2nd Epidural

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

This one hurt a bit more than the last. He went higher in the neck as he thought, after taking all the pictures, that that was where the main problem was coming from that was hurting my back so much. He thought if we could alleve the pain there, it would stop radiating into my back. He said we may need to do one more round.

The problem with this part of the neck is it is harder to get to. I just kept thinking to myself, "Please don't miss." They kept telling me I was doing really good and I was thinking that I was more concerned that the doctor was doing really good. I couldn't understand how someone couldn't do really good. Like anyone would move when someone is sticking a needle into your spine. Apparently, it does happen. I don't move a muscle as I just want it over.

So far so good. The pain is better than it was when I went in. That was better than it was when I went the first time. He said that it could be a three step process. To be pain free, I may have to go once more.

Right now, I have full range of motion of my neck. My back is still sore, but not like it was. I am planning to ride on Friday so we will see what happens then. Keeping fingers crossed that this works

The scale went down again today. I am so close to the 160's. Just half a pound away. I've been eating a lot of fish and turkey. For exercise, I have been getting in a lot of walks with young dog. These are not normal walks. This are calorie burning walks especially the training part. Hoping to get to those 160's on Friday when I weigh in.

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Updates

Monday, May 20, 2013

Things have been pretty good. Sales are steady. Just got another accepted offer so I have 5 closings coming up. I am grateful it is not as crazy as it was with showings every night. This is just kind of slow and steady. I also re-listed a condo I had listed last fall.

The dog has been keeping me busy. She is a great workout in and of herself. We go for long walks and she never tires. The good thing is that she passes out when we get home and she's quiet. Sydney, the older dog, is still hanging in. The stairs are becoming a big problem for her, but we help her. She hung out with me at a neighbor's house Saturday night. So, she gets her time too.

Haven't been able to get back out to the barn. Saturday I had showings all day and yesterday was just too hot. The bugs were really bad.

Tomorrow is epidural #2. Actually, I am doing well from #1. I think it is a combination of the epidural and I read the bottle of Celebrex and realized that I am supposed to stay on it. Duh. I doesn't realize that refillable until October of 2013 meant I was supposed to keep taking it. It really helps a lot and it doesn't seem to have affect the Colitis at all. I'm hoping the 2nd epidural will leave me pain free. I wouldn't know what to do.

My son just dropped off two job applications so I am hoping he gets one of them. I still do not like his current job coach. She is extremely nice just not tough enough for the job she has. I listened to his DVR counselor and gave her the 60 days and we have accomplished nothing. Now, I get to change to the job coach that my aunt knows.

Things are pretty good. Nothing earth shattering going on which, for me, is a good thing :)

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My Stars Must Be Misaligned

Friday, May 17, 2013

I don't know what I did to upset someone, but it seems like nothing is going right. We all know about my aunt's funeral that I didn't know about. Of course, facing a second epidural doesn't thrill me, but if the Celebrex helps, maybe the 2nd epidural will.

Yesterday, I decided to go and ride. My back has been better the last couple of days and I have a really busy weekend so I decided it was beautiful out and a great day to spend time in the saddle. The barn didn't go so good. I walked in and noticed something was wrong with JC. He wasn't eating. With JC, that is a huge red flag. He usually has everything gone within 20 minutes. He was colicking again. I walked him for 50 minutes which was pretty good exercise in dirt with a horse. At least this time, we didn't have to call the vet. All he needed was a mouthful of medicine and, within 30 minutes , his eyes were bright again and he was himself. He wasn't too thrilled to see me leave with his carrots.

I also need to mention that when I arrived, I saw an Illinois license plate. I knew it was my sister. She was in for my aunt's funeral which no one told me about. Mimi has two horses retired where JC is. My husband wanted to turn around, but I said absolutely not. I am not going to let her run me away. I didn't do anything to them. I walked in and said hi to the farrier who was there. I noticed one of the owners was in the barn which is unusual at that time of the day, but her daughter, who usually runs it, is off until Tuesday so Carrie worries. She was talking to my sister.

