LDRICHEL   50,561
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Dreams & Diagnoses

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

OK, so you know when it's storming really badly and then THIS happens?



It doesn't matter how many times I see it...when the sun's rays burst out from behind a dark cloud, it is ALWAYS breathtaking.

Today...I feel the light piercing through. It's amazing how a person can feel so broken one day and, after a good night's rest, wake up and just see things differently. I suppose it's not that surprising...I am generally a positive person. The times that I give in to depression are few and far between. I'd say it happens a couple times per year and then I'm done with it. I guess it was just my time this past week. Granted, a lot of things really came down on me all at once...so it makes sense, I guess.

That big, grief-filled emotional issue I have been dealing with seems to have taken a turn today...it feels like I am settling into a new normal there and I can't even tell you what a HUGE relief this is for me! It's like a 50-lb weight has been lifted from my heart. There's a little lingering confusion, but relationship has been restored and healed up to a point. And that is always good.

And now the info you've all been waiting for...

I went to the ortho today to have him look at my ankle. Got some x-rays and talked to the doc. So, apparently, it is possible that there are two things going on here:

1. Posterior Tendonitis - Basically, the tendon in the back of my ankle is not strong. When I pronate my foot, it wears it down too much. I need to strengthen it if I'm serious about training for a half marathon (so I begin physical therapy for this next week). He also prescribed custom insoles for my shoes to try to bring some stability to that area of my foot.

2. He noticed a lucid spot on my x-ray in the cartilege of my ankle joint, which could mean that it's chipped away. He couldn't see it well enough, so an MRI is necessary to get a high resolution image of the area (my hardware is in the way and blocking the view). I am scheduled for an MRI next Wednesday. Then, I have a follow-up appointment with the doc the following day to discuss the results. I asked him what it would mean if there WAS a chipping away of the cartilege. He took a deep breath and said, "I would have to treat it like a fracture and recommend a non-weight bearing course of treatment blah blah blah blah blah." He literally said the words, "blah blah blah blah blah"...giving me the idea that it would not be speedy recovery.

How did this happen? Aside from my tendon not being strong enough (which is simply due to not enough use since it's healed from the accident), the cartilege issue is because of my weight repeatedly pounding on the cartilege when I run.

Today, I have so many thoughts swirling in my head and if you care to keep reading, I will share them with you:

1. How could I expect to let myself go for so long and NOT have some consequences to face due to my excess weight?

Especially when we are talking about running. I have read that the force on your feet when running can be up to three times your body weight. That is over 600 lbs of force on my already-weak ankle. To think of it this way...my injury shouldn't be a very big surprise. It's a bummer, yeah...but it's just something that I need to deal with and move past. If anything, it's more of a motivator to get this weight off as quickly as I can!

2. I can't stress this enough - the Olympics could not come at a better time. It's no secret that I'm excited to watch them (I did take two weeks off of work so I can watch them 24 hours a day for two weeks! Seriously!) I have hit a small bump in the road this past week. I am sure the inspirational stories of the Olympic athletes will give me JUST the kick in the pants that I need to get back in full gear with my eating and working out, whether that be elliptical, pool, stationary bike, whatever. I've got to do SOMETHING. I can't lose this momentum!

3. How lucky am I to have a doctor that is an EXPERT in the field of sports medicine to help me get through this first injury as a runner? Not only does he have a full history of my past injuries, but he knows my goal of training for the half marathon and he knows exactly what I need to do from a physical standpoint to get to where I need to be by October. If this man can't get me running again, there is no one that can. A non-weight bearing course of treatment would definitely suck for the next who knows how long...but, in October, I wonder if I will be thanking my lucky stars that this happened at the very beginning of my training shedule and not two weeks before the race.

4. And, finally...it all comes back to SparkPeople. As always. My girl RAMONAFLOWERZ just had knee surgery yesterday. This woman has got a LOT more going on with her knee than I have with my ankle (even if the MRI DOES show a cartilege chip). I've been writing to her telling her that she WILL bounce back from this and she will come back better than ever and that she is so fierce (because she IS!) I was just thinking today, "How DARE I say all those things to her and then mope about whining about my ankle issues, like it's the end of the world?" Look...if Ramona's fierce, then dammit so am I! And you know what? We are going to kick these injuries in the as*s TOGETHER. So, girl....it's you and me. And we've got to keep a positive attitude. It's all we have at times. We CAN do this!

The best part is...we aren't alone. Can't even tell you how many amazing messages and comments I've received over the past few days. Thank you, friends.

The sun is bursting through the clouds. And, for that, I am so grateful.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOANNHUNT 12/18/2012 9:07PM

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SERASARA 7/29/2012 5:47PM

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CYPATAYLOR2 7/28/2012 8:07PM

  Yes, you will survive and you will be better than ever emoticon

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TERRIPAL1 7/27/2012 8:53PM

    I love how you bounce back so quick way to go!

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LILSPARKIE85 7/27/2012 6:37PM

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NEWCHINELO 7/27/2012 5:47PM

    get better soon!

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EMILYDOODLE 7/27/2012 3:41PM

  emoticon hope you are feeling better emoticon

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THEOTUS 7/27/2012 2:53PM

    These are the types of events that can make anyone fall into a slump of self pity. I have to say that your reaction to it all is amazing. To know the risks and aim for the best, it just makes my body fly off the handle with motivated energy! Keep your chest puffed out and you're head held high, because the body is an amazing machine, and can go through just about anything, as long as you continue to care about yourself.

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KFEASEL13 7/27/2012 2:03PM

    The body and mind are so amazing and have powers of healing that go beyond the expectations of medicine. Please do everything you can to stay positive and patient. Sending positive thoughts and energy your way! (I almost typed weigh, isn't that funny?)

