LADYVIXON   290
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LADYVIXON's Recent Blog Entries

My New Life!

Friday, April 04, 2014

Hi everybody
I really missed it here! I lost touch with the sparkpeople community. I have been so busy with school and work trying to save money for my surgery. Anyone that remembers me I would just love an opportunity to fill you in one the last 2 years of my weight loss journey.

As many of you triple digest losers know after massive weight loss there is an issue with excess skin. I had a lot of excess skin on my stomach and arms and had it removed in 2012. I had no complications and I healed very quickly. I am very happy with my results I finally feel the results of all my hard work

I was going to go to school to be a nurse but through my weight loss journey, I discovered that changing your eating habits and your views on food can change your life dramatically. I combined my passion for nutrition and my passion for helping people and decided I want to be a nutritionist

I want to remain loyal to sparkpeople.com sparkeople will always have a place in my heart this site offered me support education accountability which I will to rein act for my clients as a nutritionist.

twitter @AllisonFrances2

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATIEMONKEEY 12/18/2014 11:35AM

    What an inspiration.

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CURVACIOUS_10 10/21/2014 1:40PM

    This is aweseome! Keep up the great work!

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GREGGWEISBROD 7/3/2014 7:19PM

    Wish I had been with you during your journey, it looks like it was a fantastic one with great long term effects! What kind of surgery are you saving up to have? Just curious. Hope you have a great July and that all your plans ease perfectly into fruition. :)

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LESSISMORE2010 4/9/2014 5:17PM

    Congratulations on your many successes!!!!

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GYPSYGOTH 4/4/2014 5:37PM

    emoticon Glad to see you here! Congrats on all of your successes and I'm so glad you get to see the results of all of your hard work!

I plan to stay on Spark even though I don't think I want to lose any more weight... just gain muscle and get fitter! Hope to see you around again!

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SIMBEL1 4/4/2014 2:55PM

  Good Job

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Reminder

Saturday, April 25, 2009



I really had to realize that I need to stop living for yesterday, and to live for today and for what can be tomorrow. I had to stop worrying about who I was, and think about who I can be...I was starting to have a lot of self esteem issues again and my negative self talk came back. It's important to keep working on these things we wouldn't talk to our friends or anybody the way we talk about ourselves so just keep an eye on it and every time you catch yourself saying mean things change it for something nice about yourself. Remind yourself your a strong beautiful person and deserve to have self esteem and to be talked to with respect.


Another thing I was struggling with was worrying I wasn't being as "good" as I was before that before I felt like I had more control and I felt stronger....that's a hunk of bologna nothing had changed at all NOTHING only my thinking I was thinking I wasn't as strong as I used to be and couldn't control my eating and therefore didn't have any control and I started playing this weak character this negative sad little girl who had no self esteem and couldn't control her binging but that is so far from reality! Indulging in food that tastes good is not binging and is not something to binge over it doesn't have to be red or white it can be pink give and take push and pull so don't freak out if you eat too much food because even skinny people over eat sometimes you just need learn what you can from it and pick yourself up and keep going it's all about a process or a journey it doesn't have to be done all at once

in a nutshell it's all about the frame of mind you have to remember there is allway's some light in a dark situation don't let things bring you down and watch your self talk if you tell yourself "but i like food too much" or "i can't do this it's too hard" or "i wish i could do that" than you will feel that's the truth and when you feel that way your actions will show it, your thoughts affect your feelings, and your feelings affect your actions so think positive think big and dare to dream you never know when your dreams will become reality


All about the self love emoticon
~Lady Vixon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SARAHJMS 5/9/2011 9:08PM

  This is very motivating! Thanks for sharing! We, especially girls get really down on ourselves at times. It is hard when media makes us feel like we need to look and be a certain way. We all have to be our own cheerleaders and help each other out! AWESOME PROGRESS THUS Far!!! :)

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MAKEDAMNSURE2 6/22/2010 8:42AM

    I have honestly been doing the negative self talk lately and I really needed this! I felt since I took a short break from everything that I was flabby and not strong anymore! Now that I've started running again it's like my whole mindset is different and I am viewing my body in different more POSITIVE WAYS! This helped me soo much thank thank thank you!!

