LDRICHEL   47,525
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Mystery Man

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Do you see this man?



He looks like a nice fella, doesn't he? Secretly, I think he looks like the lead character in that Pixar movie, "Ratatouille" but maybe that's just me.

This man has played a pretty big part in my life. He has been there at my lowest point and taken care of me. He is not my husband. He has seen a side of me that so many have never seen - a rather disgusting side, if I'm being honest. He is not a family member. But he should be...he knows more about me than a lot of people in my life know. You could say he knows me inside and out - and that would be an accurate statement.

This is Timothy Steiner. DR. Timothy Steiner to you and me. A man who knows intimately how many pieces of metal are currently growing into my bones. He was right by my side when I was wheelchair-bound and was learning how to walk (the second time). He gave me that disapproving look when I would proudly straighten my elbow for him and he wasn't satisfied with the range of motion. He doesn't mince words. And he doesn't mess around. And, that's good, because he shamed me into doing my physical therapy for 6+ months. And he healed me.

He's an expert in the field of sports medicine and he specifically works with athletes (even though his office is usually full of old people). He's the best kind of doc because you go in complaining of ANY type of pain and he will ALWAYS take an X-ray right then and there to find out what's actually wrong. No random diagnoses pulled out of his ass...just the facts.

I love this man, but I'd hoped I wouldn't ever have to see him again.

When I started running, I had a sinking feeling that I might need to get re-acquainted with the brilliant doctor. And, tomorrow, I will beg him to let me come in and see him...so he can tell me good or bad news about my ankle.

I'm pretty scared...because, frankly, if I hear the words "don't run for a month" or more...well, I know it won't make sense for some of you...but it will devastate me. But, if I put it off and try to ignore or ice the pain away, I will most certainly hear those words at a later date. I promised myself I'd go at the first sign of pain. Just as I won't break my promises to myself of consistent healthy living, I can't break this one either.

For now, I'm going to somehow drag my butt out of bed at 5am tomorrow and head over to the YMCA to see what kind of fun torture they have for me there that won't put any pressure on my ankle. It's not the same. I won't lie to you. I don't really want to do it. But...I know it will make me feel better and stronger. And, God knows, I NEED to feel stronger.

So...I'll keep you posted. I'm kinda down right now. But I wish you all the best week ever. Keep sparking, friends!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOANNHUNT 12/23/2012 7:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSLISA1973 7/28/2012 9:48AM

    emoticon

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FRUITLOOP740 7/26/2012 3:43PM

  He does look liek Ratatoutille. Ask him if he can cook?!?

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LANNIEMANUEL 7/25/2012 6:35AM

    good luck with the doctor.

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LILSPARKIE85 7/24/2012 7:25PM

    emoticon

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JIBBIE49 7/24/2012 2:32PM

    emoticon

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MEH50BEWELL 7/24/2012 12:04PM

    Hugs and good vibes sending your way. Keep your chin up - I know it sucks - I'm struggling with strange knee pain this week, but WE won't let this blip get in our way of future successes! Feel better soon emoticon

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MASTERPIECE8 7/24/2012 9:38AM

    I hope everything turned out well for you. I agree with you. He does look like the chef.

Barb

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JLEMUS1 7/24/2012 9:36AM

    Stay up sister!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/24/2012 9:36:49 AM

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CAROLZ1967 7/24/2012 9:14AM

    I'll be thinking of you & praying for good news!

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PENOWOK 7/24/2012 7:43AM

    Hoping for the best! Keep your head and your heart looking up...

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GRRARRGH 7/24/2012 7:41AM

    I'm so sorry, but you're right to get in there and see him sooner than later. Good luck! Also - yes, he looks exactly like the chef from Ratatouille!

Comment edited on: 7/24/2012 7:42:06 AM

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AWOOD1973 7/24/2012 3:47AM

    So glad that you are listening to your body and making yourself go see him. You definitely don't want to end up at square one, because of "telling" yourself it will be okay if you don't.

Best of luck and I hope that this darn ankle of yours stops being stubborn and gets you back to your new passion you have found....RUNNING! emoticon

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THEIS58 7/24/2012 3:40AM

    So sorry!


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BLUEJEAN99 7/24/2012 1:57AM

    emoticon

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CLAYARTIST 7/23/2012 11:20PM

  emoticon

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SNOWYOGA 7/23/2012 10:11PM

    I know from a hurt knee, that news is really hard. But I think you will do ok after a little time. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You will get there and good luck at the doctors emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TERRIJ7 7/23/2012 8:08PM

    Yes, he does look like the chef! I'm glad you have him in your life, Leah, because you need someone who will tell you the truth. He clearly WANTS you to be able to run, so he won't bench you unnecessarily and this problem will probably not go away by ignoring it, so you may as well just deal with it.



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BIRDLSLAURIE 7/23/2012 7:14PM

    Unfortunately if you don't take care of it now, it may become something you cannot overcome. I know it is painful (physically and mentally) but down the road you will be happy you have taken care of this, no matter what the doctor says. Good luck. Prayers are headed your way

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KIPPER15 7/23/2012 7:04PM

    You are doing it right. The doctor may not give you the news you want, but ignoring the problem will most likely make it much worse. Best of luck and follow the doctor's orders no matter how badly you don't want to. Maybe you can learn to love swimming. Sigh. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARYJEANSL 7/23/2012 7:04PM

  You are definitely, definitely doing the right thing to get the ankle checked out sooner rather than later. Here's hoping it isn't anything serious. Good luck!

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PATRICIAANN46 7/23/2012 6:03PM

  You are so smart to take this course of action. You definitely don't want to make your ankle worse by over-doing. emoticon

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SHRINK_U 7/23/2012 5:07PM

    Best wishes at the doctor tomorrow!

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SHOAPIE 7/23/2012 5:05PM

    emoticon emoticonAnd yes he does look like that character!

Comment edited on: 7/23/2012 5:06:13 PM

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VOLLEYGIRL77 7/23/2012 4:33PM

    Good luck!

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SERASARA 7/23/2012 3:47PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAXMOMMY 7/23/2012 3:12PM

    I'm glad you are seeking help with the pain before it does cause more infury and a longer healing time. I have a great ortho doc like that and I see him on Thursday myself. I'm not a runner, but not exercising for any length of time is torture! Listen to your body and listen to your wonderrful doctor! Let us know how it goes. Thanks!

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CHERRY666 7/23/2012 2:53PM

    Good luck and good for you for taking care of yourself!

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 7/23/2012 2:08PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BUTTERFLY-1976 7/23/2012 1:56PM

    Good luck. If he tells you that you can't run for any period of time...ask him if you can Aqua jog. It's way easier on the joints & many people do it when they are injured.

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KATHY_NATURELVR 7/23/2012 1:22PM

    I hope you heal quickly :)

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DIANNEMT 7/23/2012 1:18PM

    Good for checking it out EARLIER than LATER.

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TONYVAND1 7/23/2012 1:14PM

  Thanks for sharing will be praying for you.

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PAANDRUS 7/23/2012 12:52PM

    Good Luck! Hope all goes well!

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CMEEKER 7/23/2012 12:43PM

    Good luck! Good idea to see your doctor. You may not like what he has to say, but you know it is for the best. Heal quickly and keep your chin up! emoticon

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MOMMY445 7/23/2012 12:38PM

    hope that you feel better soon! you are in my thoughts and prayers! my daughter sends you many,many hugs!

