Friday, May 13, 2011
I didn't want to do it, but I did. I had a nice quiet day. Caught up on all the shows that I had dvr'd, stayed off the computer for the first time in I don't know how long and my phone didn't ring :) That was a first. I didn't even go to the barn just took the quiet time for myself.
Then...it happened. I couldn't help it. I had to exercise . I am in the challenge to do at least 10 minutes every day for 1,000 days. Oh, but I didn't want to. I figured out how to plug my laptop into my tv so I could watch netflix :) But, the exercise. Well, if I can watch netflix, I can put Leslie's Walk Club on my tv too. That was the answer. I did Leslie's thigh workout, well, that was 11 minutes. Hmmm. ... I said 10 minutes. Well, I then did Leslie's ab workout. Ok. 24 minutes not bad. But, now my heart rate is up..
One 3 mile walk won't kill me. So, I turned on Walk it Out in the other room and Leslie's 3 mile walk with the Stretchy band in the other. I finished that 3 miles, but I love doing Leslie's walk in central park only another 14 minutes. I finished my 10 minute workout 95 minutes later. I burned over 550 calories, got almost 10,000 steps and found my beautiful .
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
I can't stand it when my routine isn't normal. This week has been really strange and I can't seem to get on track. Normally, I do my workout around 11:00 or 12:00 for an hour or so. I do Leslie Sansone and Walk it Out. The last 3 days have been off. They have been more outside activities so it feels to me, like I am not doing enough.
I just feel out of sorts. Not to mention we are eating out way too much again. Need to stop that again. I haven't been eating bad, but it's way too hard to keep track of sodium when you eat out. The scale right now is showing that.
I was supposed to go to the barn today, but it is supposed to be 80 with Thunderstorms this afternoon when we could go. Further, my husband has my car because his is in the shop. I always feel weird when I don't have a car. My mother is still calling and leaving messages which I have been immediately erasing.
Today, I am going to work on getting back into my workout routine. I am going to eat healthy and, hopefully, at home. I did feel good buying new clothes yesterday that actually looked good. I ended up going into the women's section, but the clothes were the same. I've decided size doesn't mean anything. My friend and I took a petite large and compared it to a petite small. The difference was 1/4 inch wider and longer. Ok...sizing makes no sense anymore.
I am not even going to worry about size. If it looks good, I'll buy it. I am tired of wearing sweats all the time. Off to make some sense of this day and get my head on straight.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
I am working really hard not to let this crap with my family get to me. I just wish that they would forget I exist. They no longer exist to me. I have moved on.
I have now exercised every day since April 7. I have found that some weeks I workout harder than others. It is kind of like an every other week thing lol. Last week I did really intense workouts this week, they have been a bit less intense, but I have gotten in an hour or more every day. I am working really hard to get in at least 10,000 steps a day.
I am working on getting smarter with my eating. I've even added things I never would have thought of eating like hummus. It's actually good.
Overall, I am trying to be more positive about the things I can not change. What is is and no matter what I do, it isn't going to change it so there is no reason for me to stress about it. That is my number one habit I am trying to achieve: learning not to stress about things that I can not change. That is what I will really focus on this week.
For example, aside from the obvious family stuff, I have a house that is priced right and it just isn't selling. I can't change what the house is and my seller will either listen to me and drop the price, or he won't and will sit with the house, but I can't change who he is and I'm not going to get an ulcer over it. Bad pun...I already have ulcers.
I've got to find a mantra for this to tell myself. Like I have my 10 minute exercise mantra. I've got to find a do not stress mantra. That is what I will work on.
Monday, May 09, 2011
Background.. Two years ago for mother's day we took my mother to a restaurant by us. During that lunch, she got angry at my then 13 year old daughter for teasing her then 15 year old brother and stuck her finger in my daughter's face and called her an a@@hole. My daughter burst into tears and I had to take her home. Last year, again we decided to take mother out for mother's day, and she picked a fight during lunch, but a friend was with us so I made her change places and sit by my mother and I just talked to my husband and my kids.
This year I told my mother that I had to work on mother's day showing houses which I was supposed to do. However, the buyers decided that they didn't like the location of the condo so we didn't go and got the day off. Saturday evening my husband took my son to the store to get some food and then dropped him off at mom's house so he could spend yesterday fishing.
Yesterday was going great. I talked to my mom. She was fine. No issues. She asked if we wanted to go to dinner and I said no. Brian made me eggs benedict and we had a wonderful afternoon. Then, Brian and I decided to give each other mother and father's day gifts. We went to Best Buy and I got a 32" LCD tv for the bedroom and Brian got a 43" plasma tv for the office. All of our tvs were from the early 90's so we decided with 2 years to pay them off, it was doable. We haven't bought anything for ourselves in a long time.
I get back and we are trying to figure out how to hook up the bedroom tv. Never as easy as it looks. I notice my phone is blinking and there is a voice mail from my mother. She was screaming that there is no food in her house and, if we expect Ben to stay there, Brian better come and bring him food. Brian had just taken him to the store the night before. Ben said that there was plenty for him to eat. Then I start getting texts from Ben that my mother is saying how horrible his father is and he doesn't know what it means to be a father etc.
At that point, I exploded and I called her and said, "Not know how to be a parent. If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black." She started yelling that Brian was no good etc. That was it. I told her not to contact me again and she didn't need to worry about Ben as he wouldn't be there anymore. Then, of course, she threw my sister Karen in my face (the one who told everyone that I am an alcoholic) and how wonderful Karen is. I told her I hope she has a great time with her because I am done.
Brian left and went and got Ben. Ben got in the car and told Brian to leave quickly as my mom was coming out. Brian wasn't about to be afraid of her. She gave Brian a note to give to me saying how much she loves me. Literally one sentence. Brian let her have it. He even dropped the "F" bomb which is not my husband. But, he said to her that she had no right to disrespect him to his children and don't bother calling us anymore. I was very proud of him. He keeps taking her crap and doesn't say a word.
Now, he is off seeing the doctor who is the friend of my sister Karen's. He planned to confront him about the issue with him telling my friend that my sister whom I haven't seen in years told everyone I was an alcoholic and they were also betting to see if I would show up at my nephew's wedding (this whole story is back a few quite a few blogs). Brian said he is at the point that he wants nothing at all to do with my family anymore. He was always the one who pushed us to get along and I didn't want anything to do with them.
Once again, mother destroys mother's day. However, she can't take the tv's away from us and she certainly can't destroy the relationship Brian and I have.
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
According to the doctor "friend", now my sister is telling people that I won't come to the wedding because I refuse to buy a dress. The doctor asked my husband if we were going, Brian said no..that's when the doc mentioned the dress. My husband said that a dress has nothing to do with it, it is something between Karen and I that has been going on for a very long time and it should remain between Karen and I and that Brian doesn't want to hear that there are any rumors or anything else being said about it. At that point, the doctor shut up. I said it is time to get a new cardiologist.
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