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WORDGRRL71 10/5/2009 9:19PM

    Hi, thanks for adding me as a friend, you are a bombshell and LOOK what you have done with your health! My therapist (who is a recovering compulsivist herself) says my biggest problem is comparing myself to 1) others; and 2) myself as a near-professional dancer at 18. That is why nothing in between lasts very long for me, and I am 38. It's the not good enough that is bringing me down; a girlfriend the other night said the reason I don't date men is because I always talk about how I'm not pretty enough; the not good enough thing. I think you and me both should take an inventory of our strengths. Wanna do it and share with each other?

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PANARICANBEAUTY 7/30/2009 9:04PM

    im lost for words because you are so inspiring. but on top of that, i think you are just too gorgeous girl!!!! i am so moved by you!!!!

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KIAKEYS 7/19/2009 10:42PM

    That was really good encouragement. It's funny but i just added a blog to my spot talking about change and how much i love food, how it's apart of my life, and how it's so hard for me to make the right choices when it comes to food but after reading this it really made me realize that i am being one of those helpless victims you're referring to and i don't want to be that. So for now on i'll make sure i check myself before i play that role again....


Thank you,
P.S. I added you to my friends list for the inspiration

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ANDREASCHANGE 7/13/2009 1:13PM

    Thanks for sharing, I just blogged on one of my binges that occurred recently. The best thing for me to do is learn and move on focusing on not who I am but what I could be... thanks for reaffirming this and offering hope!

emoticon emoticon

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BAILEY1950 5/30/2009 11:58PM

    This reminds me to be consistent in writing in my journal. Most times, I can't find it to write in it... lol

That's got to change.. Maybe it's time for me to change--my outlook on myself..

This is truly inspiring...

Affirmations help too..

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PENNYLEWIS 5/18/2009 7:32PM

    Thank you for honesty. Sometimes we arent so honest with ourselves and tell ourselves that are different when really deep down inside we really know that we're ARE the same person with the same hurt, the same person the same addiction to food. We just have taken control! You GO Girl! I Love your Blog! I also want to thank you for sharing the your inner thoughts. Something I admire and need to work on . . .

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BUTTAFLYH 5/5/2009 9:57PM

    You rock. What a blessing this was! :)

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ARTHURTOM 4/25/2009 6:16PM

    I have had to step back and take a look at where I've been. I had to think of the motivation that I've had for the things that I've done and how, as I've accomplished different things over the past several months, the new me is encountering different challenges that I had never envisioned when I began to organize my priorities some 18 months ago.

When I started working on the physical me, my emotional me was also in the dumps. Add to that the spiritual me. I am still working on all three. When I started what I have some 18 months ago, I thought that the physical me would be the most difficult to rebuild. What has transpired over the past 18 months in my physical realm has been nothing short of a miracle.

Now there's the emotional me. While my depression has leveled off and is nearly non existent, I still have myself in somewhat of an emotional mess. I'm starting to realize that I need to address these areas of my life with the same vigor that I do my fitness.

Your blog has helped me to realize that, yes, I am still the same me. I have the "reminders" of my past and need to put them in the proper place so I can grow and meet the challenges that are presented to me on a daily basis.

Tim

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SLMTRACE 4/25/2009 6:03PM

    Thanks for sharing that, it is alll so true, the last week i have been working on being more positive, and thinking good things about myself, and it really has helped! we really would never talk to our friends like that so wth are we doing saying and thinking it about and to ourselfs! that really hit home for me!
you are a great inspiration! hope that you have a great day!
xoxo
Tracy

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o

Sunday, March 15, 2009

.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GINNJEN2000 3/26/2009 4:30PM

    Liked this alot... I too live in the grey a bit. As far as writing it has been therapy in a sense to me sometimes pyschotherapy emoticon anyway you weight loss is amazing.

