Tired, But Restless

Thursday, March 24, 2011

So tired today. I actually had 4 cups of coffee and still felt like falling asleep at my desk. Lucky for me, I have roller derby practice tonight. I am hoping it infuses me with a bit of energy. I can't tell you how excited I am for this week to end and for tomorrow to be Friday!!!

And even more exciting...I get to go pick up my new boutfit on my lunch hour. I will most definitely take pictures and post on SP.

Working for the weekend!!!!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BETHKK 3/25/2011 8:27AM

"Boutfit"!! LOL! That's awesome! Report Inappropriate Comment

AWOOD1973 3/25/2011 5:44AM

Happy Friday! Hope it goes wonderfully! Have a fantastic weekend! Report Inappropriate Comment

MARVEEME 3/24/2011 7:56PM

Can't wait to see 'em! Report Inappropriate Comment

Workout Evaporated My Stress

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

If you remember yesterday, I talked about how I was so stressed out at work that I hyperventilated. Well, it was an interesting learning experience for me because it got to the point where I was so bothered by the stress level that I realized: My stress is now hindering me, instead of driving me. So I decided it was time to go home.

The other interesting aspect of this is that I literally felt like I would explode if I didn't do something active right away. So, I sped home, changed into my workout clothes and disappeared from the house before anyone could even notice that I was home. I then took a high speed walk on the trail near our house, even with the prospect of rain at any minute. I walked the ENTIRE trail. It was a total of 4 miles.

When I got home, I didn't feel too much better. Just starving and frustrated. But, about half an hour later, it was as if my workout finally "settled" at the same time my dinner settled in my tummy. And I felt complete and total calm.

My sleep last night was AMAZING and I woke up today feeling calm and serene. I put in 12 hours at the office today. Didn't freak out once. Got my e-mail load down from 104 messages to about 40, all within the past 48 hours (which is where we are supposed to be at all times). And I answered about 15 voicemail messages. I still have a bit more digging to do to feel completely caught up, but I made INCREDIBLE progress today. And didn't blow up one time in anger or frustration.

Wow. This week has been such a learning experience for me. And I'm so thankful!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AWOOD1973 3/25/2011 5:43AM

Glad you were able to move past your stress!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

MARVEEME 3/23/2011 8:37PM

That's a great blog, with great conclusions. Congratulations on your epiphany. Report Inappropriate Comment

1982PEACHES 3/23/2011 6:47PM

Working out does that for me too! I'm a stay at home mom, but I have 4 boys and life can get crazy!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

Down TWO Dress Sizes???

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

So, my day has been beyond stressful today at work. To the point that I actually almost hyperventilated. So, my wonderful co-workers (and Biggest Loser teammates) whisked me away on our lunch break to go shop for a really hot outfit for this weekend's roller derby bout. I am notorious for having no eye whatsoever for fashion, let alone things that flatter my body and don't make me look like a massive lump.

So, I took these fashion savvy ladies with me and they asked me what my size was and I told them. Next thing I know, they are tearing through the aisles and piling my arms up with random things (things I NEVER would have even looked at, by the way). I checked the tags and said, "Wait...this isn't my size...it's 2 sizes too small." But they ignored me and just said, "Try it on anyway. We'll deal with sizes later."

As I got busy trying things on in the dressing room, I found a couple really cute outfits and finally settled on the PERFECT dress. I mean, it looked HOT. Suddenly, I thought, "Wait a second." And I looked at the tags on all the clothing I had tried on (which had fit perfectly) and it was all 2 sizes too small. Well...not anymore! I just stood there in complete shock.

It's real. I mean...it's REAL!?

I'm kind of speechless right now. It's only been 3 weeks! How is this possible???

But deep down, I know. It's possible because I'm working hard. And using my brain and tracking meticulously and moving every single chance I get. And it's paying off. Surprisingly, though...I never expected it to be this easy. Or this enjoyable.

Suddenly, my day has turned for the better.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LDRICHEL 3/27/2011 3:56PM

Just posted a new pic with the dress! Report Inappropriate Comment

ANDEENNATE 3/23/2011 2:46PM

wow that is fantastic! Report Inappropriate Comment

ARCHIMEDESII 3/23/2011 12:10PM

It sounds like you had an awesome time shopping !! I wish I had those sales people to help me when I shop. I can never find anything ! LOL !!! Do post some photos of yourself in that snazzy outfit !! Now, how does a person lose 2 clothing sizes ? Well, here's the thing, clothing sizes are not standard. You may find you fit size 14 in Ralph Lauren pants, but size 16 in Calvin Klein. I have pants in sizes 6, 8, 10 and 12. You know what ? They're all the same waist/hip dimensions. Also, cut of the outfit matters too. I find I fit certain styles of dress in size 8 and others in size 10. I've stopped looking at the numbers because they are so variable. I literally have to try on everything. Example, I have some shirts in a large that are actually smaller than some mediums ! Don't you hate when that happens ? Also, you have lose some weight in the last three weeks. As a result, you have lost inches. So, yes, it is possible to drop sizes in a short period of time. Here's the thing, as you get closer to a normal weight range for your height, you may find you losses slow down. that's normal. Report Inappropriate Comment

AWOOD1973 3/23/2011 1:06AM

Wow! That's wonderful! What a way to get rid of a little bit of stress in your day! Congratulations!! That deserves a !!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

ILSAWING 3/22/2011 4:32PM

That is wonderful! Congratulations! I agree, pictures girl. Have fun at the derby! Report Inappropriate Comment

