Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Wow, spent 2 weeks painting, cleaning, rearranging, and treating the critters for bugs..... In the meantime still working on keeping my eating healthy, and making time to work out. The office is finished, our bedroom is cleaned and rearranged, the entertainment room & guest room look great. Still working on the clutter in the office, front room, & dining room. During all of this I learned that clutter is what keeps me stuck. If there are distractions, things I have misplaced, or projects I haven't finished they keep me from focusing on the job at hand (like ready made junk food vs. making something fresh & healthy...... How much of my life have I let slip away due to clutter. It takes some time to go through it all, but I am allowing myself one hour each day to sort through it all. This is giving me a much clearer head and the ability to focus on today...
Friday, August 24, 2012
As all of us have been trying and dieting, and doing strange things to try and get that momentary glimpse of where we "should " be...... I had been in the USCG, served for 9 years and battled my weight the whole time. After I was honorably discharged I got in the best shape of my life with Tae Kwon Do. Then moving out of my parents and starting over again with the kids, I lost track of me and was totally focused on them. For 10 years I went to therapy, used 12 step programs, anything I could to get my head in a great place....
Now I am making the time to get my body to a great place.... Seems like I can only concentrate one 1 thing at a time....So now it's what my body needs, and finally I am listening....
So the 1st is on my 2nd time using the TV show Power Yoga, I can hold the plank position and slowly lower myself down to down dog, huge for me. No. 1 being I need better balance to ride my horses better...
The Flop was wanting to take the dog on a hike early in the morning this week and so far have not done it. Today I woke up at 9:45, I came home late volunteering at Wounded Warrior. for a good cause, just left me feeling like I had been run over... I have committed to volunteering for one more show. Hopefully by then with the changes in my diet & exercise routines will enable me to get through a very busy evening in the concession stand without leaving me feeling completely drained. And a huge plus I did not eat anything fried during my break, huge step for me!!!!
Now back to working on household chores.....
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
I want to try something new. I have depended on everyone else to tell me, where, what, when , and How...... I have been able to accomplish alot. Heck thanks to this blog letting me write out what's going on, for the 1st time ever I was thankful for the good that came from my father.
Let's stat here: I have always acknowledged him as my father, he disowned me at 16, at 17 said I would never make it in the service, etc, etc, etc (you get the picture). This week I found a piece of music that brought me back another piece of who I am. It was during the best year musically (I played 2 instruments in band), and the worst emotionally.. I was 15 and having a mental break down due to my relationship with my father.
I learned what kind of temper I have, and what can happen when things go wrong (1/2 a bottle of wild turkey, 5 hour long distance phone call, and the end of his 2nd marriage, all within 24 hours). What I needed to do for me, and how far I was willing to go to finish something.... He taught me about dedication, focus, negativity, and my waaay too direct 1000 yard stare.
Because I have owned my relationship with my parents I am in an emotional place now that is amazing. After getting through the initial stress of last month, I am now sleeping regularly (5+ yrs sleep deprivation takes a toll on you physically), When I am not stressed regular size portions are more than satisfying, and I can dream again.
Since becoming aware of what resources we have that are finite and getting insanely angry with the American public for not putting their brains into the game before their dollars... I want to provide people with the means to use renewable energy sources, there is no one doing it in my area. Lots of people not willing to change for the future or the better. There are some who move out to areas like this just to be able to see the stars at night, minimal light polution... I want to make a difference.... I am so excited to think this is possible to do.
Thanks for following and you are more than welcome to keep me company on my journey. I was told that if you do what you love, you'll never see it as "work" again. This where I want to be....
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Was able to turn a corner, unemployment was approved, have an interview tomorrow for a project I really want to be a part of, and I took on the bulk of the task to get our new office painted. I was so angry and scared after getting fired I did not know where to go. I look for jobs, go to job fairs and keep moving forward. I am much quieter inside now. Good thing, a friend is having a rough time in a similar situation.. I can help now.
Another good point, now that I am calmer the food thing is getting back to normal. When I am stressed I want to eat, when I am not, I get full and can feel when I have had enough. So here's to starting again, this time with the correct foot... LOL!
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