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IMREADY77 3/18/2009 4:28PM

    Thanks so much for sharing such a personal poem with me. I so can relate to it. That's me when I allow food and sadness get to me. Thanks!

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ARTHURTOM 3/16/2009 12:14PM

    Knowing where we are at and where we've been is a helpful tool. I like your strategy of writing a poem. It takes thought and creativity to come up with the words to describe your thoughts and feelings.

Failure is not an option for me. Now that doesn't mean that on a daily or a situational basis I may fail, but my long range forecast is for success and one slip up I wouldn't consider failure.

Visiting your depression but not dwelling on it can be likened to variety in your meal. Too much of one particular item, such as when you're not depressed and feeling good...if you never had the depression the feeling good would get boring...perhaps.

I have been to the depths of depression to where I was begging the Almighty for death. I have come from those depths to where I'm at today. I think of a poem that I found online that I'll share here, that helped me face my depression and some of the basis for it...

Iíve seen her
Iíve seen my love; Iíve seen her pass
She walks with such a grace,
She turned and smiled across at me,
The sun upon her face,
And I swear I caught the scent,
The fragrance of her hair,
Could I believe Ė should I believe,
Her spirit blessed me there?
Her eyes so bright, they shone with love,
No pain to cloud them now,
And when she laughed no line was seen,
Across that perfect brow.
Oh love, if you would only wait,
Beyond the tears and pain,
Weíll walk together, hand in hand,
In love, in peace, AgainÖ

A beautiful piece yet it sends me to tears because I think of my one true love and how I can see her face in my mind but I can't touch her with my hands.

Thanks Lady for stimulating my thought...I like your blog.

Tim

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AMBERROGUE 3/16/2009 11:52AM

    Writing is such a great way to release emotions, isn't it? I love your poem - so honest and deeply touching. I have been where you were when you wrote that poem. I'm not a poet, not by a long shot, but I find that journaling and writing fiction helps me when I'm dealing with emotions I'd usually use as an excuse to go raid the pantry.

Good for you for finding other ways of dealing!

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support: don't sulk dont become a victim you are stronger than that

Friday, February 06, 2009





in the end i would just like to say that you don't need to have great support at home as long as you can look past it and realize that some people are just very cold hearted or make comments out of ignorance and it is their choice and doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, that you are not worthless and deserve better don't let it break you down you can rise above it, it is allway's better to keep the positive people that care about you and your well being close and keep those Negative Nancy's far if you have a lot of people that are not invested in your well being than you have to be strong and love yourself because everybody is born with a soul and is entitled to be loved and respected

sometimes toxic people in your life can make you really appreciate all the positive supportive ones and remember they can be portrayed however they want we have a choice to respond to it how we see fit, you can let it bring you down or it can make you even stronger, don't let it distract you from your goals because if there wasn't any obstacles it wouldn't have as much value to us
realize you are worth so much more emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PENNYLEWIS 5/18/2009 8:59PM

    I think what you are doing is the right way to deal with it.
You have the right attitude about it. I think you're exactly
right to choose to not allow her comments to affect you.
You know what happened to you was not right. As a nurse,
I see cases of abuse and even sometimes have to report too. It is also not uncommon to see the mother/parent be in denial about their child's abuse almost in all the cases. The denial is not from being cold hearted about the abuse but a shock response to what has happened. According
to the American Psychiatric Association (1994) defense
mechanisms are patterns of feelings, thoughts, or behaviors
that are relatively involuntary and arise in response to
perceptions of psychic danger. They are designed to hide
or alleviate the conflicts or stressors that give rise to
anxiety. Denial is the failure to acknowledge an external
reality that is apparent to others. It can so be ignorance
of the abuse process. For example: What is call Grooming
stage (where the perpetrator is buying gifts, tickling,
singling out, being extra nice, Sharing pornography
secretly, petting, etc to the victim.) To acknowledge this
stage as a parent, even later after knowing this is going on
would be to blame themselves for what has happened.
That would be guilt and anger with their own feelings.
Not to mention to have to deal with the feeling of their
child. People can stay in denial. That would mean they
wouldn't have to deal with this emotion and anxiety.
There is no time frame for denial. Others stay in denial
and others move on to acceptance. In your situation it is
unfortunate after all these years that your mother was
not more supportive for you. So you have to move on and
take care of YOU. Many times understanding why a
person reacts a certain way can help in dealing with how
YOU view the situation. In your case. understanding why
a mother would respond to their child when they confide
in them about something as traumatic as sexual abuse
may be helpful.

