Thursday, July 14, 2011
OK, so yesterday I went hiking with the family and we hiked for at LEAST 2.5 hours and it was some rugged terrain at times. All of us were thoroughly exhausted by the end of the day. My 3 yr old is such a champ for hanging in there all day! Poor little guy! It must have felt like 5 hours for his tiny, little legs! At any rate, I figure we burned about 1,800 calories according to my SparkPeople calculator.
Well, today is another story. I've kind of been relying on the caffeine to get me through and we are going to the 12:05am showing of Harry Potter tonight, so I would BET that I'll need more caffeine later. I am currently 400 calories away from hitting my calorie threshhold and I have yet to eat dinner. I suppose I could eat something very light and, therefore, give myself a LITTLE wiggle room for the movie tonight. Also, I MIGHT be able to get out for a walk on the trail after work. We'll see. The weather is pretty awesome today. No humidity, not too hot.
I don't know if it would be enough to completely combat movie popcorn and soda, which I'm sorry...I AM going to have tonight (it's the last Harry Potter movie at midnight, for crying out loud!) but it will at least help.
So...can my extra activity from yesterday "carry over" to today??? Things like that confuse me. In my head, it's black and white...you start over every day...each individual day you have to have less calories consumed than burned and that's that. But is there any leeway whatsoever between days? Anyone know?
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
So, thanks to an old high school friend who unexpectedly reached out to me on FB, I have returned to SparkPeople. I've been lazy and haven't taken care of myself and that is just enough of that. So...moving on.
It is morning. I feel sick from the coffee I drank (it bothers my tummy). So, I had a pear and a granola bar. Hope that and a lot of water will settle things down a bit. It doesn't help that I'm nervous as heck because I have a job interview at 2pm today. Listen, it's not my "dream career" or even in the right field...but I figure, I can be a writer ANYWHERE....I simply have to WRITE. If there is talent and hard work, someone is bound to recognize that someday...regardless of my "day job". I've just come to the point where I feel it's not worth slaving for 45 hours a week to bring home $12,000/yr for a family of 5 and miss precious time with my family to work for a company that could decide to stab me in the back and one day ship my job to the Philipinnes with no notice whatsoever. It's just wrong. I need money (SO much more money!) And I need security. And, well, back to the University I go (*fingers crossed*).
Looking forward to this new journey. Seriously glad to be back.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
So, it's been awhile since I last updated my blog. As you read before, I was kind of down in the dumps. But I am pleased to say that things are getting much better. I have still been slacking in the logging of my food and such, but I am working health and activity back into my life a bit slower this time. I don't want to be all gung ho, then give up, like last time.
Also, I've had most of my focus on other areas recently. Namely, my marriage...and working on saving it. And, that is actually going very well. Hubby and I are learning quite a lot about how to love each other and respect each other correctly and, I gotta say...it's actually been more exciting than I would have thought! So, things are looking up.
And...in other areas, I am still working on finding myself and figuring out who I really am and what it is I really want out of this crazy thing we call life. And I continue to learn and self-discover.
Some days are rough and I backslide and get depressed. But, most days are progress forward. And that is a very good thing.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
I need something. And I keep saying I don't know what I need, but I do know. Deep down. I need to learn how to love myself and not desperately grasp for that love from other people.
Ever since I went on vacation, my health goals took a serious nosedive. I tried to "get back in the game" for awhile there, but then things went south with my personal/family relationships and, quite frankly, I gave up on myself. I just didn't care.
I'm beginning to emerge from that drama (a LITTLE) and I have had quite a bit of self-discovery time to realize that I have a problem (in looking for love in all the wrong places...when I really need to figure out how to find it in myself). And sabotaging myself by letting myself go is only going to make matters worse. Still, in this place of utter depression and searching, it's hard to find the motivation to work hard and be a better me. It seems so much easier to just give up and lose hope.
I don't mean to be emo or over-dramatic. It's just the place I'm in right now. I want to get back to health...because I KNOW how much better I feel when I'm on top of my game. And I HOPE that I can do it. I just lack the faith in myself right now.
Well, here's to hoping. I guess a blog entry (for the first time in weeks) is a decent start.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
My Dad went back to San Diego a couple days ago. At 3am, I received this unusually emotional text from him:
I love you so much. You're my "baby Leah". I was there when you were born. I cut your umbilical cord. I'll never judge you or disparage you. You can always tell me what you're feeling. Please call or text me anytime. I don't ever want you to feel isolated. You're not.
Wow. That is just EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. *tears*
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