/16/2011 7:19PM

    emoticon crying here too.....

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 2/16/2011 7:09PM

    And I am all choked up as well.

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BEBE1964 2/16/2011 6:17PM

    I have chills and goosebumps! emoticon

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LIBBYFITZ 2/16/2011 6:09PM

    emoticon a beautiful story! Thank you!

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BOMBCHELL23 2/16/2011 2:15PM

    Tears streaming down my face now! That was so beautiful and I live right near a 109.

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LIVIN2LOVE1 2/16/2011 2:08PM

    crying.

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JHADZHIA 2/16/2011 2:03PM

    emoticon emoticon
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Its wonderful!!

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DUSTYGIRL25 2/16/2011 1:53PM

    Wow! A very powerful poem.

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PRUPLEBEAR 2/16/2011 1:24PM

    Thanks for the cry!!! I think I needed it!

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CASILAYNE 2/16/2011 1:18PM

    Thank you for sharing that.

I'm crying like a baby. What a beautiful poem.


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RAINBOWFALLS 2/16/2011 1:08PM

    Oh, so nice - my cousin's daughter was in a very bad car accident yesterday and barely holding on. please pray for her

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YESITSDEB 2/16/2011 12:29PM

    chills and tears..............AWESOME! emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 2/16/2011 12:21PM

    This give me gooesbumps and tears each time I read it!

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Academy Award Winner!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I decided to pick up this handbook that I was given in my grief recovery class. It had been a long time since I had read it and I thumbed through it to try and jog my memory a bit. A particular chapter stuck out to me and I flipped right to it. I just had to share what I found. I really identified with this certain chapter and thought that it really pin-pointed how I was feeling. Remember when I said that I felt like I was losing my 'umpf'? Well I think I figured out why! I've paraphrased some of the reading from this point on and am getting my information from "The Grief Recovery Handbook", by John W. James and Russell Friedman.

Almost everyone in our society has some kind of inadequate and inappropriate information they've stored in their mind concerning death and grieving. It's only natural for a griever to seek solace from those around them. However, in a short amount of time it becomes clear to the griever that friends and associates are not of much help. Even though they mean well, they often say things that can seem inappropriate to someone who is dealing with a loss.

--They don't know what to say
--They're afraid of our feelings
--They try to change the subject
--They intellectualize (ex. "He's in a better place." "You'll find somebody else." "God will never give you more than you can handle.")
--They don't hear us
--They don't want to talk about death
--They want us to keep our faith

All of this teaches us to "act recovered." Understanding this aspect of grief is enormously important. A false image of recovery is the most common obstacle all grievers must overcome if they expect to move beyond their loss. "Academy award recovery" is it's name.

The vast majority of comments a griever hears appeal to the intellect, thus discouraging the expression of feelings. Such intellectualizing increases a griever's sense of isolation and creates a feeling of being judged, evaluated, and criticized. In a short amount of time, the griever discovers that he or she must indeed "act recovered" in order to be treated in an acceptable manner. We want the approval of others. We all like praise and compliments. We all want to be seen as strong and mature. We all want to feel like a part of the group. Since approval is such a powerful aspect of our social skills, we try to conform to the ideas suggested to us.

As a direct result of living in the deception of academy award recovery, many people experience a kind of false recovery based on their convincing performance. This can lead to a loss of aliveness and spontaneity. Many people fall into a quiet desperation--sometimes feeling good, sometimes feeling bad, but never being able to return to a state of full happiness and joy.
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It's all starting to make sense now....

The end of the chapter told me to please read on and that this was the book for me...so we'll keep you posted! Hopefully reading this through a second time will help! emoticon

*EDIT*
Please don't think I've felt discouraged by any of your comments in the past!! This isn't what I was referring to! I appreciate each and every one of them and feel honored you take the time to listen. This all pertains more to the comments I have heard in my day to day life.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LA_MARY 2/21/2011 11:16PM

    Leslie, I'm so glad that you have read this good advice. I think it's so true, that our society today just wants people to "get over it". Yet there will be times, even when you are feeling good and happy and settled, when things will surface again. Just listen to the feelings and be really kind to yourself. I am so proud of you. emoticon

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SM-ARTGIRL 2/21/2011 5:28PM

    Thank you Leslie.
My mum has made herself sick with her "acadamy performance" in the four years since my dad died. The best gift I can give her is to allow her to sit and feel her grief, she gets caught up in talking or activities.
I grieve for my darling dad too.
And other losses. My sister died when I was 20, she 24. I remember well meaning person saying, about 6 months after- "you're alright now, it's your parents that need support"- set me into acadamy performance for years!
You are doing great, knowing where you are emotionally, dropping the pretense in a safe space, so healthy.

