Friday, December 10, 2010
Being held accountable is very important in this journey. Iíve always been thankful to Spark and to my friends for providing this to me. What I didnít realize though was how much it really impacted my day-to-day decision-making, or most importantly, my attitude when things just arenít going my way.
After I got home Wednesday from driving around aimlessly for two hours I started asking myself why I had wasted this time and gas money. I couldíve come home and vegged out, taken a nap, played on the computer and wasted the day away with mindless farmland games or facebook chatting.
But I didnít.
Why? Because I didnít want to report back to everyone that I just came home and crawled into bed thinking woe is me, why does life suck so bad. [Though the urge was something fierce!]
I didnít want to have to tell everyone that I ordered a large pizza, baked cookies, and had a big ice cream sundae before bed. [Though thatís what my mind kept telling me!]
After all, Iím a motivator. People read my blogs because they care but ALSO because they are looking to be inspired. I have an example to set and will NOT be perceived as weak. [Though I know all you would have said was ďBig deal, tomorrow is a new day.Ē]
I have so many friends that are working their BUTTS OFF to be productive, become healthy, and be who they set out to be. There are thousands of people in this community that work HARD every single day and who am I to let this one little thing get me down. After all, I AM a warrior, you know?!
I thought about all of this almost subconsciously. It was like my mind kept saying, turn this into a positive, do NOT let it ruin your productivity for the day. DO NOT let life knock you down. You ARE strong, and you will NOT see this as an excuse to binge on thousands of calories and sob your eyes out.
And THATíS what I did! I ended up even being MORE productive than normal. I took those lemons and THREW THEM right back in their face! Take THAT as an input error! Iíll show YOU who is in charge here! I ate healthy, stayed in my limits AND ended up producing 50 Christmas cards to give to nursing home residents. THATíS what IíM talking about! BOOYAH!
I signed this creed, took the oath and by God, I WILL NOT break it! I AM WARRIOR, HEAR ME RAAAWWWRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Warrior Creed:
I am a powerful Warrior.
I can weather any storm.
I am fierce; I am fabulous; I am unstoppable.
My tenacity comes in many forms.
I here and now commit to myself,
To embrace sheer courage and strength,
And vow to pursue wellbeing and health,
And to reach new heights and great lengths.
I shall pick myself up with determination and grace,
Each and every time that I fall,
I will give of myself and lift up my friends,
And will extend a helping hand to all.
I will start each new day,
With inspiration in my heart, as I look to the horizon-nestled treasure,
For am I am a Warrior; I am a spark;
Yes, I am powerful beyond measure!
~ AHealthierMe9 ~
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Immediately after I got off of work I went to CVS to try and get to the bottom of it. Apparently it was an input error and the prescription wasn't intended to be filled for Chris. The pharmacist felt really bad and before I had even gotten there she had contacted CVS headquarters and gotten his name deleted from their system. I told her I appreciated that. There was no need to get angry at her, it was just a misfortunate incident that hopefully will not happen again.
Luckily I had a 1/2 day of work and was able to get out of there and get some me time. I had intended on getting some Christmas shopping done but I wasn't in the mood anymore. I drove around meaning to stop at certain stores but just ended up driving right by them. I didn't feel like doing anything I had planned and found myself in a daze. After a couple of hours of driving and just a couple stops, I decided to go home and pick the kids up from day care right after they got out of school. I needed to be with my babies and see their smiling faces.
While I had been driving around I had been doing some thinking. I had let myself have a good cry and had been thinking about how a friend had told me her tip for the holidays. She said to take one day, not on the holiday, say the day after or before, and make that the day you are mourning, depressed, pissed at the world, what have you...and save the holiday to enjoy. This is easier said than done but is an excellent thought. This lead me to thinking that today just may be a good day for that. Then...my mind started thinking about my pay it forward plan to honor his memory. This year I'd like to visit a nursing home and take time to visit with the residents. Then, ephiphany! They'd love it if I had my kids with me and what if we brought homemade Christmas cards for them?! YEAH!
So I gathered the kids and went to Target, bought a ton of stickers, new markers and colored pencils, and some plain cards to decorate. The kids have been working hard and are so excited about delivering them to the residents. This family time has been great for me as well.
The comments on my last blog are so genuinely warm-hearted and incredibly helpful. I've been meaning to tell you guys what I'm going through but modest me has not done so. I guess it took an emotional charge for me to let it out. I'm glad I did though. Now you know, and now I have a blog that I can go back to whenever I'm feeling down this holiday season and I'll surely find some comfort. I'm very touched by the responses and have been proven again what dear friends I have found here on Spark. I'm truly blessed to have you guys in my life.
