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Karma..got to love it!

Sunday, July 20, 2014

This has been one busy weekend. Wrote an offer Friday night. Had showings and a listing appointment yesterday. Listed the house. Buyers from yesterday decided to write an offer on one of the properties we saw. Today, I get to start with another new buyer. And people say real estate is dead in the Summer. This is only happening because I booked the cruise HA!

In either case, I decided to go back to the horse show yesterday night. I wanted to see my sister's mare who is JC's half sister. I was really curious as to what she looked like. While I was waiting for the class, I went to talk to some people I knew. As I walked over, I saw my sister sitting across from my former trainer. I didn't really care as the person I was looking to talk to was sitting below my former trainer.

I walked down to talked to Jenny and my sister bolted. Never saw her again including in the ring. She never showed up. I think the mare threw a shoe and they couldn't get it back on so she couldn't show. So sad. Too bad. That's what you get for being a witch!

I am just glad I got it over with and she now realizes that I will do what I want regardless of her. She does not own the horse shows. Further, I do not need her to be a part of them.

I had a nice evening. Left and came home early. I think I am about horse showed out for a while :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LYNCHD05 7/22/2014 8:13AM

    That is so sad that you have these problems with your sister but sometimes that is just the way it is. It is her loss and obviously she deserves it. Good for you for being so strong.

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 7/21/2014 1:21PM

    I am so glad you are reclaiming your power and your voice. I am glad you are no longer letting someone else keep you from something you love. Congrats! I am so proud of you. Hope you continue to have fun!

Enjoy your cruise!

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FLORIDASUN 7/21/2014 9:58AM

    GOOD for you...you just can't let people intimidate you...I don't care if they are family or not. I'm SO dreading the trip back home to Iowa this summer. It's hard to be around people that you know really have such a hatred for you. I'm like...hey...it's YOUR loss and it's just a shame that I have given up so much of my life caring what the h...e....double toothpicks you think anyhow!

I'll make my token appearances but I won't be bullied into spending one minute of time with the dreaded whiney, complaining, MIL...and the hateful brute of a SIL that lives with her.

Better things to do with my life...the DH will have to fly solo a lot more than he's used to on this trip. I'm abandoning my co-pilot role! emoticon It's just NOT worth the stress. emoticon

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SVELTEWARRIOR 7/20/2014 11:18PM

    Good for you!!!!!!!!

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JUSTME29 7/20/2014 8:44PM

    I'm so glad you went and didn't let her presence throw you.

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CAPECODBABE 7/20/2014 1:13PM

    Glad you had a nice time

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GARDENCHRIS 7/20/2014 11:46AM

    good for you!

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TXGRANDMA 7/20/2014 10:43AM

    Good for you, Nina! You are doing great with the Real Estate! Two offers and a new listing, and new buyers today? Fantastic!

Too bad you didn't get to see the mare, happy your sister's actions are of no concern to you! She is probably afraid you will "Tell her off" in public! emoticon

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REGINAROLLINS 7/20/2014 10:30AM

  Sad-but sounds like my family(I am the witch). We all have to dust our selves off every now and again. Anyhooooo have a great day:))))

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Horse Show Details

Friday, July 18, 2014

We decided to go to the show last night. It was nice. I ran into my former trainer and it was wonderful to see her. Ran into a lot of people I knew from that barn. Saw people from my new barn.

I ran into a lot of other people that I hadn't seen in a long time. Many started by commenting on my sister's horses. I was very honest and said that they would be better off telling her in person as I haven't seen the horses nor have I seen my sister in 2 years. I think some were rather startled. One person, who I have known for forever, I told the story to and she said, "yep when it comes to material things, families are awful."

I figured I wasn't going to hide anything. This is the road my sister chose. We all have to stand by our choices. I wasn't going to feed a load of garbage to anyone either letting them believe we have this great relationship that isn't there.

I saw my sister and she saw me and her niece and nephew. She turned her nose in the air and pretended we weren't there. Her loss not ours. I watched her show a mare she has had since before I quit showing. She was 2/2. She deserved it. The mare didn't look good.

Yesterday was the day we buried my mother 2 years ago. I think it was fitting to be where my mother loved to be and that is a horse show. Honestly, I had no feelings toward my sister one way or another. She was just someone in the crowd.

