LDRICHEL   49,811
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Not familiar with this craving...to go running.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I have never been athletic. I once tried to join the track team in high school, but promptly gave up when I was introduced to the concept of "conditioning". There was a short period of one semester my senior year of high school where my friend got me to run a mile with her every other day after school and it was torturous. This was back when I was 120 lbs and in perfect shape and never worried about what I ate. In fact, I was too skinny. I don't even know WHY I ran with her...I guess just because she asked me to. Haha.

Since then, 15 years have passed and college happened (adding a healthy 25 lbs to my girlish physique). But after college, I got married and had 3 kids and gained 106 more pounds. Now, I'm well over 200 and just praying I can find it in me to get this weight off so I don't die before my kids have kids.

I have had some successful forays at working out. A couple years ago, I was working out 6 days a week for an hour every morning and I had lost 15 lbs over 2-3 months. That was 2 years ago and that was when I had my accident (practicing to try out for roller derby) and I broke both bones in my wrist, shattered my elbow and snapped my ankle. The extent of my injuries made it difficult to even operate a wheelchair. I was completely out of commission for 3 months and bones weren't totally healed for about a year.

It's been a full year since my docs declared my bones "fully healed", but I have not engaged in a real workout program, because I was afraid. Pure and simple. I'm afraid of so many things, not the least of which is re-breaks...in particular, my ankle. I twist my ankle a lot now if I'm not on perfectly flat, level ground. The thought of jogging was terrifying to me. Until I challenged myself to do it one day and found that I actually could! After that, I just wanted to keep doing more!

I bought brand new running shoes (and I thought I had researched the right type, etc) and I ran the first day of Couch 2 5K on Saturday. I was ridiculously proud of myself! But yesterday was terrible...the shoes hurt my feet SO badly, I could barely eek out the 2 mile walk and I literally had to remove them and walk home two blocks in my socks. There was THAT much pain in my feet.

So, a lot of runner friends have told me that I probably have the wrong shoes. Dammit, I paid $75 for these! Grrr. But, I ordered them online. Not smart. Apparently, there's a runners' store in town that will do all the measurements on my feet and even watch me run and figure out the perfect shoe for me.

The real shocker here is this...WHY do I want to spend so much time to do this? WHY do I want to go to this store and have some stranger watch me shake my fatness and have him fit me with what is sure to be a SUPER expensive shoe that I probably can't afford and then WHY do I WANT to do this Couch 2 5K so badly and eventually sign up for a 5K and, later on, who knows what? I HATE running. Right????

It is shocking even to me. I don't know where this desire came from. I can only think of 2 possible explanations:

1. I have so many runner friends now, not to mention a LOT of SparkFriends that have lost a ton of weight and this is how they have done it - 5Ks, Marathons, etc. I suppose I'm just ridiculously inspired by all of them.

2. I know what it's like to not be able to use my legs at all. And I know what a tremendous gift it is to be able to simply walk. Or run. Perhaps it's just a matter of actually using the gifts I've been given.

Whatever it is, it's kind of a pleasant surprise. I hope it lasts and, more importantly, I'd give anything to feel truly HEALTHY again.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRESKA 3/14/2012 5:30PM

    sounds like a hard day in those shoes the other day! :( they seemed like awesome shoes to me to. and i already have that brand and love it. but i found a store in town i can buy them from. my feet are so picky! i have to try on shoes first!
maybe you could also buy a nice insert. just a 10 or 20 dollar one will work. i have found those make a TON of difference. and also break in your shoes by just wearing them around a few days.
with a good insert (no need to pay big $$ for a good insert) and breaking them in you might be able to still use them for the running stuff. :)

thanks for sharing! its cute that your liking running now! i hope that you continue to do what makes you happy and gives you results :)


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DOTTIEJANE1 3/14/2012 8:25AM

    I agree with you running seems to be the way most Spark's people are loosing weight . Hope you find the shoes you need at a good price. Have a blessed week .

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BITTYGIRL51 3/13/2012 7:12PM

    Boy oh boy, do I relate to what you are saying. A few years ago I was asking myself the same questions. My answer was that "I love a challenge". Now, after 3 5k's, I'm just a walker.

Regarding shoes: I went to Racquet and Jog - they are the ones that came highly recommended on here. I have been very satisfied.

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BECKYLIVES 3/13/2012 3:33PM

    Oooh I love this blog! I know exactly how you're feeling! I hope that you get the right running shoes and get things figured out!

I'm getting ready to jump into the same team on SP so I can start doing what I need to do in order to accomplish the 5k!



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ADJQUILTER 3/13/2012 2:42PM

    I pray that you overcome this hurdle and can get back to your running. Such freedom!
And, it's the perfect time of year!
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ON2VICTORY 3/13/2012 1:32PM

    we all have the hurdles we have to jump through but you have so much heart that you will overcome them all. Just curious, did you break your shoes in first? That is kinda tough on the feet so its understandable that you had some issues. Im on my phone and its hard to comment on it. Sp mail me if u need any help or questions..