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MIRANDA1115 7/23/2012 12:11PM

    I will keep you in my prayers. Keep your chin up!

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JEANNETTE59 7/23/2012 12:00PM

  I actually have two Orthopedic Surgeons in my life. I adore both and yes they are painfully honest, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm glad you are in such good hands.

I'm sending positive thoughts, emoticon, and most importantly my prayers.

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KAREN_NY 7/23/2012 11:51AM

    So sorry that your ankle is in that much pain. I've been dealing with a recurrence of hip pain this month that forced me to cut one of my HM's from this year's schedule... it sucks. People say "Swim." Maybe that'll work for you? It certainly creates some pretty lean Olympians!!

Gotta say... based on that picture... DR. looks just like the "Ratatouille" guy. :)
So part of you must chuckle at least a little. :) Maybe download the video to your ipod or smart phone for your workout, lol.

Get well & rockin' soon!
K:)


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SAINTBETH 7/23/2012 11:44AM

    I totally understand. For me it's my bike. Hope you get good news.

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SJKENT1 7/23/2012 11:43AM

    Praying that you will find the courage and strength to face this obstacle and for GOOD news.

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PATTISTAMPS 7/23/2012 11:35AM

    I hope that you will just find a muscle strain or some other innocous issue with your ankle - but if he says stop running, stop! You already know the wheelchair drill, and I am sure you don't want to be there again. Prayers for your healthy self!

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PNCARLSON 7/23/2012 11:33AM

  You are doing the right thing by seeing the doctor, so that you really know what is happening. The faster you get treated and helped, the sooner you can get back to running again. The effort and time will be well worth it.

I had problems with my knee for 2-3 years, and kept on putting off seeing the doctor. I finally had arthroscopic surgery where they found two tears that they fixed. Now I can walk faster, can climb stairs easily, push off with my foot, and do other things that I didn't realize were a problem. Hope that you will have s similar experience.

We are all rooting for you!

emoticon

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IAMAGEMLOVER 7/23/2012 11:11AM

    You are doing the right thing in seeing the Dr. If he tells you to stay off the ankle do it. It is better to do it now and have it heal correctly, than to run with it now and take the chance of further damage. I will keep you in my prayers hoping it is nothing serious. Take care.

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JENELOPE 7/23/2012 11:02AM

    I know exactly how you feel! I couldn't run for 2 months right in the middle of the 20 week training plan for the Disney Princess Half Marathon (ankle here, too, then the opposite knee after 2 weeks of PT for the ankle). Being forbidden to run was torture. I'm glad you know that you need to see your doctor now instead of damaging your ankle further. I'm also very glad that you have such a good doctor. I hope you get good news and heal quickly and completely!

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SWEETEYES0601 7/23/2012 10:59AM

    I understand the missing running thing. I can't stand to go for more than 24 without at least one good, quick sweat either from washing my truck to raking the yard to working on the bathroom remodel we're in the middle of. I hope your ankle has minor issues and heals fast. Good luck! emoticon

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HEALTHYKIM101 7/23/2012 10:52AM

    Just be glad that you have an excellent doctor behind you. Remember you can always hit the pool and swim laps, water aerobics, exercise or walk in the pool. It is less strain on your joints. Best of Luck to you and hoping for good news for you! emoticon

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PEGGYO 7/23/2012 10:15AM

    good thing you are getting it checked out. good luck

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LINDAKAY228 7/23/2012 10:04AM

    I'm so sorry and hope he can find good news to give you and not bad. In the meantime water aerobics, swimming, or running in the water can give you awesome workouts without the stress. When I had severe sciatica with pain from my hip to the inside of my right foot and could hardly walk working out in the water kept me sane and healthy. Hope you can get back to running soon. But even elite runners have their injuries and get discouraged. Bright days are ahead for you! It's just a bump in the road, and you will overcome!

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NEWMOM20121 7/23/2012 9:15AM

    I totally understand your concern.

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Poeticness? Poeticism? Poemnity? Poetry.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

A friend of mine just got a tattoo of a line from her favorite poem on her foot. I'd never heard of this poet or this piece before...but, as I read it, I thought to myself, "Geez...could this be more perfect for SparkPeople????" So, I thought I'd post and share it here.



The Layers
BY STANLEY KUNITZ

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.
Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face,
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
“Live in the layers,
not on the litter.”
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAXMOMMY 7/24/2012 11:57AM

    Thank you for sharing! It does fit our journey!

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ILIKETOZUMBA 7/24/2012 8:59AM

    Wow, what a beautiful poem and you're so right - it's PERFECT for us here on SP! Thank you for sharing.

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SNOWYOGA 7/23/2012 10:04PM

    Sorry I was late, but this was great! Thanks for sharing

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DATMAMA4 7/22/2012 11:41PM

    Excellent poem! Thanks for sharing.

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CINDYSDAY 7/22/2012 5:20PM

    emoticon

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4RASCALS 7/22/2012 5:09PM

    Loved it. Thanks for sharing.

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LINDAK25 7/22/2012 3:31PM

    And I am not done with my changes, as well.

Thanks.

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JEANNETTE59 7/22/2012 3:11PM

  Brilliant.....thanks so much for sharing.

Comment edited on: 7/22/2012 3:13:23 PM

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KBRADFORD88 7/22/2012 1:47PM

    What line did she have as her tatoo?

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GARDENSFORLIFE 7/22/2012 10:59AM

    Thanks for passing on this poem.
As always, great posting! emoticon

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KAREN42BOYS 7/22/2012 10:53AM

    Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?

I'm guessing she chose one of these lines.

Thank you for sharing this poem.

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LIFEISPURRFECT 7/22/2012 10:23AM

    Wonderful poem. Thank you!

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OPTIMIST1948 7/22/2012 10:21AM

    Beautiful poem. What line did your friend choose to tattoo?

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DIANNEMT 7/22/2012 8:33AM

    Thanks for sharing this.

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MILLEDGE2 7/22/2012 8:11AM

    Perfect! I pasted this into a file of poems which inspire me. I will try to keep that last line in my mind all day. emoticon

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MOMMARUNNER77 7/22/2012 7:49AM

    great poem

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MARATHONDAD 7/22/2012 7:38AM

    great poem

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SIBLEYHONEYBEE 7/22/2012 5:58AM

    Thank you for sharing this excellent poem. I love poetry because it helps us to look inside ourselves and see things from a different perspective. This poem is very enlightening!

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REGILIEH 7/22/2012 4:42AM

    TY!!!

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LORELLELAURA 7/22/2012 4:01AM

    Thanks for posting!
emoticon

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PROVERBS31JULIA 7/22/2012 1:08AM

    .... "I am not done with my changes."

Awesome!
Me neither!!

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SWEDE_SU 7/22/2012 12:29AM

    Thank you for sharing and providing inspiration as always.

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JENNNY135 7/21/2012 11:37PM

    emoticon

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RUN_BAKE_BLOG 7/21/2012 11:05PM

    I happen to like the poem that I wrote for you...
But this is nice, as well!
emoticon

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JENNCABA 7/21/2012 10:21PM

    emoticonThanks for sharing emoticon

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LITTLEROX20 7/21/2012 10:19PM

    emoticon

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TEDYBEAR2838 7/21/2012 10:15PM

    emoticon

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EJENKINSB 7/21/2012 9:58PM

    VERY fitting for Sparkpeople!!