Well, I'm going to head to bed early. It's been a very emotionally draining day. Tomorrow when I'm feeling better I will get caught up on my blogs and in thanking each one of you personally for your concern and prayers. I love you all and am very grateful I can count on you in these times of need. It means alot.
Monday, December 06, 2010
Had an AWESOME time this weekend and at the concert. Shinedown was absolutely amazing. I've seen them twice before but this show had a different atmosphere and energy to it. It was all acoustic and they called it their "Anything and Everything" tour because we could ask them anything and they would tell us everything. They took questions from the audience and after every song the lead singer would give a commentary. He would introduce each song by telling us how it came about and what inspired them to write it. He was honest and completely inspiring. Not often does a band who has sold over 400 million records step down from their pedestal and give back to their fans like this. I was awe-struck and engrossed in every minute of their performance. It was by far the best concert I've ever been to! And I was even sober! lol JK! Really, it was so flippin awesome...and they even played OUR SONG! Neither one of those times I had seen them before had they played it...but this time they did! AND...it was the 2nd song in their encore so the anticipation had made it that much more exciting. Then...they followed it up with the song that has provided me with more comfort and hope than anything has this last 2 years...the song "Second Chance." It was just meant to be. To top it all off, they played a cover song by the band Foo Fighters. This song in particular had special meaning to me already and I had no clue they were going to play it, or shall I say, that Chris was going to play it. This song was something that symbolized the moment I decided to let myself love again...the time I had decided that it's okay to date someone and that I was ready. I don't see signs that often but when I do, I cannot ignore them! Chris's presence was all over that concert and I believe that he sent me his approval once again. It's an indescribably awesome feeling.
The kids had a great time too and enjoyed meeting the boyfriend for the first time. This was big for us...well for me anyways. To introduce them to another man that I'm sharing my heart with was and is a big deal. With his approval though, I know I'm doing all of the right things. Though my heart told me before, I've again been shown and proven it again.
All in all, it was an amazing time! Plus, we got into town early enough to enjoy a couple of attractions. We drove to a close-by town which is a big tourist attraction here in MO, (Branson), and AnnaBelle had never been there before so she was snappin' pictures left and right, lol, it was cute. We went to a wax museum and I had a little fun with the camera. This is me being silly....
Me and Hef....hubba hubba
And me and Forrest...(my girlfriend and I laughed so hard at this one our tummies hurt!)
Here's a couple from the concert. Wish I had a better zoom but you didn't have to be close-up to feel their energy!
It was truly an experience I will NEVER forget!
Anyways, thanks for reading! Talk to y'all later! XOXO
Oh, and here's a link to that song I was talking about...Second Chance
Friday, December 03, 2010
This has been quite the week! I reached goal weight, became a Spark motivator, AND had a blog voted MPB! I'm still getting comments left and am a bit overwhelmed by all of the responses! I've gotten over 400 comments already and they are still rolling in! WOW! There is NO DOUBT that this Spark Community is filled with wonderful, supportive, and positive people. I LOVE IT! I wish I could respond to everyone but there's just not enough hours in the day for that. Sometime I'll be able to sit down and read through them all but it seems they come in so quick I can never get caught up! lol I'm sooo not complaining though. I love the responses and think it's awesome that people are taking the time to congratulate me. I feel so loved!
This weekend should be a fun one and I'm really excited about it. I'm taking the step kids to a Shinedown concert. They are thrilled! This band became their favorite after I chose one of their songs to play at their dad's service. The song was "Simple Man", the acoustic version. Funny story--their mom said that the next day after the service she woke up to the kids blasting this song in their room. She thought, "Uh, oh! Meltdown time, I better check on them!" But when she did they told her that they looove this song now. Shinedown became their favorite band and I think their music has brought them some comfort through this whole ordeal. When I heard that Shinedown was coming to town I thought that this would be a perfect thing for us to do together. Well, they sold out in 20 minutes but I did get tickets for their show the next night in a city that's about 3 1/2 hours away. So it's road trip time! Wahoo! I think this is even better b/c we'll get that whole time in the car to chat and do some bonding.
So if I'm not on Spark much this weekend that would be why! I'm out rockin w/ the kids while their dad smiles down on us and says, "I'm so glad you are together."
Have a wonderful weekend my besties!
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