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Last Night

Saturday, February 02, 2008




Well-



Last night went a lot better than I expected. I didn't make an ass of myself (that I'm aware of at least!) and I did really well with the dinner portion. We had fried chicken, mashed potatoes, mixed steamed vegetables, rolls and cheesecake for desert plus open bar the whole time. I had one rum and diet coke which I sipped for an hour and then switched two water, 2 bites of my chicken, loaded up on the veggies skipped the rolls completely, had about a tablespoon of the mashed potatoes and only 3 BITES of the cheesecake! I've never been able to NOT finish a slice of cheesecake so I was super proud of myself there. It's really been a good week for me all around which to be honest doesn't happen often so I'm hoping this little streak continues! My soon to be new boss did tell me though that they're planning a lunch for me at work to celebrate the promotion so in another week or so I'll probably be all stressed again but I figure it's okay because after it's over and I've gotten through it without any nervous breakdowns or binge eating I'll have another reason like I've accomplished something and that is sort of a nice feeling =)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZIRCADIA 2/5/2008 10:18PM

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!! THAT IS AWESOME!!!!! :D I'm so proud of you!

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SLCOLMAN 2/2/2008 11:38PM

    Nikki - Great job!!! I bet it feels great to be through that event!!

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JUSTKIMBERLY 2/2/2008 12:10PM

    Congratulations! I'm so proud of you!

I understand how you might be anxious about having a lunch in your honor. Would it be possible to talk to your boss about having low-calorie options there for YOU considering the lunch IS being given for you? They may be more than happy to accommodate and then you wouldn't have to worry quite so much.

Either way.... congratulations on last night and congratulations on the promotion lunch.

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AMUNET_RA 2/2/2008 10:41AM

    Savour that nice feeling, Nikki! You've earned it!

~~Bonnie

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Eeeek!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008




I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but around Christmas time I was offered a promotion. I took a couple weeks to get back to them about it because it’s in a completely different department; it’s a lot more fast paced and a lot more demanding than my current position. I eventually accepted because it’s a 15% pay increase and it really is a good opportunity to move up in the company. Well up until now everyone’s been very quiet about it and I’ve been continuing on with my old position until they’re able to hire someone new to fill my place. Well, they’ve hired someone so I’ll be making the transition soon which scares the hell out of me. Not to mention we have a company dinner on Friday and I just found out they’ll be announcing my promotion in front of everyone which will no doubt make me want to crawl up into a little ball and cry. Maybe it’s that I get embarrassed easily or maybe it’s that my self esteem sucks but I really don’t like calling attention to myself and I know everyone’s going to look at me when they make this announcement and I am seriously stressing out about it. I talked to my boss to try and convince her making a big announcement like this wasn’t a good idea and she basically told me I didn’t have a say in it. This is a new position that they sort of created for me and they have to announce it so they can explain to everyone what I’ll be doing and why they chose me. So yeah, there’s no way out of this and the closer it gets to Friday the more my stomach hurts. Don’t get me wrong I AM grateful for the promotion and it couldn’t have come at a better time, I’m just not looking forward to this brief moment in the spotlight. What if I have something in my teeth or my mascara is running or my skirt is tucked into my pantyhose or I spill something on myself while they’re talking about me and everyone’s going to be looking and OH GEEZ I need to stop thinking about this! I reeeeeally could use some comfort food right now but I know if I give in to that temptation I’ll just be even more self conscious on Friday so I’m trying hard to be good. I’m going to really be tested with my emotional eating in the next few months while I’m learning my new position and making the inevitable mistakes people make when they’re learning. Keep your fingers crossed for me because I’ll need all the extra luck I can get!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLCOLMAN 2/1/2008 6:33PM

    CONGRATULATIONS on the wonderful promotion that was created just for you! Try not to stress about the announcement - nothing you can do about it so try to make the best of it! Just smile and act gracious! :) *HUGS* You can do it!!

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COWBOYSPENCER 1/31/2008 2:25PM

    Fake it 'til ya make it :) You'll be fine.

Whenever I'm feeling insecure about stuff like this (all the time), I stand up straight, take a deep breath, and resolve that I'm not going to let it get me. No, it doesn't work every time, but what does.

Go get em.