Last night showed me that I have moved on with my life and have no need for anyone other than my friends, my husband and my kids. Anyone who doesn't want anything to do with us, that is their choice and their loss, but no one should expect me to cover them with decisions they made. The horse world is a very small place and, generally, the truth comes out and goes around. I hope Mimi is happy with her decision and being such a small person as I'm sure everyone will soon know the choice she made. They will also know they she didn't have the guts to ever speak to me herself. She sent my brother to my house.

I am moving on with what I want to do without any regard for what she is doing. If she is at a horse show, so be it. There are so many other people who are more important than she is. She is just one very low person in a very big world :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PCOH051610 7/20/2014 5:49PM

    Nina,

What you wrote is so true! I'm in a similar situation with my first cousin who used to be my best friend. I used to feel so bad about our relationship but now I've realized she will never let me be me. Its a liberating feeling to break free!

You've come along way and I'm very proud of you!

emoticon

Susan

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SVELTEWARRIOR 7/18/2014 11:08PM

    I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!! Good for you for being comfortable with your decision and moving on.

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TXGRANDMA 7/18/2014 7:33PM

    Nina! So proud of you and happy that you have finally reached this point, where your sister's mean attitude can no longer get to you! You are right, it is her loss and my bet is that one of these days she will come crawling back. It is OK, though, if she doesn't, you don't need her in your life.

I absolutely loved that you were able to go to the show and enjoy yourself and see all of your old friends, and be transparent with them about your sister. Your friend was right, material things make a HUGE difference to some people. I have seen so many family fights erupt over that when parent's pass away. Good for you for rising above all of that.
I think it was appropriate too, that you went to the show on your mother's 2 year date of being buried. She is smiling down on you! emoticon

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SIEGRID 7/18/2014 7:08PM

    Good for you!!! I am so glad that you finally went and except for your sister, it seems to have gone quite well. That old expression...you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends is so true. And like you said, it's her loss, not yours
My sympathies for you and your family on this anniversary.
Believe it or not I have both my parents downstairs. We were suppose to go as a family to this place really far up north and release the ashes, but somehow we've never managed to do it. One day.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LYNCHD05 7/18/2014 5:22PM

    I would suspect it was very hard for you to get to this point. Sometimes there is no understanding people and so they have to live with the consequences of their choices. Good for you with being comfortable with your decisions. I guess that is maturity......
I am proud of you!!!

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 7/18/2014 4:25PM

    Congratulations! I am so proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone and finding a new one. You are right, her attitude is hers and she needs to own it. Your attitude is yours and you own that as well. I am glad you went and especially glad that you had a good time.

Move forward having fun!

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Working On Getting my Spark back

Thursday, July 17, 2014

I read a blog by spark guy a couple of days ago where he talks about his 10 minute a day exercise streak. That reminded me of my mantra which I forgot. All it takes is 10 minutes a day. I can do 10 minutes a day. I decided to start working on that again.

Today I wasn't going to do anything. We have some horrible people living next to us. They are renters and just don't care about what they do. They yell and scream using fowl language all night. I've called the police in the past and had to call again this morning as it sounded like they were beating each other and I know there is a young child there. I also called the person that owns the property. He is totally useless.

I'm not going to give up on getting rid of them. They are killing our block which is coming back. Many people are putting on new roofs and building new garages (including us), but why should we put this money into our houses if people like this are just going to hurt the worth of our houses. I even called some special police thingy they have to help get rid of nuisance renters. I pay taxes to live here. I have a lot invested in this house and I will do whatever it takes to keep our neighborhood safe.

Aside from that, I have been in a rather sour mood today. My whole barn is at a horse show which takes place about 10 minutes from me. People from the barn have asked if I was going to come and watch them show. As much as I thought I wanted to get back into the shows again, I'm not really sure. One thing that is probably bugging me is the fact that my sister will be showing 3 horses there and I'm not really sure I want to see her. My other issue is that so many people I used to talk to regularly when I was showing horses just disappeared when I stopped. They no longer talked to me on facebook or called or anything else. I'm not 100% sure I want to get back in with people like that again. I have a life without the shows that I am enjoying.