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LINDAMANDEL1 7/27/2012 1:57PM

    Thank you, and lot's of luck with the physical therapy. It's worth all the effort. I couldn't walk, did what had to be done. Then I did something I never thought I could ever do again. I went to Disney YAY! didn't even rent a scooter. AMEN!
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JAS9096 7/27/2012 1:06PM

    Well I'm glad you're feeling better today! :) I hope the problem with your ankle isn't too bad

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NESARIAN 7/27/2012 12:11PM

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CINDYRINAL 7/27/2012 11:54AM

    Thank you for the inspiration.

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ANGELBABIES2 7/27/2012 11:25AM

    Thank you God BLess you and thanks for Spreading the Spark keep it up.

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VIMVIGOR 7/27/2012 10:53AM

  Inspiring picture for an inspiring blog. Cheryl emoticon

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MCHILSTR 7/27/2012 10:31AM

  Best wishes for the therapy! I've just completed 4 months of therapy for my ankle, and I have been amazed at the improvement. They had me doing all sorts of things, a lot of balance work, and I got a good sweat on every time I did therapy. It has taughtme so much, and given me a whole variety of exercises to add to my routine.


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GINA180847 7/27/2012 10:29AM

    It is an awesome picture of the sun rays bursting out behind a dark cloud. Good luck with the ankle. I hope it is soon better.

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 7/27/2012 10:21AM

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MKATE88 7/27/2012 10:20AM

    good luck with the training! i wish you the best in your recovery emoticon I loved your opening thoughts; very beautiful

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 7/27/2012 9:17AM

    Great additude....

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GETFIT1126 7/27/2012 8:45AM

    Beautiful picture! Best of luck to you with your ankle, hope you have fantastic results.

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KRICKET57 7/27/2012 8:18AM

    Good luck with the ankle. I am sure you will do will in the 1/2 marathon. I hope you enjoy it.

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PENOWOK 7/27/2012 7:56AM

    Sounds like you're in the right hands and right expectations...Great attitude!

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LILAC_LANE 7/27/2012 7:37AM

    Thanks for sharing. You are an encouragement! I love the pic in your post.

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JSTETSER 7/27/2012 6:32AM

    You are in my prayers. Thanks for sharing. You have a great attitude, and will make it!

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BLUEJEAN99 7/27/2012 3:17AM

    I understand. I am dealing with chronic back pain. It just flared badly from an injection I got that was supposed to make me better but made me worse. I can't run but I walk a lot but this past week I have had to severely reduce the walking. I'm trying to keep the spirits up! emoticon emoticon

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WELSTEACH 7/27/2012 2:25AM

    God is watching, healing, working through the doctor. We will pray for your recovery.

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MARYJEANSL 7/27/2012 12:20AM

  You have such a wonderful attitude! Thank you - it is very encouraging to me.

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SUSIEMT 7/26/2012 8:42PM

    What a wonderful picture! You can do anything!

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THETROUT 7/26/2012 7:47PM

    I'm encouraged. You have a great Dr. My ortho was so very rude, and unclear, so I'm not going back. Going to a podiatrist next week for long term plantaars fasciitis (Tendon in foot pain, in case you don't know).

I hope you get a great treatment plan and can look forward to carrying out your wishes at another time.

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JAMER123 7/26/2012 7:00PM

    Positive thinking and writing!! emoticon
I have major ankle problems that all come from pronation that couldn't be corrected when I was very young. Walking can be an effort but I keep plugging away!! Hang in there and you CAN do it is my mantra!! Thank you for a wonderful post! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/26/2012 7:00:45 PM

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PATRICIAANN46 7/26/2012 5:53PM

  With your great attitude, half of the battle is already won......... emoticon

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SNOWYOGA 7/26/2012 5:48PM

    Positive! Positive! Positive! emoticon emoticon

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SHOAPIE 7/26/2012 4:18PM

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VOLLEYGIRL77 7/26/2012 3:39PM

    That's a great way to look at it!! What a positive attitude!

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BEEKERBOYY 7/26/2012 3:05PM

    Just ran across your sparkpage while surfing "...blogs for the day." I've been on Sparkpeople since July 10! It was good to read what you wrote about -it's foolish to think there wouldn't be any consequences for my body, after weighing so much- (my memory of basic message.) For me, it's my back. I've had surgery, pain management etc., and the docs all say lose weight!
You give me hope. Thank you for your well-expressed thoughts! AND the beautiful photo! emoticon

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DEBK0923 7/26/2012 2:19PM

    I loved this blog

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NESARIAN 7/26/2012 2:09PM

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MOMMY445 7/26/2012 1:17PM

    love this blog! hope you feel better soon.

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IAMAGEMLOVER 7/26/2012 12:33PM

    You will overcome this. You overcame your injuries from the accident, you have come so far, and you will overcome this and soar to new heights. emoticon

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MISHAMW 7/26/2012 12:24PM

    Pronation is evil, seriously.....I don't think I can think of one thing that I wish I could change more about my body than my flat, stupid over pronating feet. Well maybe that this stupid reoccurring bone bruise in my knee caused by said feet would go away and never come back.

I'm sorry about your ankle, but you are blessed to have a good doctor. Mine didn't say what happened, or anything other than...physical therapy. I did research on my own to find out it was because of my over pronation and old shoes that caused it the first time. The second and most recent time, I have no idea what went wrong. But I can't run at all. Which is my dream. Like hardcore dream.

Well get better and I hope the innersoles help!

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BIRDLSLAURIE 7/26/2012 12:24PM

    It's funny how much easier it is to give those pep talks to others than to ourselves, isn't it? Hang in there!

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AEROBISAURUS 7/26/2012 12:05PM

    I just watched a movie called MY RUN - The Terry Hitchcock Story on netflix. Its very inspiring and moving story. Stay positive!

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CONNIEANGEL23 7/26/2012 11:54AM

    Good Luck on meeting your goals. emoticon

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TONYVAND1 7/26/2012 11:31AM

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LINDAKAY228 7/26/2012 11:16AM

    So glad you see the sun again! I'm sorry that there is a possibility of a chip, but I know from reading this blog that if that happens you will deal with it. And if it isn't there, that will just be excellent news. You are lucky to have such a great doctor.
You are awesome!

