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Things Have to Improve

Monday, May 16, 2011

Yesterday started out great. We went to the barn and had a wonderful afternoon. Then we went to lunch and downhill from there. My daughter texted me that my mother kept calling. Then there was a call from my sister. Then I got a call from my aunt. I knew this was not good. I called my cousin to feel out my aunt to see what was going on. Apparently, Karen, the older sister who I do not speak to, called my aunt to tell her she wanted to put my mother in assisted living. My mother probably bit her head off at some point because she didn't have mine to bite off. Next thing I know it is phone calls all night which accomplished nothing.

Now, I got a text from my daughter that she has had throbbing on either side of her head and it is getting so bad she can't stand it anymore. According to her, it has been going on for a while, but she thought it would go away. She also said that there is a lump on her head. I called her doctor who said to take her to Urgent care. Lucky for us, there is a children's urgent care right by her school. My husband was on his way to pick her up after driver's ed, and got to the Urgent Care as soon as they opened. Of course, he did not have our insurance card. So, I faxed it to them.

I blew my 1,000 day exercise streak today. I made it for 6 weeks, but I just have no energy today with everything going on. We even had to miss that dinner for the top producers we were supposed to go to this evening, but I wasn't going to wait another day to find out what is wrong with Sarah.

I honestly believe I am starting to lose my mind. I haven't been able to get any work done. Those buyers that didn't show up on Saturday really didn't give us a reason that made sense. Right now, I am tired and stressed and haven't accomplished a thing today. I even had my son come home early because I didn't want to sit here by myself thinking of all that is going on. That was before I knew about Sarah. One more thing to add to the pile.

Update--They could find nothing wrong with Sarah. My mother thought it could be related to her allergies. I gave her an allergy pill and it no longer hurts. I also think it is related to when she is bored. She says that's when it starts. Thank goodness she is fine emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELISADEL 5/17/2011 2:23PM

    Regarding your daughter's potential allergies... I've had pretty good luck with using products like neti pots (stuff designed to rinse out your sinuses with salt water). If you think your daughter's allergies may be related to her sinuses, it may be worth considering giving it a shot.

Also, if her headaches are related to boredom, maybe consider getting her some type of meditation program to try? One of the first things that jumps to mind to me for how boredom could lead to headaches is the fact that boredom can be stressful in its own way (it sure is to me!). Meditation can be a good way to learn to deal with sitting still and being in a moment where you're not *doing* something without tipping over the line into being bored and restless and agitated.

I just wanted to throw out some suggestions that I've found helpful in my own life since I've experienced problems with these things. If you don't think they fit your situation, just ignore them :)

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LOPEYP 5/17/2011 7:02AM

    Glad that everything worked out with your DD. I'm sure that all the craziness didn't help either. YOU-need to take care of yourself. Instead of sitting and thinking, get up and move!
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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 5/17/2011 12:20AM

    I am glad Sarah is doing better!

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EJOY-EVELYN 5/16/2011 11:52PM

    If you can, try to give your worries and concerns to God. God is gracious and merciful, slow to anger. (Joel 2:13) May you find comfort and strength by God's great capacity for love and compassion to help relieve you of some of the stresses you have. Maybe your eating well and fitness can become more of a stress reliever, as well. Sure hope your life can begin to see many more blessings than chaos. I'm thankful for the doctor's good news report for your daughter, yet am cautiously optimistic by what may have caused the pain in the first place. I pray that it doesn't return. Can you try to concentrate on some of the great blessings in your life? Can you list five things you are thankful for today? Hug your dear pets and get the help you know you can get from your family during this time of so much talk about various transitions in life. You cannot be expected to be the superwoman so many women try to be. Where do you re-energize? Find that spot and concentrate a portion of your day just to re-energize and gain clarify. I honestly don't know what will help you the most, but sure hope you'll find true enjoyment and peace along the way you feel is best.

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GRACIEC 5/16/2011 9:05PM

    Find something to do that will help you relax and relieve some of the stress that you're experiencing! Take some time for yourself!
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DARINGR8LY 5/16/2011 8:13PM

    You need to relax a bit. Don't worry it will all come together--life. I will be thinking of Sarah and hoping everything is okay.

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 5/16/2011 7:50PM

    Start a new streak, or just do a 10 minute video from sparks. It can really keep you going. At least they do me.

Glad you had a great time at the barn with JC. Hope things settle down a bit more at home. Hope your daughter's problem is nothing serious.
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DEBSZOO74 5/16/2011 7:32PM

    I'm sorry! I know what it feels like to be tired and stressed. I hope things get better for you soon!

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THETURTLEBEAR 5/16/2011 6:44PM

    You poor thing - I'd be stressed to! And the thing about streaks is that you can just start them over. Family issues are far more important. Good luck - hope all is well with her!

