Monday, February 28, 2011
Wow. Last night was some night. In addition to the clamor and wrath of Mother Nature (tornado sirens at 2am and high winds whipping the front of our house like it was an annoying obstacle in a fight to survive), my brain was filled with ridiculous, high-school level drama from supposed friends of mine, not only in the derby world, but also in our so-called church family.
All of this added up to very little sleep for me. I slept from midnight to 2am. Then, from 4am-7am. Thus, a very cranky Leah sits here venting now. Do you know that, on days like this, when I'm mentally and physically fatigued, I just don't give a crap about being healthy or being a better me? I do what I can to survive, which usually includes a ton of caffeine, no water whatsoever and plenty of horrible snacks (basically just eating non-stop, in order to stay awake and do my job).
Lucky for me, we are starting the Biggest Loser at work today. And I will be 100% honest and say the only reason I didn't call in to work today is so I could go to the kick off meeting. I've also realized that some of the closest and most trusted friends that I have at the moment are actually at work. Is that ass backwards or what?! Lol. But, seriously, without Jade, Mara, Courtney, Rose (and even Melissa, who I just met for the Biggest Loser Challenge), I would more than likely be lying in a heap in my bed today, just crying and watching chick flicks. And I'm not just saying that because I send them this blog every day.
Thanks for motivating me, ladies. We really need each other and I'm so glad to have you. Here's to attempting to make it through this day.
Friday, February 25, 2011
So, I'm supposed to be excited that it's Friday. But...not so much. Turns out, my workout was just so-so last night. I just get so exhausted so fast! I really need to build my stamina. I feel like I'm not too bad when it comes to strength, but as far as doing anything cardio related for longer than a few minutes, forget about it. I was minorly disappointed in myself after my pathetic excuse for a workout last night. However, I keep reminding myself that it's better than NO workout, which is what I would have done before. And I'm hoping that the fact that my entire body hurts every time I move today means that I got a decent bit of exercise.
It also doesn't help that my 2 year old was kind of a nightmare last night, preventing me from ever falling into that deep, restful REM-cycle sleep. Thus, I woke up over exhausted and super pissy this morning. And this work day just seems SO incredibly long!
But the weekend will be fun! Looking forward to driving down to Louisville tomorrow afternoon (after my workout, of course!) to see Bleeding Heartland in their first official season bout against the Derby City Roller Girls. We should be able to beat them, since they are #19 (out of 19) in the region. Lol. And it will be my 8 yr old's first time ever to attend a Bloomington league bout. So, that will be super fun.
For now, I leave you with this...enjoy.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
So, here I am again...starting over. Last year, I was training to try out for roller derby. It was a rough start, but eventually, I was able to get up to 6 hour-long workouts per week. In a span of 3 months, I had lost 15 lbs, which was really a miracle since I've never lost weight before. Then, I went skating and during a routine stopping drill, my derby dreams ended. Both wrist bones broken, shattered elbow and a snapped ankle. Two months in a wheelchair, tons of physical therapy and a year until I could walk normally again.
And I have gained all of the weight back and then some. Now I'm starting again. The thought that I have done this before is comforting...it assures me that I have the ability to do it. But remembering the hard work that it took to get to that point last time intimidates me.
Still, I know deep down inside that I let myself go after my accident. I could have kept eating healthy. There were certain things I could have done during my recovery (core workouts, stretching, etc.) but I didn't. I let myself go. I gave up on myself. I let myself get overwhelmed by depression and I just gave up.
Pulling out of that has been hard. But my derby sisters have been so inspiring. I finally made the decision recently not to let my injuries be an excuse for not being the person I want to be. If I'm unhappy, it is my job to change my situation. No one can do it for me.
Truth be told, I'm afraid I'll fail. But, thankfully, I have some amazing women in my life who will spur me on. They are always encouraging and they have been kind enough to accept me as part of their team, even though they know I will never skate. Somehow, just working out along side of them while they do skating drills and practice hitting is, in itself, inspiring to me. To be a part of the team...even in my present physical state, is just special. I pray that I won't take their hospitable spirit for granted. I want to make them proud. And, more than that, I want to be proud of myself.
There's a journey ahead of me. And it starts now...
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