Non offending Parent reasons for denial. ( Taken from
"Treating Non offending Parents Child Sexual Abuse
Cases" By Jill Levenson, John W. Morin
__________________________
_________________
Love both, feels conflicted
Feels ashamed, could protect her child
Issues with own sexuality or attractiveness
Why did he choose the child over me?
Fear of Child welfare intervention
Fear of Being blamed
Emotional Dependence
Afraid of perpetrator
Ashamed of her choice of mate
Sexual abuse history herself
Protection not role modeled in family origin
Makes her own attempts to protect the child
Believed she can handle it herself


In this case, You did right by making your case known.
She was unfortunately not supportive. You cannot control
her or change her mind. So I would not discuss it with
her again. I think you made the right decision in handling
this though. I do recommend that you find someone that
you can confide in though to discuss this with and talk
about it so you can heal. Remember we are here for you
and you always have support here at Sparkpeople.

Hugs to you.~Penny




Comment edited on: 5/18/2009 9:18:11 PM

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MISSZ1 3/18/2009 5:45AM

    Where do you live hon? You don't need to stay there. I have a couch! Seriously your mother is nutter and I totally understand the trama of sexual abuses and molestation. Thank the gods you are helping yourself now and not waiting another 13 years like I did. emoticon

You can get past it. And no one else can feel what you feel so try to forgive her. I suspect she feels that she was abused worse as a child and that is why she can't empathize. She is too busy comparing your situations and convincing herself yours could have been much worse. that is a fallacy of course but a common one.

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AMBERROGUE 2/13/2009 10:14AM

    I think you're exactly right to choose to not allow her comments to affect you. You know what happened to you was not right. You know that it is something you have to deal with and work through at your own pace. Her preconceived opinions do not matter because you have a great support network; a great group of people who do understand and sympathize.

There is always going to be at least one person who tries to minimize something terrible that you've gone through. You have the right attitude! Keep working towards healing yourself! emoticon

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RUN_KELLI 2/8/2009 7:34PM

    I think your success speaks for itself. You may not be healed, but I think you are healing. It takes time. Give yourself that. And in the meantime, appreciate yourself for who you are and who you've become. You have done a phenomenal thing. Congratulations. There are plenty of us on here to support you.

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ARTHURTOM 2/7/2009 9:27AM

    There are some things that can get through the armor. Certain comments can would like being shot with a bazooka. Developing strategies to deal with them is a part of growing and learning how to live healthy.

I've had some pretty rotten things said to me by my baby sister. She is almost as big as I was when I started my life change some 14 months ago. I'm sure she doesn't want to be as big as she is, but she doesn't want to commit to a healthy lifestyle.

One thing she told me about 4 weeks ago in an attempt to get a shot in under the armor was "you can go ahead and act like you're Mr. Healthy, but you'll go off your plan and you'll gain most if not all of your weight back".

What she said hurt me bad. What hurt was that for her to say that, tells me she didn't understand what happened to me or the reasons why my weight exploded to 380 pounds. Rather than refute her absolutely horrid comments with something that would injure her, I have decided to draw back and not be social with her. If she asks, I will give her whatever advice/motivation that I can muster, but as long as her attitude and her habits don't change, I don't see a reason to put myself in a place where her comments will harm my mental psyche.

It's good to see that you're advancing to the point where you can identify problems areas and strategies to deal with them.

Best of success to you.

Tim

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DRAGONFLY4JUDY 2/6/2009 11:33PM

    When I came into program, I was told "We are here to love you until you can love yourself." My program Moms have been able to love me in a way my real Mom can't.

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