I really enjoyed going out to the barn yesterday and bringing JC in from the field. No one else was in so I got to clean him up, get him ready, ride him and clean him up again and turn him back out into the field. I did let him eat some "lunch". At first, I was freaked out because when I opened the door to get him from the field, he started screaming. I thought he was totally upset with being out there. After a bit, I realized he saw me and figured food. After I turned him back out, he was completely content being out there. I must admit I had a melt down last night wondering if the person who owns the barn remembered to bring him in. I haven't heard great things about her. But, she did call me after I texted her and all was fine.

Ok so I digress...back to the 10 minutes a day. Today, like I said, I didn't feel like doing anything. My daughter and I were watching a Hell's Kitchen marathon and I had been a bum all morning. I just couldn't stand sitting anymore. I decided to start walking during the commercials. Spark guy said the 10 minutes could be broken up throughout the day. Then I continued walking during the first segment after the commercials. Then I decided that I needed more steps. When the show was over, I decided to find my rainbow on Walk it Out.

All told, I did 60 minutes of activity. I have to remember that not every day has to be an all out marathon on the treadmill or the horse. Any exercise or movement works and all it takes is just 10 minutes emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILSONWR 7/18/2014 8:59AM

    You are definitely going through a rough period. Good for you trying to get the exercise in again. I do agree with some of the others - go to the show and see what happens. You might be surprised. Some people may think that you may have wanted to end the socializing when you quit doing the shows, and just wanted to give you some space. Once you go, you'll have a much better idea. Good luck and keep at it! Take care.

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GAILSMAILS 7/17/2014 10:51PM

    You've had a rough week. Good for you getting up and moving!
emoticon

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SVELTEWARRIOR 7/17/2014 9:15PM

    Good for you on getting your 60 minutes in today. As for showing.....if you enjoy showing do it and Sister and other people be damned


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LOPEYP 7/17/2014 7:39PM

    Today's almost over. I hope tomorrow's a better one for you.

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 7/17/2014 7:09PM

    Congrats on getting moving today. I know how hard it is to overcome that inertia.

As for showing? That is totally up to you. My suggestion is to go to the show. Hang out with your barn-mates. This can help you know if you really *want* to show again or just think you *should* want to show again. There will always be those who only associate with you when you share their interests. There are probably other competitors who aren't like that and you might make new friends. There is no reason you have to associate with your sister while there. You know what classes she's showing in and therefore her schedule. If you do run into her wish her good luck and then make an excuse to be elsewhere. This is something you will face if you decide to show again.

I have seen many positive changes in your attitude with JC now that you are thinking of showing again. He has become more than a sometime hobby. You are more committed to him and his care and it shows in your blogs. But this is something only you can decide. So think about it and make your choice. If it's the wrong one you can always change your mind later.

**HUGS**
Cyndi

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JUSTME29 7/17/2014 5:13PM

    You don't need to get back in with the same people to show horses. i realize that you do need to be polite to everyone there, but there is no need to get sucked into the same group you were with before. You know new people now, people from your current barn, and they are asking for your support. This is important, even if you have to make excuses for today's show. Your sister will be there, but by avoiding events she will be at you are giving her power over you. You've worked so hard to take back that power, and by giving up something you want to avoid her you are handing it right back to her. Again, you'll have to be polite no matter how she acts, but there is no reason to carry that contact away from the show.

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SIEGRID 7/17/2014 5:06PM

    Ooof rough day!!
I know you work in real estate, so my question is, an renters really lower your real estate value? And if so, wouldn't they be lowering the value of the house they rent too? And the owner doesn't care?
I do not understand the people you use to compete with, how they could just stop talking with you. When we stopped competing, most didn't believe we could just stop, and yes this was before the internet, so we did lose contact with most of them. But we've been welcomed back with open arms and people bugging us to compete again, although that's not going to happen, so, I cannot understand what their problem could possibly be, including your sister. When you get down to it, it's just competition, and to break family ties just because you stopped.....
Maybe you should go just to see what happens, perhaps they will be happy to see you.....
I am glad that you are finding your Spark again!!! I know you can do this, despite everything else, and we will support you!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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This is just weird

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Two years ago yesterday my mom passed away. My mother was everything to me. We did so much together in my life from raising horses to going out to dinner together every week to just sitting together. There was nothing about me my mother didn't know.

