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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

At the beginning of this yr. I weighed 342 today I am 329. Not a huge accomplishment for many but for me its wonderful as the previous yr i gained nearly 30 pounds.

I was in a good place. Mind and body where in healthy mode. My grand father passed away on the first of this month and i haven't been quite right since. Exercising still in tack but my eating is slowly deteriorating.

Posting a blog because I just put cookies in the oven. I burnt them emoticon I didn't need them. Ugghhhh I still want them and some fried wings, and every other unhealthy goodie.

Not motivated to eat right but really missing the healthy and happy weight loss feeling.....


The reason why i never wanted to fall off the wagon is because i know how hard it is to get back on!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILSHINE 10/18/2012 9:45AM

    You haven't fallen off the wagon you may have leaned to the side but as you can see by the responses to this blog you have lots of SparkFriends holding onto you and pulling you back. Take it one day at a time. Keep your mantra flowing and know that it's a one day at a time journey that you're capable of finishing!

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DARLENEK04 10/17/2012 7:24PM

  Come on chick....don't give up on you and your dreams...................I only try to lose
in small pieces.....once I lose that 5 pounds, then I talk myself into trying to only
lose 5 pounds.....
It is a mental game I play.....and it is never easy............would I rather be eating
a nice creamy cheesy casserole with bread, heck yes, BUT

I don't know how old you are, but eventually your health will catch up to you.
Mine did.

I just want you to realize that you always have ....we ......always have trouble
dealing with a death, however, your loved one would not want you sacrificing
your life on the altar of bad health..................
I have dealt with a lot of loss, all my family is gone now....and I hit a road block 3
months ago and my dr. threatened me with insulin if I did not do something....so I
got on the ball and have lost 18 pounds....since Sept. 4th.

When I went for my bloodwork Monday, my blood sugar was way down, my BP was
way down, my cholesterol was way down and all my numbers were great.

You need to do this for you..........

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 10/16/2012 7:22PM

    emoticon emoticon

BEST WISHES in reaching all of your goals.

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PEPPYPATTI 10/16/2012 6:18PM

    You can do it! We all have our stumbles & I know you will be able to get back up! Just give yourself some time.

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LADYGSC 10/16/2012 6:17PM

    emoticon Just keep telling yourself that you can do it and think of all those new clothes you'll be buying! emoticon

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D_4RECOVERY 10/16/2012 3:54PM

    I needed this poem last week and will probably need it again so I'm sharing it with you. Keep pushing dear friend. We're all in this together.

Don't Quit

When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down,
And you feel like the biggest failure in town.
When you want to give up just because you gave in,
and forget all about being healthy and thin.
So What! You went over your points a bit,
It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit!
It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change.
It's learning the skills to get back in your range.
It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now.
You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow."
It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal.
You're still gonna make it, just stay in control.
To stumble and fall is not a disgrace,
If you summon the will to get back in the race.
But, often the struggler's, when loosing their grip,
Just throw in the towel and continue to slip.
And learn too late when the damage is done,
that the race wasn't over...they still could have won.
Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow,
but facing each challenge will help you grow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint in a cloud of doubt.
When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit,
If you bite it, you write it....But don't you quit!

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PICKIE98 10/16/2012 2:29PM

    yup.. maybe make one of those things your treat after five pounds off, then another one after another five pounds off.
I make my goal only five pounds off.. It is more attainable and not so defeating.. after that five pounds, I go for another five..

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Learning how to eat..........

Thursday, September 13, 2012

I decided not to workout during lunch today....legs a little sore and i was a bit hungry. So, I opted to get something to eat and rest for a bit. however this sort of posed a problem. I had a strong taste for the ten piece fried chicken wing that i dip in ranch dressing with a cold drink but i knew this meal was not going to help on my weight loss mission.

Now, i decided to eat Subway for lunch. I ordered the 6 inch oven roasted chicken combo. which came with three cookies and a drink. I kept one cookie and traded the other two for a bag of apples (apples didn't sound good b/c i don't really care for them...but hey, time for a change)

The meal was so filling and delicious. I was so shocked. I am not super stuffed. The apples were good and sweet. I almost choked on one of them. Lol...i thought Lord even the healthy food is trying to kill me emoticon

I really feel like i can do this....i know a subway lunch is not the best healthy meal but for me its a great start. I am not a big eater but my eating habits are horrible...My meats are fried, my drinks are full of sugar and my dessert calories could probably replace two full meals. So subway was a nice step for me.