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MARTHAWILL 5/16/2011 6:43PM

    Your title says it all. Things have to improve. It will. Sorry you are going through all this stress. Hope thing work out for you very soon. Hang in there.

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TXGRANDMA 5/16/2011 6:42PM

    I am so sorry! Sure hope that everything is OK with Sarah. Please keep us posted! We are here for you!
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Bad Day :[

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Today was not a good day. Well, my weigh in was good. Lost a pound. It was downhill from there. My buyers never showed up to see the houses we had scheduled. That is not like them. I've called, texted and left messages with no response. So, I am a bit concerned. Then, the weather was absolutely awful.. cold, rainy and damp. My husband and I went and saw the houses ourselves because we knew two of them they were really interested in. One of the properties we could only get into one side (it is a side by side townhouse) because an agent who held it open this morning locked the bottom lock of the other side. Great!

Then we came home and decided to watch the season 2 finale of Dexter. I set up my computer with my tv and all we got was pixeled picture. I called netflix and they said that my speed on my modem was fluctuating. I called at&t, who at first said there was nothing wrong, then ran line tests and said there is something wrong with my line and would send a tech out on Monday. Here we go again. I asked if this time they could actually call someone in advance instead of waiting until I call because the guy is an hour late and then send someone. By the way, that one was my fault. I put a cable in a place that I wasn't supposed to put a cable.

After 1.5 hours of jacking around with the tv etc, Brian decides to start making dinner. I know it is a long process with him. So, I decide to workout. Today was supposed to be a rest day, but I had to try the new handweights I got of Leslie's. I did 3 miles with the hand weights and I can feel it. I'm sorry. What she says about exercise changing your bad mood is not true. I am still in a bad mood. I don't know what happened to my buyers. I can't get hold of anyone.

Tomorrow I am supposed to go to the barn. I'm just hoping it is not as crappy tomorrow as it is today with the rain and winds blowing. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THETURTLEBEAR 5/15/2011 9:52AM

    Today will be better!

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 5/14/2011 11:37PM

    Sorry about the tough day... congrats on getting a workout in. Hope tomorrow is a better day.

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TXGRANDMA 5/14/2011 11:26PM

    Sorry you had such a bad day! I KNOW tomorrow will be better, my friend!
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HUGE emoticonon the one pound weight loss!

Comment edited on: 5/14/2011 11:27:39 PM

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 5/14/2011 11:16PM

    Sorry about your day, tomorrow will be better!

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DARINGR8LY 5/14/2011 10:20PM

    I agree with the other posts. Focus on the good things today. Really your mood didn't improve with Leslie? Give it some more time. The day isn't over.
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LILE4ME4EVER 5/14/2011 10:15PM

  It will get better. Take it one day at a time. ;)

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BAILEYS7OF9 5/14/2011 8:55PM

    yes a cold crappy day in SE WI! Hoping tomorrow is better!!!

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EJOY-EVELYN 5/14/2011 8:50PM

    Glad you were able to salvage a few super-great moments: Love the weight loss (for me, I see it as four sticks of lard or butter off the body) and the fact you were able to work in an unexpected work out. That's one step closer to New York City! The rest hopefully will result in the reward of a great sale on a nice-weather day. What can I say . . . it's the eternal optimist again. Blessings will come!

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MJREIMERS 5/14/2011 8:49PM

    Any day at the barn will lift your spirits. I know when I spend time with my mare, everything else disappears and I become calmer and more relaxed. Take some time for you and your horse to help lift your spirits. Remember everyday is a new day!

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Today

Friday, May 13, 2011

I didn't want to do it, but I did. I had a nice quiet day. Caught up on all the shows that I had dvr'd, stayed off the computer for the first time in I don't know how long and my phone didn't ring :) That was a first. I didn't even go to the barn just took the quiet time for myself.

Then...it happened. I couldn't help it. I had to exercise emoticon. I am in the challenge to do at least 10 minutes every day for 1,000 days. Oh, but I didn't want to. I figured out how to plug my laptop into my tv so I could watch netflix :) But, the exercise. Well, if I can watch netflix, I can put Leslie's Walk Club on my tv too. That was the answer. I did Leslie's thigh workout, well, that was 11 minutes. Hmmm. ... I said 10 minutes. Well, I then did Leslie's ab workout. Ok. 24 minutes not bad. But, now my heart rate is up.. emoticon

One 3 mile walk won't kill me. So, I turned on Walk it Out in the other room and Leslie's 3 mile walk with the Stretchy band in the other. I finished that 3 miles, but I love doing Leslie's walk in central park only another 14 minutes. I finished my 10 minute workout 95 minutes later. I burned over 550 calories, got almost 10,000 steps and found my beautiful emoticon.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNOWFILLY 5/14/2011 9:05PM

    YOU ROCK!!!!