The day my mother died, I stopped at a supercuts and bought some shampoo. I bought a really big bottle because it was on sale. I never really used it because I am not a huge Paul Mitchell fan. Last night, I decided to get rid of the shampoo. I poured the entire thing down the drain.

My daughter reminded me today that my mom passed away 2 years ago yesterday. She then asked me for the shampoo. It is the strangest thing that I sat with that shampoo for 2 years and, on the anniversary of my mother's death, I took a late night shower and poured the entire thing down the drain. I remember thinking about her and the day she died when I did it. I remember telling her it was time to rejoin my father. She did about 30 minutes after I left.

There has still been no stoning ceremony for her. They say it is because the ground is not solid and the headstone is falling over. I am tired of waiting for my siblings to do something. I will call the cemetery myself.

I miss her everyday. RIP mom. I love you!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIEGRID 7/17/2014 5:13PM

    emoticon

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SVELTEWARRIOR 7/16/2014 10:31PM

    emoticon

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TXGRANDMA 7/16/2014 10:23PM

    Oh, Nina..........I feel your pain! I was the same way with my mother, we were very close, too. She was in Florida when she passed away, alone with my Dad. I saw her in January that year, she died April 2 after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the end of February. ((((HUGS)))) ( I couldn't get the emoticons to come up, that has been happening a lot tonight)

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 7/16/2014 12:37PM

    **HUGS**
I am lucky to still have both my parents living (and nearby). It sounds like you had a really special relationship with a special woman.

I agree that letting go of the shampoo (you don't use) because of it's connection with your mom is showing you are moving forward with life.
**HUGS**

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FLORIDASUN 7/16/2014 9:08AM

    How wonderful that you had such a special relationship with your mother. This explains why you and your sister are at odds...I'm sure she was very jealous of the relationship your and your mother had together. The shampoo thing is strange...maybe it's a symbol that you are now ready to let go of something in your past that has held you back and you are on your way to a new start...one that your mother is very proud of.

Hugs to you my friend...my thing with the owls and Josh was just as random...things come to us in subtle ways...we just need to pay attention to them. emoticon

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GLORY63 7/16/2014 6:51AM

    emoticon

It has been a little over 9 years since my mother died. There are those days where I still start to pick up the phone to call before I remember.

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EJOY-EVELYN 7/15/2014 9:28PM

    Your love is great . May your kids also remember the great and positive influences their parents had (and now still have) in their lives. You set a great example of live and sharing beautiful memories.

Comment edited on: 7/15/2014 9:29:40 PM

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Forms Etc

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Thank you for all the comments on my blog yesterday. Actually, my son decided to fill it out himself. It was basically asking the same question 10 different ways. He got it. His handwriting is awful, but he thought it better that they see him for who he is and they would realize why he has trouble getting a job.

As far as the attorney, there are attorneys who will do work with SSI on a contingency basis. He hasn't been denied which is good. Usually, you are denied with your first application. His is still active. When and if we need an attorney we will get one. In the meantime, he got the form finished. Whether they can read it or not is their problem.

Thank you all for all the great advice!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SVELTEWARRIOR 7/16/2014 10:28PM

    I am glad your DS got the forms filled out. it is a shame that so many hoops have to be jumped through.

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GAILSMAILS 7/16/2014 10:08PM

    Great! Glad to hear that he was able to complete those stinking government forms.
Thanks for the update!

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FLORIDASUN 7/16/2014 9:13AM

    I'm glad he filled the form out himself. I'm sure they can see from that that he needs the help he so richly deserves! Good luck...I'll be praying for a positive outcome! emoticon

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TXGRANDMA 7/15/2014 8:43PM

    Glad he did it himself. That was a good decision! Not only the words, but the writing will bear testament to his cause! emoticon

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JUSTME29 7/15/2014 6:41PM

    I'm so glad he got through it.

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 7/15/2014 4:56PM

    **HUGS**
Glad he got it done, and on his own too. Hoping this all goes smoothly for you.

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SIEGRID 7/15/2014 3:50PM

    Bureaucracy!!!! The same questions asked over and over in different fashions!!!! Good for him filling it out himself!!!! and I agree, if they can't read it, it's their problem!!!

emoticon to all of you!!!

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