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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/21/2012 9:52PM

    WOW, that really is completely appropriate for this site, thanks for sharing. Very profound,

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VCRUMP11 7/21/2012 9:50PM

    Don't stop posting! I love being inspired by your journey. Thanks -

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LILLI56 7/21/2012 9:46PM

    Getting a poem tattooed on your foot must be the newest thing.
A friend's daughter just had one from Wizard of oz put on her foot. I do like this poem, just not having it attached to my body. I have never heard of Kunitz either

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COCK-ROBIN 7/21/2012 9:46PM

    Great poem! Thanks for sharing.

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

The High Cost of (Not) Running

Saturday, July 21, 2012

So, last night I got home from a Girls Night Out around 11:30pm. Woke up at 5:30am to meet my new running buddy, Sarah (see "Running Buddies") for a nice easy 7-mile run. Everything was wonderful. I took a gel (Hammer Orange - BLECH!) before the run because I didn't have time to figure out breakfast. HATE gels. Will try a couple other brands and flavors, but I am not hopeful. Took a package of Honey Stinger Chews for the middle of the run and those things were DELICIOUS (not even vitaminy tasting!) Took 24 oz. water and 24 oz. Nuun, but ended up only drinking about 12 oz of each because the temp was a PERFECT 53 degrees.

Sadly, I got home and after I finished stretching, I stood up and experienced sharp, shooting pain through my ankle. :( Iced it for a long time...it seems to be doing a little bit better now...walked it out a little bit and still have it in the brace...but it's not recovering quickly. I am not sure what's wrong. We'll have to play it by ear and if it isn't improved tomorrow, might think about seeing my ortho. I hate this...I have the Color Run next Saturday. I will NOT miss that!!! I have already determined that I will just walk the entire thing if I can't run it. So I'll still get to experience it. It's not a timed race, so it's not a huge deal.

Not sure about my workouts this week, but I figure I ought to have a back-up plan in case I can't run. I can't just let myself go completely...not with all the stress I have at work and the emotional stuff I'm dealing with. I've got to have some sort of outlet to sweat it out. So...I'll be thinking about that in detail today.

So, I received an interesting question in my SparkMail the other day and thought I'd address it in a blog.

QUESTION: How do you justify the cost of all these races? Don't they all have registration fees?

This got me thinking about how much it does cost me to run. First, I was just figuring up the race entry fees, but then I started to think about the cost of shoes, long run fuel, clothing and gear, travel for races, etc and I thought it would be interesting to map it all out and see what the total is...just for curiosity. I am also assuming that I will only be running half marathons this year...no marathons in this financial plan yet. Those are much more expensive.



So, this is another super SCIENTIFIC study (with one respondent...which is me). We're gonna go ahead and try to figure an entire year. This will be highly inaccurate, I'm sure. But fun...and scary.

Running Shoes: $400
I'm going with an average price of $100 for a good pair of shoes (although many will cost more) and, since I run about 20 miles or less per week, I figure I will need to replace my shoes every few months or so...for a total of 4 pairs per year.

Running Clothes: $250
This is probably low for most runners...but I don't go all fancy, yo. Target has some AMAAAAZING running clothes and, if you catch the sales, you can get stuff pretty cheap. I can get about 3 pairs of running socks for $8. I bought two packs of those. I also bought 4 sports bras for a total of about $30 once and I expect them to last a year...I take very good care of them and never let them go through the dryer. Currently, I only have two really good, high quality wicking shirts for warmer weather and two pairs of running pants. Shhh...I wear both outfits twice and then I wash them. LOL. I will probably have to invest in some winter clothing at some point. I really don't mind having two outfits that I rotate over and over.

iPod Shuffle & Skull Candy Earbuds: $60
I did buy an iPod Shuffle because it's small and it clips on to my clothing and it's just easier than dealing with a full size mp3 player. The Skull Candy earbuds are the soft rubber that wrap around your ear so they don't fall out, even if you're sweating. This purchase has been invaluable.

Fuel for Longer Runs (gels, chews, Nuun, etc): $350
This also might be a little low of an estimate. Some people take 2 gels at a time. So far, I have not needed that much. But I figured about 4 gels (or similar items) per week - just for my long runs or races.

Race entry fees: $300
A 5k is usually $15-$20. I tend to do mostly 5k races, so it's not really breaking the bank. But half marathons start to get into the $40 and up range. This estimate is based on a race schedule of about seven (7) 5k races and 2 half marathons in a year...which is how my first year looks.

Travel for races: $250
This includes gas, hotel, food for a trip outside of my hometown. Most of my races this year are local, but I am going to figure in two out of town races, which require travel, for the purposes of this blog post. I'm also figuring in sharing a hotel room with friends.

TOTAL FOR ONE YEAR OF 7 5K RACES AND 2 HALFS: ~$1600/year

So, yeah...that seems like a lot, right? Well, how much does it cost me NOT to run?

Here are some ideas of alternative ways to use my money:

Starbucks Specialty Drink every weekday for a year: $910

McDonald's Value Meal 3 times a week for a year: $546

2 New Kinect Games per Month for a Year: $700

Going to the Bars to party every weekend (2 drinks): $780

Or how about these benefits? Can you put a dollar value on:

1. Improved Health
2. Disease Prevention
3. Weight Loss
4. Stress Relief
5. Eliminating Depression
6. Increased Confidence

You know, I didn't need all these facts and figures to answer the original question. I already knew the answer. The answer is...how do I justify NOT spending the money to run? It's something I love...something I have found a deep passion for. And, when you love something, you don't care what it costs.

People pay for things they WANT to pay for...pure and simple. At this point in my life, I just really want to be healthy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATNCAG 4/23/2013 10:36AM

    Wow, thanks for the info! Very informative!

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VBA2009 4/5/2013 1:17PM

    emoticon

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KHALIA2 9/24/2012 9:30PM

  Continue to do what you love to do! RUN! emoticon

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SPSPSP1 8/26/2012 3:24AM

    Thanks for the cost breakdown!

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HAPPIMOMMIE 8/16/2012 9:57PM

  I can't wait to start running.This is so true! I used to be a heavy drinker about a year ago and I did a break down similar to this one involving my drinking. WOW was it an eye opener.

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VELRENO 8/14/2012 9:28PM

    I like to figure the cost of medical care as opposed to the cost of fresh healthful groceries. Much better to pay to be healthy.

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ALADY2BE 8/6/2012 3:27PM

    Great blog...investing in being your best in priceless and worthy of sacrifice if need be. I bought my first pair of tennis shoes where I spent over $40 in prep for my first 1/2 marathon. That investment of approx. $100 helped me to exceed my minutes per mile goal and achieve a sense of accomplishment that was only surpassed when I did my second half and shaved off almost 2 minutes per mile.

Keep running!

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KANSASROSE67 8/1/2012 2:08PM

    Great blog!

I've been running outside, year-round, for more than 2 years and I really haven't spent even close to that amount. Since my long runs have not ever been more than 8 miles, I don't buy any special fuel. (I have used a few Gummi Bears as fuel on my 8-milers and they work fine for me!) I use a free app on my phone to track pace, mileage, route, include, etc. If I want music, I listen to Pandora stations (also free) on my phone.