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TYANDCARSMOM 7/26/2012 11:06AM

    LOVE THIS BLOG!!!!

I have been dealing with my own body rebelling against my weight loss efforts lately to the point where I knew I needed to see a doctor. In March, it was my ankle bothering me - doctor figured it was Sinus Tarsi Syndrome, however, when treatment for that didn't eleviate the pain... it was determined that I had a stress fracture in my leg. So non-weight bearing exercise & walking boot for this gal!

Cue to 2 month later & "cast" is finally off... and yet my body is still yelling at me... but this time it's my shoulder. Duing the leg rehab, I turned to power yoga & circuit training... and this aggrevated my rotator cuff & bicep tendonitis. So I have been in phyical therapy for 2 months... still not healed. There is a huge calcium deposit in my shoulder from repeatedly injuring the area & just dealing with the pain.

Turns out, I am pretty good at not listening to my body & dealing with pain... which probably isnt the best for this gal. UGH lol.



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KATHY_NATURELVR 7/26/2012 10:58AM

    Love your blogs :)

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SAINTBETH 7/26/2012 10:54AM

    Get better soon.

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Let's Get Real

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

So, I can't get into the ortho until tomorrow (Wednesday at 2pm EDT). I've kind of been in denial about the situation, but this morning when I had to stop in the middle of the hall because the pain shooting up my ankle was so severe (as I've had to do several times since then today), I figured I'd best face facts and admit that something is very wrong. If I'm being realistic, I will not be surprised if I walk out of the office tomorrow in a boot.

Look...I know this is a very temporary thing. And, my goodness, I have been in MUCH worse circumstances and much longer recovery periods in my lifetime. But, this Saturday is the Color Run. It is the first race I was ever interested in and the first race I ever committed to running. I have been looking forward to it for MONTHS, I recruited several team members and I paid $45! I can't tell you how upset I am that I won't be able to run it (and, just trust me, I won't be in any shape to run it by Saturday...if today is any indication). I thought I could walk it, but now I am questioning that as well.

My mind tells me all the things that you awesome SparkFriends have been telling me, but my heart is in a different place. That is what makes this so difficult for me.

Why is this so hard?

1. I was finally getting to a point of consistency with my running. My training plan for the half marathon just kicked in two weeks ago. I was doing so well! I'm not afraid of losing my physical conditioning as much as I am losing my momentum and my consistency. I was at 5 days a week of running and it was finally a habit.

INTELLIGENT RESPONSE: I have proved that I have the willpower. And, if I could do it once, I can do it again when I'm healed. More than that, I can CONTINUE to do it WHILE I'm injured. I realized I need to change my exercise perspective a bit...but I cannot quit.

2. I was just beginning to crawl out from under the crushing self-doubt that I've carried around with me for so many years...this idea that I can't ever possibly do anything active that matters...that I could never be an athlete...that it was, frankly, just TOO LATE for me. I was starting to think that maybe it COULD be possible...and I was getting to a point where I could see myself in that role. Athlete. It's amazing. I'm 34 years old and I've got 3 kids. How could a re-birth like this be possible at this point in my life?

INTELLIGENT RESPONSE: Can I still be an athlete? Of course! This is temporary. I know that in my head. But the feelings and the lies that slip in when you can't do what you love are really difficult to ignore. I know they are lies and I know this is temporary. It's just hard.

3. Running was a way to push back against my past defining me. I had this terrible accident that broke half my body...and I somehow came back from that to do things that I never imagined I could do. As I recline on my couch with a bag of ice on my ankle, I have awful flashbacks of injuries past. It is really tough to fight those old demons and hold them at bay. There was a lot of depression surrounding that accident, specifically the lack of mobility. It's like a horrible re-run (no pun intended...but funny pun nonetheless).

INTELLIGENT RESPONSE: THIS IS NOT THE SAME! Not even close! I still have 90% of my body functioning, which leaves room for a LOT of activity. I just need to DO it!

4. On top of that, there is a whole other world of pain that has nothing at all to do with my ankle. It's this horrible situation where I have to choose between one course of action and another. And, they simply can't co-exist. Even though I love them both and don't want to let go of either. In addition, it's always a shock when someone makes a choice FOR you...without much input from you. That is what happened here. And so I'm left reeling from the effects of it...and I didn't have a plan for how to handle my emotions. I certainly didn't expect to lose this part of my life at the same time that I would temporarily lose running. That, in itself has been quite a blow.

INTELLIGENT RESPONSE: Move on. Right? Easier said than done. I have ONE friend that's been tracking with me through this ENTIRE situation. One day, she said to me, "Leah, it seems like you can't decide between two options here. If you could take everything you are, all your passions, your entire person and soul and wrap it up in a box and give it to one or the other, which would you choose?" I was actually pretty shocked how easily the answer came to me. "Neither." Neither deserves THAT. I'd choose ME.

And so, even as I cry myself to sleep every single night this week, I know that I'm strong. Because, when given a choice...my instant response was to choose myself...because I'm worth it. And that....THAT never would have happened 3 months ago, 6 months ago, a year ago.

So, friends...I'm sad. I'm very very sad right now. I won't lie to you. I haven't figured out how to stop my tears at times. My usual outlet (running) has temporarily been taken from me. But...I won't give up. I haven't bowed out. Please don't worry about that.

Listen, when I get use of this ankle again, you can bet I'll come back swingin' and you KNOW I'll have a few rage runs stored up too. We've all got stuff we deal with from time to time. If you promise to hang in there, I'll promise too.

Above all, I can't tell you what it means to have you all supporting me. You are lights in the darkness and I'm so SO thankful for you.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EFFRAYECHILDE 7/30/2012 8:07AM

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MARYJEANSL 7/27/2012 12:03AM

  I hope your ankle is much better soon, but I have to say that you are doing the right thing and making the right choices, even though they are hard. Good for you!

