Monday, March 10, 2014
Fresh carrots and cucumbers and my new favorite hummus - chipotle!
Monday, March 10, 2014
I've been struggling. Period. It started during the fall, which is always the story. First comes my birthday, followed by Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day. I work a lot. I travel even more. I'm in a long distance relationship where I have the more flexible schedule. All of these factors lead to eating out a lot, no planning of food, no incorporation of regular exercise, caffeine, caffeine, and more caffeine. Don't get me wrong. I love my coffee. But I've noticed that my threshold for caffeine's effectiveness has gotten higher and higher.
So I decided that I would use the Lent season to do the following: clean up my eating, take my vitamins (including and especially the iron supplement my doctor put me on), work on getting to the gym regularly, and trying to journal my food better. Not to mention, I was going to begin eliminating the white stuff - sugar, flour, potatoes.
I felt pretty proud. I went to the grocery store, got lots of fruits and veggies, and started cooking meals. I also started using my nutribullet for my breakfasts. But then what happened? I was thinking about food and what I wanted to eat CONSTANTLY. To the point, it was making me extremely anxious. At one point, I realized that I should potentially/probably start seeing a therapist about my anxieties around food. It's really not about weight, per se, but around my relationship with food. I recognize that I also have reached my breaking point with winter, and that is one of my issues (I should probably plan on moving back to the South...New England and I are not friends). However, there are some other issues that I need to seek out help for. Along with and as a result of my anxiety, I pulled a couple of binge-eating sessions (which I haven't done in years in this point). I just felt really low and desparate. I made a decision that I would get out of the house on Saturday and not do work. So that's what I did. I took the train into NYC, and walked around the whole day. Thankfully, it was sunny and warm (in the 50s, much better than the 20s of last week). I felt much better after spending time with friends, going to the Brooklyn Museum (Wangechi Mutu = amazing), and wandering around.
So what's the solution? Well, today I'm newly inspired by re-watching "Fat, Sick, & Nearly Dead." I know that I need to do this as a long term investment in health and not about my daily scale anxieties. I made a choice that I will take baby steps to cleaning up my diet. I am vegan, but I've found my ways to eat starchy and junk food. I have clean eating recipes that I will try out for the week. And I will be attempting to journal, trying to be honest with myself about how I am feeling and doing. My long term healing will be around a graduated set of changes to my dally life. Today, I tracked my food. Even though I'm over calories, I am happy that I tracked what I ate, and I have fulfilled a goal I set for myself. I can feel myself turning the corner in a way that doesn't overwhelm me. As a stress eater, that's what is most important for me at this stage. So...here we go.
Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Last week - 284
This week - 279.5
I lost 4.5 pounds out of my 20 pound birthday challenge. I have 15.5 pounds to go! I'm very happy with that number. Very glad to be back in the 270s. I really do hate the 280s. I've gotten stuck there so many times in the past 10 years. And then there was the time I passed it and went into the 290s, 300s, and 310s. A place I never want to be again.
In any case, over the past week I have been logging my food very carefully. As explained in the previous blog, I try not to go over 1500. Today, I got into my emotions a bit and got to 1800 (really rough day) Which is still ok, but not at the same time. Hoping to do it better tomorrow. Today, I wore my BodyMedia armband for a significant amount of the day. It was interesting to see the activity of my body. I also enjoy the fact that it picked up on my walk to and from lunch (over 1.5 miles total). Speaking of walking at lunch, such a great idea. I am going to do it more often.
I have a goal to lose 2 pounds over the next week. That will put me at 277.5. Looking forward to 9/10. :)
Friday, August 30, 2013
I have not blogged in such a long time. A lot has happened in the past few months - moving to a new state, trying to finish up my research, starting a new job, trying to get focused on my dissertation, among others. My life was so chaotic I pretty much only ate takeout from April through the beginning of August this year. With so much transition in my life, I couldn't settle into a routine and really get focused and committed to my health.
Since the beginning of the month, I've been more conscious of the fact that I need to get my life in control (really, my food intake), but it was really only until this week that I've made a true commitment to watching what I eat. Earlier this week, I weighed myself and the scale said 284. I was floored. I knew that I really needed to get serious. Like for real, for real, not play play. Last week, I started trying to make sure that I ate something around every 3 hours. Prior to that, I noticed that I would do great with food during the day (breakfast and lunch) and be ravenously hungry by 4 or 5 pm. This led to several evening binges of food (including lots of accessible junk), which I would always regret immediately - and sometimes during but I would keep on eating anyway. I learned that eating something every 3 hours became really useful in preventing this issue.
