Friday, February 15, 2013
Wow another week gone and I finally ate everything I was supposed to and didn't go over my calories for the day! I'm so proud of myself!!! Woo Hoo me!
Now on to more important things. I have been eating small amount 6-8 times a day all week. No I didn't make my caloric intake, but I did learn something which means more to me that making my nutrition goal. I found out that when I only do breakfast a small snack lunch and then wait 6 - 8 hours for my next meal I get super cranky and start snapping at everyone around me. I had to apologize to my whole family for the way I treated them. I didn't realize I was doing this until after I had eaten something and was actually level headed enough to focus on what I had been doing.
What you all probably don't know is that my husband is bi-polar so I deal with major fluctuations every day of my life and have for 15 years now. Today I finally was able to see what he meant when he tried to explain his disease to me.
So just as he takes his medication every day I now know that I must continue to fuel my body with healthy foods to keep my mood level and not turn into some stereotypical psychotic woman.
For those of you out there that find your moods swing when you are trying to live a healthy lifestyle it might be just as simple as eating more healthy little meals during the day.
I'm thrilled with the lesson I learned today. I hope you all have found things that will keep you sparking every day!!!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Now typing this for the second time (horrible when you hit the wrong button on the keyboard and it deletes everything).
I am a list maker. I have lists for Things To Do, both at home and at work, I have grocery lists, I have lists for what I'm packing when traveling..... I love lists!!
I joined SparkCoach last week and have been tracking, reading, watching, and moving since. Great job Larria! I usually don't get through, but I spent the money this time and I refuse to waste the money. Today I signed in and the coaching video was regarding setting S.M.A.R.T. goals. I started to have a conversation with myself at that point. Imagine the good and evil beings sitting on your shoulders.
One Self: You do that every day by doing your lists
Second Self: You don't every complete those items on your list however
Ah Ha Moment
I pulled all of my lists (yes I'm strange and I file my Things To Do (TTD) lists by month) and sure enough I completed everything else even if it took me a year, but I just kept writing my weight loss goals and not touching them.
Here I was sitting thinking of how I was sabatoging myself. I had to figure out why I didn't work on those goals. Back to my conversation with myself:
One Self: Why aren't you meeting your weight loss goals? Why are you ignoring them?
Second Self: Can't believe you didn't figure this out sooner, it's because you use the weight thing in each of your goals.
AhHa Moment! - Could it be that making my goals just about pounds was holding me back? So how do I fix this. By making S.M.A.R.T. Goals without using weight. Before I started this mental journey my goal was:
I will lose 150 pounds over the next 18 months by tracking my food, movement, water, and following my spark program.
Okay so there were so many things wrong with that. Thank you SparkCoach for making me see where I was hurting myself. Who starts with a goal so large you can't see any type of quick gratification to keep you motivated? Me of course, but I have to change that. The amount and the time frame where just unrealistic. After having my ah ha moment I also made my goal all about weight and that is a big trigger for me to avoid it so that had to be changed as well.
Now my goal is as follows: I will work hard over the next week to track my food, water, and activity every day. I will check in with my SparkCoach daily and track my sleep and mental feelings daily. I will journal how I feel and if I feel any healtheir. I will track my energy levels.
So instead of one goal it is a one week goal with lots of little goals inside it. All specific, but nothing that will sabatage me. All of them can be accomplished just by signing into SparkPeople every day.
I can't fail right? Well the other self says: Anything is possible.
My other self is right, but I've finally created something I can truly check off my list every day. Something that fits into my daily life without taking a huge chunk of time.
I'll keep you posted on how it goes, I truly believe this goal is attainable and I'm off to get it done.
Everyone out there keep Sparking and set yourself some S.M.A.R.T. Goals!
Monday, May 14, 2012
So I've been gone for what seems like forever, then came back for a moment thinking I would be all gung ho and with it, but just slid right down the "this takes to much effort" pole. I'm back again and WOW have the past week been a doozy for me. I pretty much already think I'm insane, but I just about ordered my own custom made straight jacket. Who knew that one lie (doesn't really matter that it was huge) could completely derail my existance. I guess a back story is necessary. When I was a young girl my father hurt himself and could not take care of me while my mother was working. My cousin, the wonderful soul she is, volunteered to be my babysitter. Up to this point my life was perfect. it was filled with love, family, and laughter. I spend my weekends with my family and enjoying life to the fullest. I was 6 or 7 at the time (the period is sorta fuzzy in my mind) and one day my cousin left and I didn't see that part of my family again until 5/5/12. Almost 30 years of missing a huge chuck of my life. I was never told why but I overheard adults talking as I was growing up. So I sat down with my cousins after all this time and found out that my father was a sexual predator. He hurt my cousin. My families way of dealing with it was to lie. Tell me my father didn't do it. Not expalin why my family had disappeared. It was a different time then and he was sentenced to 1 year of nights and weekends in prison (I though he was working the graveyard shift) and 8 counseling sessions. To my knowledge he never did it again. Both of my parents have been gone now for at least 10 years so I don't have them to ask about anything again. I'm finding though that I don't really know who I am. As stated before one lie and my overall belief in my values and who I am is in question.
After biting my nails, eating everything in my refrigerator and everything at the local grocery store, sleeping when I wasn't eating, and ignoring my children and husband, as well as starting to fail at my job: I made a decision! I am the only person who can decide who I am. It is not the things that happen to me during my life but how I use those things which define me. As of right now I have the perfect opportunity to make myself exactly who I want to be with no holds barred. I don't have to look at the restrictions put on me from the past. I can be the person I want to be with my own morals, goals, and I can set my own path in this life.
So pick up your glass and toast with me to the new Larria. Wholly improved and on the road to victory!
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