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DARINGR8LY 5/14/2011 10:11AM

    Leslie just makes everything better. I so wish I could meet her in real life.

Exercise is so naturally good. You did awesome. Glad you caught your rainbow.
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SARALEIGHM 5/14/2011 8:08AM

    Good for you! I should have done that, but I didn't.

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SNOBENSON1 5/14/2011 6:54AM

    Good job!

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THETURTLEBEAR 5/13/2011 10:53PM

    Funny how those "ten minutes" add up, eh?

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HEALTHYGRAMMY49 5/13/2011 10:02PM

    Great Job...Cuddos to you...don't stop, do it again tomorrow!
emoticon BevBear Teddy Bear Team

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CERIUSLY 5/13/2011 9:48PM

    emoticon and I just read an e mail where yuore telling me you're doing another 25 for the team!
Fantastic Fur Fluffing emoticon

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LOPEYP 5/13/2011 8:40PM

    emoticon

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KNITTABLES 5/13/2011 7:32PM

    What a great day, glad you got to relax some and get in a killer workout. emoticon

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 5/13/2011 7:00PM

    WooHoo! Isn't funny how once we get started it's harder to quit. Great job on keeping your streak going.

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1THING 5/13/2011 6:52PM

    keep it up!

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Still Trying

Thursday, May 12, 2011

I am still working on that habit of don't stress over the things you can't change. So, my mother leaves messages, I delete them. We have completely resigned ourselves that we are not going to the wedding. That's fine. We are trying to make our family be the family I did not have. Now, my sisters and brother obviously want nothing to do with me so why does my one sister who I have not spoken to in probably 20+ years call me?

Last night I get a call from her which, of course, I don't answer. Then I get a call from my mother which I didn't answer. Then I decided I had had it. I called my mother and my niece answers. I will not say I was nice to her. I just told her to put my mother on the phone. I made it very clear to my mother that I had nothing to say to her especially after the way she disrespected my husband and she had no reason to call me. She had all she needed in Karen and her kids. She said that they were helping her because her phones weren't working. I told her it wasn't my problem my phones haven't worked since Sunday. I again made it clear that there was no reason for her to call me and hung up.

I really haven't missed my phones. I only have a land line for the fax machine. I use my cell phone for everything. So, here I am sitting waiting for AT&T. They have tried to call me to confirm which I know because I see it on my U-Verse when the tv is on. But. I can't answer to confirm because the phones don't work. I told them that when I called and I gave them my cell phone number. What don't they get.

I can't get into a long workout because I have no clue when the guy is going to show up or if he will since I haven't confirmed. I got in 29 minutes of Walk it Out before dh brought us a Subway fresh fit sandwich for lunch.

I thank my spark friends for helping me to keep my sanity in my insane world. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SARALEIGHM 5/13/2011 2:58PM

    If you keep ignoring the phone calls from your mother and the rest of the family, eventually they will get it and stop calling. Don't let the ringing phone or messages get to you. They just want a reaction at this point, so don't give them the satisfaction.
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STEPHIEKNITS 5/13/2011 12:51PM

    Hang in there!

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PEEKINGOUT 5/13/2011 1:51AM

    I am so proud of you for not allowing the toxic relationships anymore.
You have your own family now and they are what is most important.

Now dealing with the phone company is another story! I wonder if there is anyone out there who gets good service and has people show up when they are supposed to.

Take care and hopefully your phones will be ok tomorrow.

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EJOY-EVELYN 5/12/2011 11:04PM

    Trying is what it is all about. Every time you feel like doing the wrong thing and you choose to do the right thing you are growing and God is smiling!

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CERIUSLY 5/12/2011 8:53PM

    Sanity? What's that? emoticon Surround yourself with the positive..

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THETURTLEBEAR 5/12/2011 4:00PM

    Some weeks you just want to BE OVER WITH! I have an extremely annoying older sister who decided to move from Michigan to Massachusetts (where my parents and brother's family live) because her life was a disaster. She won't admit that - says she moved back to be near my parents because they're getting more feeble. Instead she drives everyone crazy. And her life is still a disaster. ARGH!

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MISSFORTE 5/12/2011 3:09PM

    your family sounds like mine I am sorry you go through this also! My mother and sisters whole another ball game. I pray one day it works.

Take care of yourself!

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KNITTABLES 5/12/2011 2:41PM

    Hang in there. emoticon

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 5/12/2011 2:38PM

    Good for you sticking to your resolve to cut the toxic people out of your life. I know it is harder because they are "family". Wishing you continued success and hope the phone situation gets straightened out soon.