I've started tracking my food more consistently, which has been good. I use another program whose app I can download on my iPhone without cost. It makes it much easier. I've tried to make sure that I gotten at least 1200 cal. and to not go over 1500. If I end up going over 1500, I try to do a workout routine (if I hadn't already done one that day). My gym is open 24 hours so I can go for 30 minutes at 9 pm, no problem. Since I'm vegan, I'm trying to make sure I get enough protein for the day, which helps keep me satiated as well (aside from leafy greens, broccoli, beans, nuts, etc.). This week, I've found several varieties of vegan jerky to be helpful (made from soy, tempeh, or mushrooms). I also took a chance and bought almond milk yogurt. It's actually pretty good and really good for helping with my sweet tooth AND keeping my appetite suppressed (6g of protein). So I will probably use that as my afternoon snack for the foreseeable future. For breakfast, I use my nutribullet - half kale, a banana, and about 1/2 cup of frozen fruit. Sometimes I add water, other times I add soy or almond milk. It really helps me feel refreshed in the mornings. Prior to this, I was adding protein powder but I've decided to cut it because of calories for now. Most, if not all, of my lunches this week have been salads with varying topics - soy chicken mostly. I always have to wonder if I'll get bored with them, but for now they work.
Temptations to buy sugary and salty food is rough. I love chocolate and potato chips like it's nobody's business. Earlier in the week, I was in NYC, and I indulged in a vegan oreo cheesecake that was AMAZING. It was an interesting choice because while I enjoyed it, I noticed pretty immediately that it was FULL of sugar. I felt my heart rate speed up almost immediately, more so than with a cup of coffee. So I didn't finish it, and I was also able to walk off the effects by being in the City. Today, I bought a naked burrito for lunch. I was SOOOO tempted to buy a side of chips to go with it, but I knew the calories weren't worth the temporary satisfaction of eating ALL of the chips (I don't have any self control with tortilla chips...I eat them until they're gone). As I tracked my food, I added in "large flour tortilla" just to see what it would be if I had gotten a regular burrito instead. I saved almost 200 calories by not getting it. So I feel pretty proud of my choices. I also recognize that I could've had the chips, but it would limit my dinner options. I'd rather have more options in the evening.
I am writing this down now because every time over the past 3 years or so I've tried to lose weight, I can't remember what I did the first time (4 years ago) to drop almost 60 pounds. So I want to try and keep a better record so I can always refer back to it later when I might find myself struggling. My next weigh-in is on Tuesday, Sept. 3. I got on the scale this morning, and it's already going in the right direction so I'm looking forward to my number on Tuesday.
As a final note, when I saw that the scale said 284 on Tuesday (August 27), I made a challenge to myself to lose 20 pounds by my birthday, which is October 26. So I will be updating my profile somewhere to reflect this as well as noting my progress on a weekly blog. I also have been inspired by some of the contestants on Extreme Weight Loss (although I've never wanted to lose weight fast and end up having skin removal surgery...it's one of my great fears actually). This past week, they had a contestant who was feeling overwhelmed by her 90 day goal that she lost focus. So Chris Powell put her on smaller weekly goals (lose four pounds this week). And it helped her get herself together. I think this is an excellent strategy that I will start to employ beginning with my 9/3/13 weigh-in. I, too, have often been overwhelmed with thinking about how much weight I need and want to lose and just stop making progress towards it.
So here's to getting back up again and staying committed to a healthier me.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Being out of town and off schedule is rough. I am having a lot of fun taking care of my nephew this week. However, the lack of regular sleep and lack of time to go work out is really sad to me. I have to figure out a plan for the rest of the week. I am trying to keep my eating controlled, but that's obviously hard when I don't have adequate rest (at least for me). I'm about to go lie down (at 10:30 pm...I've not had this bedtime since elementary school) so I can be prepared for baby's middle-of-the-night feeding. Hoping I can find at least 30 minutes to get some exercise soon.
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