LDRICHEL   50,581
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LDRICHEL's Recent Blog Entries

Been awhile...

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

So, it's been awhile since I last updated my blog. As you read before, I was kind of down in the dumps. But I am pleased to say that things are getting much better. I have still been slacking in the logging of my food and such, but I am working health and activity back into my life a bit slower this time. I don't want to be all gung ho, then give up, like last time.

Also, I've had most of my focus on other areas recently. Namely, my marriage...and working on saving it. And, that is actually going very well. Hubby and I are learning quite a lot about how to love each other and respect each other correctly and, I gotta say...it's actually been more exciting than I would have thought! So, things are looking up.

And...in other areas, I am still working on finding myself and figuring out who I really am and what it is I really want out of this crazy thing we call life. And I continue to learn and self-discover.

Some days are rough and I backslide and get depressed. But, most days are progress forward. And that is a very good thing.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAANDO 7/7/2011 10:30AM

    Dear Leah,

I understand.


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MARVEEME 6/9/2011 4:54PM

    My prayers are with you, sweetie! Only YOU know what's right for YOU. Once you have defined it all, GO FOR IT!


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AWOOD1973 6/9/2011 1:33PM

    Sounds like you are approaching things with a clear head, which in the long run, will be sooo beneficial! Good luck with your journey to not only weight loss and health, but to self discovery!! emoticon

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BAMBIBUNNY 6/8/2011 7:11PM

    i'm glad you life is coming together, and i hope you find your place of happiness. emoticon emoticon

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I Need Something...

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I need something. And I keep saying I don't know what I need, but I do know. Deep down. I need to learn how to love myself and not desperately grasp for that love from other people.

Ever since I went on vacation, my health goals took a serious nosedive. I tried to "get back in the game" for awhile there, but then things went south with my personal/family relationships and, quite frankly, I gave up on myself. I just didn't care.

I'm beginning to emerge from that drama (a LITTLE) and I have had quite a bit of self-discovery time to realize that I have a problem (in looking for love in all the wrong places...when I really need to figure out how to find it in myself). And sabotaging myself by letting myself go is only going to make matters worse. Still, in this place of utter depression and searching, it's hard to find the motivation to work hard and be a better me. It seems so much easier to just give up and lose hope.

I don't mean to be emo or over-dramatic. It's just the place I'm in right now. I want to get back to health...because I KNOW how much better I feel when I'm on top of my game. And I HOPE that I can do it. I just lack the faith in myself right now.

Well, here's to hoping. I guess a blog entry (for the first time in weeks) is a decent start.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAMBIBUNNY 6/5/2011 12:34AM

    i'm glad you made it back emoticon

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LAKELVR24_7 6/4/2011 1:59PM

  You have realized that you have to find love in yourself before you can truly be happy. Keep coming out of the funk and will continue on your journey. We all have set backs but you can do this. Just keep sight of the 3 beautiful kids and your reasons for changing your lifestyle. We have to lean on each other through this. Take care, do something for yourself and claim small victories where you can! emoticon emoticon

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GGNEWCOMB 6/1/2011 1:10AM

  We can be here for each other! Getting back on the bandwagon together! Listen, it is what it is... we can continue to do the same or we can choose to do at least ONE small change each day.. one choice at a time, one day at a time. emoticon emoticon

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MARVEEME 5/31/2011 4:43PM

    Hey! Check this out!

R>Capture that fire, and run with it. Your motivation is deep within you. It may feel like lack of external reinforcement, but most often, it is INTERNAL peace. You get your butt into the bathroom, look that girl in the mirror, and SMILE when you tell her SHE IS BEAUTIFUL! No one can take YOU from YOU without your permission. So do whatever it takes (15 minutes in the attic on a hot day followed by a shower works exactly the same as a sauna, you know) to flip that switch back on and be the woman you want to be. Love arrives when you least expect it, and when you're not even looking, so just try to live a little, willya?
emoticon emoticon

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ILSAWING 5/31/2011 2:11PM

    Don't give up. I too suffer from depression. Do your best to do something for you today, a walk, a bubble bath, or BOTH. Do things that boost YOU. Listen to your fave music while in the bubble bath. The little stuff adds up.
Something I like to do is listen to the Bible on disc while chillin. Or Frank Sinatra while in the tub. Oh, and I love pedicures. Do your thing and tell yourself you're worth it.


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Text From Dad

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My Dad went back to San Diego a couple days ago. At 3am, I received this unusually emotional text from him:

I love you so much. You're my "baby Leah". I was there when you were born. I cut your umbilical cord. I'll never judge you or disparage you. You can always tell me what you're feeling. Please call or text me anytime. I don't ever want you to feel isolated. You're not.