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Comment edited on: 2/21/2011 5:33:47 PM

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RUN2MYDREAMS 2/19/2011 9:28AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOMFAN 2/19/2011 1:33AM

    emoticon

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ACCEPTMYSELF 2/18/2011 2:30PM

    Very true... I am glad this book is helping you. Most people have not been through these situations and I think we all just want to make to make the people around us feel better.

Thanks for being the wonderful positive person you are and keep us posted!

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PATTISPAGE 2/17/2011 9:29PM

    Great blog ~ thanks for writing and sharing. Most people mean well ~ you have great insight!

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LZY0108 2/17/2011 11:02AM

    This makes alot of sense! Death and grief are such a hard topic for people. Especially ones that haven't dealt with such a huge loss such as yours. I think its scary cause they start to try and empathize with you and that forces them to go to a scary place... losing a loved one themselves.. I could see how trying to act okay becomes easiar to do around people...

you are such and inspiration! feeling all your feelings and validating every one I think is what helps us heal and become stronger.. you are extremely strong, no matter what or how your feeling. you have come out on top! your such a warrior in my book... Its so awesome youve put this up, Im sure a lot of people will be helped and can relate to it... Great blog! emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/17/2011 11:06:17 AM

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MOMOF2TONI 2/16/2011 4:20PM

    emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYME47 2/16/2011 3:34PM

    That sounds like a great book. I hope that here in cyberspace you feel like you can just be yourself and not pretend to be "all better" when you don't feel that way.

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KANSASROSE67 2/16/2011 2:59PM

    I'm so glad you've found this book and that it's helping you. What you've written makes perfect sense to me. Hugs!

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REJ7777 2/16/2011 2:46PM

    I've heard the same things from others who've lost loved ones. That they're expected to "get over it" while they're still grieving. I've read that the grief process can be *messy*. There are a lot of ups and downs. One day, you can feel almost *normal*, and the following day be in the pit of despair.

I just read an interview by Liam Neeson, whose wife, Natasha Richardson, died in a skiing accident almost two years ago. In an interview for Esquire, he said, "It's easy enough to plan jobs, to plan a lot of work. That's effective. But that's the weird thing about grief. You can't prepare for it. You think you're gonna cry and get it over with. You make those plans, but they never work. It hits you in the middle of the night—well, it hits me in the middle of the night. I'm out walking. I'm feeling quite content. And it's like suddenly, boom."

In time, most people do learn to live with the loss. emoticon emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 2/16/2011 9:59AM

    Glad you posted this. I need to reread this book. You are awesome. emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 2/16/2011 9:43AM

    Leslie, I understood completely what you were referring to, and it all made sense! I'm one of those who, for being being a "talker", gets all flustered in the area of grief, because I know that the cliche' sayings are not helpful, and, not having experienced many losses of loved ones, not sure what I would want someone to do or say for me. Grief is a very complex and sometimes confusing state, and what I hope is that I would just be someone a grieving person would feel comfortable around, with words or no words, and just know that I love and care for them. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BOMBCHELL23 2/16/2011 8:59AM

    I have not hear this before but it makes complete sense, I need to look up that book for my Mom. She is seriously struggling with my Dad's death last July and I don't know how to help her. I try my very best but in the end I know it's never enough. She cries and weeps at the oddest times and so I just hold her. I try to check on her every day and clean her house once a week but I know it is not enough. You've given me hope once again.

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CULACCINA 2/16/2011 7:22AM

    People do what they can, and what people can is not always what we need…
When I started to walk the grieve path, I used to get really angry at people who would say the dumbest things to me about my mom. I remember that an elder uncle of my dad called home and yelled at me: “How come nobody called to let me know she died!” You can figure how rude my reply was, but the poor thing was 97 years old :S
My therapist helped me realize that in order to say something adequate; people need to put themselves in your shoes. And when you lost a loved one, it hurts way too much.
People do what they can, and it would require someone with a lot of courage (and a masochism quota :P ) to step in.
This idea made me feel better, because that awkwardness means for me now that those people can’t even think of going though something like we did, but they still want to be there for us. Even if it means being uncomfortable.