MARVEEME 3/22/2011 4:30PM

All that hyperventilating, for no good reason at all. I'd have been hyperventilating in the dressing room over the two size loss instead. Sometimes, you just have to go SEEK your joy, and your girlfriends showed you how! YIPPEE! Pictures! We want Pictures! Report Inappropriate Comment

HARPO2332 3/22/2011 4:04PM

Keep it up and CONGRATULATIONS! Report Inappropriate Comment

I Feel Sexy

Monday, March 21, 2011

I realized today that, even though I've only lost 7 lbs so far (pssshhh....ONLY. That's a HUGE deal for me!), I am actually seeing a difference in my confidence and my self-esteem. Not only does my body feel great, I feel great about my body. I actually feel sexy for the first time in, well...I can't even remember. And, although I'm sure I don't really LOOK very different to the outside world, the change in my feelings regarding myself have got to be shining through. I feel like I am radiating energy and positivity.



I actually find myself excited to go out and shop for a cute outfit for this weekend's bout on Saturday. Instead of hiding in baggy clothes, I want to find something that fits well. I literally want to make people's jaws drop. I know this is possible, because there are girls in our league that are bigger than I am and all they do is put a little effort into their appearance. A little planning and a lot of confidence and they are...GORGEOUS.



This is so new. It's confusing. It's like something brand new awakening in me and I must admit, it's not without it's challenges. I still am not quite sure how to handle this feeling. It's got me thinking, "If I can succeed at this (health), could I succeed at anything I put my mind to?" And the possibilities of that are exciting...but also sometimes scary. I'm not used to guys noticing me...or desiring to be with me. As a married woman, I haven't had to deal with this issue before now.



I feel like a brand new person. Maybe it's not necessarily a new person...maybe it's the real ME that I've buried under layers of shame and guilt and food addiction and laziness. Quite honestly, whoever it is...I feel that it will be a journey in itself just to "get to know" this new person. I can tell you this, though...I can't wait to meet her!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ARCHIMEDESII 3/22/2011 11:10AM

This a fabulous blog ! Congratulations on finding your mojo !!! I'm sure you'll find some fabulous outfits that will flatter your figure and your new attitude ! Report Inappropriate Comment

BETHKK 3/22/2011 11:06AM

LOVE the attitude in this blog!! I wish I could be there to see you shake that booty during the bout in your cute new outfit and awesome new attitude!! Have FUN! Report Inappropriate Comment

AWOOD1973 3/22/2011 5:02AM

Woohoo! Sexy is good! My goal is to feel great naked! I have a ways to go, but I'm getting there! Your husband will love you no matter what, but why not make him gawk at you! Great job! You are well on your way to a healthier, happier life! Report Inappropriate Comment

MOXIE-IN-MOTION 3/21/2011 7:44PM

This blog made me so happy! I'm so glad that you're feeling better about yourself! And sexy.....who wouldn't want to feel sexier? Find a cute outfit, sex it up this weekend, and let your hubby's jaw drop! Oh, and just an fyi....you CAN succeed at whatever it is you want to do! Report Inappropriate Comment

MARVEEME 3/21/2011 7:36PM

Meet her....you silly thing....you are creating her! LOL While the first cat calls may make you want to shake your booty with joy, know that your choice for life is already your loudest cheerleader. Don't trade him in for the unknown....as the slim pickins' that are out there will probably be a step down or backwards. Keep building your life as you create her. Shopping....I LOVE shopping! Send us pictures of what you choose! We'd all love to see them, for sure. SPARK ON! Report Inappropriate Comment

JONICACALDWELL 3/21/2011 7:14PM

I hope your husband gets to enjoy the "new" you. When I lost weight the first time and I was single, I got really angry. I knew that some of the guys who talked to me were only talking to me because of how I looked and they wouldn't have even SEEN me if I were heavier. Keeping this in mind the men I was friends with before I lost the weight are my friends to this day. Just like your husband loved you before this change, you are lucky to have him through it all. Congratulations! Report Inappropriate Comment

Road Trip was alright, calorie-wise!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

So, the road trip wasn't bad! Started out great. Filled up on Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal for breakfast and drank a lot of water on the trip. Stopped at McDonald's for lunch and I had a grilled chicken salad with water. Then, there was another unscheduled Taco Bell stop and I actually resisted and got nothing...because I figured I didn't need second lunch when I knew my evening was going to be a challenge (stadium food and alcohol). It was pretty hard sitting in the car smelling Taco Bell, but that moment passed and I was OK. At the bout, I caved and ate nachos...but only ate half because they were kind of gross. Still, those packed a 650 calorie punch. Blech. At the after party, I had THREE Smirnoff Ices, which added up to 750 calories. I thought it was all over for me when I logged everything this morning. But no!!! I also danced (like crazy, high energy, sweat pouring off me dancing) for at least 30 mins, which BURNED 500 calories. So, I ended up UNDER my calorie limit! Sweet!

Today was not as great...but I only went over by a couple hundred. Not nearly as terrible as I expected. I think I have lost weight from last week. I really do. I am excited for the weigh in tomorrow morning.

When I got home, I took the family on another 2 mile walk. And, I feel GREAT. Even after the extra calories today...who cares? My body feels awesome and that's all that matters to me right now. I am so happy!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BETHKK 3/21/2011 8:18AM

Body feeling awesome...THAT is what this is all about!! You are doing a great job! Report Inappropriate Comment

MARVEEME 3/20/2011 8:38PM

Excellent! Renewed, refreshed, and re-ignited SPARK! LOVE IT! Report Inappropriate Comment