Saturday, April 06, 2013
I must confess: I loathe exercising. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against being active. In fact, I enjoy participating in sports competitions and learning martial arts. However, redundant and predictable routines like running on a trendmill tend to bore me to tears. I cannot bring myself to enjoy them. Someone once told me that I should treat working out like a mandatory chore, and I tried that mentality for a while, but it doesn't work for me. I strongly believe that taking on a fitness routine that is as fun as sports or martial arts is the best route for me. The trick, though, is doing those things for as close to nothing as possible. THAT is always the tricky part. The last time I joined a rec center that had plenty of sports and MA classes, it cost me roughly $60 a month. That is basically an electric bill...so I really can't do that type of thing at this age of my life.
Still, I am not giving up! I am trying out Leslie Sansone's "Walk At Home" DVDs. So far, I really like it. I think it is a good idea to write down the names of all the DVDs I have along with workout routines and just pick names from a box, you know? That will keep things exciting and unpredictable. Furthermore, I am working out a little RPG system that offers me rewards when I do well. I hope all of this will keep working out at home exciting!
2. The Husband
From what I've read on various message boards, I am not the only one with this problem! It is generally tough to live with anyone--spouse, parents, siblings, friends, etc.--who constantly brings home junk food while you're trying to overcome an addiction to junk food. I don't want to tell Mark to stop eating what he likes because he has a right to eat what he pleases. Mark is also happy with his body, and I am happy that he is happy with his body, so I don't want to unintentionally shame him by doing things like banning his food or treating his lifestyle like something that is unacceptable. At the end of the day, whether skinny or average or fat, everyone has the right to enjoy their bodies. I want to be average, he wants to be fat, and I am completely okay with that. That said, Mark is never to blame for any temptations I bend into. For starters, he makes active efforts to keep them out of my sight like using the bottom shelf of the fridge, the back of the freezer, and hiding his snacks in closets. But if I accidentally come across some mid-rummaging for my own meal, I'll snack on it too.
This is one of those mind over matter aspects of weight loss. All the buying salads and exercises won't change an addiction, you know? I have to get to the root of that impulse before I can rid myself of it. One thing that is really helping a lot is keeping a diary. The moment I get an urge to snack on his chips or I crave a cheeseburger, I just write. It is both helpful and eye-opening.
I grew up in New York where pretty much everywhere can be walked to. So, to live in a place like Georgia that doesn't even have sidewalks makes things tough. I'll pass dozens of restaurants before I make it to my grocery store. I can't imagine how tough it must be for people here who go to the gym, you know? It also doesn't help that I am living in an...unsafe neighborhood. I would rather not wander about in a place like this.
I can't really do much about location besides save up money and relocate...which is exactly what I am doing. There is really no point in moping about what this city is becoming. I just need to let things unfold as they should. As of late, I have been taking trips to stores with Mark to window shop, and walking around for hours definitely helps. So, that is not a bad idea. Go out more! Hermit less...as much as I prefer not to!
Someone once said that motivation, like a shower, must be done daily in order for its benefits to last. I wholeheartedly agree. But the issue with me and this ridiculous attention span of mine is that a single motivation does not work for me. I cannot say "I want to look good in a bikini" and use that as fuel all of the time (as great as that would be). One day, I may want to look great in a bikini. The next day, I will come to the realization that I will never be comfortable showing that much skin in public. One day, I may want to lose weight to motivate others. The next day, I will say that being considered inspirational is too much pressure. It does have a lot to do with my habit of constantly asking "why?". For example: "Why should I become fit? Why do I have to wear a bikini? Why go to a beach or swimming pool? Why is being inspirational important? Why bother if I may just die the next day?" (Yes, I am a ball of joy and sunshine.)
I am learning to answer all of my "why?" question with "because it's enjoyable and you're just going to do it". It is difficult, but in the end I always come to the realization that sometimes so-called illogical things *are* fun and they don't have to make sense. So, with that said, I am adding shopping spree to the top of my rewards list. Why? Because it will be fun. Why? Because it just is. See, I'm catching on! Slowly but surely...
This is the BIGGEST obstacle for me because failure is a part of weight loss. I mean...I am sure there is at least one superhuman out there who vowed to lose weight and consistently lost weight ever since (s)he made that promise, but I am not one of those superhumans. I make mistakes. I give up a lot. I restart a lot. I get cocky. I get insecure. I overestimate and underestimate my abilities depending on the day. There is no way in hell that I am going to go from almost 200 pounds to 130-140 with no failure whatsoever. Still, that doesn't change the fact that I have perfectionist tendencies. If I can't do it perfectly, I won't try. If I try and it isn't perfect, I lose heart. It definitely sucks.
But, once more, this is mind over matter. I have to stop treating failures like brick walls in my path and treat them more like pebbles. It doesn't matter how many times I trip, or even who trips less than me. It only matters that I keep going. Someone once described herself as a masterpiece in progress, and I really loved that attitude of hers. There is no "maybe" for her. She believes that she *IS* going to be fit--no as, ifs, or buts! I want so much to adapt that type of mentality towards my own weight loss.
More than weight loss, I want to bring that attitude to every thing I aim to accomplish.
I know that simply writing about these obstacles and how I plan to overcome them isn't enough. I also know that, at least once, an obstacle on this list will bring my efforts to a halt before I reach my goal weight. I am okay with that. Challenges are not always terrible when it comes to accomplishing a goal. When a person looks back on his or her life, it is always the challenges and overcoming them that stands out.
So, from an optimistic standpoint, setbacks can be seen as an adventure!
Well, I'm going to head out. The day is drawing to an end and I have a few cups of water to squeeze in before then.
...Going to abuse my emoticon privilege before I go though. >_>