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ZIRCADIA 1/30/2008 10:31PM

    CONGRATS!!! I wish they'd do that to me at my work... SHEESH!!! :) I'm CRAVING some recognition beyond my boss telling me behind a closed door that I'm awesome even though they aren't going to promote me. GRRRRRrrrrrr. You will get through the fear of embarrassment -- you will be FINE!!!!!!!!! :D

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KIMCATUS 1/30/2008 8:43PM

    Deep breath! I know, like Bonnie said, easier said than done, but it WILL be ok!! Double check your pantyhose (I've done that before...a little old lady told me about it while I was line at the grocery store!!! LOL), your teeth, your mascara and then take a deep breath and remember, they did this for you because they KNOW you can do it!! Hang in there!!!

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AMUNET_RA 1/30/2008 3:48PM

    Well first of all, CONGRATULATIONS!! That's a nice pay increase and it sounds like an all round good deal.

Now, if you're as highly thought-of in this company as it seems that you are, I'm sure that everyone will just be sending lots of warm thoughts and love your way. They created a position FOR YOU! They LOVE YOU, Nikki! :-) I'm not much for the spot light, either...just try to relax (easier said than done, I know) will your hubby be there? Can you hold his hand through it? Sing a conforting song to yourself under your breath? Think of all your classmates here at Hogwarts? Have a glass of wine before hand? ;-)

Enjoy this as much as you can, Nikki, the spotlight will be off before you know it and you can relax and start your new position, as only you can!

((HUGS))
~~Bonnie

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Another Monday

Monday, January 28, 2008




Well,

I didn’t think I’d lose anything this week being as I was sick and couldn’t do anything but lay on the couch for three days but I redeemed myself with a FLAWLESS weekend and lost one pound! It’s not much but it’s better than nothing and it’s WAY better than gaining. My weekends have gotten a lot better in the last month which I’m happy about because they were really screwing me up there for awhile. I still struggle sometimes with not over-snacking after dinner but even that has improved now that we’re through with the holidays. Yesterday I tried on a pair of size 16 jeans that I bought a couple years ago and have never been able to button and THEY BUTTONED! =) I’m still not quite ready to wear them because when I sit down I can’t breathe (they’re a little tight!) but I think 8-10 more pounds and they’ll fit nicely. I’m going to try them on again the last weekend in February and see how they feel then. I’m hoping when we get our tax return I’ll be able to comfortably fit into a 16 so I can buy a couple more pairs =)

I played A LOT of DDR this weekend. My husband makes fun of me when I get all sweaty and I know I look funny because I never know what to do with my hands so I just keep them straight to my sides and I look like I’m auditioning for river dance =) I think though the MAIN reason he makes fun of me is because he’s TOTALLY jealous of my mad DDR skills. He’s pretty crappy at it hehe =) I like it though because it’s fun, I can play for a long time without getting bored and it tells me how many calories I’m burning. I can easily play for 2 hours which depending on the difficulty level lets me burn anywhere from 900 – 1500 calories.

I don’t want to jinx anything so I’m knocking on wood as I type this but I’m feeling pretty good about things this time. I’ve got a little under 4 months until my convention and I’m thinking it’s not at all out of the question for me to be under 200 by then if I keep up with the changes I’ve started making. I’d really love to feel pretty even just for one weekend and I’m thinking, hoping, that I can make that happen this time =)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZIRCADIA 1/29/2008 7:12PM

    YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!! WOOHOO! :) I wish I could play DDR, but bah, we don't have a version for the PS3 yet and the PS2 is somewhere where there isn't room to put the dance pad on the floor, and the PS3 doesn't have connections for PS2 stuff. ANYWAY long story short, I have DDR but I can't play it. WAHHHHHHHHHH. But we dooo have ROCK BAND. :D HEH HEH HEH. and I've been drumming a lot -- which is AWESOME fun. :D

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SLCOLMAN 1/28/2008 5:01PM

    Awesome about the DDR - I totally suck at DDR plus we have it for the XBox and not the Wii (yet hopefully) and I have to get the TV out and undo it in the back to swich back and forth between game systems which is a total pain!!! I know that you are going to do awesome at working toward your goal for your convention!!

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KIMCATUS 1/28/2008 3:35PM

    LOL....love the picture!! Great job losing the pound...hey it will ALL add up, so any loss is great!! Hey, I'm jealous of your mad DDR skillz...lol! Keep up the good work! :D

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Ahead of goal!!