I noticed JC wasn't right and called Carrie over. I left to walk JC. My husband went back to his stall to get my phone and I noticed my sister talking to him. I couldn't believe after everything she had the gall to speak to him or him to her. He told me that she just said, "My horse colicks all the time." I need to remember how narcissistic Mimi is. Whatever happens to you or one of your pets, she has had it ten times worse.

All I kept thinking to myself is what a gutless human being. She let my brother do all the speaking and doesn't even have the guts to face me. I was willing her to come in the ring. The only thing she did was shout out asking if I wanted her to walk JC. Excuse me. Really! Are you f'ing kidding me. You can't speak to me in close to a year, you can't call me when our aunt passes away, you let our brother come to my house demanding everything that is my mother's and all you can ask me is if I want you to walk JC? Huh? What planet does she live on. I said no and kept walking.

I am proud of myself however. I didn't get angry or stressed. Normally, in a situation like this, I would find myself shaking, but I didn't. I just didn't care. She chose to be nothing in my life and she is nothing in my life.

I am sorry. I am not a hypocrite. I don't play games. I could not go through all I have been through with her and then act like we are best buds. NO not in this lifetime. She made her choices and she can live with them!

Well, maybe I have had my three fer. With JC alone, 2 colicks and an abscess, we should be done.

Things have to get better.

I will throw in a positive. I did get relist of a property I had last night and the dogs are doing great together!

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My Son is at it Again

Thursday, May 16, 2013

I think the last time I wrote about him, I wrote that I was so proud that my son was working and getting all these jobs. Well, I found out that he is helping this guy out, but he isn't getting paid. He is just using our car to schlep the guy around.

When I called him on it, he got in my face telling me what he was and wasn't going to do. I told him if he couldn't follow the rules here, he could go live with that guy. They can be bums together. We pay for everything for my son and he has the nerve to look us in the faces and lie? Believe me, I don't deal with that well.

His job coach has really been working to find him a job. She sends in his applications and resume for him. Of course, as has always been his wont, he does nothing. He does go once or twice a week and work at my friend's house, but that is definitely not enough to support himself.

The other thing I find weird is why this 50 year old guy wants to hang around a 19 year old. Speaking to him, he seems to have a lot of the same mentality as my son, but I do believe he is taking advantage of Ben. Ben spent all day helping him fix a bathroom and now Ben says he will get paid on the 3rd. Yeah when the guy gets his disability check. I'm really not liking this. I especially don't like being lied to!

If it is not one thing, it is another.

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Decisions...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Ugh! I hate when things happen that involve my family who don't speak to me. Last night, I got a call from the one aunt who I am still close to. She is my mother's sister. She wanted to let me know that my sister had called my cousin to tell her that my aunt passed away. The aunt who passed away is my dad's sister. I haven't seen her for about 7 years. I saw her at my mother's funeral, but she said nothing to me. I talked to her twice since my mother passed away, but she more or less blew me off. Her kids never invited us to anything they have had as a family. My cousin didn't even invite me to her wedding. She invited my mother and my sisters and brother, but not me or my husband.

I know my Aunt expects me to go to the funeral, but I just have no desire to. I felt nothing when I heard she died. I feel nothing for any of them. The only thing that bothers me is how things will "look" to others. For all anybody knows, I don't even know about this. If Shirley hadn't called, I wouldn't have a clue. None of my cousins or my siblings called. I guess they really do what me out of the family.

I can't be a hypocrite. None of these people mean anything to me. They have made it clear over the years that I mean nothing to them either so I have to just stop stressing about it. It bothered me a lot in my aunt's obituary none of her siblings were mentioned. Not my dad or my other aunts. I think that is bad form.

Oh well...once again it proves you can't pick your family only your friends.

On another note, I did take Celebrex for my back and it really helped. My UC doc said I can take it with the UC. I think you just need to break the pain cycle. I heard back from the epidural doc and I am going for the second one on Tuesday. He thinks also that my back is just radiating pain from my neck. I really hope the second one works. The first one really helped my neck and shoulders. I guess the medication didn't go far enough down for my back.

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