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RICHELLEMASON 3/13/2012 1:05PM

    Congrats on Running...I loved to run, but I moved and lost my running buddies, so I'm slowly getting back into it.....=) Can't wait to be like you a Runner again... =)

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There's Something A Bit Magical About This Place

Sunday, March 04, 2012

I just got home from my Made To Crave Bible Study. It was good, but it seemed a bit more challenging to me today. Maybe God is getting at some deeper issues and I am resisting a bit. Maybe it's because my pastor preached a very emotionally intense sermon on suffering this morning, which left me somewhat depleted emotionally (while at the same time, cleansing me and imparting hope and a seed of joy as well). And maybe it's the fact that the chest cold has taken root and I am physically weaker than I normally am. No matter...I came home dragging a bit and feeling somewhat ready to collapse.

I checked my e-mail, to find that I had a comment on my previous blog (Sick...Again) and found, to my surprise, that I had FOUR. Every comment was SO uplifting and so encouraging...I have never had this experience on SparkPeople, but I literally got a little misty eyed because I was so touched that you friends, who I have never met and don't even really know very well, would say such kind things. And I know that you meant them. I know that all of us are in this together and are here because we want to help ourselves and help each other be BETTER than we've been before. Still, it sometimes hits me that there is something a bit "magical" about it.

Thank you SO much. From the bottom of my heart. I love all the Spark Teams I'm a part of and I can't tell you how much it means to me that you stop by my page and read my blogs and send me Spark Goodies. You all are amazing. And I'm thankful to have you in my life.

Have a great week, friends! Spread the Spark!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRESKA 3/8/2012 6:14AM

    aww! so happy you are getting encouragement and keeping in touch on spark people :) i've been away a few months but i wanted to check in! you will get past the hump and achieve your goals, you have inside you everything you need to get to the place you want to be. God is for you so who can be against you? one day at a time and one good choice at a time.. be mindful and and intentional and you will find yourself where you want to be.. :) *i am holding onto these truths too dear sister! because i am waking up again and i need to remind myself that i have what i need to do this! :) emoticon

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MARVEEME 3/6/2012 8:49AM

Love You Too!

Rapid Recovery

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SETAGOAL1 3/4/2012 6:29PM

    We have not given up on ourselves.

We now know we are the only ones that can make it happen for us with God's help .

We have the power to succeed or fail.

We can choose to succeed.

Way to Go My Sparkfriends

Janet emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ADJQUILTER 3/4/2012 5:53PM

    So sorry to hear that you are not feeling better yet. I've got to pray harder! But you made it to church, and received several blessings. My DH was under the weather, but insisted on going to church with me. Putting God first is really important. Sunday just wouldn't feel right without going to church.
The Made to Crave study does get to some core issues. We often get uncomfortable when God shines a spotlight inside of us, and we have to face some tough things. But He is just trying to help you see what is needed to make more room for Him in your heart. It's like your Mom told you when the medicine tasted yucky...it will make you better! Thank God that He loves us so much that He wants to have a closer relationship with us, and shows us the way.
Feel better, lady! That's an order! A lot of your Spark friends are praying for you.
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Comment edited on: 3/4/2012 5:54:17 PM

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Saturday, March 03, 2012

I am sick...again. This is the third time in about two months that I have had this particular chest cold. Every time I get rid of it, I'm so thankful and then it comes back a couple weeks later! Ugh! (And, before you say I should check my house for mold...that's not it. We literally JUST built this house...it's brand new, so it's not that.)

Anyway, this sickness was kind enough to begin again just as my 3 yr old was battling a 4-day fever, my 6 year old suddenly woke up and threw up in my bed and my 9 yr old came home from a slumber party at 6am, saying she felt sick and has been passed out ever since. Lovely.

Now, normally this would completely de-rail me from any and all health goals. Let's be honest...I ate 3 cinnamon rolls this morning. :( And, you know how I was going strong and doing great last year and suddenly stopped and gave up in July? Yep...that started with an illness, a hiatus from workouts and a general resigning of my will to being lazy.

But, I realize that if I am serious about getting healthy and I really do want to see my goals met and not still feel disgusting and unhealthy a year from now, I can't let things like this derail my efforts. So, I'm saying now...the 3 cinnamon rolls this morning was IT. It was only 330 calories...I can live with that and plan the rest of today's healthy meals and still be within my calorie limit. And I WILL get out there and exercise the moment my body is feeling better. In fact, if I am up to it, I might even try to squeeze in a LITTLE bit of exercise today...even if it's just 15 minutes of squats, push-ups and crunches during the commercials while I'm watching TV.

I'm certainly down...but, this time, I am NOT OUT!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BITTYGIRL51 3/4/2012 4:14PM

    I'm so sorry to hear you are sick again. If the damage was only 330 calories for 3 cinnamon rolls - that's awesome! The cinnamon rolls I eat (when I do) are 700+ calories each! Cinnamon rolls are a trigger food for me, so if I could find one that is only 110 calories that would be a big plus!

emoticon You did good, by being honest about your indulgence and by holding yourself accountable for them. There is a silver lining in everything we do if we look for it.

