Saturday, June 05, 2010
Here is the second part of the lessons that I have learned over the course of my weight loss. For me they have become more than lessons - sometimes I need to remember how far I've come, so that I can continue on this weight loss journey (sometimes it's a bumpy road!!)
14. Moderation. Moderation. Moderation. Did I mentioned…moderation?
15. The stove/oven in my kitchen is more than just a clock and timer. It can be used to cook meals – healthy meals….
16. Donuts, cakes and candy will ALWAYS exist. I do not have to eat them daily. I will not singlehandedly cause the collapse of the junk food industry.
17. Eating healthy is not a punishment.
18. When I don’t want to go out and do “it” – meaning exercise - I remind myself there is absolutely no legitimate excuse for why I can’t (granted, I don’t have kids!).
19. That thinking about going out and doing “it” –exercise-, is far worse than actually going and doing “it”…
20. Very few people will fully understand why this has been a struggle. It is outside of the normal definition of “struggle” – it does not involve smoking, alcohol, finances, etc. And yet, getting my eating under control and learning to live healthy, has been one of the hardest struggles I have ever faced.
21. That I’m lucky. I never developed diabetes, joint problems, or a sundry of other obesity-related health issues. I was playing with fire…
22. Compliments are a powerful thing. When a random friend says “Wow – you look great!” it makes the struggle seem so much more fulfilling.
23. Anonymity is also a powerful thing. When friends don’t recognize me, due to the weight loss, there is a whole other sense of self fulfilment.
24. That no one really understands how life altering this journey is – unless they have been down this road. It’s the same with most other substantial journeys. It has been an emotional rollercoaster, and yes, I have cried. There have been days where the weight has not come off fast enough, that I feel like I am fat, ugly, etc. The scars of having been chastised for being obese DO NOT wear away over night – but I am confident that one day I will look in the mirror and not see rolls.
25. Strangely enough, that my stomach is actually grosser having lost over 100 pounds, than it was at the beginning. Yes, saggy skin is not pretty. If saggy skin and stretch marks are the worst things I have to deal with, life is pretty good.
26. That if I succeed (and I have 45 pounds to go), I can do anything. Wait! No…. I have come this far – I can do anything NOW.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
I've been working on a list of lessons I've learned over the duration of my weight loss. I'll be breaking it up, as it's too long for one blog entry. Enjoy :)
1. I could learn to eat (and like) fruit. Three years ago, you would never have caught me with an apple, banana, or basically any food that came from a tree (unless it was pureed with alcohol). Now, not a day goes by that I don’t have at least one or two pieces – and actually enjoy them.
2. I could learn to crave green things (which is better than saying: “I could learn to crave foods that are not covered in icing, sugar, chocolate, etc”). Over the course of two years I have started to crave lettuce, spinach, asparagus and broccoli. If it’s green, layer it on! And who knew that spinach and asparagus are quite tasty?
3. That I would feel guilty when I snuck a donut or cupcake – 2 years ago these were my staple snacks; there were days I would go through the drive thru and order 2 donuts to eat on my way home from work. No more.
4. That it’s not selfish to put ME first, so that I can work out, eat healthy and take care of me. I used to feel guilty when I wanted to work out as opposed to go and do things with friends. But you know what? I want to live to a ripe old age, and at 300+ pounds (and 5’5) I likely would not have. If I need to work out to be healthy and continue to lose weight, that’s OK.
5. That I could learn to crave working out. The energy I get, and sense of fulfilment that I feel from running, makes it worth every minute.
6. That being smelly post-work out would make me feel good – and that I do not care who smells me! It means I accomplished something, and sometimes that’s worth sharing (even if others don’t like it). That funk you smell is ME!
7. Guess what? Clothes come in colours OTHER THAN black. And guess what else? It’s kind of fun to experiment with colour.
8. Related to 6 – it’s also kind of fun to shop in stores that are not exclusively plus-sized. Especially when the cost of an entire OUTFIT is less than a pair of plus-sized pants.
