Saturday, October 24, 2009
I hope my mom doesn't read my blog! Mom, stop reading if you're there...
Honestly, go away.
So, I'm heading home the first weekend in November for my folks 30th anniversary (the sibs and I are throwing a big surprise shingdig!) and I know that a local bakery makes vegan kringle. If you haven't had it or heard of it, that's not surprising. Racine, WI is like kringle central, USA. It's a round, ring shaped pastry that's flaky and buttery and filled with fruit or nuts and then iced. Yeah, it's pretty much insanely awesome. Insanely.
This same bakery started making trans fat free, all natural, whole grain vegan donuts, too. I guess the have a special "whole grain" Thursday thing where they offer the vegan donuts and kringles. I emailed them asking if they only served them on Thursday, explaining I was from MN. I was a bit of a crackhead in the email (so! many! exclamation! points!) and really super excited.
They just got back to me and they can make me a special order for Friday! And their huge, tasty kringles are only $5 each so I got one of each flavor- cherry, raspberry, almond, pecan and apple. They freeze super well so I can ration them out easily. Freeze them up and then cut a little piece off as I want it and defrost just that piece. I'm good at portion control so I'm not worried. ;)
I also got ... and THIS is the source of the glee ... a dozen VEGAN BOSTON CREME DONUTS. For 75 cents each. OMG OMG OMG!!! These were my favorite donuts and I haven't had one in at least 7 years. Seven. Years. People, this is epic. I might cry at the first bite. Hopefully these guys are freezeable, too. If not, I'm in for some serious carb loading. At least I'll be up to running about 12-13 miles a week by then. I think my body can handle some extra sugar.
It'll be worth it. Plus, Aaron will help me with some of them. I may end up with just 6 (which would also be fine.) And I'll bet that I'm good for another 7 years without a donut, too, after eating that many. LOL. I'm completely freaking excited right now. Yeah, I know, it's a healthy lifestyle site and getting super jazzed about food is a no-no but... * makes emphatic hand gesture * seven years!!!
Yeah, Larsen's Bakery pretty much is the best thing ever.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Ooookay. So, I hit goal last weekend and decided I needed pics. I have trouble seeing the changes in myself and have this idea of how I look that isn't very accurate. I feel bigger than I am and like I take up more space than I do. I still feel 45lbs heavier than I am. I had a good friend take some clothed shots (mostly to show off the crochet shrug I just finished! Love it!) and some bikini shots that will act as my "befores" for the 30 Day Shred.
So, I posted bikini pics on my page and that's all well and good.
It's semi-hidden and only folks who friend me will maybe see them. Maybe. If they think to browse my pics some day.
Since I'm suffering some relatively wicked body issue stuff (like so many of us!) I decided that hiding them in my page wasn't going to fly. To REALLY start to get over this stuff I need to be more open. No one here is going to call me fat or point out my flaws. We all know what it's like and we all are so busy finding our OWN flaws to want to hurt someone else. I know that. So, I'm being brave and posting these here in the blog which is, IMO, much more 'public' feeling.
Starting with the clothed ones and heading into scarier territory afterwards!
Me in my old size 10 "skinny pants".
Man, those things are huge on me now. I couldn't even fasten them when I started sparking. I mean, it was dire. Look at how saggy the bum is on them! This means, my friends, that my waist used to be bigger than my hips/butt are now. Holy. Carp.
One of me and Teal'c!
He's so huge he makes me look smaller. I can't believe he's a 4 month old baby. LOL.
Even with my arms squished to my sides, I don't want to cry looking at this. That's a huge leap for me!
*NOTE* Bikini pics were taken post-supper. We had delish homemade pizza but I was definitely not hungry in these guys. Plus, taken at about 10pm which = bloat! Okay. Now that that's out of the way...
Soooo. Yeah. Not as bad as I'd feared nor as good as I'd hoped.
The fact I'm willing to post them at all is insane. I've come really far in learning to accept my body but I still have a way to go. I still see all my flaws - wide waist, mostly ... I just don't nip in like I envision I ought to. I'm flat in the torso and wide/broad in the shoulders/ribs. It's just the Native American blood and I can't change it. * repeats to self * I CAN, however, work with my build and tone up what I've got. * repeats to self more *
Going to hit post before I lose my nerve.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
So, the scale read 133.8 this morning. I weigh in with clothes on and have the Wii remove 2 lbs. I told myself once I was under 135 I'd weigh in nude and have the Wii take off no pounds. Actual nude weight: 134.9 - my goal is 135-132 but I consider myself in maintenance mode now. I still have my tracker set for 132 just to keep my calorie range at a "still losing slowly and a small amount". But, for all extents and purposes, I'm done focusing on losing and am going to focus on toning and losing some fat.