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KENZYE 7/26/2012 11:58PM

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GBAUM0432 7/26/2012 11:39PM

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REENIE131 7/26/2012 11:36PM

    Hope you feel better soon!

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MANILUS 7/26/2012 7:06PM

    I feel just like you are about not doing what you want with fitness. I went through a major weight loss of 187 lbs from 2005-2007 and put back on 153. I have 102 off again and I keep thinking I can do whatever I want for fitness. I have come to learn that at the age of 32, I am experienced hip and knee problems. I feel so sad that sometimes I have to take a break from Zumba my passion. I sincerely wish you the best in healing and getting back to your passion of running!

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BLUENOSE63 7/26/2012 6:59PM

  You are doing the right thing by getting your foot checked out. Better to heed doctor's advice than wreck your foot for good.

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NEWCHINELO 7/26/2012 6:23PM

    YOU WILL SURELY BE OKAY SOON!

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LILSPARKIE85 7/26/2012 6:05PM

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CAROL494 7/26/2012 4:58PM

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MARGARITTM 7/26/2012 4:42PM

    I just read something today about someone who used water jogging to maintain their fitness level while training for a distance run - when they got hurt.

Think about it it might help!

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ZZZZLISA 7/26/2012 4:29PM

    I totally understand being sidelined by your body just when you get your brain, willpower and motivation up to speed. I hope that you have a simple and speedy recovery. It will be easy to slip back into old habits when you are unable to keep running-- I hope that you will try something new like water aerobics or strength training to keep your mind conditioned to working out while you let your leg/ankle muscles heal. Thank you for sharing your experience with everyone- I hope that your SparkPeople community can help keep you on track. Stay healthy!

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EMILYDOODLE 7/26/2012 3:33PM

  Hope you are feeling better really soon. emoticon

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PHEFEY 7/26/2012 2:34PM

    That is a wonderful picture and saying...so true.
Stay strong even when it feels like everything is plotting against you.

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NELLBELLA26 7/26/2012 2:19PM

    Wishing you the best with your appointment today. emoticon emoticon

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THEIS58 7/26/2012 1:27PM

    Feel better soon!! Great blog. Love your honesty and adeptness at keeping it real.

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JAS9096 7/26/2012 12:22PM

    I hope everything goes alright with the ortho. :)

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HEIDIS53 7/26/2012 12:07PM

  I have been reading you blogs for the last few weeks and been so impressed by your willingness to share yourself with others so comletely. Thank you for taking the time you do to write and express yourself. It sounds like you are a help to many - including me! You seem to be going through a really bad time right now but the one thing I know is nothing ever stays the same - your situation will change and you'll be right back out there soon!

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MISTRESSZEN 7/26/2012 12:04PM

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GOULDSGRANITE 7/26/2012 11:22AM

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BANDMOM2012 7/26/2012 11:17AM

    Awesome!

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RITZYOGAGAL 7/26/2012 10:34AM

    Your blog really hit home with me today and its the reminder I needed. I had gotten on a new exercise program that was really challengeing me and I was seeing results. I was feeling sooo good and proud of myself when I started having problems with my hip. I'm starting to feel better but I'm a little afraid of hurting it again - never-the-less its time to give it a try. I really hope you feel better soon and stay true to all your positive thoughts.

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CATDUG19 7/26/2012 10:17AM

    Good luck on the recovery. I hate to say this BUT I think this injury has taught you so much about your own strength. You are an athelete

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JLEMUS1 7/26/2012 9:50AM

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GUDDIGO 7/26/2012 9:22AM

  I hope your ankle feels better

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TERRIPAL1 7/26/2012 8:58AM

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LIFEISPURRFECT 7/26/2012 8:16AM

    Sending you healing thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery. Take this time to focus on you and your mental health. You're such a strong person and an inspiration. emoticon

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WISDOM73 7/26/2012 7:50AM

    Hang in there!

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LITTLETEALOVER 7/26/2012 7:38AM

    Every runner knows what you're feeling in regards to your ankle. I twisted my ankle back in March and it still twinges every once in awhile. But, I finally got back into a consistent running schedule this month and it wasn't nearly as hard as I had expected it to be. You'll do it, too, and it will be just one more reason to be proud of yourself. Because you are awesome.

emoticon

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PENOWOK 7/26/2012 6:31AM

    Your wonderful determination tells me you'll be BACK!!! This is hard but not coming back is way worse!!

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 7/26/2012 3:20AM

    Keeping your speedy recovery in my thoughts and prayers.

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TERRIJ7 7/26/2012 2:02AM

    Leah, I love the way you went through this point by point! Great blog, great self-talk!

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CHARTHESTAR 7/26/2012 12:28AM

    I am so sorry that you can not participate in the run as you had planned.

There are reasons for everything- sometimes God reveals the reasons but most of the time the reason always remains hidden.

Take the time you have- focus on other areas of your health and life that need attention and maybe it will become clear.

Blessing to you and know that we all are disappointed along with you in this delay of a goal you had set for yourself.

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BLUEJEAN99 7/26/2012 12:27AM

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COACH_LU 7/25/2012 9:44PM

    Fall Seven Time, Stand Up Eight. -Chinese Proverbe (U can do it emoticon )

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JAMER123 7/25/2012 8:59PM

    emoticon even through the tears. Think about not ever being able to run again. Now think about taking a little time off from running to heal the ankle. Is it even a choice?
Sending emoticon emoticon & good vibes ((((())))) your direction for rapid healing and have you out on the road again!!

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HEARTS116 7/25/2012 8:38PM

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SUSANK16 7/25/2012 8:03PM

  Nice blog

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SANDYLH1 7/25/2012 7:31PM

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SUSIEMT 7/25/2012 7:08PM

    There is always next time!

