Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Yeah, I kinda fell off the Sparkpeople Earth last fall. Frankenstorm Sandy left us out of power and heat for a week, as it did my elderly parents, who refused to leave their house even as mom was having a BAD reaction to an experimental drug. Finally, wearing all their clothes, they moved into the respite suite at a local Assisted Living facility which Mom and I had toured.
The director had offered the suite when she knew their power and heatless living conditions.
The good news is they've never gone back. Now they are actually moved into their own suite, with their things, furniture, etc, and neither of them misses maintaining a home. Guess who gets to do that and get it ready to sell, estate sale, etc?
The day I took them over will live in infamy. My mentally ill sister actually physically assaulted me in their home out of anger at the fact that she will not be moving into it. I made a police report and haven't seen or spoken to her since. Had to ask my mother whether sister had ever struck her. Chilling answer: "Not yet."
I am so done with her. Best Christmas in the last seven years, not smiling blandly through a meal waiting for her emotional kamikaze attacks. Didn't realize how much DH and DD loathed those "family" holidays.
It's an ill wind that doesn't blow some good.
Friday, October 05, 2012
Visiting dh's parents while attending a knitting conference in NH. So far no emergency calls from home.
Tuesday, October 02, 2012
Yikes. Haven't truly fallen off the Spark wagon, but not my best work. Nothing to do but pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again...(quick, which musical?)
Mom is continuing to improve, while Dad is continuing to decline. Mom got sis and the cats out by Aug. 19 and realized that the price of staying in their home is having my sister move in if Mom should have any other hospitalization. Should she pass first, I'll never get my sister out of the house again, and she will fill it up with her hoarding just as she has filled the condo, all while ostensibly being the generous selfless martyr taking care of Dad.
Mom has decided the house is a prison, not a sanctuary, and that if her stated goal (of the last 30 years) is "not to be a burden," setting me up for that nightmare scenario is a burden she hadn't considered. So, we have taken a tour of the Taj Mahal of assisted living facilities, right at the end of my street, and plan to see at least a couple more.
Spend all the money, I say. Sell the house and spend that money too. The less left when they're gone, the less ugly the estate settling will be.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Mom is stronger every day, gaining weight and flexibility. Visiting nurse told sis that Mom and Dad could be left alone--no constant babysitting needed. Wonder how long it will take my mom to send her and the cats back to the condo?
Mom is also willing to say that Dad might not be able to stay at home until the end. That's a huge step.
Just keeping it going, as best I can.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Well, since my last post....
Left on a college/conservatory/concert/visit in-laws road trip with DH, DD and DD's BF. LOT of driving, but good decision-making information for the upcoming Life After High School Extravaganza. While with in-laws in NH, sister calls to tell me mom is in hospital due to bad reaction to barium swallow for small intestine series. Mom has Crohn's disease. Dad has Alzheimer's and cannot be left alone. Mom dehydrated, below 90 lbs in weight--but exact cause unknown. Get home, see Mom in hospital, take over finances through my POA. Sis in meantime has moved herself and 3 cats into parents' home to look after Dad, complaining that she needs WiFi access and telling me I have to put her on my Share Everything Plan or get internet access in my parents' house. They don't own or use computers.
Mom actually improving, will probably come home, so sis could maybe hold off, because, really, not a crisis. She is unemployed, on SSI disability and pretty sure that my parents owe her a living at age 56. Living, with cats, in a condo my mom bought b/c when she moved back from CA b/c she was homeless, parents couldn't stand living with her. Oh, but she has a horse. Can't afford a smartphone data plan on her own dime, but has a horse.
Can I just run away now?
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