Just get those kiddies and yourself well and get back on the bandwagon! emoticon

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MARVEEME 3/3/2012 10:42PM

    If your house was stick-built (not modular) it still could be mold or some other environmental issue. Exposure to the elements during the building process, or any water infiltration that may be occurring between the walls or the drywall you see and the exterior of the house can still cause right conditions for mold to grow and live happily ever after. (I'd also run a radon test.) Environmental issues can cause a plethora of problems, and now that it appears the whole family has something going on, I would not delay.

30 years of property management have revealed some of the strangest things in my career.


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RELISA4HEALTH 3/3/2012 8:26PM

    I hope by the time you get this email, you are feeling much better.
A lot of people from our congregation have been battling sickness this year. I wonder sometimes if it is not because of the starnge weather. Where I live, it usually snows, but this winter has been very mild.
When I was growing up, I remember my mom always used to wash down the floors , door knobs and sinks with lysol, especially durring the times when sickness had come to the house.
I remember her serving chicken noodle soup, saltine crackers, ginger ale and vanilla ice cream. It was always so soothing back then. The objective of course was to keep liquids in the body to prevent dehidration.
I do hope and pray that the Lord give to you strength to fight off the sickness and that he touch the children with his healing touch.
One thing I know, it is not fun being sick.
I encourage you to push forward and work at your goals, even if you got to make smaller steps until you feel stronger. It is said that exercise has a way of helping one to feel better about one self after completed.
May you see better days ahead.
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ADJQUILTER 3/3/2012 1:03PM

    Kids are like little germ factories. It seems like everybody I know with small children has gotten sick a lot this year. You just can't help it, being so close to them all of the time. But make sure that you get some Mommy time today. Try and get some rest.
You need that too to get feeling better. I am so happy to hear your positive attitude.
Those cinnamon rolls are history. You are in control of the choices you make!

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Learning To Listen To My Body

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Last night, an absolutely amazing thing happened!

I had already planned out all my eating for the day and knew what I was cooking for dinner and everything I'd eat for the rest of the night before I even left work. So, I ran my Daily Nutrition Report and found that I was on target for everything, except I was actually LOW on Fat and Protein. Ha! "Oh well...no matter," I thought.

On the way home, I really started to feel head-achey and ick. I was bummed because at 8pm, my husband and I were going to see "In The Heights" at the Auditorium and I hate to feel sick at the theatre!

This is when it happened. I walked into the pantry to get some oil for dinner and I caught a glimpse of the peanut butter jar. You should know I rarely ever open a jar of peanut butter. It's not that I don't like it. I just don't ever think it sounds super yummy or anything. At any rate, the minute I saw that jar, it was like everything in me screamed, "I want peanut butter SOOOOOOOO BAD!" But, of course, I ignored it...because I was MAKING DINNER and I only had to wait half an hour for real food.

Started cooking the chicken and literally could not ignore the craving! So, I popped a piece of Health Nut bread in the toaster, put some peanut butter on it and munched while I was cooking dinner. I kid you not...my headache instantly went away. And I actually realized, right then and there, that my body really needed protein immediately, to the point of begging for it.

I don't know why this is such a big deal to me...probably because I'm so used to craving terrible things that aren't good for me. But, I understand now that the craving for something good feels completely different. It isn't just an emotional response...it's something deeper and more urgent. I've just been eating SO much food that I haven't had a chance to experience this in the past. WOW.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I struggle with the feeling of all eating is bad too. Even when I eat all the things I know are good for me I still have that nagging feeling I shouldn't be eating at all which is such an old diet mentality. Good for you for listening to what your body needs!

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ADJQUILTER 3/1/2012 2:13PM

    Your body has the wisdom that God put into it when He created you. You just need to listen to it. It does feel extra good when you can slow down and quiet down long enough to hear what it is saying. God can speak to you through your body, not just your mind and heart. He knows every inch of you, and loves all of you!
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Inspiration from "Made To Crave"

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Been doing pretty well in the food area, mostly due to the awesome things I'm learning from Made To Crave. There is a quote from the Participants Guide & DVD that has been very inspirational for me this week:

"Remember who you are. You are a Jesus girl. You are not a failure. You are not incapable. You are not a loser. You are none of those things. You are a Jesus girl capable of victory. You are absolutely capable of being empowered. God loves you - head to toe. Remember who you are."

I just LOVE this! Hope it encourages you today as well!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARVEEME 2/29/2012 8:58PM

    I'm so happy for you in your finding this motivation that works for you. Keep up the good work, and keep us posted on what you're learning. Especially helpful for those of us without much extra time to be able to sit down with a book these days.


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ADJQUILTER 2/29/2012 2:28PM

    That has gotten me through many days and nights. Her book is very powerful stuff. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that we are the beloved children of a great and mighty Father who has the power of the universe at his fingertips. We just need to remember to ask Him for some, and He is more than willing to give it to us.
So happy MTC is encouraging and empowering you.
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