Hugs, girl!

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SWEETNEENI 2/16/2011 6:36AM

    emoticon

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KKP4673 2/16/2011 1:24AM

    I so appreciate your honesty! I support you in your journey.... Grief is so difficult... so very difficult...

Blessings to you!

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ERIKO1908 2/16/2011 12:35AM

    Thank you, Leslie, for sharing. I'm in a position at work where it seems this information will be quite useful soon. Wish that were not the case! I can't begin to imagine the loss & I'm hoping I can take a bit of insight into the situation with a co-worker. Thanks again for sharing!

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JHADZHIA 2/16/2011 12:22AM

    All too true. We do need training in the proper way to console others who grieve. Its usually just the same old tired shop worn platitudes because we don't know better.
The only way we can really know and truly understand is if we are going through it ourselves.. Fortunately I am not. All I can say is I can't imagine the pain you are going through :( and wish there was something I could do for you..
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SWEETMAGNOLIA2 2/16/2011 12:10AM

    This was such a helpful blog to me as I realized that was exactly what I've done this past year. "Put on a show" for others and myself. Your blog shows how unhealthy this is. Thank you.

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SHERLYN-WILL 2/15/2011 11:28PM

    Thanks for sharing... I do understand what the author was saying. I was so stinkin' irritated the other day.. I WAS in such a hurry.. and I posted a comment on your "NOW WHAT" blog and it never posted.. it just got lost in cyberworld... and I never came back and posted again...
I am sorry! I know each comment is important to you!

I will post on it again tomorrow!
HUGS to you!

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CAROJONES 2/15/2011 11:25PM

    Thoughtful and so true. Thanks for sharing!
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Today...

Friday, February 11, 2011

I'm holding my head up high and counting my blessings emoticon

I'm reminding myself that "Mama said there'd be days like this." emoticon

I'm being shown once again how much my SparkFriends care for me emoticon

I'm feeling like it's okay to take that superwoman cape off and hang it up for a while. Afterall, I am human (even if I have to be reminded of it) emoticon

I'm reassured by knowing that although my life didn't turn out as I expected, I am EXACTLY where God intended on me to be! emoticon

Thank you ALL for helping me to find my way! emoticon

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Oh and btw, I'm also rocking a dress, tights, and a hot pair of high heeled boots! If I'm gonna feel crummy on the inside, by God I'm gonna look HOT on the outside! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIKETOHEIGHTS 2/15/2011 9:28PM

    emoticon Rock that Dress!

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LZY0108 2/15/2011 12:28PM

    emoticon Go girl!

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STEINERMOM 2/15/2011 11:42AM

  Love the spirit and the attitude! Hope that you are feeling better now than you were when you posted this! Take care.

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GWENAEL 2/13/2011 12:06AM

    emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 2/12/2011 3:44PM

    Thanks, me too!

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REDRUNNERMOM713 2/12/2011 11:17AM

    Love the positivity girl!! Do we get to see pics of you rockin your outfit?? Keep a smile on your face beautiful!

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WARMSPRINGDAY 2/12/2011 8:45AM

    Great upbeat stuff. So proud of you! I know exactly what you mean about hanging up your superwoman cape. I've done the same thing this week.

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RAINBOWFALLS 2/12/2011 7:52AM

    You are too funny - I love the positive comeback you always find! emoticon

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DUSTYGIRL25 2/12/2011 3:10AM

    Where's the pics. of that rockin girl?
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ABB698 2/12/2011 3:05AM

    I'm sure your boots were made for walking and that's just what you did! Work it Girlie! emoticon

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TEMPEST272002 2/11/2011 10:36PM

    emoticon emoticon Glad today is a little easier.

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JHADZHIA 2/11/2011 10:22PM

    emoticon emoticon
You do rock!!!

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SHERRY257 2/11/2011 9:20PM

    You rock! emoticon

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KTMAE2006 2/11/2011 9:18PM

    Smile! Its contagious!

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REJ7777 2/11/2011 9:01PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ELLFIN3 2/11/2011 7:51PM

    emoticon for you!!! emoticon attitude!!! emoticon emoticon

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MOMOF2TONI 2/11/2011 7:40PM

    You go girl!!! You rock!
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LUNADRAGON 2/11/2011 7:25PM

    You DO look hot! Ya gotta keep warm on these cold winter nights!