I bought a couple of packs of decent socks which have lasted 2 years and are still as good as new. I bought one wicking shirt (on sale) and often just run in t-shirts or tanks. I have one pair of running shorts I got at a race and 1 pair I bought. I have one cold gear shirt, one pair of cold gear tights, and one pair of running pants. In rain or cold I throw on a windbreaker I bought at a thrift store for $2.00! I have three sports bras, which like you, I take very good care of. I replace my shoes every 500 miles so I'm getting ready for my 4th pair (I run about 15-16 miles a week.)

I'm saying all this to let anybody out there know that running does NOT have to be an expensive sport at all. You can make it expensive if you want all the latest clothes and gadgets, but none of that is necessary if you just want to enjoy the health, fitness, and emotional high of running!

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LIVIN2LOVE1 8/1/2012 1:23PM

    Great blog! I'm new to running... in my first month. I appreciate your passion for the sport.


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EFFRAYECHILDE 7/31/2012 7:43AM

    Awesome post. So true about the hidden costs of not running/exercising.

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STACOLEE 7/29/2012 5:33PM

    Loved the Blog even though I dont...DONT run....I hate it. but I will be doing the Gritty Goddess Run and Obsitcal Course in November so I was also figuring up how much it was going to cost me. For the one run it will be about $300.00 and after the mud I may have to throw the clothes away.

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KAKLUCK 7/29/2012 4:11PM

    Awesome...love it!!!

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NSOLORIO 7/29/2012 12:12PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STARLIGHT615 7/27/2012 9:54AM

    Awesome Blog!!! Great points too!! Sure you can spend alot of money on Crappy foods when instead u choose to spend it on making urself Happy and healthy! Go You!!!

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VIMVIGOR 7/27/2012 2:15AM

  Excellent blog!!! Very informative!!! Health & Pleasure - Priceless.
Cheryl emoticon

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CATLOVER110 7/26/2012 4:24PM

    I really enjoyed reading this. Great blog!

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CARPROTH 7/26/2012 11:35AM

    Spending money is like eating - we all do it. The only variation is WHAT we eat or WHAT we spend it on. Opting for something healthy, that gives you pleasure, that may also help others is a thumbs-up choice in my book!

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EMILYULM1 7/26/2012 10:27AM

    Great blog. We ALLnspend money. Might as well spend it on healthy pursuits.

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CPATRICK9 7/26/2012 10:15AM

    emoticon

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EEEEELIZABETH 7/25/2012 10:30PM

    awesome post .... thank you!

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TAMMIEANN76 7/25/2012 9:09PM

    emoticon

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LEAR3200 7/25/2012 6:56PM

  I love how you put this into perspective!!

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DEBK0923 7/25/2012 2:41PM

    I don't know anything about running, except the costs for shoes, and some are expensive. My boyfriend has to get a new pair every three months. good blog

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LAURENBNJ 7/25/2012 11:00AM

    The cost of running certainly has kept medical costs lower for me.
However, I don't spend as much money as you. I don't do many races and I don't buy shoes that often. I hardly ever buy new shoes. Now, I know that some people say that you should buy new ones very frequently, I am one of those who don't really agree with it. I haven't found any studies that have convinced me otherwise. I'm never sure of who is studied, which brands of shoes, who is conducting the study, etc. I check the tread, make sure that they aren't stretching out, and check for holes. I also wear different insoles.
I don't race a lot, so I spend less money traveling, etc. I have found many local races from 5k - marathon that are very good deals. I would consider running shorter ones or less advertised. It costs money to advertise as much as some races do. I have found that a lot of the more expensive runs have more to offer, though. I would like to race a little more.
Also, for shorter runs, and I mean 1.5 hours or less, then you don't really need to refuel with gels, etc. Water should suffice if you (or anyone else) normally eat right throughout the day. Have some protein after the run, or if you really feel like you need something, have something small and much cheaper on the run. I do granola bars once in a while or fruit.
I spend money on clothes, though. I workout in all weather and inside, so I need a variety of clothing to avoid getting sick, too cold, or too hot.
Luckily, the iPod should be a one time thing and not something you buy every year.

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CHRISTINALOVES 7/25/2012 9:30AM

    emoticon
So few people take the time to count the actual cost of things that they do, so kudos for you taking the time to do this. I remember a few different people bing critical of us for having horses, and then I pointed out how much they spent on their smoking per month, that for that amount they could have 2 plus horses, and that didn't include their recreation gambling. My husband & I came to the conclusion that everyone has somewhere they spend their 'extra' money, we just happen to know where that is. The value that comes from having an outlet for your stress, and knowing it. That in itself is so valuable. I agree with previous poster: ROCK ON emoticon

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123ELAINE456 7/25/2012 7:14AM

  AWESOME!!! Go For It!!!God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.

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PRAYINGSUZIE 7/25/2012 12:35AM

    emoticon

WOW! This was an eye opener! Thank you so much!

Suzie

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NURSELAUREN 7/24/2012 11:50PM

    emoticon

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MISSLISA1973 7/24/2012 9:16PM

    Rock on!

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SEATOWN_GAL 7/24/2012 5:05PM

    I have to agree. While there are so many free ways to get out and move, there are some that cost money for one reason or another. I take classes - sure I could do dvd's at home, but I love the classes and because of that I go. My biggest expense outside of the class cost are my shoes and bra's. (I don't spend much on clothes and only look for comfort and wicking). For shoes I have had foot issues in the past and have since been fitted to work best with Asics gel running shoes. For the bra, I am top heavy and the only ones that have ever worked are Enell and 1 by Moving Comfort. And while I hate spending that kind of money on a bra (and not the sexy kind!) I love how I feel and how strong I am getting and it is so worth it!

emoticon

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IHEIDIBEFITT 7/24/2012 2:35PM

    The only thing I see you don't NEED to spend money on to be healthy is the races/travel cost. I did them for the fun and didn't worry about the money, gas was all I spent too and they were always local. And my gosh, $250 for running clothes? Yikes, I have yet to spend that much. I'm cheap though and don't run as much as you...so I guess I can't say yikes because there's no telling how much I would spend if I ran like you.

I've sworn off Starbuck here lately, so I wouldn't spend that much money there..and even when I went, I didn't go every week X amount of time either.

Races are for the experience and fun competition..you can run on the road without paying an entry fees, the cost can seem crazy to others but if you can afford it then I think the fun is worth paying for. I pay to show horses just to get a ribbon..same thing!

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SKNYMOMWANNABE 7/24/2012 2:30PM

    There are a lot of shorter (10K and under) 'fun runs" out there that are inexpensive. We have Eden's Hospital's Run to the Lake, I think it's $15?You might not get the free tshirt, generally the $ goes to a decent cause and sometimes it's even a write off! I agree, my races are my me time and a fun way to chill with some of my gf's. A Two-fer if you will! Be nice to your ankles, they are slow to heal!

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NANCYSINATRA 7/24/2012 1:12PM

    Great article, and I agree to a point. You can still NOT do all those other things, and run (or walk) for free by not participating in the marathon runs. Having not worked for a year, the one 5K I entered cost me 45.00. As great an experience as that was, there is no way I could afford to do it again anytime soon.

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DOTTY7267 7/24/2012 11:59AM

    I definitely agree! We do pay for other things regularly, like fashion and clothing, so why not also invest in a healthier me. This is what I share when asked why I buy certain "health" foods instead or regular brand items.

