A few NSV's

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Hi Everyone! I hope you are having a great week! I am definitely having a much better one than last week. I sort of feel like a lizard who has finally shed its skin! Aside from the occasional bad feeling about derby which comes when I see a post of facebook or run into one of the girls, I am moving on and feeling really okay with it.

So! On to a few NSV's and as my friend JAYDEE16 likes to call it: "The Gloaty Pants Report".

Gloat #1-
Losing 1.5 inches of the waist. . . HUGE victory for me as I am pretty sure I literally have a spare tire around my waist. I have looked at the body type metaphors and the closest one for me is the Apple, but I am kinda thinking they need to make a new category. I am more of a Butternut Squash. I have an okay bust, an unfortunately large waist (the largest part of the squash) and an okay butt. I have dreams of an Hour Glass figure and there is a whisper of those dreams happening right now! I am thinking it must be from all the hooping! Although I am loath to admit, I haven't picked up my hoop in a couple days.

Gloat #2- I took some before photos back in January when I started with SP and hubby helped me take new ones yesterday. (I don't know if I will share them here as I am in a bra and I'm not comfortable exposing that much skin here). I compared said photos and was pleasantly surprised to see results in area's I kind of didn't think were changing. My arms for one! Considerably smaller and better defined. That lump of fat between your armpit and your boobs-SHRINKING! The shape of my cavernous belly button-There is a light at the end of that tunnel! My double chin- more like one and a quarter now! WOO HOO

Gloat #3- I have always hated giving my daughter a bath because it was hard for me to bend over at the tub and then pick her up out of it when done. So that has been hubby's job for the most part (except when he is down range). Because of the strength training I have been doing, giving her a bath no longer bothers my back and knees! I am pretty happy about that!

Gloat #4- Its time to go shopping! I really have almost nothing that fits properly. Time to get some new pants and shorts I think! Since starting with Spark I've gone from a 16 (those were a little big, but I couldn't fit into the 14s so they were my only choice) down to a 12. My 12's currently are fitting a little baggy. YAY! I don't think I am quite ready to go down to a 10, but I think I need to shop for some new 12's. I think I have sort of stretched out what I have. Also, since I have never been brand loyal, the pants I do have are kind of all over the place in regards to fit. Time to find something that fits really well and is flattering. :)

Okay, I think I am done with the "Gloaty Pants Report". I encourage you to do the same! Shout out your victories, no matter how insignificant you might think they are. Giving your self credit for the work you've done helps you look forward to the work ahead!

Have a great day Sparklers!!!

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Yummy lunch!

Friday, May 11, 2012

Just a quick blog to give out a little lunch time inspiration.

Today I took a medium baked potato, topped it with .5oz of finely shredded cheddar cheese, .25cup of reduced sodium black beans, 1 Tbsp lite sour cream, a pinch of chili powder, cumin and black pepper. It was really tasty, quick and easy and it was 294 calories, 48 carbs, 6gm fat and 12gm protein. And very filling.

Earlier in the week I did a baked potato topped with low-fat cottage cheese and steamed broccoli. Potatoes are my friend this week. At least until payday, lol.

The rest of this week has been going much better than my Hulked out, Oil Spill day earlier in the week. Hope you are all having a lovely week and looking forward to a nice Mothers day weekend!

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Had a bad day

Thursday, May 10, 2012

First of all, I want to preface this by telling you all that this blog is really the only place I have to vent. So while I am sorry that this is a negative post, I feel like its really important for me to talk about it. I am not trying in anyway to bring anyone else down. I just have an unusual set of circumstances that keeps me rather isolated from the world and I don't have a lot of outlets. Please feel free to click the X if you don't want to read a waaa waaa blog. But I've got to say it somewhere.

Yesterday was a nightmare! Do you ever just wake up and immediately set out on the wrong foot? That was me yesterday. I had a sleepless night thinking about the drama of the derby girls. What little sleep I did get was riddled with weird dreams. I got up, made my daughter breakfast and set out to clean the kitchen. I hate having to clean the kitchen in the morning but only slightly less than I hate cleaning it at night.
Side-bar: My grandparents, who were married for almost 50 years, had a great deal. My grandma did all the cooking and my grandpa cleaned up the kitchen before they retired for the evening. I wish we had the same sort of deal in my house. . .

