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Will this ever end....

Monday, February 11, 2013

Sometimes I wonder about all the things going on in the world today and I think, "Will this ever end?" I know God has it covered, but our world, and our nation, has become so different than what I ever expected. I NEVER thought I'd see things I'm seeing today, hear things I hear, whether it be on TV or in a store, doing things I never thought I'd have to do. It's a bit scary, and oh, so tiresome, and dealing with it on a daily basis is so overwhelming.

BUT, I know that God is in control, and if I hang in there, He will hold on to me. So, if it never ends until I'm called home, that's ok. I'll depend on my Savior and everything will be alright.

My path may seem a little bumpy, but my journey is one I will continue with His help.

talenaeh!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DJ4HEALTH 3/11/2014 2:01AM

    It will get worse too but He is in control of it all. He is even controlling the devil too. Just read what the Bible says about the devil and you will see that he has to get permission from God to do anything to God's children. It is always in His hands. It also tells me that He is coming back soon for His church too.

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ANGEL27551 11/7/2013 10:17PM

    hang in there. emoticon

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JENNY712 3/14/2013 11:47AM

    emoticon

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SACRED_FIRE 2/24/2013 12:08PM

    I think all we can do is just hold on tight to this roller coaster we call life, and ride it out.

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AWAHILI 2/17/2013 2:07PM

    *hugs tight* Just hang in there Lady.. You are a BRIGHT spot in so many lives in this dark and dismal world.. *smiles*

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JESSIG5 2/13/2013 10:22AM

    I totally agree with you. It is so depressing to watch the news I am tempted to stop. It just breaks my heart for our country.

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GARDENCHRIS 2/12/2013 12:58PM

    I know how you feel ..... it does get overwhelming at times.

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2BFREE2LIVE 2/12/2013 12:34AM

    I am living proof that God does have plans for each and every one of us. He will never put more on your plate than you can handle and he is always there to listen when we go to him in prayer.

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NANCYPAT1 2/11/2013 10:05PM

    Yes, God does have this covered, but I know what you mean about the things and the way people behave and talk - it is a very troubling situation. The only consolation might be that our parents and grandparents said the same thing when THEY were younger and even ancient Greeks (not sure if Plato or Socrates or someone else of their ilk) wrote essays that sounded like they could have been written today or yesterday.

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KARIDIAN1 2/11/2013 10:04PM

    Things we never thought of worrying about in the past now make everyone nervous.
Such a Topsy Tervy world.

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ALYSSAR2012 2/11/2013 10:02PM

    Thanks for posting! I needed to be reminded of that.

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One year ago today.....

Monday, April 23, 2012

I can't believe it's been a year since our Laura lost her battle with cancer. A year. Not so long ago and yet it seems a lifetime ago since I've heard her voice or seen her smile. My son and granddaughter have held up very well, and I'm so proud of them, but they have had a rough time. Lonely does not quite express how we all feel. It's only a word, a word that cannot come close to describing the real feelings of loss we have.

Laura gave more than she ever received, and never expected anything in return. She was such a special person and I loved her so very much.

I miss Laura's laugh. It could reach the mountain top.
I miss her smile. It could melt any problem.
I miss her teaching. It touched every child she ever taught.
I miss her gifts. Each one was chosen especially for the person she made it for.
I miss her attitude. It never failed to be positive.
I miss her voice. It always had a lift to it that made your day bright.
I miss her words. They always made sense in a world that has gone a little crazy.
I miss her fun ways. She was never "down" and always made others feel special.
I miss her eyes. Not only beautiful, but they had that sparkle that just made you feel good.
Most of all, I just miss her being on this earth, making it a better place.

Yes, I miss her, and words cannot express how much, but I will see her again, and then everything will be as it is supposed to be once again.

"Thank you, Jesus, for the strength you've given us to get through this year. Touch my children and give them peace today."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DJ4HEALTH 12/10/2012 12:07AM

    Prayers for all of you. She sounded like a wonderful woman and I know that you love her and she is always in your heart and one day you will see her and she will not be in pain.

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GARDENCHRIS 12/9/2012 9:10AM

    emoticon

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BRENNI71 7/2/2012 12:40PM

  I found your page through another spark friend and I loved your intro and found this beautiful tribute. So much love in your words.

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DRAGONFLY126 6/14/2012 10:25PM

    April 23,2011 the universe received a brilliant star. And every nite it shines so brightly for the loved ones here on earth. Know this is truth. Hugs my sister.