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GWENAEL 2/11/2011 7:03PM

    You rock!

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RUN2MYDREAMS 2/11/2011 6:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NOMOEXCUSES13 2/11/2011 5:21PM

    I'm glad you are feeling a little better.....we are all here for you babygirl...hold on....stay strong....

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IBSHAUN 2/11/2011 5:18PM

    emoticon

Glad to hear to day is better and YOU GO!

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BTRTHANEVA 2/11/2011 4:47PM

    Way to make life work for you, even when it doesn't work out like you'd have liked it to. Attitude is everything!

BTW, you'd make a paper sack look hot!

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LIBBYFITZ 2/11/2011 4:30PM

    emoticonYou never know the outside just might infiltrate the inside, have a great time! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Now What?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Without realizing it, I think I've crossed into another stage of grieving. Maybe I've been in denial about how much I still miss him. It has become the new normal, which has confused me into thinking that everything is fine. That I am fine. But am I?

The first year after he passed was taken day by day. Total survival mode. The second year I decided to live without him. Like there was a choice? In actuality, I did see it as a choice. I knew I wasn't going to die of a broken heart, (obvious since it would've already happened). And I wasn't going to give up and listen to that voice that told me I just wanted to die. So I took action. I went on a weight loss crusade, thinking that losing the weight would make me feel happy again. It worked wonderfully at first. But now, not so much.

It just feels like these last two years were a century long. I don't have that 'umpf' like I did last year when I wanted to show the world what I could overcome. I've shown them. And now what? If that felt like a century, what's the next 60 years going to feel like?? emoticon

p.s. Sorry you had to join my whine and cheese party!! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ACCEPTMYSELF 2/18/2011 2:20PM

    emoticon

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GRAMMACATHY 2/14/2011 9:17PM

    emoticon emoticon We are listening and we care. Acknowledging how you feel helps you find balance.

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SHERRY257 2/11/2011 9:20PM

    Grief knows no time. I send hugs and prayers to you. emoticon

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GWENAEL 2/11/2011 7:18PM

    emoticon

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GRAMMACATHY 2/11/2011 4:44PM

    Tempest had a wonderful and wise reply. Just know we care about you while you are riding the roller coaster of grief.
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WARMSPRINGDAY 2/11/2011 4:14PM

    You are not whining. You are sharing your heart and I feel privileged to have glimpsed a window to your soul. One day at a time my friend.
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LUNADRAGON 2/11/2011 3:06PM

    Leslie, It is not easy letting go, and keeping on. Some days will be more discouraging than others. I have not lost a spouse - though close to it for real half a dozen times at least - but I lost my my mom when I was 12, and it was really really tough.
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BOMBCHELL23 2/11/2011 2:15PM

    Leslie,
You continue to inspire and encourage even when you are down yourself. Thank you ten times over. I wish there was an easy answer but alas there truly is not. Just know I'll be praying for you. Thanks for your encouragement.

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PATTISPAGE 2/11/2011 1:51PM

    Thank you for your beautiful blog, and sharing your heart with us ~
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MONKEYSNUFFER 2/11/2011 1:00PM

    I am so sorry.

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KAMAPERRY 2/11/2011 12:44PM

    emoticon Whine away, but I don't see it as whining, look at some of my blogs. I don't think we ever "get over it" Our lives are irrevocably changed. I know my physical body is totally reacting to all the changes. But you know? I think we will be better and stronger for all we have been thru. Just know I love you and support you, k?

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NOMOEXCUSES13 2/11/2011 12:23PM

    "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

I can say that I identify with you Leslie.... When I was 20 years old my boyfriend at the time drowned. I thought I was never going to be able to live again. It was and still is one of the most devasting experiences I have ever had in my life. I can't say that it gets easier because it doesn't. I am happily married to a wonderful man and I still think of him everyday. They say time heals all wounds but I say wounds can't heal until you stop picking at them.....what I am trying to say is dont stop your greiving process...you need it to heal....XOXOXOXOXOOXO...we are all here to love and support you....
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RAINBOWFALLS 2/11/2011 12:20PM

    You have every right to whine - a little wine with it isn't so bad either. You will always miss him and there will always be some days when you are sadder than others - as time goes on you will have less of the lowest ones. Time does not heal all wounds - not when we have lost someone we love so very much.

