Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Truthfully, I sat down to write a most eloquent diatribe on how I am once again suffering through the 2nd Day Sugar Withdrawal Headache, because of my huge binge on cookies on Sunday. I was going to say something really well-worded and inspirational about how staying healthy is worth it and how giving in and bingeing just means I have to go through this feeling of YUCK all over again. And then I was going to say something about the entire reason for my health journey being so I don't have to feel terrible like this...etc etc.
But, instead, the moment I sat down, chaos ensued in our house. My mother-in-law, who has been gone for two weeks got home. The girls (6 and 9) came home from swimming at the YMCA with their friend, who had so sweetly gifted them with a bunch of cute toys and candy. My 4 yr old boy spied the Ring Pop in my 9 yr old's bag and demanded it. She said "no" of course...and he, being totally exhausted and ready for bed, threw the mother of all tantrums and screamed his lungs out. At this very moment, my 6 yr old came to me and asked me to "fix" her hair. You see, she tried to put her gum behind her ear like Violet Beauregard from Willy Wonka. Are you picturing this scene???
It is at precisely this point my husband decided to DO DISHES. WTH???? The whole entire world was falling apart and everyone was screaming and it was just...uggghhh.
Anyway, yay....inspiring words...healthy journey...yippee...whatever. I just want 3 points for this blog. Let's be honest.
Monday, April 09, 2012
I'd imagine there will be SO many of these blogs on SparkPeople today. I had one HORRIBLE day yesterday, food-wise. OK, the entire weekend wasn't great.
Actually, Saturday was excellent until I bought those sugar cookie decorating kits for the kids to do on Sunday and my hubby and kids went out and left me all alone in the house. I thought, "Just one...nobody will notice." Well, one turned into 3. Three cookies. And I had also snuck two bite-sized pieces of chocolate at an Easter egg hunt earlier that day. Still...it wasn't HORRIBLE. Just a small blip in my overall magnificent success over the previous week.
Then, Easter. I told myself I'd follow South Beach and wouldn't cave in. But, then those cookies came out again...and I had one. Then, I thought I'd nibble a couple jelly beans and maybe just have a bun with a hot dog...it's just one bun! Managed to have my burger with no bun and did eat a TON of veggies, so those were about my only redeeming choices yesterday. Honestly...I lost track of how many cookies I had yesterday. THAT is bad.
Scale read 5 lbs heavier this morning. I'm sure that's not all "real" weight gain...I had a LOT of grilled food this weekend so I'm sure a lot of it is water gain and salt. But, it's very discouraging because I did SO WELL last week. It's like I sabotaged myself.
There is a bright side...I feel that I've learned a very important lesson. I can't be trusted to "just have a little" without completely falling off the wagon. At the same time, I understand that never having "just a little" will be almost impossible if this is truly a lifestyle change. So, I need to figure out a way to be able to have my bites of cake here and there and eat them too...maybe have my husband help me and only have my "cheats" when he is around to see and help monitor. It's the secret eating that gets way out of hand...and makes me feel the worst later on.
That being said, it's a new day. And today I choose correctly. Even if I did gain 5 lbs for real, which I'm sure I didn't, I wouldn't want to give up now. Why go completely backward? That would be ridiculous. Besides, I can't forget how wonderful it felt to be healthy. I'm not giving up. I'm on this road for as long as it takes.
Saturday, April 07, 2012
Well, friends...the Jewish Seder was just beautiful. Absolutely loved the story, the tradition, the food and the friends. Just one problem...
As a general rule, when a person has been eating around 1000 - 1200 calories of only veggies and lean protein, it's probably not a good idea to just dive right into a large meal consisting of 4 mandatory glasses of wine.
I was feeling just fine and completely enjoying myself (albeit, I felt a *little* warm, but that's just because I don't handle wine very well. Haha...hint). About the time that the gifelte fish came out, I was pretty buzzed.
Suddenly...and I do mean suddenly...I felt dizzy.
I was stuck in this little table with nowhere to go and my husband was blocking the way out of the table. We were with 5 people we've never met and we were in the middle of a set of blessings. But, I HAD to get away from that table.
I told my hubby, "Get up. Get up NOW." He hesitated and I swear I almost threw him to the ground! Literally tried to run to the restroom and, well, I lost it all. Body could not handle the sugar and alcohol.
I really should have had sparkling grape juice...like a little kid. But I usually can handle a few glasses of wine and these were pretty small. But I forgot about how I basically had an empty stomach and how my body was not ready for that. I felt SO guilty for, well, puking in the middle of my friend's holy dinner.
Luckily, I was able to recover fairly quickly and enjoy the rest of the meal...on the couch...which was right near a window with a cool breeze. It was SO embarrassing.
Hmmm....bright side? I only gained 0.1 lbs.
Friday, April 06, 2012
So, I'm right in the middle of the 2-week Phase 1 portion of the South Beach Diet and tonight I promised my dear friend I would attend her Passover Seder. I am actually not Jewish, but I think it will be extremely interesting and enlightening to be a part of such a cool, cultural tradition. And I know she's very excited to be hosting, so it should be really great.
I am a little worried because she sent me a list of all the foods she is making and, well, I am not lying to you when I say that almost every single food is on the "DO NOT EAT" list for this phase of the South Beach Diet. Including 4 glasses of red wine, which are MANDATORY. Yikes! I calculate that alone to at least 510 calories.
But, truthfully, I'm not worried about calories, as I've been very far under calories this past week b/c of the South Beach Diet. And this actually brings me into my acceptable/normal calorie range. And I did a LOT of exercise yesterday so my body is feeling good. I guess I'm more worried about the fact that the author of South Beach Diet stresses again and again that the first phase is specifically to change your blood chemistry and clean out all the bad carbs and sugar. I am just worried I will undo all the hard work I've put in this week with one meal. Not that I'd gain 12 lbs back or anything...but that it would somehow screw up my blood chemistry.
When I talked to my husband, he said that was ridiculous. And I decided he's right. It is ridiculous. This is a holy weekend and a sacred holiday. It literally would be EXTREMELY rude of me to accept this invitation and then refuse to eat things from this ceremony. Also, I am learning a lifestyle here...not some crash diet. Things like religious holidays will happen quite regularly in life and we need to learn how to best plan for these things and recover afterwards!
The "worst" that could happen, weight-wise, is that I could gain a few pounds back and maybe I'll have to stay on this strict phase of the diet an extra week. That's not the end of the world...and it certainly is worth it if it means I get to celebrate with my family and friends in a way that is honoring to them. It's not a license to go nuts and binge...but it's permission to not be so self-absorbed and anxious about every single bite I put in my mouth.
Thursday, April 05, 2012
Oh my goodness. I feel better and better every day! It is ridiculous how HUGE of an impact a healthy diet can have on how your body feels and how you feel about yourself!
I don't SEE any huge change in my body when I look in the mirror but...I don't know...EVERYTHING feels good!
Lost 0.8 more lbs yesterday. Total gone: 11.3 lbs. Only 88.7 lb to go!
Only about 14 more lbs to a 10% overall loss. That will be a big deal for me. For the first time ever, this doesn't feel impossible. I think I've crossed some invisible mental barrier and I just feel like a different person!
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