Thursday, October 21, 2010
I have a 13 year old daughter and a 15 year old son, my son is physically active as he's been playing hockey since he was 4 years old. My daughter on the other hand would avoid any physical activity like the plague. I worry about her because she is considered "obese" for her age. I had always tried getting her to walk, go bike riding with me, etc....but she never wanted to. That is until a few years ago when I started dropping some weight. I figured how could I tell her to be physically active when I was not. My highest weight was 192 lbs a few years ago and slowly in the last few years I have gone down to (once) 155 lbs but I hover mostly around 160 lbs. I still want to lose at least another 40 lbs so I need to step it up again and not get into my old habits.
As my daughter seen me losing weight, going for long walks, exercising at the gym she then decided she wanted to join in. We would take our ipods with us and go for daily walks together, at first she couldn't walk too far but now she can keep up with me without any complaining and we worked ourselves up to walking to over an hour at a time.
This past summer I have enrolled her in Karate which she is really enjoying. I honestly didn't realize how hard they work them during those karate sessions but she is able to keep up with the rest of them!
To give you a little history, my daughter had been complaining of extreme pain in her stomach and this past summer she was brought to the hospital because she was dehydrated. After the doctor had run some tests it was determined that she has gallstones. *Yikes* So our family doctor sent us to see a GI pediatrician and he told us that he wasn't surprised that she had gallstones because she is obese, yeah we already knew that and had been working on it! I tell ya, I felt like the worse mom in the world. I felt so bad for her because she kept telling me she was fat and ugly. What bothered me the most is that we had been working increasing her fitness level and I had been packing her healthier lunches, trying to cook healthier meals, etc.. My daughter was so depressed for a couple of weeks and didn't want to bother exercising anymore and said it wasn't even worth it because nothing she does helps her lose weight or inches around her stomach anyway. I had tried explaining to her that it's not always about weight but your physical stamina as well. Some girls are very tiny and skinny but probably could not keep up with what she can do. We are well aware that she needs to lose some inches around her waist and drop some pounds but it is so difficult when it comes to girls. The last thing I want her to have is an eating disorder......
On a happier note, she is back to working hard at karate a couple times a week, she takes the dog out for brisks walks first thing before school and I had bought her some Julian Michael dvd's (she loves Julian Michaels) which she has been doing on a regular basis. I am so proud of her for realizing that exercise is the way to go and she's also been reading all of the food labels and checking to see how many calories, fat and sodium contain in the food products and I got say we've all been eating healthier because of her determination to lose weight. I no longer have chips, cookies or anything of the sort in the house. I have to admit though it's very difficult when I see potato chips on sale to not want to buy a bag or two to watch our hockey games on a Saturday night. (I won't tell her that though)
It's actually a little ironic because the last few months I have fallen off the wagon and had not been exercising and my daughter is the one who has been nagging me to get back into shape and telling me if I'm not careful I will gain all my weight back. So I really need thank her for all her nagging and reminding me of how well I did because I've finally gotten back into the whole exercising thing and I feel better for it!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Good morning everyone,
I haven't blogged anything in a while and I am sure that is a good indication to all of you that I haven't been exercising or eating well.
My shifts at work have been switched to 11 hours from 9.5 and to boot I work night shift *yawn* and because it's summer right now I have been working sometimes 5 or six in row which completely drains me!! I have not been sleeping well during the day so I go to work all groggy and barely able to stay awake until 8am so there's the reason why I haven't been taking the time to pack healthy lunches or even think about exercising.
I have someone on my Facebook friend's list from High School, we had gone to school together, oh about 22 years ago. I have to admit she looks AMAZING and I am in awe of how awesome she looks especially after having six kids. She is a personal trainer and has recently added bulk to her body and has about 10% body fat and lots of muscle. At first I was "wow, she's amazing, look at her, she's such an inspiration! She belongs to another diet and fitness site similar to Sparks and so I joined and became her friend there.
At first I thought she would be a great motivator for me. She logs in tips everyday for us people looking for exercise ideas and such, however last week she wrote something on her wall that made me think a little less of her and actually she's now becoming downright irritating, she wrote "She is sick and tired of seeing people on this particular site that are not serious about exercising and dieting and how others offer words of encouragement to those who have a bad day and cheated on their diet or haven't exercised" and she's thinking of just quitting the site altogether because she is annoyed with people who don't want to take it seriously, blah blah
Okay, so this lady spends most of her time at the gym, I realize she has to have a great looking body and be very fit to be a fitness trainer but I resent how she thinks we should all be like her. Heck, it's not like our full time employment is working at the gym!
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I have been so consumed by her success and secretly hoping to accomplish similar to what she has accomplished and forgot why I had wanted to lose weight in first place. It was not to become a fitness model but to be healthy and be able to do everyday tasks without getting out of breath, etc...
Oh yeah, she had posted a little while ago that she had ran a 20K marathon and was so disappointed because it took her 4 hours to reach the finish line and she was soooo disappointed with herself. Arghh, she is obviously out of my league because for me running two minutes straight would be amazing!!
It is all very clear to me at the moment and I had not realized it until now. At the beginning of my weight loss journey I was focused on losing the weight and getting myself toned, then this girl comes along and without me realizing it, I am trying to be like her and reach HER GOALS and forgetting what mine were. Along the line, I have forgotten that I don't work at the gym and train clients, I work behind a computer all night long while everyone else is sleeping. In turn, I have become discouraged because I have not been successful like her and just started eating crap again and not exercising. Funny how our minds work sometimes.