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FLATROSIE 7/24/2012 10:53AM

    Word!

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ANGELOO29 7/24/2012 10:04AM

    Awesome comparison!

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MOMOSG 7/24/2012 9:50AM

    Good question. Great Answer!

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CAROLZ1967 7/24/2012 9:22AM

    Good blog! Love the comparisons. :-)

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SLFGOLF 7/24/2012 1:01AM

    My husband would first tease me that the cost of the new wardrobe was high. Then he said my improved health was worth every penny and more. We figured I've added years to my life and now that we are making these changes to his lifestyle - we hope we can do the same for him. Whatever the costs maybe..it is worth every penny for a longer and healthier life together.

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FATHINSN 7/24/2012 12:31AM

    For me, who still not use with running, I will use half of the budget as #1 my shoes will last longer as I don't run as much as you, #2 I don't go to races, hehe. Anyhow, thanks for sharing the cost and why it's much better to spend it for running than on junk foods!

Don't forget to compare costs of medicine if you don't start taking care of your body :D I rather pay a lot now for healthy food and fitness than pay much, much more for medicines and operations :D

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CATREBEL 7/23/2012 11:02PM

    Great comments! Participating in races is expensive but it is something that we enjoy as a family! And the effect it has on relieving stress is priceless! Thanks for the post!

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LITGIRL101 7/23/2012 10:39PM

    Loved your blog! You make sense and do so quite entertainingly! I totally agree that the cost is a no-brainer. Keep up the great work - running and writing! (Make sure to take care of yourself.)

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HEALTHYLADY12 7/23/2012 9:02PM

    Amen! Thats a good article!

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ITISABOUTME 7/23/2012 8:46PM

    I found this very interesting as I am not a runner! I had no idea that the monetary cost was so high (yes I thought that was pretty high) but at the same time I learned something new. Thank you for the informative blog even if it was a guesstimate on price it was still an eye opener! Happy Running!!

Comment edited on: 7/23/2012 8:46:46 PM

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LILSPARKIE85 7/23/2012 7:14PM

    emoticon

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NAOLEE 7/23/2012 7:11PM

    It is like a boxer emoticon that is old and he lost a couple of fights; after that; he say: "I'm not going to fight anymore; because I'm old; there are many young fighters and I want to give them a chance to fight". After a few months he comes back again; saying: "I believe I have some energy to make a couple of fights". Maybe he doesn't have the energy; but he loves it the fight. emoticon It is like a junkie that needs a shot of some drug to feel the relieve. I understand you. I don't like to run. I was in the military service and I hated when everyday I had to run. Now, I can't walk 50 consecutive steps. emoticon. emoticon for you; for loving to be a runner. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STINASTEW 7/23/2012 7:08PM

    I agree with the cost analysis. I mean, I'm just starting out running, so I haven't invested near what you were estimating (accurate or not), but the races are all for good causes. I always do the Race for the Cure, which is now 45min away since I moved. I love going bc I get exercise, contribute to a good cause AND it's usually a good time with friends, walking around the tents & stands they have. It's something to look forward to & a goal to WORK forward to, as well. I agree that "People pay for things they WANT to pay for...pure and simple." This blog was nicely put! :) Hope your ankle heals up quickly!!

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KIMI_SILVA 7/23/2012 5:43PM

    I love, love, love this blog; and, I really appreciate the way that you've broken it down and put it in perspective.

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NELLBELLA26 7/23/2012 5:02PM

    Pretty cool to see it broken down like that. Running is good for your mental health as well as your physical health. Keep going. Hope that ankle feels better soon. emoticon

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CATDUG19 7/23/2012 5:02PM

    Great Blog I love how you broke down the cost of running!!

I think we talk oursewlves out of things (ie running, gym memberships, personal trainers) becasue of the cost. I know I have been gulity of this, but we all need to look at what we get for being healthly!

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Special Treat Today

Friday, July 20, 2012

I have got a special treat for you today!!! It's a GUEST blog! Now, you know I don't do this...well, ever. I do, however, peruse most of your blogs and try to read as many of them as I can. I have a SparkFriend that I've known for awhile and he doesn't post too often, but today's blog was just...special. I thought, "I have GOT to share that with my peeps."

So, friends, let's give a warm welcome to fellow runner, MARATHONDAD (a.k.a. Eddie).

I'll let him give you a little summary of himself and how he got to be where he is today:

"My wife, Brenda (MOMMARUNNER), is more than just my wife – she is my best friend, mother of my kids, and my running partner. She has always loved me unconditionally, even when I was 125 pounds overweight. After our first date, I knew I was going to marry her and less than year from that, I did.

I was overweight and heading down an unhealthy road. One day she called me out and dared me to join her at the Running Room. I’m a guy…and she had just challenged my manhood. What else could I do? I started to run.

I remember our first run was 8 km, which probably wasn't the best idea, now that I look back on it. It was so hard, I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t walk for a week afterwards. But we kept going to the Running Room and I kept improving and then I was hooked.

My weight started to fly off. Before I knew it, we had agreed to do a half marathon on Father’s Day. I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate Father’s Day than running a half marathon with my wife by my side. After I crossed the finish line, I was on Cloud Nine! Believe it or not, I almost cried. After that day, I couldn’t wait for our next race.

Since then, I’ve completed 7 half marathons (all of them with my wife by my side). She saved my life. I was borderline diabetic and my cholesterol levels were awful. Now I am healthy and will be able to live a long life and watch our four kids grow up. (That's right, folks...Eddie and Brenda have FOUR kids under the age of 5! YOWZERS! No wonder they run!!!)"



Aren't they adorable???

You all know that I have talked in my blogs about how running has been helping me handle grief and stress and joy and all the other emotions that come with life. In light of that, I thought it was so appropriate to share Eddie's story with you today. It is one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard and I know you will agree.

"Sometimes my job is so difficult and it can be so cruel. I manage recreation in a nursing home. My job is very rewarding and I meet some of the most amazing people. For our residents, this is the last place they live before they go to heaven. I want to make sure their stay is full of fun and dignity. My residents are like fine wine…they get better with age.

Yesterday, I lost two of my favorite ladies. One of them was my all-time favorite. She was 102 and still very active. Let me repeat that…102 and STILL ACTIVE. So, when you say you are too tired or too old, remember my senior.

She would ask me every day, “Did you go for your run?” I would always assure her that I did. She would tell me that she had done her laps on the floor. She was so proud of me and proud of the father I was becoming. My kids would visit her and I was so happy she got to meet my precious Abby before she passed.

Yesterday, I was talking to her before the end and was holding her hand. With a smirk on her face, she asked me, “Did you get your run in today?” This beautiful lady was on her deathbed and she was worried about me! I held her hand until her final breath.

I needed to grieve so badly last night, but I was scheduled to work my second job. This morning, I went for a 10km run, as a way to say good-bye to my ladies. I probably scared people passing by. I was running so hard, all the while also crying so hard. But it felt so good to say good-bye. When I was done, I looked up at the sky and I said, “Yes, I did my run!!!!!”

I know that touched you as deeply as it did me...so let's show Eddie some love. Comment away, folks! Send him goodies! Tell his wife how amazing she is too! Let's love on this family and help to carry them through a difficult time. That's what we do best here at Spark. So....ok...GO.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SKYVALLEYGAL 11/24/2012 6:44PM

    Extremely touching and inspiring! emoticon

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KHALIA2 9/24/2012 9:36PM

  God bless you! Your blog touched me deeply.