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DEERLADY45 6/1/2012 8:21AM

    A Beautiful Tribute! I cant say i know how you feel cause every one feels grief differently but i lost my brother and Hero Oct 1, 2010 and i miss his smile and humor the most! he lived a hard Life with MS for 25 years and he never once complained or felt God wasnt being fair! He was the most amazing person i knew!I was his caregiver for 7 years and his strength was so great! Im trying to go on and to be as strong as he and i dont have near of what he had toodeal with! Also remember in Spirit they are always with us! I can just feel it mostly when im out in the garden or out in nature!When i have that hawk hovering above me numerous times this year or that eagle that flew over the other day.. Was that actually Him,I dont know for sure but to me it feels like it is just checking up on me! Watch for signs! Blessings friend my Heart goes out to you and your loss, BONNIE emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon BONIE

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VADAVICTORIA 5/18/2012 5:41PM

    Praying for you. emoticon

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JENNY712 5/18/2012 5:34PM

    so sorry! HUGS and prayers jenny emoticon

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TABBYARTS 4/26/2012 11:19AM

    The most best way to honor Laura is by copying her attitude and pass it around.
HUGS TO YOU
I loved the tribute you wrote to her.
TOBY BEAR
aka TEE
aka TABBY

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BECKYANNE1 4/23/2012 9:46PM

    emoticon emoticon

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100LBLIGHTER 4/23/2012 5:05PM

    I have heard that the good die young...heard this all my life. Why would that happen? If you believe that death is the end..then the good dying young would not make any sense but if you believe that this world is not the end...... that there is a better place where there is perfection....then the special people leaving this world first would make sense, and if you believe that those special people are more alive now that they have ever been, that their smile is brighter and eyes are more sparkling than ever...that should take away some sorrow. And if you believe, as I do that they have been given a job to watch over and care for the ones they left behind....where there is no limits of time or distance or power.....and in a moment they can be right beside you helping you through a difficult time....that should drive away the sadness. If your Daughter left your home and went to hers.....just because you could not see her...her laugh, eyes, etc.,,, would that mean the things you love about her is gone?... no they are still there. Only a veil keeps you from seeing her right now. So tell the sadness to go away... Tell her "good morning" everyday when you awake....and talk to her when you think of her all the day long...and whisper" I love you" and "good night" as the stars come out and you lay your head on the pillow at night. Emulate the things that were special in her. Love and care for the ones she left behind......in this way she knows you love her still.....she knows. She is truly just a breath away.

Now that is what I believe.

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GOLDDUSTTWIN 4/23/2012 11:15AM

    emoticon May the knowledge that there are many on Sparks today that share your loss and pray that the Lord will hold all of you and comfort you today of all days as you remember her and all the joy and laughter she gave in her life and not the pain of loss. emoticon

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AWAHILI 4/23/2012 10:54AM

    Hold those memories close to You .. you will see her again but next time it will be freedom from the pain and suffering she had to endure.. She sounds like she was an amazing women and a true gift to all who knew her. *huge hugs*

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CATHOLICCORGI 4/23/2012 5:46AM

    emoticon
How great a blessing to KNOW we will see our loved ones again! Untl then, we know their love remains in our heart and in our lives everytime we remember them.
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MISSM66 4/23/2012 4:27AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAMAWALMART 4/23/2012 2:41AM

    May Jesus be with you always on your journey through life, no matter what trail you walk.
Keep Smiling
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Karen

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2BFREE2LIVE 4/23/2012 2:21AM

    emoticon

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LATTELEE 4/23/2012 12:57AM

  Missing is one thing, being thankful for the time you had is another.

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Things changed......

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I hate negative comments. They depress you and bring you down. Just once, I would like to hear positive anything. Is that possible with some people? I don't think so. BUT, I refuse to let it get me down.

When I said that I was going to take one day at a time, I meant it. Why? Because that's all I CAN take.....one day at a time. I can't think of tomorrow because it may never come. I can't think of today because it's already passed. I can only think of now, right now. It's the only thing that makes sense and I don't have to go any further.

Boy, does the song "One Day at a Time" ring true to me. That's all I can take.

"My Deliverer is coming, is coming, My Deliverer is standing by,
He will never break His promise, He has written it upon the sky,
My Deliverer is coming, is coming, My Deliverer is here."
----- Rich Mullins

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENNY712 1/25/2012 10:49PM

    I love what you said! "One Day at a time."

A quote i love:
Unknown author except the Bible verse from the Holy Bible verse of 1 Peter 5:7

"I am not oppressed by cares, difficulties and troubles; I am "casting all my cares upon Him, for He careth for me" 1 Pt. 5:7

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AWAHILI 9/28/2011 4:47PM

    You will make it.. I know You can do it.. YESSS One day at a time is ALL You can do.. to those who bring You down.. block that out of Your heart. Some people get a high off of brining otehrs day. Hugs.. *smiles softly*

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DEERLADY45 9/15/2011 10:02AM

    People try to bring you down sometimes Lakota lady. Dont let them. Thats their dream, not yours. Its about them, not YOU. Gotta read The four agreements,changed my life. Nothing can get me down , nothing . I wont let any one ruin my dream. I dont know what we would do without music! Its great!Sometimes im country, sometimes spiritual,whatever you want.Awesome1 You r a good spiritual beautiful person. My intuition feels it. emoticon emoticonI Love Liquid Silk,native american flute music for relaxation and some times even Pow- wow music on tape emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/15/2011 10:08:02 AM

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GERMANIRISHGIRL 9/14/2011 12:23PM

    Be happy!