My son has been dead for almost 12 years and today I was thinking how nice a hug would be from him. It happens and I don't apologise for my feelings.
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TEMPEST272002 2/11/2011 11:38AM

    Grief is an ocean. The tide comes in and then goes out and then comes in again. The salty water washes us away and then washes us clean. You have such incredible strength & some of that comes from your ability to really FEEL your emotions. Sit in the sadness a little while, but trust that it won't always be this hard.
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LZY0108 2/11/2011 11:07AM

    I wish there was some magic answer I could give you to make you feel better... Just remember all we have is today, everyday is a gift... emoticon emoticon

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RUN2MYDREAMS 2/11/2011 10:09AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 2/11/2011 8:56AM

    Leslie, I read the other comments because I wasn't sure what to say that would encourage you! Sometimes, the right words just don't come to me! I know that I admire you for how far you have come, and if you didn't have days like this, I would wonder if you were human! I know that you are going to go forward with joy and gusto because that is what you're made of! I'm sending you some Texas love today!
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Comment edited on: 2/11/2011 8:56:39 AM

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PRUPLEBEAR 2/11/2011 7:23AM

    emoticon love ya!

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REJ7777 2/11/2011 5:52AM

    In the last year, you've made a lot of progress towards your health and fitness goals, and grown as a person. But with that comes the realization that there is some pain that being fit will not fix. Whether we're fat or thin, we will grieve lost loved ones. Being fit and healthy does make us better equipped, physically, to deal with whatever life throws our way. And as hard as it is to believe, the pain of your loss will diminish in time. Your future is a beautiful promise! It may not be the same promise as it was, but it's a beautiful promise nevertheless. emoticon

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LIBBYFITZ 2/11/2011 3:20AM

    I can't even begin to know how you are feeling. What I do know is that you are one amazing woman and you will live a wonderful next 60 or more years! Why do I know that? Because of what you have achieved in the last 2 years. You will always have a spot in your heart for your man, but life goes on and you have 2 beautiful children who look up to you to guide them through life without their dad. You are allowed to grieve and it has no "time" factor. Some days are better than others. Big hugs to you my friend. emoticon

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TRUE-NESS 2/11/2011 2:37AM

    You are overcomING. It's a journey and it's a process. Give yourself that time. Maybe you were simply distracted before by your weight loss mission. Since reaching your goal, maybe you don't have a mission right now which has given you lots of time to think and FEEL. It's fine. Go on and feel and through it you will HEAL. But remember that it is a process. emoticon

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ABB698 2/11/2011 2:07AM

    emoticon and more emoticon for you hun!

Hang in there. Grief isn't on a schedule. You have to deal with it at the moment, and decide how YOU best need to handle it. We are all right behind ya Girlie!

Have a fab weekend! emoticon

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SAMI199 2/11/2011 1:18AM

    You do whatever you need to do-we're here & we care!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RIVERDLC 2/11/2011 1:08AM

    Good for you for expressing yourself. Bottling your emotions is very unhealthy.

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IBSHAUN 2/11/2011 1:06AM

    Being honest with how we feel is something that can be really difficult but it is so important. We need to feel in order to heal and to continue living. Don't think that you need to forget him and don't think that you aren't supposed to miss him. You loved him and you always will. Just remember to keep looking forward. You, and your kids, have much living and life ahead of you. Hugs.

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JHADZHIA 2/11/2011 12:10AM

    The hurt and big hole in your heart will never fully go away. All you can do is cry and vent when ever it catches up to you, then focus on your precious children and your new bf. They are your future and chance to make new and happier memories..
It makes me so sad you have to suffer so much..
Here for you
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TEENY_BIKINI 2/10/2011 11:51PM

    I can't even imagine what you have gone through...

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Do whatever you need to do. It is okay. I will always support you.

XO

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 2/10/2011 11:27PM

    We emoticon you our emoticon. Here is a big emoticon
emoticon You are the emoticon

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KANSASROSE67 2/10/2011 10:18PM

    There's no right or wrong way to grieve. You feel how you feel. There will be rough days, but also days when you feel full of life and possibility. Just lean on God and let him carry you through the hard times.

Remember "For everything there is a season...a time to mourn and a time to dance."

We're here for you, sweetie. Take care.