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PATRICIAANN46 7/25/2012 6:33PM

  Stay Strong........... emoticon

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IAMAGEMLOVER 7/25/2012 5:37PM

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CICELY360 7/25/2012 5:32PM

  Good blog.

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JIBBIE49 7/25/2012 5:25PM

    emoticonWonderful to see your blog featured in the Spark Mail.

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LYNSEY723 7/25/2012 3:28PM

    It pains me to hear that you are having such a hard time with things right now! But you are a strong woman who will come back fighting! I hope things get better for you... you are in my thoughts!! emoticon

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SPECIALGURL7 7/25/2012 3:06PM

    Yes, I hate you will not be able to participate, but look at how far you have come. You have gained so much during the process that you can look back on and see how far you have come. Every thing will be alright. emoticon

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JEZEBELSK 7/25/2012 2:30PM

    I just hate seeing you in so much pain -- I'm not even talking about the physical pain here, though I feel bad about that. I'm sorry for all of the emotional turmoil that you are in concerning your injury and your other situation. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that things improve and the tears abate.

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FAT2FAB2012 7/25/2012 2:23PM

    I promise I won't give up, either, Leah. This is one of the many things I love about finding this site, this group of people, this 'family' of sorts. We can vent, get it out and encourage each other to push forward. I know you will deal with this and get past it even though it's hard right now. I'm cheering for you along with all these others!

Chelle emoticon

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GALINAZ 7/25/2012 1:48PM

    Do the color run in a wheelchair if you have to or with the boot on, you'll be glad you did! And check out this book, "Getting Old is Not for Sissies - Portraits of Senior Athletes" it's an inspiration at any age!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Board Posts for Broken Hearts

Monday, July 23, 2012

So, I'm not feeling it today. In fact, I'm very down. And since I know you don't come here to be pulled down and I want more than anything to lift you all up when you take the time to visit my blog, I will need to rely on some outside sources today.

I completely forgot I have an entire "Smiles" and "Inspiration" board over on Pinterest. So, today I'll share some things from there that make me kinda happy. I must admit...going through those boards did lift my spirits...a tiny bit. emoticon













Yowza...that last one. Anyway, hope those made you smile. Everyone have a great day, OK?

emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KHALIA2 9/22/2012 1:05AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANNAPOLITANYA 7/28/2012 7:36PM

    Love! Been feeling a little down myself lately...thank you for the inspiration!
emoticon

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MISSLISA1973 7/28/2012 9:46AM

    Zoey's is my favorite. Sounds like a good plan to me!

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LADYBUGOF14 7/28/2012 5:20AM

  Thank you for being " real" in your sharing today. Knowing where to go for encouragement is more than half the battle. May God bless you and give you the strength and peace you need...your the best! emoticon

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DEBK0923 7/27/2012 11:10AM

    all of those sayings are true, you'll pull through, give yourself the time to heal no matter how long it takes emoticon

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ASDOBBER 7/27/2012 9:06AM

    emoticon

Stay strong!

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SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 7/27/2012 8:18AM

    WOW, great, thanks for sharing!!!!

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TODAYIAM 7/26/2012 11:38PM

    Well they made my day a little better too emoticon

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LUVTOBOWL 7/26/2012 6:07PM

    One thing we know is that we all are human and this happens, I was just telling my children how I felt like this just a couple weeks ago. I know you'll get pass this and keep succeeding on your journey. May God give you the strength, peace and comfort you need. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PRAIRIECROCUS 7/26/2012 4:09PM

    emoticon for the inspiration !
Take good care !

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STUFFNEARTABOR 7/26/2012 3:39PM

    Way to go in digging for the positive view, even though maybe you didn't feel it when you started!

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BEEKERBOYY 7/26/2012 3:07PM

    Love this blog!

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LITTLEROX20 7/26/2012 2:26PM

    great quotes!

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OLIVE_LOAF 7/26/2012 2:18PM

    Great quotes! I especially like the Zooey Deschanel one. Shhhh... I'm still half asleep. I have actually told people, don't talk to me until I've had my coffee!

Very motivating stuff!

emoticon emoticon

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PENOWOK 7/26/2012 2:14PM

    Keep looking up! Little by little.

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GALINAZ 7/26/2012 1:10PM

    Something I found helped heal a broken heart - making new memories in places where "we" had been. Restaurants, movie theatres, walks...when I put down new memories it helped get over the old ones, just a thought.

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AGRANT9 7/26/2012 11:11AM

    emoticon These a really inspiring. We often forget how much we are really worth!

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ALWYS-LKN-UP 7/26/2012 11:01AM

    LOVE this, thanks for sharing!!!

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PROVERBS31JULIA 7/26/2012 10:56AM

    Is there a way to get in Pinterest without hooking it up to Twitter ir Facebook? I always get error messages, even when I got customized invitations feom various friends. Very weird.

But great motivational signs! I've seen a lot of them on facebook and just save it to iphone. Fixing to upload them into Walgreen's photo manager to get prints made. Then maybe use then as items foer my vision board.

Thanks for sharing!

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PEGGYO 7/26/2012 9:59AM

    emoticon

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 7/26/2012 9:57AM

    Awesome. I hope you are feeling better.

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PYNETREE 7/26/2012 9:34AM

    Put on a SMILE...sounds crazy, but it always helps bring me up a bit, when I'm down! emoticon



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PENNYPACKER3 7/26/2012 9:10AM

    Keep your chin up kiddo !

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MFLESCH 7/26/2012 9:01AM

    Thanks for the motivation today!

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BRENDAF761 7/26/2012 8:36AM

    Thanks for sharing! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TORAMPAUL 7/26/2012 8:18AM

    I LOVE the shower one!! :) Keep smiling--everyone feels down once in awhile (you're normal!), but look at all the SparkPeople you're motivating!! Glad to hear those quotes lifted your spirits a little, too; at least you know where to go when you're feeling a little blue. Hang in there!! And thanks for the smiles!
emoticon

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WENDYJM4 7/26/2012 8:15AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SOULFUL4 7/26/2012 8:12AM

  NICE QUOTES!!!