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KATHI214 5/12/2011 2:27PM

    We all have issues to deal with, and knowing that helps to make it easier! Sometimes even if people are family, when they cross the line you have to take a stand. I would use your energy making your own family that way you want it to be. Life is too short to try to change things that can't be changed. Hang in there!

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KKLENNERT809 5/12/2011 2:24PM

    That's what Sparkfriends are for!

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TARANITUP 5/12/2011 2:24PM

    Sorry to hear your relationship is strained with family... I hope you can all give a little to meet in the middle - life is too short!

Take care..

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Off Routine

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I can't stand it when my routine isn't normal. This week has been really strange and I can't seem to get on track. Normally, I do my workout around 11:00 or 12:00 for an hour or so. I do Leslie Sansone and Walk it Out. The last 3 days have been off. They have been more outside activities so it feels to me, like I am not doing enough.

I just feel out of sorts. Not to mention we are eating out way too much again. Need to stop that again. I haven't been eating bad, but it's way too hard to keep track of sodium when you eat out. The scale right now is showing that.

I was supposed to go to the barn today, but it is supposed to be 80 with Thunderstorms this afternoon when we could go. Further, my husband has my car because his is in the shop. I always feel weird when I don't have a car. My mother is still calling and leaving messages which I have been immediately erasing.

Today, I am going to work on getting back into my workout routine. I am going to eat healthy and, hopefully, at home. I did feel good buying new clothes yesterday that actually looked good. I ended up going into the women's section, but the clothes were the same. I've decided size doesn't mean anything. My friend and I took a petite large and compared it to a petite small. The difference was 1/4 inch wider and longer. Ok...sizing makes no sense anymore.

I am not even going to worry about size. If it looks good, I'll buy it. I am tired of wearing sweats all the time. Off to make some sense of this day and get my head on straight.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SARALEIGHM 5/12/2011 8:08AM

    Clothes that make you feel good are a great boost! And a good motivator. Enjoy them and forget about the sizes. I've been struggling with buying a bathing suit because I don't know what size to get without trying them on and I HATE trying on bathing suits. So I gave up and ordered one from Land's End. I'll return/exchange it if it doesn't fit after trying it on in my own house without the horrible lighting they have in dressing rooms. What's up with that?

You'll get back on track again. You're determined to get this right.
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THETURTLEBEAR 5/11/2011 9:03PM

    Sounds like you are getting prepared to move back in the direction you want to be going! WOO HOO! I know what you mean about doing more outside - it feels more like fun and less like exercise.

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CERIUSLY 5/11/2011 7:18PM

    I decided a long time ago I have to feel good to look good. I agree with you about the sizes. I have to try everything on.
Hugs and prayers! thanks for being a supportive team player! emoticon

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EJOY-EVELYN 5/11/2011 5:35PM

    You're right about the eating out and salt. think they use hidden salt to keep you coming back, so I stay away the day (or two) before weigh-in day. Fortunately I really don't have a sodium problem (other then a momentary moment at the scales), so I find that I often enjoy my salty Asian food after weigh-in. Fun!

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REJ7777 5/11/2011 3:26PM

    Sometimes feeling good about some new clothes that fit well is just the push that we need to get back on track.I hope it works for you!

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DARINGR8LY 5/11/2011 2:31PM

    I feel ya! Just do your best with the available time and resources. This is a journey. Each moment.

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KNITTABLES 5/11/2011 1:57PM

    Sizing is all wrong now so I don't go by sizes any more. I have pants that are a size 2 and pants that are a size 6 and they are the same measurements to a T. So I know the feeling. Just go by how great you look in them and enjoy. cut out he labels when you get home that's what I do. You will get back into your regular routine soon. I know this. I have been ignoring my mom all this week too!. Good luck and emoticon

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 5/11/2011 12:53PM

    WooHoo! I always feel better when I feel I look good. Yeah, sizing is amazing in women's fashion. I have stopped worrying about the size on the label. I wear anything from an 8 to a 12, depending on cut and the manufacturer's sizing scale. LOL!

Getting outdoor activity like walking may not feel like much, but it is probably at least as active as Walk It Out. Good luck getting back to your routines. I know when my car was in the shop it really made me nuts.

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CANDOK1260 5/11/2011 12:13PM

    I don;t drive so understanding not having a car. I agree sizing don;t make sense. Hope you have a good rest of the week,

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LOPEYP 5/11/2011 12:04PM

    Well without a car you can stay in and exercise!
We all have weeks like the one that you are having. Just do the best that you can. This too will pass. emoticon

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 5/11/2011 11:39AM

    I hate not having a car too! I don't get clothing size either.

Have a great day!

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