Anyway, so I stopped in the middle of cleaning up to write a letter to the founder of the derby team. I had decided that even if there was going to be a revival, I didn't want to participate anymore. I haven't felt good about derby for a long time. In fact, anytime I do think about it, I just get this miserable sinking feeling in my heart. I wrote out this very long, eloquent letter and just as I was about to cap it off, my computer froze and deleted everything. I didn't feel like trying to get through it again because it was so emotionally draining the first time. So I just wrote a quick note saying I had written it out more eloquently, but the universe obviously didn't want me to send the first note. So I shortly explained that I was done and that I would be dropping off the bag of borrow equipment that I had been keeping a hold of.

I hated leaving it like that, but I just couldn't go through it all again. I went back to cleaning up the kitchen and went to put away the slow cooker from the previous nights dinner. Deep inside the cabinet we have a Fry Daddy which doesn't get used any more, but still had oil in it. Somehow I managed to knock it over and used cooking oil came cascading out all over me, the floor and all of the other electric cooking appliances in the cabinet. Things like this set off my fuse in a way that cannot be put to words. I seriously felt like I turned into the Hulk. My hubby had the unfortunate timing to come home for lunch just then. He offered to help, but there was really not much he could do, so I said "I've got it." When I get angry, its best to just leave me alone until I cool off. If I get provoked I tend to say things I don't mean. You would think after 9 years of marriage and nearly 12 years of being together, DH would have figured it out. . . No. He pushed my buttons and asked me why I was so upset. I said I was having a FML kind of day. He said "So you spilled a little oil and now its and FML day?" in a voice that meant he thought I was being a wienie. I unleashed the Hulk and said a few things that no one needs to hear. He left and we spent the rest of the afternoon ignoring each other.

Later in the day, I had to head over to drop off the derby gear. As I was getting out of the car to close the garage door, the screw to my sunglasses fell out and rolled down the hill, into the rocks, never to be seen again. Desert - Sunglasses = ARRRRGH! At this point, I am just laughing. I headed over to drop off the gear. Spent an uncomfortable 15 minutes talking to Derby Founder, where I discovered that a private conversation held between a few friends and myself over coffee at Starbucks had been reported back to Derby Founder by one of the employees. Nothing was said at that conversation that I hadn't said directly to her, but because it came back to her from a 3rd party everything got blown way out of proportion and now I feel like a gigantic a$$hole.

That was pretty much the end of the crappy cascade of doom for my day, thankfully. I came home and finished cleaning up the oil slick. Cleaning is sometimes therapeutic for me. I cooked up a really yummy dinner of Carnitas tacos using left over shredded pork from previous nights dinner. Hubby and I pretended like nothing happened and spent the rest of the evening in relative peace. I started reading a book called "The Five Love Languages" which so far seems like it is going to be very helpful.

I am still feeling really toxic this morning. It's a new day, but the residual ick is hanging on. I am going to do some work in my shop and hope that a burst of creativity will help me kick the ick.

If you've read this far, thanks for sticking with me and letting me get this off my chest. I do actually feel marginally better after this. I think the Crimson Tide must be approaching again. I am not normally this sensitive. Meh.

Hope you are all having a better week. SparkLOVE!

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A really long blog about my ongoing Derby Drama...

Saturday, May 05, 2012

First off, I apologize for this being a long blog. I just have a bit to get off of my chest.

So last night the local press was supposed to come out and interview our derby team to get the word out here on our little Army Post. Originally we all thought they were going to write a newspaper article about us, but it turns out there is actually a cable tv channel here that NO ONE knew about. So the person who came out brought a video camera. Only 4 of us showed up ready to skate but 7 girls came all together. The Camera guy interviewed 2 people briefly and then filmed us skating around the track and practicing some falls.