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INGMARIE 7/26/2012 8:08AM

    emoticonhope you will have a better day,
where no one speaks before 10.00 am
(i can relate)
emoticon

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HYATTI1 7/26/2012 8:07AM

    emoticon

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GRRARRGH 7/26/2012 8:05AM

    Thanks for these!

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MISSILENE 7/26/2012 6:52AM

    feel better soon

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NCSUE0514 7/26/2012 6:10AM

    emoticon

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NANA2ANGELS 7/26/2012 5:56AM

    Every day is a new challenge..take it on!! emoticon

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MERMAID524 7/26/2012 12:30AM

    It's just going to get better! emoticon

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UNIQUEBEAUTY 7/25/2012 10:41PM

    emoticon emoticon

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GOIN4GR8 7/25/2012 9:34PM

    Hope you're feeling better tomorrrow. (Thanks for the uplifting quotes, though.)

emoticon

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LIVINHEALTHY9 7/25/2012 8:45PM

    Thank you for these.
I really liked the shower one and also the one from Johnny Depp. He is awesome!
They made me smile.

I hope your day got better.

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 7/25/2012 7:11PM

    Great post

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BRASKIN 7/25/2012 6:26PM

  Wishing you a better day..... there are times where the dog is definitely preferred to people. emoticon

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PRAIRIEROSEND 7/25/2012 6:26PM

    That was just what I needed. Thanks! emoticon

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MARYJEANSL 7/25/2012 6:05PM

  Here's hoping you will have a better day tomorrow! And me too.

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LILSPARKIE85 7/25/2012 6:02PM

    emoticon

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MOMMY2TWO07 7/25/2012 5:44PM

    liked these

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BLUENOSE63 7/25/2012 4:37PM

  Those are great quotes!!! May have to use a few of those today!

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SPECIALGURL7 7/25/2012 4:26PM

    They really make you think and put things in focus.

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FIREFLY_MEDIC 7/25/2012 3:43PM

    :)

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NJWASICKE 7/25/2012 3:22PM

  thanks

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LADYJ6942 7/25/2012 2:57PM

    Wonderful and oh so true. Thanks for sharing and bring about a few giggles and smiles. Hang in there

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DANCINLOVE 7/25/2012 2:36PM

    Thanks, I needed that today!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Mystery Man

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Do you see this man?



He looks like a nice fella, doesn't he? Secretly, I think he looks like the lead character in that Pixar movie, "Ratatouille" but maybe that's just me.

This man has played a pretty big part in my life. He has been there at my lowest point and taken care of me. He is not my husband. He has seen a side of me that so many have never seen - a rather disgusting side, if I'm being honest. He is not a family member. But he should be...he knows more about me than a lot of people in my life know. You could say he knows me inside and out - and that would be an accurate statement.

This is Timothy Steiner. DR. Timothy Steiner to you and me. A man who knows intimately how many pieces of metal are currently growing into my bones. He was right by my side when I was wheelchair-bound and was learning how to walk (the second time). He gave me that disapproving look when I would proudly straighten my elbow for him and he wasn't satisfied with the range of motion. He doesn't mince words. And he doesn't mess around. And, that's good, because he shamed me into doing my physical therapy for 6+ months. And he healed me.

He's an expert in the field of sports medicine and he specifically works with athletes (even though his office is usually full of old people). He's the best kind of doc because you go in complaining of ANY type of pain and he will ALWAYS take an X-ray right then and there to find out what's actually wrong. No random diagnoses pulled out of his ass...just the facts.

I love this man, but I'd hoped I wouldn't ever have to see him again.

When I started running, I had a sinking feeling that I might need to get re-acquainted with the brilliant doctor. And, tomorrow, I will beg him to let me come in and see him...so he can tell me good or bad news about my ankle.

I'm pretty scared...because, frankly, if I hear the words "don't run for a month" or more...well, I know it won't make sense for some of you...but it will devastate me. But, if I put it off and try to ignore or ice the pain away, I will most certainly hear those words at a later date. I promised myself I'd go at the first sign of pain. Just as I won't break my promises to myself of consistent healthy living, I can't break this one either.

For now, I'm going to somehow drag my butt out of bed at 5am tomorrow and head over to the YMCA to see what kind of fun torture they have for me there that won't put any pressure on my ankle. It's not the same. I won't lie to you. I don't really want to do it. But...I know it will make me feel better and stronger. And, God knows, I NEED to feel stronger.

So...I'll keep you posted. I'm kinda down right now. But I wish you all the best week ever. Keep sparking, friends!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOANNHUNT 12/23/2012 7:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSLISA1973 7/28/2012 9:48AM

    emoticon

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FRUITLOOP740 7/26/2012 3:43PM

  He does look liek Ratatoutille. Ask him if he can cook?!?

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LANNIEMANUEL 7/25/2012 6:35AM

    good luck with the doctor.

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LILSPARKIE85 7/24/2012 7:25PM

    emoticon

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JIBBIE49 7/24/2012 2:32PM

    emoticon

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MEH50BEWELL 7/24/2012 12:04PM

    Hugs and good vibes sending your way. Keep your chin up - I know it sucks - I'm struggling with strange knee pain this week, but WE won't let this blip get in our way of future successes! Feel better soon emoticon

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MASTERPIECE8 7/24/2012 9:38AM

    I hope everything turned out well for you. I agree with you. He does look like the chef.

Barb

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JLEMUS1 7/24/2012 9:36AM

    Stay up sister!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/24/2012 9:36:49 AM

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CAROLZ1967 7/24/2012 9:14AM

    I'll be thinking of you & praying for good news!

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PENOWOK 7/24/2012 7:43AM

    Hoping for the best! Keep your head and your heart looking up...

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GRRARRGH 7/24/2012 7:41AM

    I'm so sorry, but you're right to get in there and see him sooner than later. Good luck! Also - yes, he looks exactly like the chef from Ratatouille!