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JENNY712 9/14/2011 9:27AM

    HUGS! emoticonLove and Prayers jenny

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TERRYT55 9/14/2011 2:10AM

    One day at a time.........some days are just so much harder than others. Those hard, long days are made easier with music.

I hope tomorrow and the days to come surround you with only positive comments and energy.

Take care, Terry

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CBEVNOW 9/14/2011 1:04AM

    I think you can be positive even if its a slower positive. We have to think of our self sometimes and not what others think.
Caroline

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LAKOTALADY 9/13/2011 11:22PM

    What would we do without music? The words come alive when you put it to song.

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TABBYARTS 9/13/2011 11:14PM

    YES, YOU KNEW THAT THE POSITIVE DAY WOULDN'T LAST LONG.
but at least you kept on singing!
Lean on the Lord. Lean on his everlasting arms!

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GOOZLEBEAR 9/13/2011 11:12PM

    So true! Thanks for posting. I love that song too!!!

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Before anything changes....

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Before anything changes to "normal", I wanted to say that today has been an awesome day for me. I really don't know what happened, if anything, but absolutely everything has been perfect since I got out of bed.

Maybe it was/is the cool weather (I love the cold); maybe it was that Mother went to day care and actually came home happy AND we had a wonderful conversation on the porch; maybe it was that I got some things in my house cleaned and put away; maybe it was I worked outside; maybe it was that I actually had a nice day with my dog (who we had to put outside because of Mother); maybe it was just that God smiled on my and I ACTUALLY saw it/felt it/breathed it.

I don't know what it was, but I'll take it any day at any time in any situation. I do want to see/feel/breathe it again, so Lord, I'm going to look for it....and YOU each morning when I get up. Even though I go to You and Your Word first thing, sometimes I fear that I leave You and Your Word in the chair. I think You got tired of that, so here I am Lord, use me!!

Praise God, Praise God, Praise God!!! I feel wonderful!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TABBYARTS 9/13/2011 11:06PM

    HANG ON TO THIS FEELING.
YOU MIGHT HAVE TO RELY UPON IT IN THE FUTURE.


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TERRYT55 9/8/2011 8:33PM

    I smiled all the way through your blog! I hope you have many, many more days lioke this one.

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NDTEACHER1 9/8/2011 8:10PM

    Cherish those glorious days!!!

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JENNY712 9/8/2011 7:16PM

    emoticonThis is a wonderful report. God bless you and may all your days be blessed! emoticonLove and prayers Jenny

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100LBLIGHTER 9/8/2011 6:04PM

    So sweet....I am glad for you.

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MT-MOONCHASER 9/8/2011 6:03PM

    This is GREAT!!! I hope that days like this will come more often until they are the norm.

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Starting anew...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Osiyo nigada (Hello everyone),

I am in trouble. I am depressed. I am feeling sorry for myself. I am on so much medication. I can't control my appetite. I can't control my tears. Sound familiar? It hit me in the face like a two by four!! But things are about to change.

I'm not going to get upset about every little thing that happens anymore. Problems always occur, but I can choose--I MUST choose-- how to react to them. When things go wrong, ask yourself--ask Waya--what good will it do to get upset? What good will it do to get depressed about it? What good will it do to feel sorry for myself? And what good will it do to binge? Now, the tears? They may help. I hear that releases a lot of stress!! ;-)

I'm going to really, I mean REALLY, think about it before I react and then say out loud, "Waya, what good will it do for you, yes, for you, Waya, to get upset?" Nothing good can result from it, that's for sure. Getting upset can only cause me health problems, Do I want to be zapped of all my energy? Do I want high blood pressure? Do I want to be stressed? Do I want to continue having to take a pill to avoid acid reflux? Do I want to go into a deeper depression? NO, NO, NO, NO, and NO!!! And I certainly don't want to gain another pound! So... I'm determined to quit getting upset. At least I can react differently, in a more positive way that will help not only me but also others that may--or may not-- be involved.

I've forgotten who I am. I've forgotten how to laugh. I've forgotten how to enjoy anything. I've forgotten how to accept change. No one else made me do that. I did it myself, letting others take control of my life while I sat idly by, getting UPSET about it. Now that I've remembered, "Hey, Waya, you still exist.", I'm ready to take back control of my own life so that I may be useful once again not only to me but also to others. I can no longer travel this road to destruction. I really do exist.