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HEALTHYASHLEY 2/10/2011 10:18PM

    Honey you experienced one of the greatest tragedies of life at a very young age. Nothing will be normal for a long time. You are doing what you can to cope and that is good! This is uncharted territory just do what feels right day by day. Hugs.

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KTMAE2006 2/10/2011 9:49PM

    I'm sorry dear, keep us updated, let us know what we can do to help.

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MOMOF2TONI 2/10/2011 9:46PM

    I really can't say anything more than what others have said, but wanted to add my hugs.
emoticon

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NEWNAC304 2/10/2011 9:32PM

    I am so sorry that you're having such a rough time. I firmly believe that God never gives you more than you can handle. You'll get through this. emoticon emoticon

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WEIGHTLOSSKATEL 2/10/2011 9:23PM

    Hugs! Thanks for sharing this blog with us! You will continue to make it through! You are a survivor and doing such an amazing thing with your life by getting so healthy!

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DKELLEY35 2/10/2011 8:49PM

    There is so much else to your life then just that. You have so many other blessings. Focus on the positive things in your life. Life does move on if you let it. Go out and seek new adventures. Open yourself up for new opportunities. Good luck on your journey.

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55TUCKER 2/10/2011 8:39PM

    Sweetneeni said it all so well! Ditto. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AUNTIELES53 2/10/2011 8:23PM

    emoticon

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KARBIE18 2/10/2011 8:23PM

    Can't possibly say it any better than SWEETNEENI.

Hugs and prayers,
Karen

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ASHLEYKAT 2/10/2011 8:18PM

    emoticon
I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time! You'll find your way: you always do!

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SWEETNEENI 2/10/2011 8:13PM

    It's at times like these when you need to focus on all the good in your life. Like actively replace the thoughts of loss with thoughts of blessings. You are beautiful. You are healthy. You have wonderful bebes. You have a family. And you have Sparkfriends who love you.
emoticon emoticon


Comment edited on: 2/10/2011 9:05:21 PM

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Positivity Blog :D

Friday, February 04, 2011

I have so many things to be positive about, it's hard to pick some specifics! One thing I'm particularly grateful for today is that I work with someone who is dedicated to living a healthy lifestyle, just like me! This helps so much in keeping me accountable on a daily basis!

Just to give you one example from many, yesterday we were given SIX dozen doughnuts from a customer! I was being tortured by having to sit by them for a couple of hours as I did some work in the back. Guess what she did? She walks back there and says, "Wow, that has to be hard!" I looked at her with big eyes and was like, "YES, it is!!" She then comes and puts them nicely in a bag and scoots them away from me. She didn't say anything as she did it, she just nicely stashed them away and walked off. It was a relief to atleast get them out of my eye sight and out of smelling range! How cool was that?!! Thanks THATS_LOVELY101, my waist appreciates you!
emoticon NO emoticon

Another positive is that my eyeliner hasn't smudged in four years!! Yep, that's right! I've got permanent eyeliner, (it's a tattoo), on my eyelids and therefore, I hardly have to spend any time doing my makeup! I just throw on some foundation and mascara and I'm good to go! I never have to spend another dime on eyeliner or worry about smudging it. It saves me so much time in the morning, plus I don't look like death when I wake up, lol! emoticon emoticon

One more positive for the day is that I have such supportive parents! When school is cancelled, (which it has been nearly all week due to the blizzard), they step up and watch the kids for me during the day while I go to work. Not only do they watch them, but they meet me in the parking lot at work to pick them up in the morning. When it comes lunch hour, I go to their house and enjoy a home cooked meal by Mom and some precious time with my kids. Then, when I get off work on these days, they are sitting there waiting for me in the parking lot with the kids. I couldn't ask for anything more!
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Here's a couple pictures of my daughter and her Papa, enjoying a dip in the hot tub yesterday! Never mind that there's over a foot of snow on the ground, that doesn't stop our family! I remember being out there with him as a kid, growing icicles on our hair as the snow would be falling around us. Ahhh, such great memories! emoticon





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILLYPILLY24 2/11/2011 2:06AM

    This is a beautiful blog. I'm rejoicing with you that you have such wonderful people around you. Your parents are like gold!

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LUNADRAGON 2/9/2011 6:54PM

    Very cool! Loved the pictures! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BETHMOMMA1 2/8/2011 10:01PM

    You are so blessed! Amazing to have such great parents!!! The hot tub looks like such fun and its not even too cold here in FL.