Comment edited on: 7/24/2012 7:42:06 AM

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AWOOD1973 7/24/2012 3:47AM

    So glad that you are listening to your body and making yourself go see him. You definitely don't want to end up at square one, because of "telling" yourself it will be okay if you don't.

Best of luck and I hope that this darn ankle of yours stops being stubborn and gets you back to your new passion you have found....RUNNING! emoticon

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THEIS58 7/24/2012 3:40AM

    So sorry!


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BLUEJEAN99 7/24/2012 1:57AM

    emoticon

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CLAYARTIST 7/23/2012 11:20PM

  emoticon

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SNOWYOGA 7/23/2012 10:11PM

    I know from a hurt knee, that news is really hard. But I think you will do ok after a little time. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You will get there and good luck at the doctors emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TERRIJ7 7/23/2012 8:08PM

    Yes, he does look like the chef! I'm glad you have him in your life, Leah, because you need someone who will tell you the truth. He clearly WANTS you to be able to run, so he won't bench you unnecessarily and this problem will probably not go away by ignoring it, so you may as well just deal with it.



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BIRDLSLAURIE 7/23/2012 7:14PM

    Unfortunately if you don't take care of it now, it may become something you cannot overcome. I know it is painful (physically and mentally) but down the road you will be happy you have taken care of this, no matter what the doctor says. Good luck. Prayers are headed your way

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KIPPER15 7/23/2012 7:04PM

    You are doing it right. The doctor may not give you the news you want, but ignoring the problem will most likely make it much worse. Best of luck and follow the doctor's orders no matter how badly you don't want to. Maybe you can learn to love swimming. Sigh. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARYJEANSL 7/23/2012 7:04PM

  You are definitely, definitely doing the right thing to get the ankle checked out sooner rather than later. Here's hoping it isn't anything serious. Good luck!

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PATRICIAANN46 7/23/2012 6:03PM

  You are so smart to take this course of action. You definitely don't want to make your ankle worse by over-doing. emoticon

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SHRINK_U 7/23/2012 5:07PM

    Best wishes at the doctor tomorrow!

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SHOAPIE 7/23/2012 5:05PM

    emoticon emoticonAnd yes he does look like that character!

Comment edited on: 7/23/2012 5:06:13 PM

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VOLLEYGIRL77 7/23/2012 4:33PM

    Good luck!

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SERASARA 7/23/2012 3:47PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAXMOMMY 7/23/2012 3:12PM

    I'm glad you are seeking help with the pain before it does cause more infury and a longer healing time. I have a great ortho doc like that and I see him on Thursday myself. I'm not a runner, but not exercising for any length of time is torture! Listen to your body and listen to your wonderrful doctor! Let us know how it goes. Thanks!

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CHERRY666 7/23/2012 2:53PM

    Good luck and good for you for taking care of yourself!

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 7/23/2012 2:08PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BUTTERFLY-1976 7/23/2012 1:56PM

    Good luck. If he tells you that you can't run for any period of time...ask him if you can Aqua jog. It's way easier on the joints & many people do it when they are injured.

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KATHY_NATURELVR 7/23/2012 1:22PM

    I hope you heal quickly :)

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DIANNEMT 7/23/2012 1:18PM

    Good for checking it out EARLIER than LATER.

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TONYVAND1 7/23/2012 1:14PM

  Thanks for sharing will be praying for you.

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PAANDRUS 7/23/2012 12:52PM

    Good Luck! Hope all goes well!

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CMEEKER 7/23/2012 12:43PM

    Good luck! Good idea to see your doctor. You may not like what he has to say, but you know it is for the best. Heal quickly and keep your chin up! emoticon

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MOMMY445 7/23/2012 12:38PM

    hope that you feel better soon! you are in my thoughts and prayers! my daughter sends you many,many hugs!

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MIRANDA1115 7/23/2012 12:11PM

    I will keep you in my prayers. Keep your chin up!

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JEANNETTE59 7/23/2012 12:00PM

  I actually have two Orthopedic Surgeons in my life. I adore both and yes they are painfully honest, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm glad you are in such good hands.

I'm sending positive thoughts, emoticon, and most importantly my prayers.

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KAREN_NY 7/23/2012 11:51AM

    So sorry that your ankle is in that much pain. I've been dealing with a recurrence of hip pain this month that forced me to cut one of my HM's from this year's schedule... it sucks. People say "Swim." Maybe that'll work for you? It certainly creates some pretty lean Olympians!!

Gotta say... based on that picture... DR. looks just like the "Ratatouille" guy. :)
So part of you must chuckle at least a little. :) Maybe download the video to your ipod or smart phone for your workout, lol.

Get well & rockin' soon!
K:)


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SAINTBETH 7/23/2012 11:44AM

    I totally understand. For me it's my bike. Hope you get good news.

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SJKENT1 7/23/2012 11:43AM

    Praying that you will find the courage and strength to face this obstacle and for GOOD news.

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PATTISTAMPS 7/23/2012 11:35AM

    I hope that you will just find a muscle strain or some other innocous issue with your ankle - but if he says stop running, stop! You already know the wheelchair drill, and I am sure you don't want to be there again. Prayers for your healthy self!

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PNCARLSON 7/23/2012 11:33AM

  You are doing the right thing by seeing the doctor, so that you really know what is happening. The faster you get treated and helped, the sooner you can get back to running again. The effort and time will be well worth it.

I had problems with my knee for 2-3 years, and kept on putting off seeing the doctor. I finally had arthroscopic surgery where they found two tears that they fixed. Now I can walk faster, can climb stairs easily, push off with my foot, and do other things that I didn't realize were a problem. Hope that you will have s similar experience.

We are all rooting for you!

emoticon

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IAMAGEMLOVER 7/23/2012 11:11AM

    You are doing the right thing in seeing the Dr. If he tells you to stay off the ankle do it. It is better to do it now and have it heal correctly, than to run with it now and take the chance of further damage. I will keep you in my prayers hoping it is nothing serious. Take care.