9. That I would have to learn to shut my mouth – oh yes, I said it. At over 300 pounds, when someone would either “kindly” or rudely suggested that I needed to lose weight, I would be hurt. Now I have to keep from confronting individuals in the same position that I was in 2007 – it did not help me to have it pointed out; and no matter how much I want to help others, it’s not my place to do so unless asked.
10. There are muscles and bones under that fat.
11. That the foods I used to adore, make me feel like a sack of excrement. Just because they taste oh-so-delicious, they are not worth the hassle, bloat, etc. I still adore those foods, but my body does not adore them in return. Who knew that eating healthy would make me feel good?
12. That it’s ok to take a day off and just be “normal” – and not always worry about the weight. As long as I remember: ONE DAY OFF CAN MEAN TWO DAYS TO RECOUP.
13. If I don’t buy it, I can’t eat it.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
In the past I've been a bit of a klutz...
There was the time, 2 days into a 6 week backpacking trip, I tripped on a flight of stairs in a quaint hotel in France, and did some serious damage to an ankle - the fact that I had a 40 pound pack strapped to my back didn't help matters. I spend the next four weeks wincing across every cobbled stone and staircase I could find!
I have tripped in potholes, fallen over rocks, fallen face-flat on the stairs of the Pantheon etc...
I am proud to say that my klutziness appeared to be over, especially since I haven't mugged out during any of my runs/jogs - until tonight.
While powering through the last 2 km of an 11 km day, I wiped out on a sidewalk. I am proud to say that I left skin and blood behind. Granted I am scraped up - knee, elbow, hand...and bruised...and sore...but I feel liberated - I have bled for my cause!
Several years ago, while in a sheep herding trial, I hooked myself on the chain link of a sheep enclosure - which made me proud - I was part of the elite who had bled and was scarred from my "sport".
I thought I was crazy until I spoke to a hardcore football (soccer) fan. If you know footballers, you will understand what it means to be a football supporter - I find this subculture to be absolutely fascinating. My ex, who is a die hard Liverpool fan, summed up the true nature of being a true football fan...
"You can't legitimately claim you support a team, until you have bled for that team."
Apparently he had bled for Liverpool, when a fight broke out between Liverpool fans and Nottingham fans.
And now I get it....
So fitness, I bleed for you...but now if you don't mind, I need to go and tend to my wounds!
Friday, March 05, 2010
I love junk food, carbs, etc. Put a glaze or icing on something, and I will devour it in seconds. Which is why I don't bring these foods in to my home.
That is also why I'm thrilled *sarcasm* by the plate of donuts, cinnamon buns, dessert scones, etc, presently sitting in the kitchen. They are staring at me...tempting me...oh that glaze would taste soooooooo darn good right now.
My boyfriend recently aquired a job in a coffee shop - at the end of the night, any stock that remains is dispersed to the staff.
While I do occassionally bake, I know EXACTLY what goes into my baked goods - coffee shop "baking" isn't exactly healthy, and is somewhat mysterious.
Last night, he proudly came home with a bag of junk, and excitedly exclaimed "Help youself!"
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Alright - so after a very tumultuous month, that culminated with a literal nose dive off the weight loss wagon, it is the first time in nearly 4 weeks that I feel I'm getting back on track.
On Sunday I finally started strength training again - felt good. Monday I started doing crunches again - felt OK at the time (but my muscles are telling me otherwise!! HA!). Finally, tonight, after hemming and hawing, I finally started walking again. When I left "home" I walked/ran an average of 7-9km 5 days a week. Tonight, in my new city, I did 6 km, and I feel great. It was city walking, which is a little less challenging than the terrain I'm used to, but an accomplishment considering I HATE city walking. I put on my music and powered along - I felt free, and was actually smiling at some points. Gradually I will get back to running - I stopped in late December after a storm rendered my route into a sheet of ice; walking was far safer!!
I am slowly starting to re-clean up eating habits and hopefully in a couple of days I will be back to my former, health-conscious self!
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