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Doing fat time...

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

That what I think i'm doing as a fat woman... time. As if i'm behind bars waiting for my martyrdom to be over. Yet i'm the only one able to get me out of this for good behaviour! I went up for parole quite a few times in my life but was never able to impress the board...

Now as time goes by, the time is harder and harder to do. More and more challenges are thrown my way.

Here's a list of all the ailments i have to face everyday:

- I can't sit cross legged on the floor anymore (indian like seating) as my knees can't be twisted that way anymore; this means i can't read to my kids as they sit in the "hole" as i'd say

- It's more and more difficult for me to walk up some stairs. And not with the baby in my arms, i get upstairs with burning thighs, gasping for air

- I often have joint pains, especially in my knees. It is not really bad yet but it will get worst if i don't do something

- There is not a day that goes by without me complaining of pain somewhere on my body, wether it being in my neck, in my arms, in my hips, in my back. Heck i even feel sore in my jaw when i eat too much crunchy things!

- I have no more energy for sex anymore (sorry TMI). The energy is just not there anymore. And often times, my stomach is too full for me to even want to move

- I am always tired. I have no energy to do anything. When i have an activity planned and do it, i often come home exhausted and just lay there on the couch

- My blood sugar started slowly going up. To the point where i'm pretty sure i'm either pre-diabetic or even full on diabetic. That is quite scary. I'm only 32 and have 2 kids to take care of. I can't do this if i'm DEAD

- I have bunions on my feet. They are very sore to start with but with the 80-90 pound pressure i put on them everyday as i walk sure isn't helping

-Unfortunately, this i can't change, but i do have hanging skin already. Especially on my arms. I can only imagine what it'll be like after i lose the weight... but i'm willing to risk it!

- Raising up from a kneeled down or sitting on the floor position has become really hard lately. It takes me great effort to gather up the energy to get up...

- If i sit for too long, getting up is also a struggle. My hips get really sore.

The list could go on and on i'm sure. I AM ONLY 32 FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME RIGHT NOW... If things don't change, i will be in a wheelchair by the time i'm 45... Heck i could even be dead by that time...

I will write these things down in my IPhone (it's always on me) and look at them every time i want to make a bad choice. Remind myself of how aweful this bad choice is/has/will keep me feeling that way if i make it.

Anyways, it's getting late and i have to get to my 15 minute in front of the TV streak before i go to bed. Go strong ME!!! ;)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FABULOUS1977 11/24/2010 9:06AM

    It sucks doesn`t it? When everything seems to get in your way? a week ago i was in a meeting, for a whole morning, sitting on a chair. My tummy was in the way ! I felt like my upper legs were touching my tummy and it made me feel unconfortable. That was a first for me.

Also, i cant sit properly indian either. My legs dont wanna cross properly, but my knees are fine.

Now, lets not wait for a doctor to tell us we are too late. Lets do something about it now!!!

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SUPERKARA 9/1/2010 9:58PM

    You can do it! Stay strong! Start small and set small goals! You can accomplish anything you put your mind to! I promise! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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The beggining of the end...

Monday, August 30, 2010

This has to be and will be the end of me being fat and the start of me being healthy. I've started the fast break today. I have been a member of SparkPeople since January 5th 2009 and i'm still here... at 215 pounds. I haven't moved an inche in over a year and a half. I haven't even really gotten into the groove of what is SparkPeople. I bought The Spark book last week and have been reading it quite religiously. It opened my eyes onto what getting in shape really is.

I'm not in a very good mood tonight so i'll keep this short. I had a good food and fitness day although i had an aweful emotional day. Both my kids got to me today, especially the oldest. Let's not get into that...

So cheers to me and to healthy living. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELRAE2 12/29/2010 4:59PM

    Good luck! You can do it! And also (though not an excuse exacty) were pregnant for 9 of the months you have been on here. I too feel that I have not made as much of a pregoress as I should have! I lost almost 40 pounds and gained back 25 od it. We both can do it!

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NATALLIKA 9/1/2010 7:56AM

    Good luck !

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FABULOUS1977 8/31/2010 1:06PM


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CORINA-MOMOF4 8/30/2010 9:10PM

    You can do it!! My biggest tips, track all your foods and stay in your calorie range (never under, nor over) Yes, even going under range is NOT good... And get moving - as much as possible. Walk when you can... walking is a great beginning exercise.

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BJW-FARMGIRL 8/30/2010 8:58PM

    Remember--you're worth it.

Comment edited on: 8/30/2010 9:00:55 PM

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BJW-FARMGIRL 8/30/2010 8:50PM

    emoticonYou go girl!

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Bittersweet victory

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I hopped on the scale today and was 3 pounds lighter than last week. Despite the KFC i had last night and regretted...