The only thing this event did is create a wealth of drama. All of the girls who came were upset that they didn't get to put their word in. We were hoping to get a group shot, but that didn't seem to be what the guy was there for. That really upset the girls who came to show support. We are trying to show the community that this is a team sport that is an asset to the Army. Instead it alienated most of us. There was already some bad blood brewing between a few of the remaining members and now its all out chaos. When this little program airs, people may get interested and decide to come out and see what derby is all about. And here we are, the straggling few players left, and none of us can get along. I feel sorry for anyone who comes in. This is not how derby is supposed to be. There is a lot of back story here that I am not adding, but its really all just trivial drama. Sometimes I feel like I am back in high school.

So what does this have to do with my Spark Journey? Well, my weight problem in the past has always been that I am an emotional eater. Yesterday, I knew there was going to be a BBQ in the evening that would have temptations. I wanted to be able to allow myself a few so I ate a modest breakfast and skipped lunch. I thought I would have time to eat a little of the BBQ food before I had to leave for the Derby interview, but that didn't end up being the case. So the result was that after the interview was over, I was STARVING and I was upset. Bad, bad combination. I really didn't go WAY over my goal, I was over by about 300 calories on my high end. But the point is, I ended up going for the foods I have been avoiding since I started working towards a healthier lifestyle. I ate a large helping of Macaroni and Cheese and then ate a little more. I ate TWO cupcakes with canned frosting that tasted horrible. I kept thinking "Why I am I eating this? It tastes terrible!" Then I ate another! I tried to justify it by telling my self that I worked pretty hard when I was skating, but I was just lying to myself. I ended up going home and hooping for an hour and 15 minutes while catching up on episodes of Glee.

I think the thing that upsets me most about this is that it was 2 days in a row of bad eating. One day was a treat and the next day was poor therapy. Its patterns like this that will have me slipping back into old habits. To top it all off, I am feeling sick today. I think its due in part to the bad eating and also just absorbing bad energy. We are going to go over and spend some time with the few derby family peeps we still get along with. Hopefully that will make it all better.

I hope you are all having a great weekend. I am looking forward to Monday and a new start. SparkLove!

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Smashing my "Cell Phone"

Friday, May 04, 2012

What is a girl to do if she is over her calorie goal by lunch and is still hungry for dinner!?! Yesterday, that was my life. Totally my fault though. Hubby has a four day this weekend so we took advantage of the unusual mid-week day off to drive 2.5 hours to the nearest farmers market. On the way there, hubby decided he wanted breakfast, which always means McDonalds when we are on the road. I tried my best to be good, but ate a sausage McMuffin with egg and a portion of my daughters fruit and yogurt parfait. Not the best start to the day. We hit up the farmers market and picked up some lovely produce. Since there is basically no where to shop at our remote Army location, we decided to hit Target to get some household stuff. My wonderful husband, in a gesture of pure goodwill, went to Starschmucks and bought me a tall Caramel Frappucino=220 calories w/out the whip. I drank it.

I don't know how many of you are on Pinterest but there is this "motivational" picture floating around on there that says something like going over your calories and then still eating is like saying "Oh, I dropped my phone. I guess I will just smash it to pieces" I have been trying to find the image. Anyway, yesterday I "Smashed my cell phone". It wasn't that I realized I had gone over and just said "Eff it". It was that we really don't get to go out very often and I wanted to take advantage of the situation. We had to stop at our favorite burger joint for lunch. Haven't been there in months! I have been really good lately with my fitness and my tracking. So I decided it was okay to "smash my phone" for one day. I have insurance, right? I will not let this little spiral out become my undoing. I am proud of how far I have come and I know that I can't eat that way everyday anymore.

Today and this weekend are going to be filled with temptations. I am going to do my best to fill up on freggies to avoid any binges. We have a BBQ tonight, tomorrow is 5 de Mayo and Sunday there is a street fair on post. We shall see how far I can push my resolve. :)

I am on day 16 of my 10 minute minimum exercise streak. Most days have been 30 minutes or more. There have been a couple where I only squeaked out the obligatory 10, but at least I did that. Hooping has really helped!

Well Sparkers, that's all for now. I hope the skies are clear tonight where you are so you get to enjoy the beautiful May Moon! It will be 13% fuller and 30% brighter tonight than normal due to the fact that it is 31,000 miles closer on its elliptical path around our marvelous planet!

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