I am definitely going to learn how to eat well......because i surely am not working out FOR NOTHING!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EATVEGAN 9/14/2012 2:41AM

    With Subway you just have to watch what you put on your sandwich. I get the 12-inch Veggie Delite w/no cheese. It is only 460 calories so it is my full meal. Yummy, too. emoticon

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LADYGSC 9/13/2012 6:56PM

    emoticon emoticon

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D_4RECOVERY 9/13/2012 4:56PM

    Well done on passing up the chicken for subway. Great choice. emoticon emoticon

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Full body mirror

Sunday, September 09, 2012

My goodness! I just tried on clothes at a local store and could not believe what i saw. Normally when i shop i don't try on clothes and it has nothing to do with not wanting to see my body. I am just always in a hurry.

In the fitting room, i got a chance to see my body...full view. I wasn't shamed or disappointed but shocked and happy to say that i have started back working out.

I believe i have been in denial. What i look like and my perception of myself is definitely not the same.

Working on me one day at a time.....off to the gym to get my fifty minutes on the arc trainer over and done with.......

Dang....I saw every dimple in my leg... with bright lights...that's should be enough to keep me working out and eating better for quite some time emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

D_4RECOVERY 9/12/2012 4:51PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPARKLER82 9/9/2012 11:19PM

    I can relate...sometimes I catch myself in a store mirror and I'm like..who's that chubby lady? She looks strangely familiar..eek! It's me! Haha Only really, it has caught me off guard multiple times! I feel much thinner inside I guess.

You are so right though - one day at a time and we are headed in the right direction!


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It's time to upgrade......

Friday, June 15, 2012

For a long time, i have said that i wanted to embrace me...the total me, past, present and future.

Have you ever felt change....well, i feel different. I totally love who i am now, plus size and all. I understand that i need to lose weight but this time its not because i want to look different or wear cute clothes. Those things are definitely a bonus but this time i am doing it just because.

Have you ever bought shoes, an outfit new clothes not because you needed them but because you wanted too? That's how i feel about my weight. I think i have finally fallen in love with me. I like me just the way i am!! However, I like the finer things so I'm always looking to improve.

I am beautiful now, sexy now, wearing nice clothes now and i thank God for that.....but i feel a change coming!!

I wish i had some orange cones to put up because I am under construction...

I am definitely ready for my new season!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

D_4RECOVERY 6/15/2012 2:00PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Bittersweet....I'm really not believing this!!!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Well, I am really learning that things are not always what they seem. I had gained almost forty pound since 2010---stress. In February 2012 I was 342 and just knowing that made me feel awful.

I work 14 hour days so i started working out as much as i could and sort of watching what i ate. I i began to lose but nothing significant...the scale kept me disappointed so i stopped weighing in for a while.

About a month ago i weighed myself and was floored....323....Okay so the scale is broken...I bought new batteries ...still the same..days later it said 325--slightly up but still not accurate.

I believed the maximum weight for my scale was 350 so i literally thought i gained more than 350 and the scale was confused by all the weight unable to show my true number...Whatever the problem, I needed a new scale so i could really know how much i weighed.

I weighed myself again this morning and it showed 328.5. I felt in my heart that this was wrong and decided to weigh myself at the gym. They have a scale like at the doctor's office. So, i gave myself the "it doesn't matter how much you weigh because you are working on being healthier talk."

It said 328.......It SAID 328. I CAN'T BELIEVE it said 328.

I am so happy...worked out with a smile and a little extra pep but when i got home i began to analyze the reality of the situation. I had become so depressed about my weight that when i really started to lose I didn't even believe it. I remember telling my husband the scale was broken.

What happened to me??? I had lost hope. The girl who declares that she is fine no matter what her weight. The girl who knows her husband better not ever say anything about her size because if you didn't have me you will definitely miss every pound. I'm a confident woman but this latest round of weight loss took away a piece of me.

In my defense, i would have believed the scale if i had noticed more difference in the way my clothes fit. I have pants that weren't as snug but still tight...

Whatever i was going through is the past. i feel beautiful inside and out. Working on a new me and loving this season of my life. I embrace it all!!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

D_4RECOVERY 5/22/2012 7:32PM


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MOMFAN 5/20/2012 9:57PM


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XMAC33 5/20/2012 7:53PM


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RICHILA 5/20/2012 6:51PM

    Spark On! We Got This! emoticon

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HOTPINKCAMARO49 5/20/2012 6:20PM

  emoticon You go, girl! emoticon

Today is the 1st day of the rest of YOUR life!

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