She Went to Be With My Father

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Mom passed away about an hour or so after I left her Saturday afternoon. She died peacefully and I feel good knowing we had laughs and she died happy.

We are planning a celebration of my mother's life after the funeral. While I feel a great loss, I also understand that my dad gave her 11 years with us. It was time for her to join him again. She is at peace where she deserves to be.

She was everything to me. She gave us everything she had to give. She was special. She was one of a kind. I wish a could be a quarter of the person she was. I feel at least I can close a door on a part of my life that wasn't happy. That was the part that included my sisters and brother. There is no reason to pretend anymore. I can move on with my life.

My friends were incredible. As soon as they heard the news, they were here and the last of them left about 10 minutes ago. I am grateful that mom trusted me enough to listen to me and go join dad.

Mother, I will always love you. I couldn't be the person I am without you. I will go on because you would tell me exactly where to go if I didn't. We are going to celebrate your life in the way you would want us to. G-d I will miss you!



Mother in the red with my sister in law, and my aunt at Ben's graduation party June 9, 2012

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Update

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Spent time with my mother this afternoon after a call from my sister Karen. I know don't fall over. She called to make sure I was ok with all the arrangements she and Mimi had already made for mother. I agreed to them except one. In the Jewish religion, we sit "shiva" after someone passes. My mother never believed in this and I told my sister I wouldn't do it. My plan is to have a party at my house after the funeral the way my mom liked. I am going to have shrimp and bloody mary's. My mother loved coming to my house every summer for our parties. She always brought shrimp and Spicy hot V-8 for bloody mary's.

The doctor told my sister (s) yes apparently they met for an hour this morning with the doctor (Karen called me 2 hours later) that the antibiotics were doing no good. Mom has sepsis and a staff infection and they expected the infection to go into her brain this afternoon.

Well, that didn't happen. I started talking to my mom about how she goofed up our trip to Vegas this summer. We spend a week every summer in July or August in Vegas. One year we went to a restaurant at the Bellagio where I had a $70 lobster pot pie. It was wonderful and mom actually laughed remembering it.

I told mom before I left that it was time to go see dad. He has been waiting for 11 years and she needs to join him. For her sake, I hope she does. I will miss her dearly, but I had some fantastic times with her. Even the nurses were freaking out at the fact that she was laughing with me. I am so grateful for all the time we spent together. I will never have any regrets; jut fantastic memories.

I am thinking of going back tonight, but she is exhausted and I don't know what state she is in. Maybe I will just go with the person who takes care of her and is wonderful. Brian doesn't really want to go so maybe I'll just go with Jenny.

My sister is having my father's rabbi come tomorrow to say final blessings. I know mom is really ticked at him because he did not show up when we were sitting Shiva for my father, but, she won't know that he is there.

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My Mother

Friday, July 13, 2012

Got a call from my Aunt yesterday that mother was back in the hospital. Went there at about 8:30 last night. She had been taken there at 2. She is basically in a coma and her organs are shutting down. The doctor said it would be anywhere from 12-72 hours. We stayed there until about midnight.

Now, of course, I wouldn't have known any of this if it weren't for my aunt. My sister didn't bother to call me. Then I find out this morning that my other sister is in town. She didn't bother to let me know either.

I keep feeling like they kick me in the gut everytime something happens. I really don't want or need to go back to the hospital. I said everything I needed to last night. As I said to the doctor I just wish this was over. If it were my dog, I would have put her out of her misery a month ago.

I make this promise here and now. As soon as my mother's funeral is done, I am going to bury the three of them right along with her. I never knew people could be so dispicable and nasty. I can't guarantee that I will go to the hospital again. That is not my mother lying there.

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Is It Just Me...

Thursday, July 12, 2012

I know that some people may not like what I have to say, but I have to say it somewhere other than to the person who is doing it. I don't know if I mentioned it with everything going on with my mother etc, but a very close friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer about 3 months ago. At first they said it was nothing and not to worry about it as it was benign, but to have the tumor removed to be safe.

After they removed the tumor, they realized it was in fact cancer and that she should have a mastectomy. She agreed and treated the whole thing like a joke. Now, I am Jewish and very superstitious about thing. She even named her cancer after our "wonderful" Wisconsin governor Scott Walker. At the time, there was a recall for Walker on the same day she was going in to have the original tumor removed before she knew it was cancer and she was making jokes on facebook about both Scotties being removed on that day.

After they did the mastectomy, they realized that this was a serious and rare cancer. It is also a very aggressive cancer. So they wanted to do chemo and then they decided they would also need to do radiation. I have talked to her several times and she is not upset in the least. She is still making jokes about it. The thing that is upsetting her the most is that she will not have the cosmetic surgery done by January so she can get back to her "men". Yes, she started online dating and, from what I understand, there was a lot more to it than that. Many of our friends were very upset, but I said it was her life and she is 51 years old and can make her own decisions.

Well, today began her first round of chemo. It began with a check in on Foursquare to the Cancer building of the hospital. Now, she is putting pictures up on facebook of the needles going in and in the middle of the treatment and other pictures that I find really "offensive". I know we all handle things differently, but, seriously, what do you expect someone to say to pictures like that? I keep thinking to myself that she is really more upset than she is letting on, but she is herself.

Sorry, just had to get that out because I really don't want to tell her how sick this is.

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On a Roll

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I have exercised every day this week. I really didn't want to today, but I asked my son if he wanted to do some Wii Tennis with me. From there, we went to Wii Baseball and finally exerbeat. Ended up exercising for 65 minutes and burning 497 calories.

An update on my mother is I am basically staying out of it. My sister Karen is back and has taken over everything. Fine, let her deal. My aunt was having lunch with mom each day and Karen told her not to that mother had to adjust. So Shirley decided to do what Karen said. I think it is ridiculous. My mother's sister should be able to eat with her. But, if Shirley can't stand up to Karen that is Shirley's issue.

I'm just minding my own business doing my work. I know there are a ton of people who truly "care" about my mom who are raising holy h*ll and making sure everything is getting done.

We wrote a great offer which was countered and my buyers rejected the counter. I couldn't blame them. The house isn't worth what the seller's want. We will find another house. I received 3 more leads today that look "real"...not just window shoppers. I know all of these people will come together at one time. I am just working on staying positive :)

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