In NSV news, I bought my first pair of size 4 jeans yesterday. As I've tried on 6-8 pairs of jeans in size 4s, different styles and brands, I'd comfortably say I'm a 4/6.
Is it any wonder I called HEZLIZZIE crying happy tears today?
What a day!
Saturday, October 03, 2009
We finished and didn't have to walk any of it. Hip held out pretty well though I'm walking like a Gramma currently. Heh. Mostly just soreness, though, not sharp pain.
The weather was atrocious (when you weren't actually running) cold, spitting rain, windy. Once we got going it was actually quite nice for running, no chance of overheating and low humidity. So, that helped. The worst part was how cold my hands were after the run. I guess I didn't notice so much while I was moving. ;)
It was actually a really good run. We both felt great the whole way through, started slow and then increased speed after the three mile turn around. We really kicked it at about 5.5 miles in and finished strong. Probably did our kick a bit too early but we still managed to find some extra to do an additional kick at 6 miles. I passed all the folks I had in my vision and had set as my passing targets, including a fellow coworker. I am evil. Eat my dust!
Finished in what I think is a GREAT time for a first 10K running on an injury. Chip time was 1:07:15, average pace was 10:50. Woot! I'll take it! I was shooting for under 1:15 and hit that easily. So proud.
We came in, took a hot shower and then scurried off for a delicious tofu scramble, fruit and toast brekkie at one of the cute little neighborhood cafes. Later, we're seeing Zombieland. :D It's going to be a fun filled day. Though, we may need a nap! WOOT! I feel like a rockstar. I'm so proud and feeling strong and fit and excited. I did it!!!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Feel free to ptthhhh at me all you want. Hah!
It's driving me nuts how my calorie burn has dropped WAY down as I've gotten smaller. What used to burn a ton of calories is now like ... "meh, you burn 89". Darn it.
To hit my weekly goal of 2500 I have to do SO MUCH more in terms of time. I'm doing over an hour 5-6X a week most weeks to hit that amount of calories out. And it's fine, I like exercising, but it is quite a time suck. I'm working on a big crochet project - a batwing shrug! LOVE! - and want to do that at night instead of 90 minutes of exercise to burn 450 calories. Grumble grumble grumble.
I wish I could run again. Sigh. 100 calories a mile, give or take, regardless of if I'm 150 or 135. Those are the days. Good times. Good times.
I can't complain TOO much, though, as I'm about 3 lbs away from my goal of 135. I may or may not stick there. 130 puts me at a 21-22 BMI, depending on if I'm actually 5'5˝ or am, in fact, only 5' 4.5˝ (or, gasp, only 5'4˝! I have no idea!) Honestly, though, it's depending on how my tummy looks/how my body fat is doing.
I'm already seeing a lot of improvement in my tummy area and my backs of my arms are really trimming down/firming up. I can SEE the inner thigh definition for reals on my left leg now (Why just the one? I mean, really.) and there is a faint but less noticeable definition on my right one. My hip muscles have really toned up, too, and you can feel the bones in my butt(?) when I lie down. I'm really pleased with how I look nekkid, currently. Not so much clothed (I know, whaaat?) due to having shirts be mostly too big/jakey on me. They hide my shape and I look bigger in them.
I need some new jeans, too. My 8s are getting big. I can pull the jeans off without undoing anything and the capris are nearly there. They have no stretch, though, so they are a bit smaller. My 6s are getting loosey goosey, too. I went to Kohl's for bikinis (and got another new top, looks cute! and it's got PINK in it. ACK!) and on a whim tried on some jeans. Two different brands, both 6s were too big and 4s fit great. Sadly, the washes/styles I liked the best had no 4s available so I had to pass. Bummer!
Also, I'm still wicked pissed/bummed that my wonderful bike was stolen. Since I'm not running up until race day I was really needing to get some long rides in to keep my endurance high. I guess I'm boned there since I can't afford another bike. I've been doing a lot of Tae Bo/ kickboxing /jumping things since they feel more hardcore and really raise my heart rate. Raised heart rate = cardio health. I just hope it's enough!
I'm still running the race (in a WEEK, OMG) but I intend to listen to my body and go painfully slow if necessary. It's not a race (well, buh... it IS a RACE but it's not a race race... you know like... what I'm saying is... oh, never mind) and I won't get a medal by killing my groin to finish in X amount of time. I'm just going to go slow and steady and walk if I need to.
Blah blah blah.
I'm ADD today in this post.
Bottom line: smaller body = smaller calorie burn = darnit!
Smaller body = more muscles = smaller clothes = WOOT!
Bike theft = bad = sad = mad = if I see that little punk *mumble mumble*
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