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FUSCHIA6 9/16/2012 1:34AM

    I sometimes cry over our patients too. I'm glad you have a loving heart.
Bless you for caring.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RONNIEG52 8/8/2012 3:44PM

  Thanks for this beautiful and uplifting story. What an inspiration. God bless you both.

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WHITEANGEL4 7/28/2012 11:44PM

    Thanks to you you make peoples lives happy. It takes a special person to work with the eldery on a full time basis. My Mom had an apartment in an assisted living home and I really appreciated the people that worked there. They become like family to her. I was 750 miles away and could not get there as much as I would like to. But when I was there, the poeple that were with her were great. ONe girl knew that Mom liked a sausage and biscuit form McDonalds and she would slip one into her each week. My best friend worked in a home and she was so close to her wards and loved them so. It was really hard on her when she would lose one. There is a special place for people like you

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AUSSIEFLOSS 7/28/2012 12:13AM

    Great story! I think it's courageous to work with people that you know you will loose one day, and then to be so honestabout grieving in public (while running!)

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MKATE88 7/26/2012 6:48PM

    I couldn't even imagine this kind of pain! Losing one close friend is hard enough, but two at a time? All I have to say is, eddie and brenda, you guys are awesome!

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MOMMY445 7/26/2012 1:21PM

    what a great blog! thanks for sharing!

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GOCALGAL 7/25/2012 5:59PM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing. What great role models for your children!

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NANCYSINATRA 7/25/2012 4:30PM

    walking/jogging/running really does help to release those happy endorphins. I love it for therapy

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DEBK0923 7/25/2012 2:28PM

    loved this, great blog

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PMFISH 7/25/2012 12:29AM

    Very moving. Thanks for sharing.

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LANNIEMANUEL 7/24/2012 10:32PM

    love it

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FIREFLY_MEDIC 7/24/2012 6:42PM

    inspirational

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CHERYLSBUTT 7/23/2012 10:10PM

    Sharing yourself with those ladies is what made the relatioship special.
Thoughts and prayers are with you...as are your ladies.
Keep Running!!!

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SPECIALGURL7 7/23/2012 2:59PM

    This is such a heartfelt blog. We never know who our inspiration may be. emoticon

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KARA151 7/23/2012 12:36PM

    I loved your story...keep up the great work.

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JWADDELL2 7/23/2012 11:46AM

    How amazingly wonderful!!! Thanks for sharing!!
emoticon emoticon
Janet

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JERICHO1991 7/23/2012 11:45AM

    Thank you for sharing. Motivating and moving.

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KNITTYKITTY01 7/23/2012 11:19AM

    That brought tears to my eyes. Very touching and inspiring.

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MOMOSG 7/23/2012 10:49AM

    Everytime I read something you write it gets me thinking deeply!

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MYNUMBER1 7/23/2012 9:17AM

  Wow! this is a great post. It has certainly motivated me. Thanks:)

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NYKIMMIE 7/23/2012 8:22AM

    Great blog!

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MLIPPERT1 7/23/2012 8:21AM

  That is an amazing story. God bless them both and all his friends in heaven.

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DMEYER4 7/23/2012 7:01AM

  what a beautiful story. good luck to Eddie and his family and may they have many more beautiful years to come.

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CASPIAN3 7/23/2012 7:00AM

  So inspiring!!! Thank you for sharing this story with us - it will stay with me as I do my walks.
My VERY BEST WISHES and POSITIVE THOUGHTS are with you. emoticon

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GBAUM0432 7/22/2012 11:19PM

  emoticon

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PHILTRILL 7/22/2012 8:15PM

    I am so glad that she call him out on that run and his male ego was crushed, most of all I am so glad he accepted it change his life for the best looking back at it she saved his life and today they are buddies in their lives together. It is an awesome blog.

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CORINA-MOMOF4 7/22/2012 7:27PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TEACHEROF4TH 7/22/2012 7:04PM

    Love your story... so inspiring! Thank you!

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TPETRIE 7/22/2012 6:23PM

  Thanks for sharing such a beautiful blog.

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NANAGO1204 7/22/2012 4:40PM

    emoticon I am so sorry for your loss Eddie...I too have and have had some wonderful elderly friends who have cheered me on in many areas of my life over the years. It is awesome that you ran with your grief and I know she was proud of you!! ...and good for you Brenda for your support and the 'call out' that has blessed both of your lives!! ...and thank you LDRICHEL for sharing their story...it warmed my heart today. emoticon

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ROJAKHAN 7/22/2012 1:54PM

    emoticon

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GAZAGIRL29 7/22/2012 1:14PM

    Thank you for the idea of a guest blog...this love and dedication was a great way to energize me for the week ahead! emoticon

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NO_SUBSTITUTE 7/22/2012 12:54PM

    Thank you for sharing

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EMILYDOODLE 7/22/2012 12:05PM

  thanks for sharing, sorry for your loss!

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SUSIEGKORN 7/22/2012 11:17AM

    Heartwarming and motivating! emoticon

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THOMS1 7/22/2012 8:29AM

    emoticon

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CAM2438 7/22/2012 7:27AM

    Such a great story. Thank-you for sharing it with us. emoticon

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LEANMEAN2 7/22/2012 6:57AM

    Thanks for sharing

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GREENFAIRY390 7/22/2012 2:03AM

  I my run today too (I completed Warrior Dash)....for those that can no longer do it. Bless you for sharing your story.

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TERRIJ7 7/22/2012 1:44AM

    Thanks for sharing with us, Leah. I visited your friend's page and left a goodie. What a special couple they are!

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SLFGOLF 7/22/2012 1:12AM

    Beautiful post!

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SPSPSP1 7/22/2012 12:29AM

    Truly beautiful and a great reminder about the deep and wonderful humanity of those around us, including the author and his friends who left our world.

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JMORRIS85 7/21/2012 11:52PM

    What a beautiful and inspiring story. With all of the horror stories out there about nursing homes, it is great to hear a story that proves that some people actually care. emoticon emoticon

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CHARTHESTAR 7/21/2012 11:32PM

    Tears.
Sorry for your loss of someone super special. Just be grateful for the opportunity and the time you got to share with her.

Your marriage sounds Great and you are truly a blessed person!

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ROCKYCPA 7/21/2012 11:28PM

    What a great success story - thanks for sharing.

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JUNETTA2002 7/21/2012 11:12PM

    Awesome post

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HIGHNOON 7/21/2012 11:03PM

  emoticon emoticon

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TUBLADY 7/21/2012 10:52PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Look What You Did!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

This day was...a day. I am completely and totally emotionally depleted as I write this. It started last night actually. Our company is having our once per year project managers' face to face meeting. Lucky for me, it's here in Bloomington so I don't have to travel for it. But, since it's here and since I am the Executive Director's right-hand woman, the mantle of hostess falls to us. My boss got stuck in Austin, TX last week because her husband had a medical emergency and was still in the hospital down there. So, here I am (a nobody, really) left to welcome these project managers in and show them a great time.

We had a team dinner last night and it was lovely. Ate WAY too much. Drank WAY too much. It's easy to do when everything is on the company's dime. You know, I've still not learned how to balance food in this specific realm. If I am not paying for it, I will stuff myself...even if I KNOW I'm going over on calories and I'm not hungry. But it's like, "Why WOULDN'T I order wine and dessert if it's FREE?" I have GOT to get this under control before my next business trip - because, at the end of my next business trip, is a flight home to Indy and a half marathon the very next morning. I can't be messing around with food that week.