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JENELOPE 7/23/2012 11:02AM

    I know exactly how you feel! I couldn't run for 2 months right in the middle of the 20 week training plan for the Disney Princess Half Marathon (ankle here, too, then the opposite knee after 2 weeks of PT for the ankle). Being forbidden to run was torture. I'm glad you know that you need to see your doctor now instead of damaging your ankle further. I'm also very glad that you have such a good doctor. I hope you get good news and heal quickly and completely!

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SWEETEYES0601 7/23/2012 10:59AM

    I understand the missing running thing. I can't stand to go for more than 24 without at least one good, quick sweat either from washing my truck to raking the yard to working on the bathroom remodel we're in the middle of. I hope your ankle has minor issues and heals fast. Good luck! emoticon

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HEALTHYKIM101 7/23/2012 10:52AM

    Just be glad that you have an excellent doctor behind you. Remember you can always hit the pool and swim laps, water aerobics, exercise or walk in the pool. It is less strain on your joints. Best of Luck to you and hoping for good news for you! emoticon

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PEGGYO 7/23/2012 10:15AM

    good thing you are getting it checked out. good luck

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LINDAKAY228 7/23/2012 10:04AM

    I'm so sorry and hope he can find good news to give you and not bad. In the meantime water aerobics, swimming, or running in the water can give you awesome workouts without the stress. When I had severe sciatica with pain from my hip to the inside of my right foot and could hardly walk working out in the water kept me sane and healthy. Hope you can get back to running soon. But even elite runners have their injuries and get discouraged. Bright days are ahead for you! It's just a bump in the road, and you will overcome!

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NEWMOM20121 7/23/2012 9:15AM

    I totally understand your concern.

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Poeticness? Poeticism? Poemnity? Poetry.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

A friend of mine just got a tattoo of a line from her favorite poem on her foot. I'd never heard of this poet or this piece before...but, as I read it, I thought to myself, "Geez...could this be more perfect for SparkPeople????" So, I thought I'd post and share it here.



The Layers
BY STANLEY KUNITZ

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.
Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face,
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
“Live in the layers,
not on the litter.”
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAXMOMMY 7/24/2012 11:57AM

    Thank you for sharing! It does fit our journey!

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ILIKETOZUMBA 7/24/2012 8:59AM

    Wow, what a beautiful poem and you're so right - it's PERFECT for us here on SP! Thank you for sharing.

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SNOWYOGA 7/23/2012 10:04PM

    Sorry I was late, but this was great! Thanks for sharing

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DATMAMA4 7/22/2012 11:41PM

    Excellent poem! Thanks for sharing.

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CINDYSDAY 7/22/2012 5:20PM

    emoticon

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4RASCALS 7/22/2012 5:09PM

    Loved it. Thanks for sharing.

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LINDAK25 7/22/2012 3:31PM

    And I am not done with my changes, as well.

Thanks.

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JEANNETTE59 7/22/2012 3:11PM

  Brilliant.....thanks so much for sharing.

Comment edited on: 7/22/2012 3:13:23 PM

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KBRADFORD88 7/22/2012 1:47PM

    What line did she have as her tatoo?

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GARDENSFORLIFE 7/22/2012 10:59AM

    Thanks for passing on this poem.
As always, great posting! emoticon

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KAREN42BOYS 7/22/2012 10:53AM

    Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?

I'm guessing she chose one of these lines.

Thank you for sharing this poem.

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LIFEISPURRFECT 7/22/2012 10:23AM

    Wonderful poem. Thank you!

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OPTIMIST1948 7/22/2012 10:21AM

    Beautiful poem. What line did your friend choose to tattoo?

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DIANNEMT 7/22/2012 8:33AM

    Thanks for sharing this.

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MILLEDGE2 7/22/2012 8:11AM

    Perfect! I pasted this into a file of poems which inspire me. I will try to keep that last line in my mind all day. emoticon

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MOMMARUNNER77 7/22/2012 7:49AM

    great poem

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MARATHONDAD 7/22/2012 7:38AM

    great poem

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SIBLEYHONEYBEE 7/22/2012 5:58AM

    Thank you for sharing this excellent poem. I love poetry because it helps us to look inside ourselves and see things from a different perspective. This poem is very enlightening!

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REGILIEH 7/22/2012 4:42AM

    TY!!!

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LORELLELAURA 7/22/2012 4:01AM

    Thanks for posting!
emoticon

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PROVERBS31JULIA 7/22/2012 1:08AM

    .... "I am not done with my changes."

Awesome!
Me neither!!

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SWEDE_SU 7/22/2012 12:29AM

    Thank you for sharing and providing inspiration as always.

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JENNNY135 7/21/2012 11:37PM

    emoticon

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RUN_BAKE_BLOG 7/21/2012 11:05PM

    I happen to like the poem that I wrote for you...
But this is nice, as well!
emoticon

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JENNCABA 7/21/2012 10:21PM

    emoticonThanks for sharing emoticon

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LITTLEROX20 7/21/2012 10:19PM

    emoticon

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TEDYBEAR2838 7/21/2012 10:15PM

    emoticon

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EJENKINSB 7/21/2012 9:58PM

    VERY fitting for Sparkpeople!!


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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/21/2012 9:52PM

    WOW, that really is completely appropriate for this site, thanks for sharing. Very profound,

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VCRUMP11 7/21/2012 9:50PM

    Don't stop posting! I love being inspired by your journey. Thanks -

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LILLI56 7/21/2012 9:46PM

    Getting a poem tattooed on your foot must be the newest thing.
A friend's daughter just had one from Wizard of oz put on her foot. I do like this poem, just not having it attached to my body. I have never heard of Kunitz either

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COCK-ROBIN 7/21/2012 9:46PM

    Great poem! Thanks for sharing.

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