It is a bittersweet victory because, being pregnant, i am so sick. I can barely eat anything during the day. It's nice to lose the weigh, but i can't attribute it to my working hard for it. I had to stop working out for a few days due to some very light spotting. I want to start again but the nausea is kinda keeping me from it. As soon as i start moving around a little too much i want to barf.

So for now i will keep trying to eat healthy when i can actually eat and not worry about it so much.

Thanks for listening!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JRSWHIMSY 8/12/2009 11:50AM

    Mmmmmm KFC - I do love their biscuits!

Pregnancy can really suck the first couple months! And the last couple months... And some of the ones in between... You'll get used to it though. Or not... The tough thing is pregnancy is different for everyone and different every time. I have three kids and every pregnancy was different. Try lighter exercises like walking, or even just leg lifts from the floor if you're feeling carpy. Don't worry, it's all well worth it!

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SUNSHINEPOINTE 8/12/2009 10:17AM

    Mmmm KFC. Sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well, but hopefully the nausea will pass and you'll just be left with the reward of the weight loss hehe.

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I got 2 lines!!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Yep people. I'm pregnant. I did the official test yesterday morning and there it was. 2 lines!

I stopped the pill back in May and was shocked that it took so little time to get pregnant. I was so scared not to be able to conceive and now it's happened so fast! We're really happy.

Now I have to lose 20 lbs in the next 3 months. I know i can do it cuz with my previous pregnancy i had lost 30 throughout it all. I went down towards the middle then went back up to pre-pregnancy weight at the end and after giving birth i lost another 5 or 10 pounds. I was at my smallest weight in years then. So this time I will lose weight during pregnancy and after i will lose the rest of it during my year off taking care of that baby and my other child. I really believe i can do it.

I will call my YMCA today to ask for a personal trainer that knows about pregnant women and get a program until i can't do it anymore at the gym and then just go for walks until the baby comes.

I WILL DO THIS! I will lose weight while pregnant and keep it off after so i'm a real hot mama!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROTTIELOVER 8/4/2009 8:40PM

  OMG a huge congrats :) so I guess the Taebo will be out :)

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SIEGRID 7/29/2009 7:58PM

    Congratulations!!! But please talk to your doctor before losing weigh while you are pregnant!!

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JRSWHIMSY 7/28/2009 8:48PM

    Woohoo! Congratulations!!!!!!

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MELRAE2 7/27/2009 10:42AM

    Congratulations!!!! That is super exciting!!!
I woudl talk to your doctor about trying to loose through while pregnant though. Otherwise my adive woudl be to talk to a dietician about how you can still have a healthy pregnancy and gain what you need to but not anymore then that. That is what I am planning on doing.
Let me know what you learn about losing weight. I am curious for myself. emoticon

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SHANNJ77 7/27/2009 10:32AM

    Congratulations! That is such exciting news!

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SUNSHINEPOINTE 7/27/2009 10:31AM

    Congrats! That's huge! Finding a pre-natal personal trainer is a great idea. Keep us posted with pictures and such.

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4-ME-TO-BE_____ 7/27/2009 10:29AM

    Congrats on the pregnancy

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SASHAMIDKNIGHT 7/27/2009 10:29AM

    congratulations! :)

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I messed up...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I know this will happen numerous times during my journey, but i'm a little ticked off.

We had a birthday lunch for a colleague today and isntead of listening to the little angel on my right shoulder saying: "order the salad. It's good for you and you won't feel guilty afterwards", i listened to the little devil on the left saying: "order the white panini bread with fries and mayo. It doesn't matter if you feel yukky, it'll taste sooooooooo good!


I'm not really happy with myself or the little devil right now. I am although forgiving myself but will not touch bad foods again for a good 2 weeks. No exeptions. Not even popcorn!!! Thanks to my misbehaving. I have to live with the consequences and punish myself for it too.

I had planned to go to the Y and do an aerobics class tonight and am realizing now that it's more important than ever to go. I will deffinately workout extra to make up for this poison i put in my body.

Thanks for listening to me whine about what i did instead of hearing me cheer about the good choices i should have made. Darn it!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELRAE2 7/23/2009 11:51AM

    I think we all need to listen to the devil sometimes. I think it is better to give in to temptation (in moderation) then to deny yourself as then I think it makes you want it even more. If you tell yourself "yes I will eat this 5000 calorie lunch and then work harder at watching everything else and excercising" you are still making a consceincous choice and are thinking it though.
And try not to beat your self up over thought (though I never take my own advice on that one. Just remember that it is one day in many on your journey)
Put your toe back on the wagon and keep rolling. emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/23/2009 11:52:12 AM

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LEAHFOLLMAR 7/22/2009 3:20PM

    Good luck! I too messed up today, but I got my behind on the elliptical and worked out extra hard today! Good luck with your aerobics class and don't forget, EVERYONE messes up now and again :)

emoticon Think thin thoughts!

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