Of course, what I'm insinuating is that I also ate horribly all day today too. UGH! I feel SO gross!!!

In addition to the food issues today, I am completely beat...I mean, thinking all day really takes it out of ya. Being totally serious here. Strategizing and focusing and taking notes and trying to understand tech speak for 8 hours is just exhausting.

But it's not just that. If I could get real and just admit something...I am so new to this whole "professionalism" thing. I feel SO out of place. I thought I was doing pretty well for most of the day today. But, upon leaving the meeting, I was hit with an overwhelming feeling of not being good enough. Like I'm just SO out of my league here and what am I DOING thinking I can fit into this world? I look back on the entire day and I see the things that I said and think, "Oh, Leah...why did you SAY that? It must have come off as SO unprofessional or obnoxious! What a terrible way to represent the Foundation." I keep trying to learn and I keep messing up. Will I ever get the hang of this?

On top of the feelings of professional failure, my co-worker was upset with me because I didn't help support her more during our presentation on a daily company blog. I honestly don't know what I did wrong, but I could tell she was pretty angry.

And in the back of my mind, I'm dealing with all the other emotions from this other issue that I'm going through...the death of a special relationship, which I'm thoroughly grieving at all times underneath everything else in my life that's going on.

I got in my car and wanted to break into tears. In fact, I'm so completely wiped out right now, I will literally be going to bed as soon as I finish this blog. It is 7:33pm.

But, here's the thing...normally, I check my blog comments here on SparkPeople on a pretty regular basis as they are coming in. Today, I couldn't do that...obviously. Can you imagine the shock when I saw that my blog from yesterday already had 237 comments? Or that the comments on my Tears & Texting on the Trail blog have risen to 417?! First, I felt overwhelmed. I thought, "I just can't possibly put the energy into reading all of these tonight." But then I realized...I'll just get FURTHER behind if I don't do it now!

Do you know what happened when I started reading the 20 or so pages of comments that I'd missed? Comments from YOU wonderful and beautiful people? Some of you comment every single day. I know your face! I do! Or I know your avatar...like it's a familiar friend. I know more of you than you might realize. People constantly tell me that they are shocked I recognize them when I add them as friends or comment on their wall or whatever. You guys...I'm not a celeb. I'm just a chick who runs. LOL. Of course I know you! I know you all!

And this is all I have to say about that. I hear all the time...ALL the time..."you don't know what your blog meant to me today. If you only knew how many people you touch...etc etc etc."

Well, it's time to turn that back around on you.

If you only knew what your comments do for me (not just collectively but individually).

If you only knew that I read every single one.

If you only knew that your Spark Goodies and the notes that go with them make me cry tears of joy.

If you only knew how much energy reading your words gave me tonight, when I felt like less than nothing.

If you only knew how beautiful and powerful you are...and that you can do all that I blog about and more...you CAN.

If you only knew how unworthy of your attention I sometimes feel...and how badly I wish I could respond to every single comment and message.

If you only knew how many times I read what you write and think to myself, "I wish we could meet in real life and hang out."

God, if you only knew...

Some of you read my blog every single day. Some of you see me as some sort of lifeline.

But...if you all only knew...that you are my lifeline. You are what keeps me going. I would have given up. I would have gone back to my lazy life. I would have given in to depression. But....YOU kept me alive. Quite literally.

YOU saved ME. And you just keep doing it every single day. And I love you for it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUTERSPACE 2/13/2013 4:41PM

    Awwww, how wonderful that so many people can do such a wonderful thing for you. Really touching!!

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KHALIA2 9/26/2012 9:06PM

  You spoke from your heart. A very inspiring and heartfelt blog.

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ASDOBBER 7/26/2012 9:05AM

    The best advice I ever got in my professional career was pretend as if you belong exactly where you are. When it comes down to it, everyone started where you are now. The more you take part in these sorts of activities the more your confidence will build. Find a power outfit or power shoes. The first time I met with an executive team I wore my power shoes. I was nervous as all get out but every time I looked at my shoes I got a surge of confidence. You will find your groove. And before you know it you will laugh at yourself thinking you didn't belong.

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HEIDIE6 7/25/2012 11:46AM

  So inspiring! Thank you so much! I hope you have a wonderful day! gail emoticon

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TEACHEROF4TH 7/25/2012 1:36AM

    Thank you for sharing from your heart. Transparency in writing is a rarity, and your heart shined through your words. Thank you.

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DRAMAJLN 7/25/2012 12:22AM

    You should also know there are many people out there (like me) who read blogs often, but don't always comment. Is there a tracker that shows you how many "hits" your blog has? That would be quite eye-opening.

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IYA_EKUNDAYO 7/24/2012 8:48PM

    Again.... you touched me. Please remember life is a 2 way street, when you extend your hand out to help someone up, the other hand must also extend to be helped up, which in turn, eventually, the one who reached up to grab the extended hand, in turn, extends their hand to help another up...
We all help each other "up".
Only you can let others make you feel any "certain" way, don't give others that much power.

Stay positive - Stay Strong and focus on obtaining your goals!
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Regina.

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ELLENBERRY 7/24/2012 2:20PM

    You are truly amazing! emoticon

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SMIDGE1971 7/24/2012 2:09PM

  Great blog! I think most of us have had days like this where you think you're doing and saying the right things and then when you reflect on the day you feel like you said or did the wrong things. Don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you did what you were supposed to do and the goals of the foundation were reached by the end of the meeting. Remember, we are all our worse critics and we always see the negatives that other people really don't see in us. Stay positive and remember that you can only do your best and that is always good enough.

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DEBK0923 7/24/2012 1:34PM

    great job, good work, and a wonderful blog

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EFFRAYECHILDE 7/24/2012 11:21AM

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PMFISH 7/23/2012 11:09PM

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CHERYLSBUTT 7/23/2012 10:29PM

    Work on giving yourself what you give to others!
Good night!

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BANDMOM2012 7/23/2012 6:32PM

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TWREDHOT 7/23/2012 1:14PM

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MOMOSG 7/23/2012 10:34AM

    You are amazing and I am awestruck that you can put your emotions out there like that. You are motivating in so many ways. Keep going, keep trying and stop thinking you aren't worthy or out of your league. You are special and amazing just the way you are. Anyone who can't see that it blind!

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YWAIT0609 7/23/2012 2:34AM

    great post again. i understand what u feel about the job. i start a new one today (monday). u are good enough bc my DADDY, your DADDY said so. dont forget it.

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TRACYZABELLE 7/23/2012 12:10AM

    I like to inspire people as I get inspired by them-- one hand washes the other! emoticon

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ROJAKHAN 7/22/2012 1:55PM

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PATTISTAMPS 7/22/2012 12:41PM

    This is the first time I have read one of your blogs, but I feel like we are already friends! I have been a road warrier, and know the lure of company paid food and drink! And I know the feelings that I am really not as professional as others, and that I am really a fraud...

I have left that corporate world (5 years now!) and work in a whole different environment, but I still battle weight, feelings of self worth, and getting that exercise done. I am envious of your running - I have tried, but my hips and knees decided it wasn't going to work for me... But I plan to try again, now that I am stronger... I want to run a 5K before I turn 60!

thanks for sharing yourself!