Today is the start of a new day, a new beginning, AGAIN, but this time I have to do it my way. I need to be doing things for me and not for everyone else, sharing the good parts of me and what I have to offer, and accepting those little bitty annoying "upsets" that happen daily to all of us. Others have learned how to do it...so will I.

I need to speak my language again (tsalagi), sing my music again (chants and praises), play my instruments again (flute and drums), drop my shoulders again (lately, they've been up to my ears!), breathe again, get out in God's world again, and above all, enjoy God's creation again---me.

Wado (thank you) for listening and talenaeh (until next time),

Waya1Spirit (Vicki)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAM_HIS2 9/4/2011 3:48PM

    My dear friend, I experienced depression years ago, however, I have not forgotten that feeling. You are on the right path and keep blogging...we are all here to support YOU. Sending you love and prayers, and a hand to hold onto.

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JENNY712 9/1/2011 9:15AM

    emoticonMay the Lord warp you in His love, guidance, and tender care. Your attitude is good! emoticon emoticonLove and prayers Jenny

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TABBYARTS 8/31/2011 12:23AM

    How Kola! Ah ho! It is good that you are bringing your concerns to Wakan Tanka. Attitude is the ONLY think we have complete control over. It is a long learning process. You will make many detours along this journey. You are HUMAN after all!
Glad you came back to Spark. Are you familiar with the Turtle Dance? It is a Cherokee women's dance. They have rattles of turtle shells strapped below the knee. The natural patterns along the edge of the shells resembles women dancing. I have a picture somewhere... when I find it, I will post it!
HO! MITAQUE ASEHY To All My Relations

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LAURALOVESSPARK 8/30/2011 5:48PM

    emoticon

Trust in God and he will lead you to the light.
Laugh, smile, enjoy nature, and keep telling yourself that God loves you. emoticon

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2BFREE2LIVE 8/30/2011 3:58PM

    Dear friend, I to have been in a deep depression for several years and each day is a struggle. Mine was brought on by my Daughter disowning me because I did not die back when the Dr. said I was going to.
She wanted all my worldly goods, which are not much and then when I did not die she wrote me off. I have not seen my grand daughter since she was 18 months old and she turned 8 years old on April 3 of this year, it hurts every day and I will not give up never, even if it means my daughter is being a real pain in the A** one day I know my grand daughter will want to know where I am and want to see me and that is why every day when I get up she is the first thing on my mind she is the reason I have to live to be here for her when she needs me.
You have to lift yourself above all the day to day things that bring you down and focus on something that will be there for you when you get to the other end of your journey. Focus on success focus on yourself and your health, because without health you have nothing.
Best wishes my friend. Sandy

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CAROLIAN 8/30/2011 2:39PM

    Praying for you.Depression is an awful thin but you will come out the otherside emoticon

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100LBLIGHTER 8/30/2011 2:20PM

    I went through a depression a while back....mine was brought on by a lot of things. One is my Mother has Alzheimer's. I had cared for her for 5 months and she insisted on going home...so family took her back to her home to live alone. I knew she was not capable caring for herself although my Sister lived close. My Sister is a widow and works all the time to survive. I was helpless. The feeling of being helpless overwhelmed me. There were other things that were bothering me for a long time. I just began believing God did not love me anymore. Then...
I accidentally took the wrong medication and it sent me for a spin. I had to go to the Doctor to get medication. It helped me get settled. But I knew I did not want to live on medication for ever. Here are some tips that helped me and I hope it helps you. Fill you mind with good thoughts...I would sing hymns in my head...all the time or quote scripture..of Gods love. I did not stay alone...I found people who were positive. And do something to help yourself or someone else everyday. Something you can feel good about. If it is your Son....you are concerned about, find a way to show love to him and your Granddaughter...even if they are far from you... they are just a stamp away. Just being in my Grandsons presence could take all the pain away.

It has been a year since this all started....I am off the medication. I am home and back to normal. My mother has been taken care of .....all the things that I was worried about are settled...I know God loves me..God is love. If we just pray and leave these things at his feet he will take care. We do not understand why things happen as they do ....someday we will. The important thing is God has given us another day to do good...to love...to laugh...to cry. Your Son is not alone...and his loving wife is closer than he knows. Remind him ...love... true love is eternal....when he sees her again it will be there. I hope and pray that sharing my story helps you and your family in some way. I have asked God to give you and your family His peace that passes all understanding. Blessings, Grace

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FANORONHA_14 8/30/2011 1:05PM

    You are emoticonYou are emoticon
Never Give Up!
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Life is Good!
Good Health is the Greatest Wealth!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13
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