Friday, June 17, 2011
I had decided not to walk yesterday, but I went anyway. I am glad I went out. I stopped at my brother's house and had a quick conversation with my sister in law. Then I stopped at my aunt's house on a whim, and amazingly she was home so we chatted a while, too. The especially good part is that she agreed to take part of my walk with me today. It makes me feel good that I can help motivate someone else to do something they have been saying they should do. I know all about procrastination and finding "logical" reasons why I can't exercise or eat right. I have been doing it myself for years. Now I have the opportunity to change that, and I am grasping that opportunity with both hands and clinging for dear life. It is about having a life again for me. I have been hiding in my apartment for the last three years. It is time to stop hiding and be a part of the human race! I am not a very social person, but I do enjoy my family very much. I had even limited my contact with them. Not good. Isolation breeds isolation which encourages the maintenance of bad habits and negativity. I am tired of wallowing in my own negativity. So I walk. And I talk. And I blog. Not so isolated anymore, am I? Thank goodness. It was getting tiresome. (I think I was getting tiresome. Good thing my family loves me.) Now is the time to get out of the recliner and move toward something better! I am moving. I am moving
Thursday, June 16, 2011
I am looking forward to my niece's 6th Birthday on Sunday, but I am a little concerned about how I will do at the dinner table. Special family dinners in my family are long affairs full of delicious food, sparkling conversations (sometimes a little "punny", but always intelligent and funny), and tempting desserts... usually chocolate cake! Of course my mom normally bakes the cake and it is very simple and she glazes it instead of frosting it, so it isn't a total plan buster, but it is still chocolate and it is still CAKE. My family is aware of what I am trying to accomplish, and my sister in law even joined, but my self control will be tested. I have been eating all my meals at home since 5/22/11, and I like it, but I worry that if I get caught up in the conversation I won't pay attention to what is going in my mouth. Wait... maybe I can use the worry to focus myself and keep control of portions. Wouldn't that be funny, if I can utilize my fears to achieve a positive effect!? My birthday is coming up next month, and my mom and I have already planned a menu that fits into my nutritional plan. So, my niece's party will be a test, I suppose. Can I go to a family dinner and control what and how much I put in my mouth? We'll have to wait and see...
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
When I first started using the menu plan I felt unsatisfied at the end of the day, like some essential piece of my day was missing. I realized I was missing the gratification of feeding my emotions and restlessness. I quit smoking three+ years ago, and I still miss the hand to mouth sensation though I really, really do not miss the taste or the smell, or the butts. When I first quit smoking I lost 75 pounds, but gained it back, plus a little more within two years. Smoking also allowed me to avoid emotions. When I am focused on eating (and eating, and eating) I am not focused on what I am feeling inside my head, heart or soul. I am only focused on what is going in my mouth. That is so unhealthy! When I am walking by myself I am watching my step, so I don't trip, but most of my attention is focused inward to my thoughts and emotions. When I am walking I can FEEL. What a marvelous gift to be able to let myself think and experience what I am feeling at the moment! It has taken almost three weeks, but I am not feeling nearly so empty at the end of the day. I still get a little restless, but it is okay now. I only really started sticking to the menu and exercises two weeks ago and I am averaging a two pounds a week weight loss. That may not seem like a lot, but I want the weight to come off slow and steady. I think I have a better chance of keeping it off that way. THAT will make me satisfied in the long run.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Until now I have resisted blogging anywhere, for any reason. I thought "why would I want to waste my time." I did keep a handwritten journal for years, but there was something far more private and clandestine about hoarding those notebooks then typing my thoughts onto a computer for anyone to read. So, why am I blogging now? I am finding that I am more focused on what I need to accomplish for the day if I blog in the morning, I feel more connected to this community and I am more positive if I have blogged about something positive. The message boards are great for checking in, but I find that my positive outlook gets a greater boost from blogging. Who couldn't use a boost toward the positive. So, for me, it is time to blog, and dump my baggage against blogging. It is my time to be heard and be positive!
Monday, June 13, 2011
When I am out walking I get divided. One part of me is fascinated by the world around me and everything going on around me, and another part is focused inside my own head. I work through problems and issues, and plan what I am going to do during the day, or even the week. Sometimes I even have arguments with myself about decisions I have to make! It seems that as my body gets busier my brain gets busier too. I prefer walking to strength training, because I find that when I am working with weights, and chairs and walls I am concentrating on breathing and form, and not on what's going on inside my head.
I get satisfaction from both types of exercises, but I definitely prefer walking. There is something so thrilling about being out in and marveling at God's world, and realizing that I get to live in this complex, beautiful, always-changing world. It takes my breath away sometimes.
Needless to say, I am feeling good today, and looking forward to a good tomorrow!
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