Monday, February 11, 2013
Sometimes I wonder about all the things going on in the world today and I think, "Will this ever end?" I know God has it covered, but our world, and our nation, has become so different than what I ever expected. I NEVER thought I'd see things I'm seeing today, hear things I hear, whether it be on TV or in a store, doing things I never thought I'd have to do. It's a bit scary, and oh, so tiresome, and dealing with it on a daily basis is so overwhelming.
BUT, I know that God is in control, and if I hang in there, He will hold on to me. So, if it never ends until I'm called home, that's ok. I'll depend on my Savior and everything will be alright.
My path may seem a little bumpy, but my journey is one I will continue with His help.
Monday, April 23, 2012
I can't believe it's been a year since our Laura lost her battle with cancer. A year. Not so long ago and yet it seems a lifetime ago since I've heard her voice or seen her smile. My son and granddaughter have held up very well, and I'm so proud of them, but they have had a rough time. Lonely does not quite express how we all feel. It's only a word, a word that cannot come close to describing the real feelings of loss we have.
Laura gave more than she ever received, and never expected anything in return. She was such a special person and I loved her so very much.
I miss Laura's laugh. It could reach the mountain top.
I miss her smile. It could melt any problem.
I miss her teaching. It touched every child she ever taught.
I miss her gifts. Each one was chosen especially for the person she made it for.
I miss her attitude. It never failed to be positive.
I miss her voice. It always had a lift to it that made your day bright.
I miss her words. They always made sense in a world that has gone a little crazy.
I miss her fun ways. She was never "down" and always made others feel special.
I miss her eyes. Not only beautiful, but they had that sparkle that just made you feel good.
Most of all, I just miss her being on this earth, making it a better place.
Yes, I miss her, and words cannot express how much, but I will see her again, and then everything will be as it is supposed to be once again.
"Thank you, Jesus, for the strength you've given us to get through this year. Touch my children and give them peace today."
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I hate negative comments. They depress you and bring you down. Just once, I would like to hear positive anything. Is that possible with some people? I don't think so. BUT, I refuse to let it get me down.
When I said that I was going to take one day at a time, I meant it. Why? Because that's all I CAN take.....one day at a time. I can't think of tomorrow because it may never come. I can't think of today because it's already passed. I can only think of now, right now. It's the only thing that makes sense and I don't have to go any further.
Boy, does the song "One Day at a Time" ring true to me. That's all I can take.
"My Deliverer is coming, is coming, My Deliverer is standing by,
He will never break His promise, He has written it upon the sky,
My Deliverer is coming, is coming, My Deliverer is here."
----- Rich Mullins
Thursday, September 08, 2011
Before anything changes to "normal", I wanted to say that today has been an awesome day for me. I really don't know what happened, if anything, but absolutely everything has been perfect since I got out of bed.
Maybe it was/is the cool weather (I love the cold); maybe it was that Mother went to day care and actually came home happy AND we had a wonderful conversation on the porch; maybe it was that I got some things in my house cleaned and put away; maybe it was I worked outside; maybe it was that I actually had a nice day with my dog (who we had to put outside because of Mother); maybe it was just that God smiled on my and I ACTUALLY saw it/felt it/breathed it.
I don't know what it was, but I'll take it any day at any time in any situation. I do want to see/feel/breathe it again, so Lord, I'm going to look for it....and YOU each morning when I get up. Even though I go to You and Your Word first thing, sometimes I fear that I leave You and Your Word in the chair. I think You got tired of that, so here I am Lord, use me!!
Praise God, Praise God, Praise God!!! I feel wonderful!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Osiyo nigada (Hello everyone),
I am in trouble. I am depressed. I am feeling sorry for myself. I am on so much medication. I can't control my appetite. I can't control my tears. Sound familiar? It hit me in the face like a two by four!! But things are about to change.
I'm not going to get upset about every little thing that happens anymore. Problems always occur, but I can choose--I MUST choose-- how to react to them. When things go wrong, ask yourself--ask Waya--what good will it do to get upset? What good will it do to get depressed about it? What good will it do to feel sorry for myself? And what good will it do to binge? Now, the tears? They may help. I hear that releases a lot of stress!! ;-)
I'm going to really, I mean REALLY, think about it before I react and then say out loud, "Waya, what good will it do for you, yes, for you, Waya, to get upset?" Nothing good can result from it, that's for sure. Getting upset can only cause me health problems, Do I want to be zapped of all my energy? Do I want high blood pressure? Do I want to be stressed? Do I want to continue having to take a pill to avoid acid reflux? Do I want to go into a deeper depression? NO, NO, NO, NO, and NO!!! And I certainly don't want to gain another pound! So... I'm determined to quit getting upset. At least I can react differently, in a more positive way that will help not only me but also others that may--or may not-- be involved.
I've forgotten who I am. I've forgotten how to laugh. I've forgotten how to enjoy anything. I've forgotten how to accept change. No one else made me do that. I did it myself, letting others take control of my life while I sat idly by, getting UPSET about it. Now that I've remembered, "Hey, Waya, you still exist.", I'm ready to take back control of my own life so that I may be useful once again not only to me but also to others. I can no longer travel this road to destruction. I really do exist.
Today is the start of a new day, a new beginning, AGAIN, but this time I have to do it my way. I need to be doing things for me and not for everyone else, sharing the good parts of me and what I have to offer, and accepting those little bitty annoying "upsets" that happen daily to all of us. Others have learned how to do it...so will I.
I need to speak my language again (tsalagi), sing my music again (chants and praises), play my instruments again (flute and drums), drop my shoulders again (lately, they've been up to my ears!), breathe again, get out in God's world again, and above all, enjoy God's creation again---me.
Wado (thank you) for listening and talenaeh (until next time),
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