Monday, January 21, 2008




Well, I weighed in today at 222 which is 4lbs down from last Monday so woohoo! I was a little nervous about today’s weigh in because I went over on my calories yesterday, had a lot of high sodium foods and it’s TOM so yeah, I was NOT looking forward to this morning. Yesterday we had a huge brunch of biscuits and gravy with sausage, eggs and hashbrowns. I should have had smaller portions and maybe skipped the sausage and hashbrowns all together but I didn’t. I had like 3 servings of hashbrowns, 2 sausage patties and 2 biscuits @ 200 calories each with easily a half cup of gravy. Not to mention before I ate this I had an orange and some grapes. So, needless to say I was over on my calories by 1:00. Usually when I screw up this early in the day I just write that day off as a failure and keep eating but I didn’t yesterday which surprised me. I drank lost of water (6 bottles @ 16oz each) and kept busy as much as I could. I made dinner for the rest of my family (grilled chicken, potatoes and green beans) but while they ate I cleaned the kitchen and I was sure to only make enough for the two of them so I wouldn’t be tempted. Before bed I had a big glass of warm fat free milk to keep my metabolism running and to meet my protein goals for the day but that’s it. I expected to weigh in at about 225 this morning which I would have been okay with considering I went over 2000 calories yesterday but no… 222!!!! It must have been all the extra cardio from last week! Anyway, this puts me two weeks and two pounds ahead of my 2/4 goal of 224 so YAY!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZIRCADIA 1/24/2008 9:56PM

    CONGRATS GIRL!!!! :)

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JUSTKIMBERLY 1/24/2008 5:42PM

    Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!

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AMUNET_RA 1/21/2008 5:33PM

    yay! Congratulatios, Sweetie! Keep up the great work! Once again...great photo!!!

~~Bonnie

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SLCOLMAN 1/21/2008 4:59PM

    Woo Hoo!!! WTG witht hat kick a$$ loss :)

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KIMCATUS 1/21/2008 1:49PM

    Oooh good job with the loss! Sounds like you are on a good roll! Just watch those extra calories...I know I had problems with it last week. lol

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ETER_NITY 1/21/2008 9:04AM

    Congratulations. It's okay to sometimes go over your calorie range so long as it doesn't become habit. Keep up the good work.

Shirley

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Desperately seeking speaking...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008




I’m having one of those days where I’m fighting with myself to do anything at work. I like my job I do just some days I want to do something or be somewhere where people speak to each other. Everyone, including myself, is really busy all the time and I know this and for the most part I enjoy the quiet but every once and awhile it makes me feel restless and sort of lonely. I spend a lot of time on SP these days and I think it’s because I’m desperate for some kind of human contact even if it is with people I’ve never met. Again, for the most part, I’d say 90% of the time I actually enjoy the quietness of everything but when I break it down it’s like this:

1. I wake up in the morning while everyone is asleep and get ready for work. It’s quiet.

2.I wake up my son to get him ready for school reminding him to stay quiet because my husband works nights and is asleep. Another 15 minutes or so of quiet.

3. We drive the 5 minutes to Ryley’s (my son) school. I try and get him to talk during this time but he’s still half asleep so sometimes it doesn’t work. Partial quiet.

4. I get to work between 7:45-8:00. My boss tells me good morning and then there is no actual speaking in my office after this until 5:00 when we tell each other good night. Any necessary correspondence is done via email. 9 hours of quiet.

5. I pick up my son from his after school program around 5:30 and he’s much more awake now and talks to me the 5 minutes home about video games and pokemon cards. The first solid conversation of my day.

6. We get home and do home work, work out, make dinner, clean up and read until Ryley’s 8:30 bedtime. We talk about things like how to make a cursive k, why we don’t have cookies for dinner and why wiping boogers on the wall instead of using a tissue is unacceptable. This is 3 hours of talking in between activities which I estimate adds up to about 1 and a half hours of actual speaking.

So to summarize, there are 1 hour and roughly 41 minutes a day in which my surroundings are not silent and free completely of the sound of human voices. Not to mention that the vast majority of my communication is with a seven year old. See how it’s easy to get lonely and bored? =)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZIRCADIA 1/16/2008 10:01PM

    My job.... I have to talk to too many people that are either just awful (the complaining and crazies I get to talk to being a supervisor at a call center), or people I just don't even like. Now there are a lot of people I DO like at my work, I am often too busy to talk to them so it makes me feel antisocial because there is a LOT of talking that happens at my work. HAHAHA. :D Sometimes I wish I worked at a job where I wasn't required to talk to people all the time. :P I'd like to talk to the people I want to... but just not everyone else.

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SLCOLMAN 1/15/2008 11:13PM

    7 year old conversation vs the type of conversations I hear and try to ignor all day at my job.... hmmm I go for the 7 year old!! *HUGS*

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