Please don't get me wrong I think what this girl has done is amazing but realistically I will not have the body she has with the six pack abs, I don't have the time or ambition for that. I just want to be at a healthy weight and to have a toned body. I especially hate it when I can feel the jiggle under my arms move when I wave. Ughhh!!
I will concentrate and focus on what I can do and forget about one day running a 20k marathon because honestly I don't enjoy cardio that involves running or jumping up and down. The accomplishments I have made which should make me proud is that I can go cycling with my 14 year old son for a couple of hours and not feel like I'm dying, heck keeping up with my athletic son is something I should be very proud of and not to mention I have no problem going for very long walks such as 4-5 miles. Walking is good isn't it?
I am done venting for now and going to take my energy out on some real nasty weeds out in my garden, should keep me busy for a couple of hours then get some sleep as I am back to work tonight :(
Have a good day everyone :)
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Yesterday, I had gone to the mall to do some clothes shopping. First of all, anyone that knows me already knows that I HATE shopping. I'm sure it has a lot to do with not being able to find clothes that fit and hating how it looks on me. I used to shop in the Plus Size section which I hated because I am only 5'2" with a small frame and it would upset me that I would have to pay extra because I had too much weight on my body. Grrrr
So here I was at the mall wondering what size I should try on because this past winter I had been wearing the same ole' jeans and shirts I had been wearing last year. I know I have been looking frumpy, heck my kids told me the other day that I needed to go out buy myself some new clothes, that's got to tell you something!! My jeans would not stay on without wearing a belt but I couldn't justify going out and buying winter clothes when it was so close to summer.
So here I am grabbing some t-shirts from the first store I had walked into, last winter I was wearing an X-large so I grabbed a few large shirts thinking that should fit just right but to my surprise the Large was baggy. WHAT is this?!
So instead of having to go and get a larger size I had to get SMALLER size. How amazing is that?? I am wearing a medium sized t-shirt, WOW!!
Now that I am thinking back a few years ago, I was wearing a size 1x in shirts and thinking if only my breasts were smaller I would be able to wear a normal size. I had been delusional all those years thinking I was just heavy on top and that was the reason why I could not wear smaller sizes.
So out the store I go with my three new Medium size shirts, oh what a feeling!!
Now I am looking for some shorts and capris. I go into the next store and I like what I see on their racks but wondering what size I should pick.
I started off about four years ago wearing a size 18 then dropped to a size 16 and stayed there for a while. The pants and shorts that I have from last summer are a size 14 and feeling loose. I got to say, for some reason it is so difficult to lose the weight from my stomach area and it is coming off very slowly.
So I grabbed a few pairs in size 12, I noticed a pair of capris that I really liked but they only had a size 11. Oh what the heck, I might as well try them on and to my surprise they actually fit!! Yahoo!! (mind you they are comfort fit and stretchy) but I seriously don't remember the last time I wore that size on this body of mine!!
I tried to take a few photos of myself in the dressing room like a lot of you out there have done but for some reason I just can't get my entire body on the camera cell phone since I am the one holding it!
I'll have to have my husband take a photo of me in my new clothes so I can post some updated pics.
Now I have to make myself a promise and get going to the gym and exercise on a regular basis like I used to do as that is probably why I haven't been shrinking in the stomach area very quickly.
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Okay, I am starting to sound like a broken record here but I have decided to write yet another "sad" blog to remind myself that I need to quit sabotaging all of the progress that I have made so far. It seems as though once a month I go thru those "horrible cravings" and cave into a treat meal which turns into a week full of treat meals and snacks. I then start to feel lethargic, depressed and have all kinds of crazy thoughts, such as "Oh what's the point I'm never going to reach my goal, why bother?", "What's wrong with the way I look right now, I could just maintain my weight as it is now", etc....
I need to stop all those crazy thoughts and get my butt in gear otherwise I will gain all of the 35lbs I have lost in the last couple of years.
I just seem to be repeating myself over and over again and when I do lose a couple of pounds I sabotage it all by eating crap and then gaining the weight back, geez if I continue at this pace I will probably reach my goal weight by the time I am 80 years old. LOL
So starting now (yeah I know you've all heard it before) I am going to take my health and weight seriously from now on!
On a side note, I have to admit that I seem to get caught up every once in a while on a diet book I find at the library and it promises that you'll lose inches from your stomach, or eat these kind of foods and you'll lose so much quicker....the list goes on! That's the pattern I have been on for the last 6-8 months and I know realize that I am never going to look like a model or have six-pack abs but that's okay, as long as I can say that I am exercising at least 4x a week and eating a healthy diet then that's what I am going to be satisfied with.
I have many things to be grateful for in my life such as a wonderful husband, two beautiful children, a nice home, good job and friends here on Sparks :)
I am no longer going to obsess about how flat I can get my stomach as those stretch marks and hanging skin on my lower abs are all there from giving birth to my children and they mean more to me than anything else in the world. So in a nutshell, I need to stop this obsession with wanting the perfect body because I only get discouraged.
I have at least 28 more pounds I want to lose and I am hoping with giving myself less cheat days and exercising more than once a week (yeah I know, pretty pathetic) I should reach my final goal in no time!!
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