Thanks for the uplifting blog! Hope you have a great week!

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KRYANPRINCESS 2/7/2011 6:37PM

    I Just Love You!! You are always make me Smile! What a ROCKIN' friend you have at work! emoticon

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RUN2MYDREAMS 2/7/2011 5:34AM

    That is just emoticon Keep on rockin' your journey Leslie! YOU WILL DO THIS emoticon

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GRAMMACATHY 2/6/2011 4:34PM

    Thank you for the smiles. Your tatooed eyeliner looks beautiful. I have yet to find makeup that doesn't itch or irritate my skin. I would love to find a really good eyeliner tattoo artist. I would want it to be subtle but just brighten my eyes a little. wonder if they can add a hint of color to lips and cheeks too. Wouldn't that be wonderful.

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GRACIE4ONE 2/6/2011 3:25PM

    You are blessed beyond measure (especially in the parent department). I envy you in a great way!

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SHERRY257 2/5/2011 7:24PM

    Fantastic! Beautiful pictures and memories! I had great parents and cherish these memories. I am glad your kids get to spend time with your parents, too. I really like the idea of eye liner. Did it hurt? Have a great week? emoticon

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KAT7457 2/5/2011 3:57PM

    thats so awesome hot tun looks very inviting and great job on not eating the donuts. way to go. keep up the good work. emoticon
how did they do the tatoo on your eye i wanted to do that but was a little scared can you share it with me???

Comment edited on: 2/5/2011 3:58:16 PM

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RAINBOWFALLS 2/5/2011 3:56PM

    Great positives!

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REDRUNNERMOM713 2/5/2011 11:35AM

    Great blog! That is awesome that you have such great parents and that they live so close. What a blessing! I'm sure your kids love getting to spend that extra time with them as I'm sure your parents do too! Great job on not giving in to those darn donuts!! How great that you get to work with a Spark Friend!!

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 2/5/2011 10:56AM

    Leslie, my daughter, Kali has her eyeliner tattooed, and she LOVES it! I would do it in a heartbeat if I thought I had the extra spending money, even though I'm a whopping 51 years old! emoticonI didn't know that you work with THATS_LOVELY101! It must be great to work with someone so kind and sweet and thoughtful! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NITELITE72 2/5/2011 9:27AM

    Great blog! It is nice to have friends that are that supportive! It is difficult to concentrate on anything when you have doughnuts waving at you! If you are happy about your eyeliner, then I am happy for you! LOL
It is a great idea, but I cannot help but think about the pain of tattooing around your eye. EEK
Most of all I love that your family is so supportive of you. You never have to worry about your kids while you work!

Comment edited on: 2/5/2011 9:29:45 AM

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AZURELITE 2/5/2011 7:54AM

    What a positive start you've given to my weekend! How awesome for you that you have support from family and at work too!
Have a great weekend!

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ABB698 2/5/2011 2:57AM

    You make me smile! emoticon Your positivty rocks!

That is so cool about the hot tub in the snow. love it! I want permanent eyeliner, but the thought of a needle that close to my eye freaks me out! When I got my tat on my ankle, it hurt like heck! Not so sure my eye could take that....but it would be nice, especially since I have blonde eyelashes (probably as do you!)

Hugs! Have a great weekend!!

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KANSASROSE67 2/5/2011 1:12AM

    Love your positives! Isn't it fun to learn more about each other this way? The eyeliner deal sounds great...and so does the hot tub!

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JHADZHIA 2/4/2011 11:54PM

    You have awesome parents:) Just like my Mom and step dad helping me through this recovery and many others :)
I love those hot tub photos! My sister invested in one and uses it every day in spite of arctic cold temperatures!
I don't use make up, but used to get my eyebrows and eyelashes dyed, this one lady did it the best, but quit to have children, and have not found her again :( I tried others that did a horrible job so gave up on it. My invisible hairs do not take dye readily and they don't believe me when I tell them they have to go dark, and I end up with barely noticeable brown smudges for eyebrows at quite the cost.. I haven't been impressed with the tattooing I have seen and wouldn't consider that. I hope you got results you liked!
Enjoy your Sunday!

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GOGOMAMA 2/4/2011 11:24PM

    I love the eyeliner idea!!! So cool!

