Friday, March 11, 2011
Rough, rough day. Recently found out a good friend has very aggressive stomach cancer. He's been so positive and wonderful through the whole ordeal, but today's journal entry was all about how he is going to start chemo next Thursday. He said he has pre-readied journal entries for the time after chemo when he is too weak to update all of us and one of them is his funeral arrangements and what to do after he is gone. This was a serious and bracing reality check for me and the thought of losing him is just devastating. He is one of the most positive, wonderful, kind and loving people I've ever met! I am 32 years old and, by some miracle, have never had to deal with grief in my life. I've never known anyone that was close to me that has died. I realize this is a statistical anomaly, but it's true. My heart was heavy with that news.
About five minutes later, I heard the news of Japan's earthquake and the devastation there and all of this, before 7:30am. I thought to myself, "This day is simply too sad for me to survive already."
Add to this the fact that some kind of super cold bug took over my body yesterday and I feel SO HORRIBLE! Somehow I soldiered through a 49 hour work week, but it was not without some effort the past couple days. Then, instead of resting, the clock hit 5 and I was out shopping for my little boy's 3rd birthday party on Sunday, which we are having at our house.
Amazingly, with all of that, and frankly...with me not really giving a crap about ANYTHING today because I felt SO low in general, I still managed to come in under calorie limits. AMAZING. Also, I think I can muster out a few crunches and push ups. But I intend to rest all day tomorrow and drink lots of water and organize all my recipes. Oh man, that just sounds like heaven right now.
Pray for me, y'all. This was a tough one today.