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PROVERBS31JULIA 7/22/2012 1:21AM

    Hi Leah -
Ha! So you inspire me more than I inspire you. Neeneer! neener! emoticon

I'd write more bit a) im supposed to be asleep and b) it takes forever to type on iphone... Especially when tears of joy, laughter, shame, and/or allergies make my eyes blurrier than they already are!

Hugs,
Julia

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LITTLEROX20 7/21/2012 10:27PM

    Thanks for acknowledging our acknowledgments! emoticon

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ISABELLE31 7/21/2012 4:34PM

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's awesome how there's a boomerang effect for warm fuzzies. I hope today is better for you and that you do realize how fabulous you are in the midst of everything. :)

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GBAUM0432 7/21/2012 4:23PM

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TERID816 7/21/2012 2:15PM

    Leah, I read your blog every day since I found you on SparkPeople. Your honesty and willingness to share so much of yourself is what draws me (and I'm sure others) to your blogs. Some of us don't have your gift for putting those feelings into words, even though we too have those same feelings. Sorry for your day, but glad we SparkFriends can give back a little of what you share! emoticon

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JERICHO1991 7/21/2012 1:29PM

    I hope you are feeling as good as I do after reading your blog. Thank you.

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LILSPARKIE85 7/21/2012 12:50PM

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KELLIGIRL523 7/21/2012 11:21AM

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WILDFLOWER521 7/21/2012 10:59AM

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FLYINGB16 7/21/2012 10:43AM

    I have been where you are as far as feeling "not good enough" in a professional environment. I decided to fake it till I make it and almost two years later there is not one person in my office that intimidates me. They all breath air just like me. It's very liberating. I also no longer allow people to dump on me. This took years of work but I did it. If i screw up or don't meet someone's expectations I ask why, and how DID they want it done so I can do better the next time. I don't take it personally. it's a learning opportunity and I go with it.

Now for the food...

The folks at my office eat all the time. My team especially (we are chained to our desks 9-10 hours a day) has the most impressive take out menu collection I have ever seen. I don't join them. I pack every day. I refuse to give in to peer pressure when it comes to food. When they go out I don't eat crap just because they do. Yesterday morning a team member was like....Hardee's will make you feel sooooooo much better....I was like...I don't think so. Thirty minutes later they are all complaining about heartburn and I am laughing. They all ordered out for lunch and then thirty minutes after eating they all said...god I am so stuffed I feel sick...
I am sorry they feel bad but I laugh on the inside because they do this to themselves everyday but "I am the weird one that packs lunch and snacks everyday". Yep...I embrace my weirdness...they can have the heartburn, indigestion and tight clothing.
Food pushers are always a challenge and work stress can make us want to eat. I just try to stay focused on my goals and keep a fully stocked snack drawer and lunchbox everyday.

You can do it!

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FITFOODIE806 7/21/2012 9:05AM

    Isn't spark remarkable? The more you putinto it, the more you get. I have done so much more than I ever thought I could(think, marathon!) because of spark. Reading other people's blogs, getting crazy ideas in my head, and then getting the encouragement and motivation to actually do it. All from spark!
I'm so glad you appreciate it the way you do. I appreciate YOU! And you do deserve all 400+ comments.

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ROUNDTOWNMOM 7/21/2012 8:56AM

    Sounds like "a day".............but you ended it on such a positive note. You read about what you mean to people.................. what your words do for people, and in return, you gave back to everyone by writing this blog. THAT's what this journey is all about...............

Happy Saturday!

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COLETTEISGREAT 7/21/2012 7:21AM

    Your words are always so eloquent and honest. Thank you for being my lifeline, and glad to contribute to your lifeline.

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ANNE007 7/21/2012 4:21AM

    Great blog! It originally caught my eye because you mentioned Bloomington. Hello from Indy! I hope you're feeling much better by today. I'm sure you did a great job hosting your coworkers but I agree...Spark People are wonderful people!

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JRM54100 7/21/2012 2:23AM

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BLUEJEAN99 7/21/2012 1:39AM

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GRAMMAP1 7/20/2012 11:39PM

    I really don't blog often, but I read bunches. I am older and my sucesses are few and I really want to share success, not failure. I am sure that you will be able to share some inspiration again very soon. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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4RASCALS 7/20/2012 10:41PM

    I'm sure you did a excellent job. We are our own worst critic. Your such a inspiration to us, don't see you failing at anything.
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MONTREAL12 7/20/2012 10:00PM

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BAKERBARBARA 7/20/2012 9:37PM

    Energizer Bunny is right...I don't always comment because my mind goes blank when I get to the comment section. Greeting cards really stress me out!!

Your blogs are always well-written and interesting! Keep it up!!

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MOM-MOM8 7/20/2012 9:28PM

    emoticon You had a very busy day with way to many things to juggle! Our famous insecurities show up just when we do not need them. I am sure you did a great job of hostess. Do we say things that in hind sight we think about and are sure should have been said better? Of coarse! We just need to learn from it and move forward. I had a co-worker years ago who had a favorite saying "Fake it til you make it!" I have found that it works. Put a smile on and do your best, and most times we do just fine until we analyze the day and find areas that only we can find to bring us down. Have a great week end! You deserve it. emoticon

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THISISGREAT2 7/20/2012 9:06PM

  Thank you!! I have been out of commission with SP now for a month letting myself go. I am so emotional right now reading your blog. I also have feelings running deep with emotions from losses that I have been unable to express openly. I have been having a very hard time becoming focused to start thinking on what I need to do to feel better and eating irrational. But I want to thank you for reminding me what I need to start focusing on again. I will try. emoticon

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DIANESAV1 7/20/2012 9:03PM

    I'm sure you must have done just great today. We are our worst critics and the more you do them the more confident you will be. Thank you for sharing.

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BENNYTINNY 7/20/2012 8:57PM

    This is the first time that I've read your blog; it's no secret why you are so special.

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STUFFNEARTABOR 7/20/2012 8:42PM

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KIPPER15 7/20/2012 8:27PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Hang in there, we all have times we feel inadequate. Just imagine them all naked.. LOL

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KALLIE1958AR 7/20/2012 7:49PM

    emoticonWe all have those days .. Hang in there ...

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SANDYLH1 7/20/2012 7:42PM

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GOULDSGRANITE 7/20/2012 7:14PM

    I feel that I can say, your company and everyone that works there, is very lucky to have YOU! You can build your skills because of your fabulous attitude. Most probably, the other professionals around you are not working to improve and build up EVERY area of their life, as you are! Every step, more confidence, one day at a time.
How great you realized how poorly you ate at work. Can you believe now doing that without having any remorse and disgust? I can't! Just to think, I ate without any of those thoughts for over 50 years! Yuck.
I was just thinking yesterday, how important all of my Spark friends are. It is so wonderful to hear you comment about SP friends! Working most only with my 90 year young aunt at home everyday, it is very enriching to know that I can help you! You all certainly help me everyday! Share the SPark!
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POSITIVELY_EB 7/20/2012 7:07PM

    I am one of the ones that reads your blogs every day - but I don't comment because I figure I have nothing extra to add to what's already been said. But I'm sure there are lots of others like me!

You are a sweetheart for sharing with us the good AND the bad!

HUGS!
Beverly

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