Wow. That is just EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. *tears*

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AWOOD1973 5/12/2011 5:04AM

    I wish my dad was around to say those words... I miss him everyday! Cherish every moment that he is on this earth, to give you encouragement and love. I'm glad you have him to lean on when you aren't feeling so great! Things will get better for you. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off! You matter! Have a great week! emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/12/2011 5:06:13 AM

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MARVEEME 5/11/2011 8:40AM

    Fantastic! I'm so happy for you. Nothin' like knowing Dad loves, understands, and cares about you so deeply. You're very lucky to have a Dad like that, so treasure him.

I completely understand how your Dad feels about you, and how hopeless he can sometimes feel when he can't protect you from the daggers of the battle of everyday life. It's a "parent" thing, ya know? Keep holding on to this feeling, and make sure you can reach for it the next time he says/does something that ticks you off, willya? Life is short.

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CAM2438 5/11/2011 7:43AM

    That was wonderful!!

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JEDIGYRL 5/11/2011 7:30AM

    Wow, that is so sweet. Also he's thinking about you in the middle of the night. You're very lucky.

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Monday, May 09, 2011

Man, I am just not myself. I am feeling so down lately. I have struggled with depression before and I am on medication for it. The medication usually works, but it just hasn't been cutting it lately. I'm just so overwhelmed with marital and work stress...I just feel sad.

I am thinking about doing two things to remedy this. I thought about calling the Employee Assistance Program through my job to see if I can get some free counseling sessions. And I also was thinking of forcing myself to actually use the SparkPeople meal plans. What a handy dandy feature that is...you can even substitute for things you don't care for and print out a grocery list!!! How cool!!! I really thought I could stay on track on my own but I just haven't been able to do it!

So I think I'll try that. At least then, I will know that I will not be going over on my calories. I think I'll go ahead and try to start that next week. It will take me quite some time to plan the first week of meals out and get all the groceries, etc.

Wish me luck!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FATBUSTINMOM 5/10/2011 2:03PM

    Sorry you're feeling down emoticon
I use the meal plan and love it! When I make my own substitutions that aren't on the list, I just try to make sure it's close in calories. The grocery list feature is great! I had a little trouble figuring out the dinners, since they are for 1 serving only and I like to make enough for my husband and daughter, but I wasn't exactly good in math, lol!

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LOIDAEG 5/10/2011 2:52AM

    Good luck But I think you can do it!!! :) I'll be using the meal plan this summer in the States. So much easier when you got access to the foods it says on the list :) You'll do great!!


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MARVEEME 5/9/2011 10:35PM

LUCK! Looks like you've got a handle on solving the issues before you, so it's more than just luck, it's implementation and success! BLESSINGS!

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Friday, May 06, 2011

Yesterday, I got a verbal warning from my boss at work about my so-called "poor performance". Never mind that I just had ONE off day and the rest of the time I've been here I've been a complete superstar. He said if it wouldn't have been ME...the consequences would have been more severe than a verbal warning. Ugh.

And it just so happened that my company had a free Mexican buffet for lunch in honor of Cinco de Mayo. Literally about 15 minutes after this delightful encounter with my boss. Ummm....emotional eating much??? Yeah, it was not pretty.

Then, we had to pick my Dad up from the airport because he flew in from California to visit us. He's staying until Monday. Of course, he was starving after flying all day and what did he HAVE to have? White Castle. I challenge you to find ANYTHING healthy from that place. And, anyway, whatever. I didn't care. I was still so angry.

I went at least 1,000 calories over yesterday. I had some WACKY dreams and my stomach is not happy this morning. I feel sad and down and gross and I know that it's all wrapped up into one bad health package.

One day can make a difference. It really can.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMJSATURN 5/8/2011 9:48PM

    Take one day at a time. Put it behind you!!
Don't sweat the small stuff.
I bet things are looking better already. emoticon

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MARVEEME 5/6/2011 11:13PM

    Show him what you GOT, baby! Kick start your game plan to live longer by showing HIM HOW! Teach him to cook GREAT HEALTHY meals.................YOU CAN TEACH DAD NEW TRICKS...............HE ALREADY LOVES YOU, AND WANTS YOU TO WAIT ON HIM, BUT GIVE HIM A GIFT HE CAN TAKE HOME.................KNOWLEDGE. You'll be glad you did this FOR and TO him............I was, and Daddy lived until he was 85!

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BETRME100 5/6/2011 10:46PM

    Sorry you had to deal with that. I know I would have run right to the food had I been in your situation. I hope today was a better day for you...have a nice visit with your father!

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SPARKYEG 5/6/2011 2:59PM

    Yep, the food hangover. It is so not fun. Chug that water to help get rid of the bloat. Enjoy the weekend with your dad! Today you can make better choices. I hope work is better for you soon. It's not worth beating yourself up over it. Take care of yourself!

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JOJOSZENT 5/6/2011 10:19AM

    Breathe, things will be better today.

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OILMANDREW 5/6/2011 9:47AM

    You'll rock it today though...hang in there!

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