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IUHRYTR 2/4/2011 10:55PM

    A hot tub has to be nice but not as nice as having supportive parents and co-workers. Such blessings. -- Lou

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TRUE-NESS 2/4/2011 10:14PM

    We ALL need that kind of support! (Don't think I missed the part about the tatooed eyeliner! Wow! I'm thinking it hurt. The eyes are such a sensitive area. But, you'd probably say it didn't hurt at all, huh? :-)

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ASHLEYKAT 2/4/2011 7:39PM

    Aww, great pictures Leslie! I think I'd be really positive about a hot tub right about now emoticon

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TEENY_BIKINI 2/4/2011 7:29PM

    I am not sure what I love more - the supportive awesome friend or none-smudging eyeliner. Hm....

It's probably better to have both - lucky you!

emoticon

You are so cute.

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GWENAEL 2/4/2011 7:05PM

    Loved your blog! Great pictures!

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LIBBYFITZ 2/4/2011 5:32PM

    emoticonA great blog! I loved the hot tub photos! Having someone that supportive at work is great! Should be more of them! emoticon You are so lucky to have such great supportive parents. emoticonto them!

Comment edited on: 2/4/2011 5:33:35 PM

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LZY0108 2/4/2011 5:17PM

    Very cool positive blog! Love your eyeliner "trick". And what memories of the hot tub in winter.. That is awesome!

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KAMAPERRY 2/4/2011 5:14PM

    How cool is that?????? Love what she did with the donuts!! Ok, how much did getting the eyeliner tattooed? I would like to do that! That hot tub looks lovely!

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REJ7777 2/4/2011 5:03PM

    It sounds like you have a GREAT support system. emoticon It can make all the difference at times. Your parents sound wonderful, both as parents and grand-parents. And you sound pretty special in that you appreciate those who invest in your life, whether by removing donuts or caring for you and your children in other ways. Gratitude is a wonderful character trait. emoticon

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CASILAYNE 2/4/2011 4:57PM

    Gotta love supportive coworkers! That's awesome!

A hot tub in the snow looks like a blast!! It's such a blessing to have supportive parents. My grandmother drives an hour (one way) 5 days a week to watch my baby. She is amazing!

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THATS_LOVELY101 2/4/2011 4:41PM

    I know, I just rock like that emoticon emoticon emoticon (that was me rocking).

By the way, I am soooooo jealous of your mom. Can I borrow her? Not only does your mom cook for you, but you've sparked her to living healthier so you have home cooked HEALTHY meals. Have I told you how much you suck??? emoticon emoticon

Oh, and stop having such adorable children! Stop it! emoticon

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ELLFIN3 2/4/2011 4:33PM

    A very pleasant and uplifting blog!!! Thanks for sharing your positives with me!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYME47 2/4/2011 4:33PM

    I'm envious of the permanent eyeliner! Did it hurt? That sounds awesome.


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SHASHEE71 2/4/2011 4:18PM

    Nice blog!! What a nice co-worker!!! You did so great resisting those doughnuts!! Way to go!

There is just something about sitting in a cozy hot tub when there is snow all around you! I love that!

Oh...and I would loooove to have that eyeliner done. My mom had it done and loves it!

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TEMPEST272002 2/4/2011 4:17PM

    What would I do to sit in a hot tub right now?! Hot tubs are especially nice when there's a foot of snow on the ground.

You certainly are fortunate in the loving support you have with your co-worker & folks who go the extra mile. Great positivity blog!

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PCOH051610 2/4/2011 4:02PM

    Hey, the hot tub looks lovely even with all that snow around it! I've never been in one before so I hope you get in and have a nice soak for my sake!

Permanent eyeliner? Where have I been all my life? I'm guessing your lashes etc are pretty blonde or pale since you are a fellow redhead. I've just started wearing eyeliner..can you believe it....I discovered it at age 44!

It was nice that a customer brought in doughnuts but even nicer that somebody took them away from your field of vision. Funny how that is so tempting. I mean you almost eat it just because it is there and not because you are either bit hungry.

Glad to hear that your parents are so supportive and that you can have lunch with them. How nice.

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 2/4/2011 4:01PM

    You really do have a beautiful life, blessed with children and wonderful parents! What a wonderful way to live. Hope the fit bit is working well for you, Victoria

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TEACHDIANN78 2/4/2011 3:58PM

    That is so awesome!!! That looks like a blast and what wonderful memories! I'm glad those donuts got moved...I can only imagine the willpower that took! You ROCK!

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